


Welcome to Prison Mount Weather

by Freelin_Clexa



Category: Clexa-fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prison, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin Friendship, Bellamy Blake & Lincoln Friendship, Caring Clarke, City of Light (The 100), Clarke argues Abby, Comfort/Angst, Commander Lexa, Drama, Echo is a pure soul, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flashbacks, Forbidden Love, Jealous Lexa (The 100), Lexa & Raven Reyes Friendship, Lexa is awake, Lexa is sick, Lincoln is a good friend, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Misunderstandings, Octavia Blake & Lexa Friendship, Ontari wants revenge, Parent Abby Griffin, Post-Break Up, Prison, Protective Clarke Griffin, Protective Lexa, Quote: May We Meet Again (The 100), Rivalry, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2019-10-30 06:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 86,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17823704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freelin_Clexa/pseuds/Freelin_Clexa
Summary: Clarke started her new job as a correctional officer in Prison Mount Weather.Little does she know, that she'll meet her former love again, as an inmate.It will be a long and heart breaking journey for them, many things needs to solve out, dangerous Clan rivalries, but in the end you can feel, that the feelings for your soulmate, will never fade away.





	1. Chapter 1/ Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :)  
> This is my first Clexa AU and English isn't my native language, so every mistakes are mine. I'll never be able to let them go.  
> Have fun on their upcoming journey! 
> 
> I'm planing to write Oneshots of different Events, based on the Story of the Prologue.

„Welcome to Prison Mount Weather, Ms Griffin. May the inmates won't give you a hard time.“ Becca Sky told her and shaked Clarke’s hand. She smiled and responded professional: „thank you Mrs Sky. I'll do my best to give the women a new chance for their future.“ She can't remember a time before, when she was THAT nervous. And she didn't know, that she'll meet the love of her life again.

There was a knocking at the door. Lincoln Keen looked through the door gab. He had a polite smile. „Clarke, are you ready to meet the girls?“ He asked and Mrs. Sky nodded „thank you Mr Keen, you can show her around.“ With that, Clarke made her way through the door and she checked up herself. She got everything she needed. „Keep an eye on your keys, the women would die for getting them.“ Lincoln joked.

He gave Clarke a good feeling, since they're good friends. She got to know him, when she started her official career. Together with Lincoln and Bellamy, she became a good team. „Are you nervous?“ Lincoln asked when they're walking through the prison. Clarke shrugged her shoulders. „I would lie, when I tell you I’m cool with it.“

Lincoln started to laugh, as he remembered his first day. „Hey, you have me, and Bell. And to be honest, the girls aren't that bad, some of them are really nice and welcoming. But you have to be careful, always.“ When they got to the lattice of station 1, and Bellamy, the confidence Officer for the inmates, came by and greeted Clarke. „Clarke finally. Come on, meet the girls.“ With that, all 3 of them were standing in the middle of the station and Bellamy made a call: „Ladies? Please come and meet our new Correctional Officer.“

The women were coming to them and looking at Clarke. Some of them were missing. „Where is the Iceclan?“ Lincoln whispered to Bellamy. He looked through the crowd. Then he found them in the sitting room, debating with some of Trikruclan. „WOODS , REYES, BLAKE, ICECLAN, I WON'T GIVE YOU A PERSONAL INVITATION!“ with that they were coming, but were standing in the background. „Okay, you can start.“ Bellamy whispered to Clarke.

She took a deep breath: „my name is Clarke Griffin, and I’m the new Correctional Officer. When you have something what's bothering you, feel free to talk to me, and I’ll do my best to help.“ She told the inmates. Some were laughing, one yelled „i need some help.in my pants", some were looking annoyed and some turned around to a specific woman.

The crowd took a step to the side and one woman made her way to Bellamy, Clarke and Lincoln. You can see at the body language of Bellamy and Lincoln, that both are stressed about the following scene. This would be the moment, when its settled, if Clarke will have a good or bad time here in Prison. The woman came closer, behind her two beautiful women. the crowd was silent.

Then she looked into Clarke’s eyes, and Clarke's heart stopped beating. _Lexa…_ She had a shocked expression, but tried to show her professionalism. But she would recognize these eyes everywhere. This green colour she fell in love with, years ago. She haven't changed after all those years. Clarke was mesmerized from her look, she nearly forgot to breathe.

„Welcome to Prison Mount Weather, Ms Griffin.“ She made a long pause. How Clarke missed her voice. Lexa looked to Bellamy and said in a strong tone, without any emotions: „so now what? Can we have lunch now, or does every correctional officer needs a personal welcome committee??“ with that, Bellamy nods his head. „Ok Ladies, lunchtime before work.“ The women were moving to the eating hall. Everyone except for Lexa.

She stood in front of Clarke, and Clarke had the feeling, Lexa wanted to communicate with her eyes. No word left her mouth. She was just standing there. After some time another woman came by. „Lex? Come on, lunch isn't waiting for us.“ She told her. Clarke had to swallow hard, when she heard that nickname. She used to call her that, long time ago. Clarke wondered, if this beautiful woman is Lexa's girlfriend. Lexa nodded, turned around on her heels and made her way to the eating hall. With the woman, which is touching Lexa's shoulder softly.

Lincoln grabbed her shoulder smoothly and said: „hey, everything is fine. I guess Lexa accepted you, her opinion is important for the woman.“ Clarke can’t say anything. She's just staring at the door where Lexa left. „I know, she’s making a tough look, but she's loyal and let me be honest: she's friendly and don't want any harm. Actually she has a soft heart. But she built her walls, after all these years.“ Clarke smiled unsure.

Lincoln could see, that something was bothering her. Before he could ask more questions, an inmate with black hair, came closer and asked: „Mr Keen? May I have a word with you in private? It’s because of my next meeting with the lawyer.“ Lincoln's eyes were shining and he answered: „of course Octa… Ms Blake. We can talk in private in your cell, since the other women are eating.“ With that, they're making their way to Octavias cell.

Clarke is joining Bellamy, who's standing at the doorway and watching the girls. He’s smiling to her. „Good job Clarke.“ She had a good feeling, even though she couldn’t believe, she met her former love again. In Prison. She have to find out what happened to Lexa.

 

**Meanwhile Lexa**

„Lex hey, what’s wrong with you? You're different, since the new one arrived.“ Raven asked and eat her meal meanwhile. Lexa just stabbed In her food, without eating. She shaked her head: „nothing Reyes… it’s just because of the Iceclan. Ontari is getting on my nerves with her provocations. Nothing more, nothing less.“ Raven nodded, but you can see, she wasn't believing her. „Tell me… the new officer is hot right?“

Lexa looked to Raven, with a shocked face. But then, Raven start laughing and said: „don't worry, I’m totally satisfied with my girl. The new Officer is all yours.“ Lexa shook her head to a no. But didn't say a word. Raven continued: „I know your look Lex, and how you were watching her. The last time I saw you the same way was with Costia.“ Lexa came back to an stoic face. Raven realised and tried to apologise: „no, I mean… I’m sorry, I didn't mean…“

Lexa cutted her words: „it's okay Raven. Just… let it be. I'm not in the mood for stuff like that.“ She knew, she won't get away that easy, but for now it worked. No one knows her better than Raven and Octavia. They were a Team before Prison, all forth of them. Until that day…

 

**Flasback**

_„I'm so excited, I heard it will be the biggest party this year.“ Raven, Octavia, Costia and Lexa were waiting at the entrance of the Club. „I know the doorman, so we won't have any problems to get inside.“ Octavia said proudly. Costia and Lexa were cheering her, everyone in a good alcohol level. It supposed to be their final party, before real life gets busy with jobs. Everything seemed to be a good evening, until Lexa's phone was ringing. So she left the order, to get the call. It was a costumer. She picked up and everything went fast._

_Lexa heard squeaking wheels, and saw a driver who clearly lost control about the car. She dropped her phone, screamed and ran back to her friends. She sprinted, to arrive before the car but it was to late. Nobody heard the wheels , because of the music, so Nobody was able to get to safety. Lexa ran back and pushed Octavia and Raven away. Sadly, Raven and Lexa, were hit by the car._

_Raven breached her leg and was screaming on the ground. Octavia was also screaming, but didn't get hit by the car, unlike Lexa. Lexa lay down to the ground, and had problems to breath, since the car hit her. After a while, she tried to stand up, to look for the others. Octavia came to her, injured, but not that bad. „Lex… it’s Costia.“_

_With that, Lexa had problems to focus on breathing. With her last strength, she stood up and walked with Octavia to the car. Raven is already in medical treatment, with that, Lexa realised, that she may had passed out for a while. „AAAAAHHHHHHHH" someone screamed. Not exactly someone… it was Costia. Clamped under the car, screaming in pain. The medical and rescue team were already there and were trying to free her._

_„Lexa…“ Costia spoke in a small and weak voice. Lexa got down on her knees to face her. She was stroking Costias face and telling her with a teary and fearful voice: „hey love. Everything will be ok. Here are plenty of people who will help. Don't give up on me, do you hear me??“ she's asking with a shaking voice. Costia was weak and pale, but was nodding with a light smile. She grabbed Lexa's face and told her with a whisper: „you made my loving my life again Lexa… thank you… and I… love you….“ She stated with her last strength and Lexa cried. She tried to wake her up, but the Medicals were pushing her away. Octavia grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. With a teary Voice she said: „I’m so sorry Lexa… I’m so sorry.“_

_Lexa was in shock. She couldn't believe, that this was actually happening right now. That her girlfriend is dead, and her friends/her family is hurt. Her brain just shutted down and she fainted._

_After a time, she woke up in a hospital, and Octavia was there. Her face was covered in dust mixed with tears, and Lexa realised that it’s reality. With a soft tone Octavia grabbed her hand and said with a teary smile: „hey, welcome back. How are you feeling?“ Lexa just looked and refuse to answer the question._

_Instead of answering, she asked back: „where is Raven? And what about Costia? Are you alright?“ she saw, that Octavia was struggling answering: „Raven had an operation because of her leg, but it’s ok. And I’m good because of you. Just a few sprained bones. You saved us both. We wouldn't be here without you anymore. And Costia… Lexa I’m sorry.“ Octavia said, and tears are brimming in her eyes. Lexa didn't cried. She just noded in acception. She denied to talk about it._

_In the next few month, she changed her behaviour, and decided that she needed help, so she went to a psychologist, to start to work with the things that she felt after the accident. Raven was on a rehabilitation because of her leg, and Octavia tried to be there for her, but Lexa didn't let her. Little does she knew, that Octavia also needed her help, since she felt like her whole world was falling apart since the accident. She only has her brother left._

_Lexa had problems in considering, that it wasn't her fault. Until the day, when the process began against the driver. The driver of the car was Nia Queen. A rich woman in town, with the best lawyers of the state. Everyone made their reveals, but in the end, Nia just got a suspended sentence for driving with alcohol level. Nothing for murder or grievous bodily harm._

_Something broke in the girls, when none of their states seemed to be important. It was just about money. Lexa researched and found out, that Nia Queen often had negotiations because of drunkenly driving. But everytime she was indicated, she became a free woman afterwards. not this time. Octavia, Raven and Lexa planned to show her the pain, they felt and still feel. So they made a plan, to take revenge._

_They organised a gun and catched her her, before she got home. Soon the situation turned into a fight, when Nia tried to push them out of the house and one shot being fired unintentional when they fight, and finally hit Nia straight into her heart. She was dead in a second. Her daughter Ontari, heard the fight and the sound of a gunshot and came downwards, to see her mother in a pool of her own blood. Ontari swore revenge, when she realised there is nothing she could do for her mother anymore._

_Raven and Octavia were losing their shit, but Lexa were just standing there, with a light smile of satisfaction. The handmaids of the Queens called the police and soon they had their own trial. Lexa got her life imprisonment for murdering Nia. Octavia and Raven got both each 10 years for assistance of murder. That was the day, they were delivered to Prison Mount Weather. They had a rough time at the start, but slowly Lexa became one of the leaders. Later she was the only Leader, because it’s a dangerous job in prison. Since the death if Costia , Lexa wasn't the person as before. She built her walls up and don't try to get invested with anyone._

 

**Meanwhile**

„Aren't you excited about the new Officer?“ Raven asked with raised eyebrows, a smile on her face- well knowing she's Lexa type of a woman. Lexa couldn't answer, because she was still processing, that she met Clarke again. In Prison. She couldn't believe, that this was really happening. „Lex? What is it?“ Raven asked slightly concerned.

She tried it again, until Lexa had enough, with a strong and hard voice, she responded angry: „Raven! Stop it, I don't want to talk about her. She's just a new Officer , and I don't have to talk about her nonstop. Do you understand me now?!“ she asked slowly. Raven just watched her in silence. Than she shrugged her shoulders: „sure. No need to be angry at me.“ As nothing happened.

They looked into each other’s eyes and eating their meals without saying anything more. After a while, Raven started grinning. Lexa waited for her to start talking. „I bet you find her hot.“ With that Lexa stood up with rolling annoyed eyes and left the table and the eating hall.

She passed Clarke and Bellamy, until Bellamy grabbed her arm and made her stand beside Clarke. She was definitely pissed and asked angry: „WHAT?!“ Bellamy just raised his brows and Clarke was looking to the ground, as she had the feeling that she is Lexa's problem at the moment. „I just wanted to ask , if you know where my sister is.“ Annoyed lexa asked back: „do I look like an information desk? Do your job and find it out yourself.“

With that she continued her way into her cell. Bellamy stood there with his mouth open. He never knew she could be like that angry. Clarke wasn't able to concentrate on anything else than Lexa. „Hey don't worry, she's not always like that. To be honest, I never knew her that angry. She may be have a bad day.“ Clarke looked at him and nodded. „Yeah I guess. We all know, that it’s normal to have a bad day, time by time.“ Bellamy gave her an encouraging smile.

The rest of the day passed calmly. Lexa did her best in avoiding Clarke. Raven realised, that Lexa changed completely, since the new Officer arrived. She was worried about Lexa, so she found her in her cell, just before containment for everyone. Raven stepped inside and sit down onto Lexa's bed, right beside her.

Lexa still wasn't in a mood to have a Smalltalk, she just wanted to be for herself. Raven caressed Lexa’s arm and tried it in the soft way. „Please, tell me what’s on your mind.“ Lexa released a stressed breath, but didn't answered for a while. Raven didn't rushed her, she just waited until Lexa was ready. „The new Officer… it’s Clarke.“ Raven didn't get it. „Yeah I know, she told us her name. Is it because you have to think about Clarke from your past?“ she didn't got it. Lexa looked at her with a unsure look.

Then Raven's face turned to her, with shocked eyes. „HOLY SHIT, no fucking way?!“ Lexa just nodded. Raven hold her hand in front of her mouth. „Oh god Lex… what. Oh god, what will you do now?“ Lexa just shrugged her shoulders and answered: „I dunno, seriously.“ Raven tried to comfort her, because she couldn’t see Lexa this unsure and small. Only Raven and Octavia were knowing this side of Lexa. „Come here, Lex.“ She said, and pulled her into a hug. While hugging Raven continued: „we'll find a way, I know how much she meant to you. Everything will be fine.“

The door was opened and Clarke was watching them hugging. It got her without preparation , so she just stood they're without forming words. Maybe it’s her girlfriend. Clarke thought with a strange feeling. Then she was coughing , so Lexa and Raven looked to the door. „Um sorry… i didn't want to interrupt. it’s bedtime. Please go to your cell.“ Raven stood up and came closer to Clarke and smiled. „Have a good night shift.“ She responded with a smile.

Her eyes were on Lexa, and Lexa looked back. Into the blue eyes she loved so much. Nobody was saying a word, until Lexa stood up and went to the window, turning her back to Clarke. „Alright, thank you. Good night.“ She said with a small voice. The day was mentally exhausting for Lexa, and Lexa can’t continue to have Clarke around, when it’s not necessary. „Yeah right. Good night.“ Clarke replied with a sad voice, which was nearly a whisper. Lexa heard the door being closed, and the keys closing the door completely. And she breathed hard, looked out of the window, and a single tears was leaving her eyes.

 

**Clarke’s POV**

She sat there, her first night shift with Lincoln and Bellamy. Both are holding up their hands to give her a high five. „Congratulations, you survived your first day in Prison.“ Both were joking, but for Clarke it really felt like surviving. She remember the day in the past. When she told Lexa, that life should be about more than just surviving. Afterwards they kissed, for the first time.

Clarke wasn't happier ever before. She felt fulfilled with love and happiness. After Lexa left, she felt nothing. Until today, when she met her again. She should be angry with Lexa, for avoiding her now, after breaking her heart in the past. But to be honest, she was glad, because she wouldn’t know what to say, or to asked and if she'll be able to be smart and professional. But she needs to know, why Lexa left her.

„Can you tell me, why the woman are imprisoned??“ Bellamy started talking about a few girls. Explained her, to which Clan they belong. Lincoln continued, when Bellamy has to make his round around the station. She was very curious, when he came to Lexa. She couldn't believe her ears. She lost the track and was just thinking about Lexa. „But this was the short version for everyone. If you want to know more of them read the files.“

With thousandth of questions in her head, she ended her first day in prison. It was a long shift , due to sick co-workers and she was exhausted when she arrived home, and soon went into a deep sleep. Her last thought, before sleeping was Lexa.


	2. Finding solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is trying to analyse the day when Lexa broke up with her, but she can't find a solution. 
> 
> She gets to know Echo and her complicated situation in prison, and want to help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving kudos and comments on my first chapter! :)
> 
> Have fun on reading chapter 2! :)

„Good Morning colleagues. Let's talk about the stations, was everything okay, or were there any problems?“ All Officers were giving their results of the last day. Bellamy: „Station 1 was scary calm. It was just a little incident between woods and queen. But nothing serious. Queen is provocating Woods, but she‘s staying calmly. But I have to say, that Woods is acting weird since yesterday.“

Becca Sky nodded her head. „I see. We have to keep an eye of both of them.“ She looked to Clarke: „ Mrs. Griffin, how was your first day?“ Clarke smiled and responded: „it was good actually. Even though it was a long shift, but it was interesting. I would love to read the files of the inmates, to get to know them better, and to study the membership of the different clans.“ Becca smiled.

She had a good feeling, that Clarke will be a good and sensitive Correctional Officer in future. „No problem, the files are in my Office. You can ask my Secretary, to give you the files. Ok than, have a good day everyone.“ With that, she left the Officer room.

Lincoln came closer to Clarke: „hey, how are you doing? You look a little bit exhausted.“ Clarke replied: „Oh don't worry, I just had a rough night. I guess my brain just starting to process everything from yesterday.“ In reality Lexa stole her night. She was dreaming of her, and their past. She hadn't dreamed of Lexa for a long time , but now every hidden feeling, seems to come back and hitting her harder than before, for example the unresolved break up. Clarke tried to analyse the situation again and again.

 

_**Flashback Breakup Clarke’s POV** _

_„I can't wait, when we'll travel the world next year.“ Clarke looked at her, with bright blue eyes. Lexa kissed her forehead and Clarke enjoyed this moment with closed eyes. „Me too Baby, plus your parents wouldn't care anymore, if we're just friends or not.“ Clarke cuddled to Lexa, like there isn't any space in the king size bed. Lexa heard her deep breath and knew, Clarke is about to sleep away again. „Come on, we have to get ready for school.“ Clarke murmured some words and Lexa started laughing hard._

_Clarke looked to her with sleepy and confused eyes. Lexa stroke a strand of hair from Clarkes face and said: „you can’t just sleep away in what? 5seconds? We were just talking.“ Hearing Lexa’s laugh, made her heart racing. She couldn't believe that Lexa is the woman, she will wake up every morning in the future. She always thought, that she isn't a person with much of luck._

_For example her parents. Her Mother Abby decided, that Clarke will be a doctor in future and her dad Jake is always away because of work. She loved her dad, but loving her mum was giving her a hard time. She also tried to set her up with a young rich medicine student, a son of a famous doctor and friend of Abby._

_She told Clarke, that this would make her life perfect, and that she don't have to worry about anything anymore. But for Clarke , her perfect life was with Lexa. They had a secret relationship for 3 years now. When her mother saw them often together, or the sleepovers nearly every night, she sensed that there might be something more, but she never had a proof. Lexa was a smart girl, but for Abby, she wasn't enough._

_Lexa wasn't rich or famous or anything like that. She had no money for the future, since she grow up in a foster care, because her parents died years ago. She was all alone by herself, and that was the only reason, why Abby let her stay that often. Until Clarke began to get bad grades, with that, Abby was acting stranger than before, and said that it was Lexa’s fault. She may be kind of right, but not because of Lexa’s bad influence. Clarke only realised, that spending time with Lexa was more important to her, than having the perfect grades for a medicine study._

_„Come on we have to go to school now, or we'll be late.“ Lexa tried again, and Clarke pouted her lip. „Let’s runaway. Somewhere no one knows us. Please Lex??“ she made a puppy face, and Lexa kissed her slowly and intensive. When they broke apart, Lexa replied: „we have to finish school, afterwards we'll travel around the world, buy a house were we are surrounded by nature with a garden for our dog. and a big room, just for you, where you can draw and be inspired by the nature. And than we'll be together forever until our last breath.“_

_She finished dramatically. Clarke looked shyly and asked: „ that sounds beautiful. so you're planing your whole life with me?“ Lexa looked deep into Clarke’s eyes, with pure love written in them. „My whole Life. Because I love you Clarke.“ She kissed her again, and Clarke tried to deepen the kiss, but Lexa moved away and stood up fast: „right, step one is finishing school, so come on, our whole future depends on this!“_

_Clarke rolled her eyes, and stood up too. Both made themself ready for school and they left. The day wasn't eventful at all, and both of them planned to date in the afternoon, because Lexa had a appointment with the Headmaster that day. But she promised, to visit her later. And she kept the promise. Afterwards, Clarke wished that she hadn't. It was raining and the door bell rang._

_Clarke opened fast and grabbed Lexa by her Jacket, to pulled her inside and to kiss her. But Lexa was passive, freeing herself from Clarke and said „Don't… we… I have to tell you something.“ She was still standing in the rain, her hair, face and clothes wet, and a sad expression written on her face. It started to scaring Clarke. She came closer again and tried to make Lexa coming in. „Lex hey, please come in, my mother isn’t here. You'll catch a cold, you're already pale.“ She was worried, because this isn't the Lexa she knew. Lexa took a deep breath and with a shaking voice, she said: „I can't go on like this anymore Clarke. I'll leave this city, because I have nothing left to stay here. Don't try to find me, we're over.“_

_Clarke’s face fell down, her mouth hung open, and she was so shocked that she couldn't form any word right now. Lexa turned around on her heels and started to walking away from her, that woke Clarke up and she ran after her, and turned her around with shaking hands. „Lex, what happened?! You can't be serious right now? You can't just…“ she couldn’t finish the sentence._

_She saw that Lexa is forced to say that, because she could see the pain in her eyes, and she can barely stand her look. „I… am serious. Just accept it. It’s better for us.“ She tried to walk away again, but Clarke hold her in place, big tears are forming in her eyes now. „Lex please tell me the truth. We were planing a future together a few hours ago?! And now what? Everything is done?!“_

_Lexa shakes her head, she tried to stay strong, but except for the rain, Clarke could see her tears. „I made this decision with my head, and not my heart. I'm sorry Clarke. But yes we're done.“ She told her with a small and sad voice. With that Lexa walked away. Clarke was so shocked and heartbroken, that she wasn't able to move a single muscle._

_Her whole life was falling apart right now, her head started spinning around and she wanted to vomit, but nothing came out. After a while of crying in the rain, her neighbour came and asked if she needs help. She didn't answer, turned around and made her way back to the house. With shaking hands she tried calling Lexa, but her phone was off. This was the moment Clarke broke down completely._

_She cried and screamed until Abby came back from work. Abby was worried, but Clarke didn't spit it out. When she went to the bedroom, there were no tears to cry left, she took Lexa shirt and hugged it, because it still smelled like Lexa. She lost her love, her soulmate and future._

_**Flashback** **end**_

 

Clarke still felt the dizziness, when she thought about that day, it’s been 10 years now. Lincoln: „If you want, you can grab the files and study them on Station 1. We just have watch over the girls who aren't allowed to work. Mostly Iceclan at the moment.“ This confused Clarke: „why aren't they allowed to work?“

Lincoln sat down and explained: „you know, the women who are working, earn money. Money is important, in Prison, they can buy some personal stuff in the kiosk. But when they’re doing something against the rules , fighting or getting caught by doing something illegal , we are able to delete funds and work for a specific time.“ Clarke understood. She decided that she'll take the files to station. „I'll come to Station 1 in a few, I’ll grab the files first.“ With that both were making their ways to different places.

Everything worked, and she made her way to Station 1, with 3 big folders under her arm. She realised she may need days to work everything out. Lincoln was debating with some Iceclan members on the corridor. „Why are WE the ones, who aren't allowed to work, when Woods and her girls can work? They were the ones who were attacking us? Why aren't you punishing them also?“ asked the dark haired smaller woman.

Lincoln was calm and answered politely: „there wouldn't be any fight, when you wouldn’t provocate them constantly. So you started first, and you'll be punished. Learn from it, change your behaviour and all of us won't have a problem.“

The woman is only laughing. „Sure. Woods can do what she wants. But maybe it’s because you don't want to punish sweet little Octavia? Maybe next time, you better close the door, when you have your ‚private talk‘.“ Lincoln wasn't speaking to them anymore, he just made a call to Bellamy: „Iceclan has a contact ban now. Please cut their phonecards, thank you.“

All the girls were revolting now. Lincoln smiled and spoke directly to them: „have a good day.“ And went into the main spot, where they can look to every angle of the Station. Clarke also came in and closed the door behind her. She sat down, when Bellamy made his round. „So you and little Octavia?“ she asked and was smiling at him. Lincoln denied at first, but then he continued: „but it’s not the reason why were don't punishing them. Iceclan are dangerous. Just as a hint: Don't fall for their little games. And we speaking about them with their surnames, not that someone feels disadvantaged.“

Clarke noded and one Iceclan member showed up at the lattice of the room. „Mr Keen? I'm sorry but please don't give me a contact ban. I have a son, and I have to call him and make sure he's okay.“ Clarke looked at her and tried to know her name. Ah yes, Echo Azgeda. She had a pure expression and Clarke believed her.

Lincoln knew that Echo is one of the few, who wasn't bad at all. But they decided time ago, that they'll punish the whole clan, and not only members. To put a pressure on the Clan, not to make it bad for each of them. „I'm sorry, but you know the rules. Either all or no one. But I’ll talk to Ms. Sky about your special case ok?“ he told her and wanted to cheer her up. She just looked to the ground and replied: „Okay, thank you Mr Keen.“

Clarke smiled at her, when she moved away and decided that she wanted to help her. „What is her special case?“ Clarke asked and furrowed her brows. Lincoln turned around and had an emphatic look. „She's worrying about her son, since he's still living with her ex husband, because she's in prison. The youth office won't hear her out, they're just seeing him as a Victim.“ They were interrupted by Bellamy, who just came back. „Were you talking about Echo?“ he asked with questioning eyes.

Clarke began laughing, and looked from Bellamy and Lincoln and back again. Bellamy asked with a smile: „what did I miss?“ Lincoln: „Oh nothing, I just explained to Clarke a few moments ago, that we are talking about the women with their surnames.“ Bellamy blushed a little and scratching his head. „Yeah right.“

When Clarke saw him blushing, no more words needed to say and she clapped her hands and said: „I guess you both have to tell me something more about two specific women. And i don't want you to let one detail out of the story!“ Bellamy and Lincoln were feeling caught and all three of them where laughing now, and finally she felt better again. Bellamy: „Okay you caught us. But I don't want to hear Lincoln’s story, because I’m kind of biased. Maybe we'll get a drink after work?“ Lincoln nodded, and Clarke was happy about the offer, because she really needed diversion at the moment.

„okay it’s settled. But at first, I have to study the files.“ She started with Echo’s file. She read that Echo is imprisoned because of attempted manslaughter. No extra informations to that case. Just that she was found in a corner, devasted and clinging to her son. The police officers had problems to separate them. When the trial came, she stated that she had to do it, or her son would have gotten hurt.

Nevertheless she was convicted. The blood in Clarke’s system turned cold and she closed the file. What a complicated story, but she saw the truth in Echo‘s eyes. She read some more files for 2 hours now and needed a break. „Guy's? I want to talk talk to Ec… Mrs Azgeda. Do you think, she's in her room?“ Bellamy nodded his head and looked up from his desk. „It's cell 5.“ She nodded and opened the door. Meanwhile the other inmates coming back from work, and Lexa, Raven, and Octavia and some others found their places at the stairs. When Clarke came along, they greeted her, except for one: Lexa.

She didn't even looked at her and had her eyes focussed on the ground. When Clarke passed her, Lexa looked to the side, where Ontari was sitting, and recognized that she also was eyeing Clarke, to look where she wanted to go. Clarke stood in front of cell 5 and knocked the door before she went in.

But Echo wasn't nowhere to found, but Clarke heard whispers in the restroom. „Shhhshhh don't cry baby, mommy is trying her best to help you okay?“ Clarke spoke in a loud voice: „Mrs Azgeda? I want to have a word with you.“ Echo in a loud voice: „I’m coming" and quietly: „mommy has to hang up now, I love you.“ The toilet flushed, and Echo came out.

She looked desperate and had tears in her eyes. It made her feel uncomfortable, that Clarke was looking at her, without saying a word. „What is it?“ she asked now slightly angry. Clarke: „if I remember right, private phone’s aren't allowed and you have a contact ban.“ Echo raised her hands and laughed. „Perfect, you learned the rules. Now you can punish me with isolation, I know. But you know what?“ she came closer to Clarke, but Clarke didn't move backwards.

Echo continued: „I don't care. I'm either way a no one here in prison. You Officers are all the same, when it comes to your rules and clans. Yeah I know I'm Iceclan but I didn't even had something to do with the thing with Woods.“ She spoke in rage. Clarke responded in a calm voice: „i don't care what Clan you belong to. And I don’t want to punish you with Isolation. I'll give you a warning and confiscate the phone.“

Echo was silent, her face became softer and kind of surprised, but she didn't say a word and just handed her the phone. Clarke took it with a smile. „I'm here to help you. Were you talking to your son?“ she asked now. Echo went to her bed and sat down with a big sigh. She nodded. Clarke came closer again and tried again, as Echo don't seem to want to talk. „Let me be honest. I read your file, but I want to know what happened. I see it in your eyes, that you're worried about your son. Maybe we can find a way to help both of you, but you need to be honest, that’s the only condition.“

Echo watched her and didn't know if she could trust her. It took her a while to start, but Griffin might be her last chance. So she pointed to the chair, signing Clarke that she should sit down: „it may take some time.“ She stated with a weak smile. And than she started talking. Told Clarke everything about her former relationship with her ex-husband. That he was a loving and caring man, until he was fired and started drinking.

When she was pregnant with their son, his name is Sam- He accused her, that she cheated on him, and that Sam isn't his son. He made her Life to hell, and when Sam was born, he had an violent behaviour towards her. But he never hurt Sam, until he wasn't well-behaved anymore. Echo told her that the day, when the accident happened, she came home and heard the cries and screaming outside the door. She ran inside and saw her ex-husband standing there, with raised fist, and before he could hit Sam, she grabbed an empty beerbottle, and hitted his head.

He became unconscious and fell on the edge of the table, which made his injury worse. Afterwards she can't remember anything, she had a blackout- the Police officers told her how they found them afterwards, and that the neighbors heard the loud noises and screming, which leads them to call the Police. At the trial he turned everything around. She was afraid before that’s why she never reported him to the police. That’s why, everyone believed him, and she got imprisoned.

Clarke couldn't believe her ears, by hearing that story. Echo sat in front of her, devasted and crying. „Yep, that’s my story. And now my son is living with him all alone. And I don't know what to do anymore.“ Clarke wanted to grab her hand, to show her support, but she decided herself against it. „I promise, I’ll try my best to help you okay? I worked in a foster care and know some people of the youth offices.“ There was a knocking at the door, and Bellamy looked inside.

Seeing Echo that broken, made him nervous, when Clarke and Echo turned around to him. His eyes were focussed on Echo, but he spoke to Clarke: „I… wanted to look, if everything is alright, Clarke you were really long gone.“ Clarke stood up and replied: „yeah sorry, I forgot the time.“ She turned to Echo: „I promise, I’ll do my best.“ Echo looked at her thankfully. She also looked to Bellamy and went to the restroom again. Both were leaving cell 5 and many eyes were on them.

„Everyone was wondering why you were gone so long.“ He whispered to her. „Okay, but I told them yesterday, if they're having a problem, they can come and talk to me. And I want to help her.“ She explained, Bell calmed her down: „yeah right, no worry about it. Just for the next time, tell us when it may take you a little longer than planned. We have radio-telephones, you know?“ he winks. Clarke understood. They arrived the main spot and she said: „yeah I have to tell you something. I found an illegal phone. I spoke a warning, and won't put her in isolation, Echo needs help, Bellamy.“

Bell sat down and answered: „yeah I know. It’s a shitty situation. Maybe we can work out something together?“ He asked hopefully. Clarke: „Perfect, I may need help.“ She felt that Lexa was glancing at her, but when she looked up, she talked again with Raven. After a while Raven came closer to the main spot and ask: „Hey Griffin?“ Clarke focussed on Raven: „yes, Mrs Reyes?“ she smiled and Raven asked: „what were you doing up there?“

Clarke laughed shortly: „I didn't knew, i have to inform you about personal conversations.“ Raven winked and said: „okay my fault, but be careful of the Iceclan.“ and turned around to went to Lexa again. She seems to tell her and Lexa looked to Clarke. „I told her, that she should be careful with the Iceclan.“

Raven spoke to Lexa. She nodded and looked into Clarke’s eyes. „Maybe it would be easier, if you would just talk to her, instead of avoiding her?“ Lexa turned her head and eyed Raven. „No way.“ Raven sighed loudly. „Lex, just explain the situation of your common past and both of you may feel better around each other.“ Lexa didn't answered, but knew that Raven was right.

„I'm sorry to tell you, but she doesn't seem to quit her job anytime soon.“ Raven finished. Lexa shook her head: „No, I won’t. its better for us if we‘re keeping the distance.“ Raven rolled her eyes, because of her stubbornness. „Ok sure. But don't think I’ll always be the mediator between you.“ Lexa smiled, and knew she could count on Raven, no matter what.

Time passed and Clarke was on her way to the bar with Bellamy and Lincoln, and all three of them, we're ready to end the working day with some fun. And Clarke also needed time, to make a plan for helping Echo.

 


	3. Clan differences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke want to give the inmates a opportunity for their future, but the Clan Rivalries may be a bigger problem than she thought.
> 
> Lexa has to overcome her personal problems and her and Clarke have their first face to face conversation, since Clarke started her job.

Clarke's first days passed by fast. She had a lot of things to do, since she studied the files, between doing her job and and trying to figure out out a plan how to help Echo. She decided, that she don't want to help just Echo, it came into her mind, that all the inmates might need help. she read that many of them don't have a job education, and some of them also have children, who aren't able to see them.

Before started her shift, she called Becca Sky, and asked for an appointment. She just told her, to come by and Clarke did. Clarke gave Becca her hand and greeted her: “Hello Mrs Sky, thank you for the fast appointment. I have to ask you something.” Mrs Sky nodded her head and smiled genuinely. “I’m listening. Are there any problems?” Clarke shook her head: “No everything is working out alright. But I want to do something for the women. When I read the files, I realised that there are many of them, who don’t have a perspective after prison.” Becca looked curious. Clarke continued: “For example a job education or some of them having children, but losing contact with them due to the prison rules. Many of them don't have anyone to talk to, because of the different clans. You know what I mean? They don't have anything to fight for. That’s why I wanted to ask, if it would be possible to start a social project.” Becca had a little smile on her face: “yeah I know what you mean. But as you said, doing exceptions is against the prison rules. And personally, I don't think that the Clan members are interested in working together.” Clarke didn't let go and kept talking: “yep, I also think it will be hard, but IF it will work out, maybe the women are more relaxed, which makes the living less aggressive among themselves. Plus: we could make a stepping stone for other prisons too, if it’ll work out.” Mrs Sky was eyeing her and waited with her response. When she thought about it, she stated: “okay. IF you can convince the clans, I will support you.”

Clarke looked happy with that, not knowing that there might be a problem. Becca Sky looked onto her clock and said: “good, if there is nothing more to talk about?” Clarke stood up and said her goodbye. “thank you and have a nice day.” She said and exited the room. When she told Lincoln and Bellamy about her idea, both said that they'll support her. When she entered Station 1, nothing was different than the last week. Lexa continued avoiding Clarke, which was getting on her nerves slightly. She just didn't understand, why Lexa was acting that way.

But focussing on her project was a welcoming distraction. She went to Echo’s cell and looked inside. Iceclan’s contact ban was already extincted, but Echo had problems to reach Sam, since no one was picking up the phone, whenever she tried to call him. “Mrs Azgeda? I have good news.” Echo looked up with hopeful eyes. Clarke: “I talked to my friends of the youth office and explained the situation to them. They promised, that they'll make a unannounced visit, to see if everything is alright. If not, they'll do everything to keep Sam safe and bring him into the foster care where I worked before.”

Tears of happiness glistened in Echo’s eyes. She stood up and came closer to Clarke. “thank you so much, I… I don't know what to say.” She was lost of words. Clarke just smiled and responded: “oh don't worry, everything is okay. Just make sure, you don't make something illegal the next days or weeks, so the youth office realise, that you changed.” Echo nodded and laughed shortly: “yes, it’s pretty easy, if I wouldn't be in Iceclan.” She sat down and ran her hand through her hair. Clarke asked: “why is it that hard to change the Clan?”

Echo was silent at first, but then she stated honestly: “I can't. I… have done bad things here in prison, in my past. Things against Luna, things against Lexa.” Clarke blinked, when Echo named her. Echo: “I was Iceclan from the beginning, and our leader Ontari has her own rules, mostly against all the others, who are working against her. She wants to rule the prison and there is no way the other Clans would help me. And I’m sure Ontari would make it clear that I belong to her.” Clarke slowly began to understand the Clans. Trikru and Flowerclan are working together. She asked: “Ok I get it. What would be if you wouldn’t belong to any clan?” Echo shook her head. “that would mean I would be outlawed, and no one have my back. We had 3 outlawed people here, all of them were killed by ‘accident'. That’s why I can't leave the Clan.”

Clarke didn't know anything about that, swallowed hard, when she thought about the dangerous prison rules. She understood, and wanted her project to work out, more than before. The door was pulled open and Ontari stood there with her girls and was eyeing Clarke. Echo looked like she was catched, and Ontari asked: “Hey Griffin. Why are you always around Echo? She can take care of herself, she has us.” She came in and one of her girls was closing the door behind them.

All of them were in the cell now, and Echo looked uncomfortable. She didn't know what will happen next. Clarke didn't lose it, and stayed calm. “I don't take care of her. I'm trying to help her in a personal case.” Ontari came slowly closer, she had a smile on her lips. “So what do you think about helping everyone of us not only one, since you are a social person?” there were centimetres between them and Clarke swallowed. “you're always free to come to me.” Echo stood behind Clarke and intervened : “It was nothing Ontari, I swear. She was just helping me with my son.”

The door fastly opened again and everyone turned around and looked to it. Lexa was standing there, slightly shocked, as if she suspected a blood pool. Seeing Ontari this close to Clarke, made her furious. But when she realised that Clarke is well, she was calmer again. Lexa and Clarke were looking in eachother eyes. “Woods what are you doing here. I just had a nice chat with our new Officer.” Ontari talked to her and waited for her response.

Lexa stiffened and answered: “the show is over. You know the rules, it’s not allowed to make a hidden meeting in a cell.” Ontari rolled her eyes. Clarke stood there and didn't want to intervene. She heard that Echo left out a relieved sigh, since she was holding her breath. Ontari came to Lexa and Octavia was already in a fighting position: “you're right, but you also know the rules, and know that you and your clan don't have anything to do in a Iceclan members cell.”

It was a tempting situation and you could feel the aggressive mood of everyone. Before something could escalate, Clarke said: “Okay, so everyone broke a rule, that means you are quit. I ask you to leave the cell. All of you.” Lexa holding her glance with Clarke, didn't say a word, but turned around slowly, to leave the doorway with her girls. Ontari shouted after her: “I remember a time, where you weren't obeying Officers, you are becoming a softy, Woods.”

Lexa was close to turn around in rage, but Raven and Octavia grabbed her shoulders, to hold her in place. “Let her, she’s not worth isolation.” Lexa was angry. She thought Clarke got it, that she should stay away from Iceclan. She talked angrily to Raven when they sat down in the common room. “I thought you told her to be aware of Iceclan?!” Raven hold up her hands to start her defense speech but Octavia said: “Lexa, don't make it about us. Raven and me told her often.” Lexa calmed down slowly, and said: “if we haven't intervened, who knows what would happened to Clarke? We have to be more careful.” Octavia: “yeah but don't forget she's a Correctinal Officer, Lexa. She can't just avoid Iceclan. It’s her job you know? Or do you think, it’s fun for Lincoln or Bellamy to work with them? After everything they put me through?” Lexa didn't respond but Octavia was right. She hadn’t viewed from that angle before. “I know you want to protect her, so she won't get hurt, but avoiding her isn't helping at all.” Lexa took a deep breath and let her head sink into her hands. She had a headache and she knew that her acting could put Clarke into more danger, when the other women have the feeling, that Lexa don't respect Clarke. Lexa is overwhelmed of her feelings for Clarke and her guilty conscience and her fear.

“LADIES! MEET US AT THE MAIN SPOT PLEASE. WE HAVE TO MAKE AN ANNOUCEMENT!” they heard Bellamy shouting. _Perfect. I just want my peace_. They stood up and made their way to the main spot. Bellamy, Lincoln and Clarke were standing in front of them, and Iceclan separated from the others. Clarke stepped forward and said with a loud but friendly voice. “I have to announce you something. I already spoke with Mrs Sky, and now I want to make you an offer.”

All women were looking at each other. Some were murmuring. Lexa just stood there with an unemotional facial expression. Clarke: “I realised, that some of you are mothers, who aren't able to see their children. I want to change that and start a social project for all woman of different clans. We will work with a youth office, to arrange special meetings with your children.” Some were cheering and clapping hands. Clarke got a positive feedback.

“What about the women, without children?” Lexa asked with a serious face and looked patiently to Clarke. Clarke thought: oh look, she has a voice. She responded: “that’s my second point, for those who are nearly before their release, will get the chance to make a job education, to have an easier start for their life after prison.” Nothing of both would benefit Lexa, but she nodded and asked: “what are the conditions?” when Lexa spoke, everyone else was silent. Clarke: “not many. The main condition is to overcome your clan issues and work together. It doesn't matter if you're Trikru Clan or Flowerclan or Iceclan. If you want to join the project, you are just a woman, without any membership.”

Lexa shook her head lightly and smiled a little. But Clarke could tell it wasn’t a real smile. She hadn't noticed that Lincoln and Bellamy looked at each other with an unsure expression. They knew how Lexa behave, if she isn't happy about something. Clarke continued: “okay than, raise your hands if you want to join the project, we need at least 10 of you to start. ” She smiled and waited. Most of them were just looking at Lexa, but she haven't moved a single finger. Clarke didn't knew, that there was a silent agreement, that the leaders have to speak for the girls. And when they are against something, the whole Clan is also.

Echo raised her hand, but Ontari shouted: “Echo, don't you dare.” And she let her hand sink again. With an apologising look, she looked to Clarke. In the end, no one raised their hands and Clarke looked defeated. It hurted Lexa to see Clarke this way, but she also have the responsibility for the women. Lexa came closer and spoke in a loud voice. “than it’s settled. No one is interested in attending your project. Iceclan made their choices where they belong to, and we are not interested in reuniting with them.”

She turned around and made her way to her cell. She needed time for herself badly, she had a hard time by seeing Clarke this sad. Trikru Clan members were following slowly, after Lexa was gone. Clarke sighed and Bellamy saw, that Clarke’s shoulders hang down. The women were looking like they're conflicted, as Clarke knew especially the mothers would have taken the chance. “okay. It’s your choice. I won't force you to anything, I just gave you an opportunity.” She nod and tried to speak in a hard voice. The meeting was dissolved and Bellamy and Clarke were in the main spot again. Lincoln spoke to Octavia. They needed to spend time, since Lincoln will be gone for one week, because of a further education.

Bellamy: “Hey Clarke. I'm sorry it turned out that way. Do you have a problem with Woods? I mean, normally she's open for these kind of ideas.” Clarke was angry: “I don't know what I done to HER. These bullshit Clan rules.”

 

_**Meanwhile in Lexa's cell** _

“Lexa. You can't just expose her like that.” Raven stated and looked at her with unbelievable eyes. They were back again in Lexa’s cell and she looked out of the window. “Have you seen the hurt in her eyes?” Raven asked again. This hit Lexa and she turned around fast: “believe me, I’m aware of that. Do you think it’s easy for me? I want the best for her and I don't want to hurt her.” With a knowing look. “I know how you feel about her and I know you want to protect her. But exposing her isn't helping, it makes her more vulnerable.” Lexa felt uncomfortable, by knowing in how much danger she put Clarke. “Raven, could you leave me alone for a bit? I need to clear my mind.”

Raven nod and left the cell. Lexa sat down and calmed down. Since Clarke is back in her life she’s acting strange and the only thing she wanted to do was to hug Clarke and tell her that she's sorry. There was a knocking at the door. _Why the hell isn't it possible to have my peace for more than one minute?_ She asked herself. “YES?” she asked in a weak voice. Luna came inside and Lexa desperately asked: “god what do you want? Does Raven send you?” Luna smiled and sat down beside Lexa. “No she haven't send me. I’m here as the leader of Flower Clan.” _Perfect, we have a serious conversation right know._ “and what do you want, Luna kom Flower Clan?”

Luna: “actually, I thought about the offer from Mrs Griffin. And I want my girls to attend the project.” Lexa furrowed her brows. “why haven't you raised your hand than?” Luna continued: “ because you were against it, and I wanted to talk about it with you at first. Why are you objecting it that much?” She asked curiously. Lexa stood up and the loyalty of Luna and her Clan means much to her. Lexa: “I just have a bad feeling when it comes to Iceclan. Maybe there will be a traitor who’ll try to play us against each other.” Luna understood, but didn't lose her smile. “I know what you mean, but we also know how to handle Iceclan. There isn't one of us who would fall for their little games.” Lexa knew that Luna was right.

She didn't respond. Luna again: “could it be that you have a problem with Mrs Griffin, and that’s why you are against her project?” Lexa answered fast: “no?! Why are you thinking like that, does Raven told you anything? The safety of the women is my highest priority.” Lexa lied. Luna stood up, but didn't force Lexa to spit it out. “What should Raven tell me, when there is nothing to tell about?” she winked: “but the women are realising that you changed, since Mrs Griffin came to our Station. As a hint: don't make it to obvious. Ok to come back to the main problem: it would be a good chance for our girls and their futures. We should give the project a try.” With that she left Lexa’s cell, before Lexa had the chance to answer and left her standing there alone with her thoughts.

There was a storm inside her brain and she decided how to solve the problem. She don't know, how much time passed, but Raven came inside and asked her, if she wanted to eat something for dinner. Lexa: “I’m not hungry, but I’ll do an announcement.” When they entered the eating hall, everyone was already there. Bellamy watched out for the girls and Clarke wasn't near to be found.

She stood in front of the women, with Raven beside her. “Please listen one minute, I have to tell you something!” she spoke loudly and everyone turned around. Most of them weren't in a good mood since the project is cancelled. “I thought about the situation earlier.” Lexa started and even Bellamy listened interested like everyone else.

Lexa kept talking: “and I came to the conclusion, as the leader of Trikru Clan, that I give my girls the chance to attend this project, even though I won't attend. Luna came to me and we both decided that our girls are free to choose if they're want to attend.” All the girls were cheering and hugging, even Bellamy was nearly to clap his hands. Luna watched her proudly, because Lexa made the right decision.

Everyone was happy, except for Iceclan. Ontari was furious and stood up that fast, her chair was fall to the ground. She came to Lexa and said angrily: “you can't be serious right now! WE are ruling the Station Woods! You’re acting like you're the boss for all woman! I won't accept it.” Lexa came closer also angry but calm. Bellamy was alerted and close to intervene. Lexa: “firstly you and me aren't ruling anything together.” She came closer, Ontari took a step backwards. “secondly I'm no one’s boss, my girls have a free will. You are just scared, that your girls will starting to revolt against you.” She stood close in front of Ontari and said quieter now: “and thirdly: Trikru Clan and Flower Clan made the decision, and in a democracy that means: the majority decided.” Louder and with a look to all of the women:” just for record: Everyone of ALL Clans are free to attend the project.” Cheering and happy voices from the women even from Iceclan.

Lexa smiled and left the eating hall, after stopping by Bellamy. “you can take the signatures of the women now.” Both were smiling at each other, and Bellamy had the feeling that old Woods is back again. “Ok Ladies, you heard her: I’m coming around now to take your signatures.” Bellamy spoke and made his way through the tables.

Ontari still stood there at the place, where Lexa left her and Raven could tell that she's raging inside. She went to Luna, sit down on her lap, and placed her arm's around her neck, to give her a sweet peck on her lips. “you've done a good job, thank you for that.” Luna smiled and looked satisfied. Clarke calmed down a bit and saw that Lexa went into her cell.

She followed her and stormed inside the cell, to find a Lexa who was changing her shirt. Both had a shocked expression on their faces, Lexa nearly jumped because someone entered her cell without knocking, and Clarke because she saw Lexa standing there with just her bra on. She saw Lexa’s abs and her perfect body, she saw scars (which were frightening her because she didn't knew how she got them), but the most important: she remembered the times, when Lexa belonged to her, and used to wake up with her in the morning. Clarke was lost of words and her heart started racing, she closed the door behind her, so no one else will see Lexa.

Lexa already changed her shirt and was completely clothed up again. Lexa watched her quietly and questionably. “what is it Mrs Griffin?” Clarke rolled her eyes: “Stop this shit Lexa, I want to know: what have I done to YOU?! Do you hate me that much, that you have to turn the women against me and sabotaging my work?!” Clarke was desperate and angry, Lexa could tell.

“This isn't about you Clarke, it’s about the Clan rivalries.” Clarke had a strange feeling, when Lexa said her name. She forbid herself, to have a good feeling about it. “I don't just mean my project. I mean the whole situation. Is it that hard for you to talk to me in a professional way? No you're just avoiding me and sending Reyes and Blake to communicate with me.” Lexa looked to the ground, caught.

Clarke faked a laugh: “what, do you really thought I don't get it? But you know what?” Clarke was centimetres away now. “I don't care anymore. I just want to do my job and help the women to have a future afterwards. But you're to norrow-minded to see it.” Lexa missed the raspy voice of Clarke, and her eyes, her perfect face, her lips… Lexa starred at her lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

She moved to the side to lose the focus and asked with furrowed brows: “why are you here in the first place? Shouldn't you be an artist or something? I know that this job isn't fulfilling your life.” Clarke shook her head and couldn't believe her ears. “oh yeah I forgot, you always knew what I wanted and what’s the best for me. You know, why I’m not an artist?” She came closer again and with glisting eyes, she said: “I lost my inspiration to draw, when you ripped my heart out and left me there all alone. But I understand now, you never cared about me.”

Lexa blinked and her stomach turned over. She couldn't meet Clarke’s eyes. “I made it to protect you, and to give you the opportunity for your future.” Tears were building in Clarke’s eyes now, and she respond in a sad but hard voice: “tell me more about it. Lexa you never gave me a real explanation, you were always talking in mysterious sentences.” Lexa continued to stare to the ground, having Clarke this close in front of her, made her shaky.

And hearing how broken Clarke was after all these years, made her feel sick. She shook her head: “for now you need to know, that it was never my intention to hurt you Clarke and I cared and still care about you.” She spoke softly and finally looked up into ocean blue eyes. Clarke saw the sincerity in her eyes but couldn't answer, because she don't trust her voice in that moment.

“You have to be careful of Iceclan Clarke. They're not to be trusted. Some of them are cold-blooded murderers.” Clarke respond, well knowing that following would hurt Lexa, but she was so heartbroken, that she didn't care. “oh I see, but tell me why should I trust you? You're also imprisoned for murder right?” Lexa swallowed hard and lost her focus. She stepped back and said: “in that case you're right. Get. Out. Now.” Clarke smiled a little and felt better now, because she wanted Lexa to feel the pain she felt for years. She turned around and left the cell.

She took a deep breath and Bellamy came to her and showed her the list. “What is it?” Clarke asked, when they were walking to the main spot. Bellamy looked at her uncertainly and laughed a little when he showed to Lexa’s cell: “I thought you knew already. Woods spoke with the girls and gave her okay for the project. They're attending, even some of Iceclan. I already took the signatures and there around 18 people who want to.” He told her happily. Clarke was overwhelmed: “Lexa… spoke to them?” she asked and felt bad right now.

She didn't knew about it. Bellamy waited for her to be happy: “Yes Clarke, but you don't look like you're happy about it?” Clarke smiled and didn't know what to do now. “Of course I’m happy, I just have much to organise now. Mind giving me a hand?” she asked and Bellamy nod. That's how she ended her shift, Lexa was never to be seen anymore this day, and everytime someone tried to enter her cell, they came back outside fast, because Lexa made sure she wanted her peace. Clarke realised, it was up to her to apologise, but not today.


	4. Lexas reasons to leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has to work with Officer Pike today, and nobody is happy about it. 
> 
> Because of a punishment Pike gave Lexa, Clarke finally got to know why Lexa left her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and leaving kudos on the last chapters!  
> It took me some time to update, but finally it's here:  
> Have fun on Chapter 4! :)

Clarke tried her best, to overcome herself, and apologise to Lexa for.. yeah for what exactly? For showing the truth into Lexa's face? But she should have reacted in a non personal way, without giving Lexa a bad feeling to be an inmate, since Clarke didn't know what happened exactly.

She realised, that Lexa turned colder to her than before, if even it’s possible. Her project was working out good, and the Clanmembers are acting respectfully around each other. But the most important thing for Clarke was, that the whole aggressive situation between the Clans are slowly starting to calm down a bit, except for a few women of Ontaris Clan.

Clarke realised that Ontari tried often to speak with her about meaningless stuff, so that Clarke just knows her good side and that she's trustworthy. The truth is, Ontari just wanted her to stay out of her business, since she was manipulating her women. For Ontari, everyone wanted the bad for her personally and everyone was her enemy. “Hey Mrs Griffin!” Ontari shouted loudly and Clarke looked to her with a slighty smile. “Mrs Queen? Can I help you with something?”

Octavia looked questionably to Lexa , who was eyeing the situation sceptically. “what’s wrong with Ontari?” she asked and Luna & Raven came to them, arms around each other. Before someone could speak, Raven said: “why is Ontari always around Clarke these days?” Lexa looked to her and corrected her: “Mrs Griffin. And I don't know what Ontari is planning to do.”

Seeing Lexa’s face, Raven could tell that she is uncertain about it, but Lexa tried to let Clarke doing her job, as she wished. Raven asked carefully: “don't you think, it would be better to tell the girls about your history?” Lexa immediately shook her head to a ‘no'. Octavia tried to assure her and said: “that’s a good idea Lexa! Most of the girls are loyal to you, they could make sure to keep an eye on her, when we aren't around.” Lexa closed her eyes and spoke: “exactly ‘most' of them. There is a bigger risk that the rest of them, see her as a weak spot for me.”

All of them had plausible reasons. Lexa stood up and went to the open telephone area. She passed Ontari and Clarke, while Ontari looked at her with a sweet smile. “I am so grateful for your project Mrs Griffin. It’ll give the women a new opportunity for their future. Finally you are an Officer, who the women can trust, even though some of them aren't able to appreciate it.” Lexa heard Ontari say, afterwards she can't hear anything, because she was to far away.

Lexa just knew Ontari was planning something. She looked to Octavia and nod shortly, with that Octavia stood up and went also to Clarke, pushed Ontari a little bit away, so Clarke focussed on Octavia now. With a better feeling, Lexa started to call Madi, her sister. Hearing Madi made her heart grew a little. The phone rang about 3 times and she picked up: Hello? Lexa: “Hey Madz, it’s Lexa. How are you doing?” she spoke in a loving tone with a smile on her face. Madi: “Hey Lex. I'm glad you're calling. I'm close before my final exam, and I’m studying like hell.” She responded. Lexa was proud at her little sister, because she knew, that Madi decided to be a lawyer, to help Lexa get out of prison.

She never understood, that there won’t be a chance, but Lexa didn't want to hurt her. “I'm so proud of you Madi, you wouldn't believe. But be careful, and don't overwork yourself okay?” she asked. Madi laughed slightly and Lexa could hear that she's exhausted. “I promise I won't overwork myself, you know me. But I have to get you out as soon as possible.”

Lexa couldn't reply anything and heard Clarke shouting: “ OKAY LADIES! GET YOURSELF READY FOR FREETIME AT COURT.” Lexa didn't want to cut the call, but she had to. “Hey why won't you come to visit me next week? I'll talk to Mrs Sky to figure something out.” She saw Clarke coming closer. Madi: “I’d love to. Just let me now when, after Tuesday I’m free, and hopefully with passed exams.” Lexa smiled, and before she could respond Clarke stood beside her and said quietly: “please hang up the phone and come to the main spot.” Lexa nod shortly and said: “Ok, I have to hang up now. Be careful and I love you. Bye.”

Lexa said and Clarke blinked. _I love you?? Who was she talking to??_ She asked herself and a strange feeling in her stomach. Lexa hung up the phone and went to the other girls, Clarke slowly following her. Lexa hasn't said a single word to her since the cell incident, when it wasn't necessary. Clarke and another Officer brought the girls to the court, where they are able to have free time before work. Some were sitting on a bench, some were playing basketball and some were moving around the court.

Clarke realised that some Iceclan members were trying to befriendly with other Clans, since the project was doing well. It makes her happy, especially for Echo, because she's really nice and Bellamy cared for her. When Trikru Clan passed by, inclusive Lexa, she stopped Octavia. Lexa wanted to go further, but Raven grabbed her arm and made her stood still. Both of them turned around and waited for Octavia. “Mrs Blake? You have an appointment with your lawyer tomorrow.” Octavia asked: “Will Mr Keen be back again tomorrow?”

Clarke smiled and shook her head to a ‘no'. “Sadly he won't, he got sick within the further education, but I shall greet you.” Octavia was worried in one second. “what? But… is it something serious?” Clarke put her hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “No worries, he just got the flu. Maybe later you could give him a call, and make it sure for yourself.” Octavia nod and smiled: “Thank you Griffin. Um… I mean Mrs Griffin.” She corrected herself. Lexa couldn't suppress a little smile, when she saw how comfortable Clarke was around her friends.

Clarke looked at her at this moment, and she felt her heart flutter, because this is excactly the little shy smile, she felt in love with, years ago. “Mrs Griffin!” Someone shouted. Clarke turned around and saw an Officer coming closer. She heard an annoyed Raven whispering: “God, not these asshole.” The Officer stood in front of Clarke and had a stiffed body language. “Mrs Griffin, my name is Officer Pike. We work together today and watch out for the inmates while they're working in laundry.”

Clarke cringed a little when he was addressing them as inmates. Sure, technically he was right, but they don't use this word normally. Raven mimicked him and Clarke suppressed her smile. Pike had a severe face and said: “You better watch your behaviour or isolation will teach you.” Clarke looked to Raven and before she could answer anything, Lexa stepped in front of her face and said in an urgent voice: “Leave. It. Come on, we should go.”

Raven breathed heavenly, since she hated him, because he locked Luna into isolation for 2 weeks, although she was innocent. Plus he's one of the worse Correctional Officers in prison. Normally he's working at Station 4 but sometimes Mrs Sky ordered him to different Stations. Raven struggled with herself but she listened to Lexa. All three of them were walking by and Clarke looked at him with a sceptical look. “ok than, we should gather the women and bring them to the laundry.” Pike whistled loudly and shouted: “ALL INMATES, GET READY FOR WORK!”

Clarke saw, that the women weren't happy to have him around and she said quietly: “is it possible that you don't address them as ‘inmates’? At our Station, they're just ‘women’.” Pike looked at her pejoratively: “that's why they don't have any discipline in Station 1, because you are always giving them a soft time.” Clarke started to feel angry and stiffed, but he continued: “I see them the way they are: criminal inmates.”

Clarke answered with a serious tone: “I'm sorry, but you shouldn't say it that way, when you don't know the story WHY someone decides to be criminal.” By saying that, she thought back when she acted the same like him, in Lexa’s cell. She made her way to the women and they brought them to the laundry.

Everyone was unmotivated, even Clarke, because working with this colleague isn't fun at all. Whenever someone dared to speak a word, Pike commanded them to stay silent and do their job. Close before break an incident happened, and two women were fighting and on hit the finished ironed pile of laundry, which fell to the ground and was dirty and creased again. Pike ran to them and pulled them apart, and shouted: “THIS IS INACCEPTABLE! YOU'LL CLEAN THE MESS IN YOUR BREAK.” Lexa looked up from her workplace and said in a challenging tone: “don't be pitty. This is the laundry for the day after tomorrow, and we already finished it. We have plenty of time to finish it again. Both of them have a right to do a break.”

Pike came closer in slow steps. Clarke followed him, to make sure he won’t do anything thoughtless. There was a tension in the air. Pike stood close in front of her and said: “you're right, they should rest and do their break. Actually I have an better idea: YOU will do it in your break,” Lexa wanted to say something but he continued and silenced her: “and I’ll watch over you, and if you think about opposing me, I’ll make sure that you’ll stay in isolation for a, as you said, plenty of time.” Lexa swallowed hard.

Everyone was silent when Clarke said in a provocating tone, because he slowly started to getting on her nerves plus she hated injustice: “Woods didn't had anything to do with this. You can't punish her without a reason.” Lexa looked strictly to Clarke and Raven smiled and clapped her hands, which earned a pissed look from Pike. Pike: “I can, because she resisted my orders.” To all: “break in five minutes.” And he went away without letting her answer, Clarke tuned around and spoke annoyed: “I will look after her. You look after the women on break.” With a forced smile he replied: “sure, as you wish.” Clarke didn't see, that Lexa isn't happy about it either.

When the break came, all women were leaving the laundry, except for Clarke and Lexa. When Raven passed Clarke, she winked and stated: “have a nice break Griffin, and thank you for standing up for us.” Clarke just smiled and nod shortly. She closed the door and Lexa started to work on the pile of laundry silently. Clarke felt a little bit out of place and didn't knew where to go, or how to start her apology. She had million of thoughts in her mind. “Clarke you're staring. Stop it.” Lexa said dryly and Clarke felt caught.

She came closer and was playing with her hands, Lexa knew that she was nervous. “I… wanted to say, that I’m sorry for the things I said to you in your cell. It was unprofessional.” Lexa breathed sharply. “You don't have to apologise. You were right, I’m a murderer nothing more, nothing less.” This got Clarke, there was a time where you were my everything. and she responded slightly provocating: “I made a mistake and I apologised, like adults do. It’s not that hard, isn't it?” Lexa turned around and knew, that Clarke meant, with a hidden message, that Lexa should also apologise. “why do you always have to be around me? Can't we just avoid each other, and stay out of our business?”

Clarke snorted: “that would be easy for you right? Plus it’s not like it makes me happy to be around you that often. As you could imagine, it’s also hard for me to have you around.” Her voice changed into a softer tone in the end and looked to the ground. Lexa stiffened and can't give in now: “well than it would be the best for you to change the Station. It would be better for both of us.” Clarke looked up, with fire in her eyes. “Oh yeah, that would be perfect for you right? You know what would be the best for both of us?”

Clarke asked in a challenging tone and came closer, Lexa waited and couldn't break the eye contact. “the best would be, if you would finally have the balls and tell me why you left me. I just want to know, so I can finally end to ask me the same question again and again: what have I done wrong.” Lexa blinked, when she saw the hurt in Clarke’s eyes. She shook her head: “you haven't done anything wrong Clarke. It was me. I became weak.”

Clarke breathed in sharply and asked again in a forcing but calm voice. “tell me. Have you cheated on me?” Lexa shook her head fast and grabbed her shoulder impulsive. “No of course not, I would never.” She let go of her shoulder when she realised how close both were in front of each other. She turned around to take a little distance between them, took a shaky breath and asked: “do you remember the day?” Clarke swallowed hard, because of the knot in her throat. “as if it were yesterday…” Lexa started: “I had the appointment with headmaster Titus Ground…”

 

_**Flashback Breakup: Lexa's Reasons** _

_She knocked at the door of Titus Ground Office, still happy, because of her perfect morning with Clarke. She really is the woman she would do anything for and spend the rest of her life with. She wanted to wake up every morning with Clarke right beside her, and show her every day that Clarke deserves the best. “Come in.” Titus Ground said and showed her a chair, where she could sit down. Lexa said: “Good Morning Mr Ground. What is the appointment about?” Mr Ground smiled a little. “Fast to the essential, as always. Ok I heard a rumour, that you and Mrs Griffin may be more than friends.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders: “why would you care?”_

_Titus stood up and went to the window to look outside, the clouds were hanging low and it'll starting to rain soon. “personally it’s non of my business, unless your grades aren't suffering from it. As for Mrs Griffin: sadly her grades are already suffering.” He turned around again and Lexa was eyeing him unsure. Titus: “and this is why I told you so often: Love is weakness, even tho you don't realise it in the first place.”_

_Lexa replied: “I don’t think perfect grades are the ultimatum for weakness. In my opinion, weakness is to be alone, with no one who loves and care about you.” Titus wasn't happy, but he said in a calm but fierce voice: “if you want to be successful you need to be alone. All of your choices are different with a person you care about.” He came closer: “Mrs Woods, you're in a foster care, your little sister is living with adoptive parents. You won't have an easy future, when your first priority isn't your personal well-being.”_

_Lexa asked once again politely, without answering: “what is this appointment about, Mr. Ground?” Titus: “This appointment is about your future. What are you expecting from your future Lexa?” he asked and she thought back a few hours ago, yeah that would be her future. “I want to start a future with Clarke. And than we'll see.” She answered shortly. Titus started laughing. “Mrs. Woods, this really sounds like a cliché or a romantic movie. What about your wish to be a astrophysicist? Isn't it important anymore?”_

_Lexa looked down to her hands and replied: “I have to win a lottery to pay the Collage for it. So I don't think I could do it anyway.” Lexa was a real science nerd, and Clarke was always jealous , since Clarke didn't understand a single word, when it comes to math or physics. Titus sat down again. Lexa asked with furrowed brows: “wait, how do you know in the first place, Clarke and me are together?”_

_Titus laughed shortly, but it wasn't a happy laugh, Lexa could tell. “you know, it’s not hard to realise that you’re in love with each other, the hidden kissing, you're always standing up for her, acting like a perfect daughter in law.” Lexa understood and asked, slightly furious: “I see. You're speaking with me in order of Ms Griffin.” Titus nodded his head to a yes and Lexa raised her hand to her forehead. She couldn't believe, that Abby knew about them._

_Titus: “she came to me and asked for advice. That’s why we want to make you an offer.” Lexa shook her head, and it started raining exactly this second. Lexa stood up: “there is no offer, which will get me to leave Clarke. I love her, and would do anything for her.” Titus stayed calm in his seat. “hear me out at first.” Lexa rolled her eyes, and just wanted to leave this place. “I'm offering you a safe financial future. I already talked to the headmaster of an well-knowing Science Collage. I sent him your grades and he would make an excuse, so you could start your semester before you're turning 18, and you'll get a stipendium during all the time and could live on the campus. Of course he was amazed of your grades. And for Madi, we'll do a bank account with a huge amount of money where she'll get access as soon as she turns 18, so her future will be also save.”_

_Lexa couldn't believe her ears and looked at him with big unbelievingly eyes. “I don't need your money. I'll able to take care for me and my sister, without your ‘help'." She spat loudly and was furious now. “If you'll excuse me now, I’m done with this bullshit.” Lexa turned around and went back to the door, until Titus said: “it would also profit Clarke’s future of course.” This made Lexa turn around and come back closer to him. “neither you or Ms Abigail Griffin knows anything of what Clarke needs or wants. Let me guess, you want to tell me that she could go to the best medical Collage right?”_

_Lexa asked sarcastically. Titus shook his head: “I’m aware that this is the wish Ms Griffin has for her daughter. But me for myself knows, that she wants to be an artist. I told Abby about it, and discussed and she finally realised, that it isn't her choice to decide what Clarke should work in future.” Lexa blinked and asked. “So she could go to an art Collage? With Abby's blessing?”_

_Titus nod and continued: “not just any art Collage. The best. We just want the best for all of you.” This got Lexa: “sure, that’s way your working constantly against our relationship. Why do you have a problem with that?” Titus face hardened more and more: “because Love is weakness. Being successful in life means to be alone.” He repeated it, like it was on loop. Lexa shook her head. “I’m feeling sad for you. You're just bitter and don't have anyone to come home.”_

_Titus clenched his teeth. “As much as I can help you to have a good future, keep in mind that it’s also in my hands if you, Madi or Clarke are failing in her lifes. How does it sound, to have a future without money, because no one want to employee someone who isn't good enough for the job? What future will it be, when Abby and Jake aren't accepting her daughter anymore, and she'll be all alone?” He came around the table and spoke dangerous quietly: “you know the feeling of being all alone, with no family left. You may be say, at least she has you, but think about it realistic. You will always know, that it was your fault, that you're all that she have left. And for Madi? She’ll grow up and maybe do a job education, but you will always know, that she could live her dream, without worrying about money.” Lexa swallowed hard._

_She was definitely overwhelmed now, and watched into his eyes with pure hate. “Fuck you!” she passed him and went to the door: “think about it. I already booked a flight for tomorrow morning and a pick-up service, who'll bring you to the university. Plus everything is cleared with the foster care. Your ticket is deposited in the airline counter.” Lexa closed her eyes and ran out of the door and shut it hardly behind her. Tears of fury are building in her eyes. Then she started to processing everything he said._

_The future of the only two people she loved was laying in her hands now, she tried to figure something out, but she didn't want Clarke to feel alone as she felt before she met Clarke. Traveling around the world means that they need to have money, which is only able to get with a job. And she wanted Madi to fulfill her dreams, and don't have to worry about money. That’s why she decided to take the flight tomorrow, that’s why she made her way to Clarke’s house and rang the doorbell. She didn't knew how long she walked in the rain, at least no one saw her tears._

**_End Flashback Breakup: Lexa's Reasons_ **

 

Both of them sat down, after tidying and ironing the pile of laundry. Clarke had the same facial expression she had after Lexa breaking up with her. She will never be able to forget it. Clarke got a big headache after hearing the story of Lexa's reasons. She just stared into Lexa’s eyes, as if she's in trance. Lexa: “and believe me, I also had a hard time to leave you. You were my everything Clarke. But I needed to choose for all of us, not just for me. That's why I made this decision…” Clarke cut her sentence and finished: “with your head, and not your heart.” Lexa nodded, with teary eyes.

Clarke stood up and came closer to Lexa again. “but why. Why didn't you tell me about all of this Lex? We could have worked out something together.” Lexa looked to the ground when she heard Clarke’s shaking and sad voice. “Leaving you is my biggest regret. And I’m deeply sorry for hurting you.” Hearing this felt for Clarke like someone put a knife into her heart and turned it around. She couldn't say anything more, because the door burst open and Officer Pike and the women came back in.

Clarke stepped back fastly and turned around, he said: “I don't think you will be paid for chatting with eachother.” Lexa went to Raven and Octavia. Both were worried at first, to see the tears in Lexa’s eyes, but something changed. Lexa’s eyes were more relieved than before. “We'll talk afterwards.” Lexa said quietly to Raven and Octavia. Clarke spoke to Officer Pike:

“Woods finished her work, that’s the only thing that matters. If you'll excuse me?” With no other words she made her way to the toilet. She looked into the mirror, splashed some water on her cheeks and took a deep breath. She couldn’t believe, that Lexa finally gave her an explanation and apologise after all these years. She kind of felt relieved and angry at the same time. “dumbass…” she whispered and calmed down.

She ended her shift, without talking to Lexa again and was glad to be home. She opened a bottle of wine, her reserve for special days of sad mood, and this day was definitely one of them.


	5. Ontaris Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is having a hard time after Lexa told her the truth.  
> After a drug incident at Station 1, Ontari is trying to get rid of Clarke.  
> Echo seeks for Lexa's help, even though she's afraid of Ontaris revenge.  
> Lincoln is a good man in the storm as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos on the former chapters!  
> Here comes chapter 5!

After Lexa told Clarke the truth about her reasons to break up with her, Clarke had problems to cope with it. She wasn't motivated to go to work, because she didn't know how to deal with Lexa. Now she was the one who was avoiding Lexa. She was relieved, when Lexa finally told her the truth and answered her questions, but she started to think about, how her life would have been, without her mother putting pressure on Lexa. In the evening, her doorbell rang.

Clarke sighed and stood up to went to the door, she wasn't expecting any visitors. She opened the door and Lincoln and Bellamy were standing in the doorway. “Hey guy’s, what are you doing here?” Clarke asked and ran her hand through her hair. Bellamy hold up a pack of beer and Lincoln hold up three pizzas. Without waiting for welcoming words, both came in and looked around. Clarke hadn't tidied up, she always was a chaotic person, when it came to tidying.

But she also knew, Lincoln and Bellamy wouldn’t mind, so she closed the door and asked again: “Okay so tell me, what are you doing here?” Lincoln shrugged his shoulders and said innocently: “nothing, we just wanted to hang out a bit, drink a beer and eat pizza together and see how you're doing.” Clarke with one raised eyebrow: “um okay. We have already seen each other today, so I’m fine?” she went into the kitchen to get plates for the pizzas, came back and grabbed a beer.

She sat down on the couch and opened the pizza carton and was happy: finally something to eat. “I love you guys, you're the best.” She spoke, when she ate the first piece of pizza. They were talking about different stuff and fastly emptied their first beers. When everyone finished their pizza Clarke felt a little bit happier again, because she realised in this moment, that she hadn't ate much the past days. Bellamy sat beside her and looked around the room and his view was located at one corner. “Clarke, have you drawn this by yourself? I never knew you are that talented. This is amazing.”

He stood up and walked to the picture, which she started drawing the last days. “this is amazing Clarke. But it…” he stood in front of the picture and tried to find words, because he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. He laughed a little bit nervous and was scratching his head when he turned around: “it looks like Woods.” Clarke looked to her hands and smiled a little bit. Bellamy looked helplessly to Lincoln, searching for help, since Clarke didn't answered anything. Lincoln: “Even if it’s Woods, there is nothing wrong with it. I mean, she's beautiful.”

Clarke looked up to Bellamy, who nodded approvingly. She took a deep breath and said: “It is Lexa. Guys? I guess it’s time to tell you something.” Bellamy came back to the couch, Lincoln opened a round of beer for all of them and Clarke started to tell the story of Lexa’s and her past.

When she finished, Bellamy and Lincoln were speechless. “I started to draw this picture, without even thinking about it. I mean, I haven't drawn in ages now. But since I met her again, I just feel like I have to draw again.” Lincoln was the first to speak: “She’s inspiring you. Damn Clarke, I'm sorry, this is a fucked up situation.” Clarke: “oh no, don't worry about it. I'm done with it.” Clarke is stating fastly and smiled. Bellamy shook his head and tried: “are you sure about it?” Clarke immediately became defensive. “yes I am sure about it. Why are you questioning me. Plus it’s none of your business, guys.”

She said in a kind of annoyed voice. Lincoln smiled slightly: “It’s none of our business and we don't want to offend you Clarke. But to be honest, we didn't came here without a reason.” Clarke didn't understand a single word. Bellamy continued: “we wanted to make sure that you're fine, since you acted kind of strange since the day you met Woods. Plus Woods acted strange also, so we came to the conclusion, that there might be something more to find out about.”

Clarke stood up and went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. She didn't wanted to talk about it. When she was about to go to the living room again, Bellamy and Lincoln already stood in the doorway of the kitchen. She rolled her eyes: “you're slowly annoying me. I told you everything about Lexa and me. I don’t know what you want now?” Bellamy stepped closer: “we just want you to know, that you can talk about everything with us. You're not alone with that. Look at Lincoln and Octavia.” Lincoln: “Or look at Bell and Echo. It’s kind of working out.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Clarke breathed loudly and stressed.

She stated slowly word for word: “I.Don't.Want.Anything.To.Work.out. We haven't seen each other for years now plus she broke my heart. We aren't the same people as we were.” Bellamy: “I second that. But keep in mind what you said. Maybe you’re different persons now, but you’re still the persons you were.” Clarke looked to the ground, Bellamy stepped closer and pulled her into a hug, Lincoln also came nearer, hugged both of them and said: “you can always count on us Clarke, and you can tell us everything from now on okay?” Clarke nodded her head and said relieved: “thank you guys, I wasn't sure if I could tell. And it was hard to handle it by myself. But for now, let’s just have a relaxing evening okay?” she asked and all three of them went back into the living room and had a relaxing evening without deep meaningful conversations.

 

_**The next day** _

Mrs Sky ordered an emergency meeting for Station 1, that’s why Clarke, Bellamy, Lincoln and the rest of the Officers went into the Officers room, and were curious about what was happened. All of them sat down and Mrs Sky came through the door and looked stressed. “We have a problem, yesterday we had 3 drug overdoses at Station 1. They're in the hospital now, but we have to find out, who is smuggling the drugs, and who’s selling them. I want you to keep an eye on the women, you should find out who’s acting strange and stuff like that.”

Clarke looked shocked, with a strange feeling in her stomach. “who were the ones who overdosed?” She asked Mrs Sky. She had a serious face and responded: “2 women of Iceclan and one of Trikru. I don't need a bad image for our prison, that why I ask you to find out. Are there any more questions?” Everyone shook their heads, no one dared to asks more, since Mrs Sky was really pissed off. She nodded and left the room, without sharing another word.

Afterwards, the murmuring started and everyone made their suspicions. Bell, Lincoln and Clarke were walking to Station 1 and Lincoln shouted: “LADIES, MEET US AT THE MAIN SPOT.” All of the women stood in a row in front of them. Clarke was relieved, when she saw that Lexa and her friends were alright. “we heard about the incidents of yesterday, that’s why we don’t have an other chance, to do a cell control.”

The women weren't happy at all, especially Ontari was angry. She shouted: “You can't do this, this is our privacy. We don't have anything to do with this drug bullshit. It’s our right to have private area. Plus we have personal stuff, which was teared apart the last time we had a cell control.” Echo was looking at Lexa, who stayed calm. Some women were raging after Ontaris speech, but when Lexa raised her hand everyone became quiet. She said: “if you don't have anything to hide, you won't have a problem with a cell control.” She didn't even shared a look to Ontari. Ontari was clenching her teeth and Lexa continued: “and about the privacy, you're right Ontari, but I’m sure the Officers will keep an eye on to make sure that personal stuff won't be teared apart in any way. Am I right, Mr Keen?”

Lincoln nodded and smile slightly: “that’s why we have colleagues with special trained dogs, which are trained to find any kind of drugs. Just in that case, we have to confiscate personal stuff to do some research.” The women were calmer with it, at least the ones who weren't hiding something. excactly in that moment, they heard dogs barking and rattling chains. Ontari said: “I have to use the bathroom before, I’m not feeling good.” She stormed into her cell, and wanted to destroy her drug packages. She threw them into the toilet and realised in shock that she forgot one in her jacket for work. She ran back and when she had the package in her hand, Clarke opened the door and looked to her.

Ontari placed her hand right behind her back and Clarke said: “what’s in your hand Mrs Queen? Show me.” Ontari was smiling, but the smile never reached her eyes. “Mrs Griffin, it’s not what it looks like. You have to believe me.” Without answering, Clarke came closer and said: “Give it to me.” Ontari gave her the package and smiled innocently. “you have to believe me. It’s not mine. I found it in the morning in the bathroom, and before anyone can use it, I took it. I wanted to show you as soon as I could, but now I got scared and wanted to destroy it.”

Ontari said and tried to convince Clarke that she's innocent. Clarke looked at the package and replied: “Let me be honest, I don't believe you. You had the chance to say it to the Officers when you found it.” Ontari came closer, acting desperately: “but you're the only one of the Officers I do trust, Mrs Griffin. Plus it wouldn't be good for the women, if they lose your project, just because of the collective punishments.” Clarke looked deep into her eyes. She quietly said: “I don't have any proof, but be sure: I'll keep an eye on you.”

Clarke knew, that the punishment would have been bad for all of them. She went outside the cell and made her way back to Bellamy and Lincoln, while the other Officers were controlling the cells. “What was with Queen?” Bellamy asked and looked to Ontari and how nervous she looked, while they were controlling her cell. Clarke looked up and showed him the package. “She’s tricking us. She told me that she found it, but I don't have any proof otherwise. I'll tell Mrs Sky about it later.”

Lincoln took the package and said: “its heroin. She's always tricking us. She’s one of the dangerous here in prison.” Clarke looked to Lexa, who waited patiently until her cell is finished controlling . _Lexa was right, when she was warning me about Ontari. I really have to be more careful._ When the Officers finished their work, they came back to the main spot. One of them spoke: “everything is clear. We haven't found anything even if some dogs in different cells showed signs, that there might have been drugs, but they're gone now.”

Bellamy looked serious: “which cells?” the Officer told him the cells, Bellamy wrote them down and the Officers were gone. “the dog was alarming in Ontaris cell. We have to keep an eye on her.” Clarke nodded and stood up. “I want to inform Mrs Sky. I'll be right back afterwards.” She left the main spot and made her way to Beccas Office.

She knocked at the door and stepped in. Mrs Sky looked up from her documents and showed to a chair for Clarke to sit down. “how was the cell control? Do you found anything?” she asked and Clarke showed her the package. “it wasn't found within the cell control, one of the inmates gave it to me and said she found it in the bathroom.” Clarke explained, when Mrs Sky examined it. “who gave it to you? And have you also controlled the bathroom?” she simply asked. Clarke answered: “Ontari Queen. But I don't believe her, I caught her and I think she was about to destroy it.” Becca eyed her and nodded shortly: “Well than, I think we should punish her. She's always a very manipulative kind of person, we shouldn't let her get along with it.” Clarke shook her head immediately: “Well I don't know, I think it’s not fair to punish the whole Iceclan, because many of the women wouldn't be able to participate the project anymore.”

Becca looked questionably: “what are you suggesting instead of a collective punishment?” Clarke: “I guess we shall find out the one who's delivering her the drugs, if we're able to find out, we could stop the whole process from the start. We want to keep an eye on Mrs Queen, and her contacts.” Becca smiled. “You have a smart way to see things Mrs Griffin. Okay, I’ll give you one week to find it out, if not we'll do a collective punishment and won't care about personal issues anymore.” Clarke stood up and shook her hand: “Thank you Mrs Sky.”

She headed back to the Station. Lexa and Raven were standing nearby and Raven asked: “what about the cell control? Have you found anything?” Clarke looked at Raven and smiled: “sadly we haven't,” she looked to Ontari: “but we found clues. So if you'll have anything important, feel free to come to one of us. We want to solve the problem without collective punishments.”

Raven understood and Lexa continued to look at her, but haven't said a single word. Clarke went back to the main spot and informed Lincoln and Bellamy about everything Mrs Sky told her. Lincoln: “I don't think, that anyone will come and give us any kind of informations.” Clarke: “why that? I mean it would been good for them.” Lincoln answered: “yeah of course, but they have a unspoken code, no one works with the Officers, it doesn't matter which Clan did something or which Clan you belong to. That’s also the reason, why Inmates and Officers shouldn't have a relationship, because their members could think that they tell us things, we shouldn’t know.” Clarke stated: “seriously? I didn't know about it. Damn. We have to find out who's delivering the drugs.”

 

_**A few Days later** _

Days were passing by and neither Clarke nor Bellamy or Lincoln found something out. Ontari was really careful and just had contact with her Clanmembers and one Officer. Officer John Smith. Clarke didn't knew him, since they were working in different shifts. They only seen each other when a shift ended. None of the girls were overdosing, but Clarke knew some of them were on drugs, especially the Iceclan members. She just didn't knew how.

 

_**Meanwhile in the Common room** _

“I want her to go, we don't need a overprotective Officer who's getting on our nerves.” Ontari said madly. 4 or 5 of her closest members were cheering, but Echo and a few other women just sat there against their wills. She didn't dare to say something against Ontari, as she knew how cold-blooded she is. But she liked Clarke, and it would be horrible for her, if Clarke wouldn't be there. She gave Echo and many women a new perspective for their future lifes. She was grateful for Clarke, especially since she's the one who believed her and saved Sam from his father. Sam is in a foster care now and Echo is in contact with him as much as she could. Soon there will be the first appointment to meet him. She couldn't be happier, when Clarke told her about it.

“Okay let me tell you something. To get rid of her I made a plan. Since the drug incident, everyone is observing me but they don't know that I have a co-worker in their own line. Tomorrow, Officer Smith will hide some sweet drugs in Griffins locker and tell Mrs Sky, that there has to be one of the Officers who's delivering the drugs. And that he found something in the changing room. She will order a control in the changing rooms, were all the lockers are located. And hopefully our sweet Mrs Griffin will be suspended after they found the drugs in her locker.”

The women were hyped, finally there is a little bit action again. Echo: “how are you this sure Smith will do it?” Ontari: “because she’s annoying him. Plus he has a good additional income through coorperation with me. Do you have a problem with that?” Some of her girls were cracking their hands aggressively and Echo swallowed. “um no of course not Ontari.” With that the meeting finished.

When Ontari was gone, Echo tried to speak to the resf of the women: “Come on we have to do something about it. It’s not fair, Ontari can't get away like that.” The other women were looking to the ground, all of them were scared of Ontari. Echo tried again: “Guys! What’s wrong with you? Mrs Griffin helped us so much, aren't you a little bit grateful?” Nobody said a word, because they were ashamed of themselves. But the fear of Ontaris revenge was bigger. Echo snorted and left the Common room. She was having a hard time, but one thing she wanted to make sure: Griffin shouldn't leave the prison.

That’s why she entered the bathroom, when Trikru Clan has their time to showering and bathing. Two Flower Clanmembers, were standing in the way, when Echo tried entering. “it isn't Iceclan bathroom time.” Echo looked around and made sure, that non of her Clanmembers were around. “I know. But I have to talk to Lexa.”

Lexa, Raven and Octavia showed up behind Echo, on their ways to take a hot and relaxing bath. “tell her yourself.” One of Flower Clan stated and showed behind Echo. She turned around and saw Lexa, standing there in nothing more than a big towel. “What a honour Echo kom Iceclan. I don't think its your time to shower right?” Echo took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something. It’s important.” Lexa shrugged her shoulders. “why should I trust you?” Echo stayed calm: “because it’s about Griffin. And believe me, it’s not easy for me either, to seek for your help.”

Lexa was eyeing Octavia and Raven, who were nervous. She was right, Echo wouldn't step into Trikru territory all by herself without a reason. Lexa nodded shortly. “keep it short, I want to relax.” She looked to the Flower Clan members and said: “Let her pass.” With that she, Raven and Octavia went inside, followed by Echo. Trikru Members were eying Echo suspiciously.

Lexa said loudly: “don't care about her, she isn't here and nobody has seen her, are we clear?” with that, no one cared about her anymore. They went into a bathtub cabine and Lexa let water into the bathtub. “Time is running Echo…” she sat down on the edge of the bathtub and was looking curious at her. Echo went down on one knee, so she would been eye in eye with Lexa and started telling her Ontaris plan. After hearing it, Lexa felt furious. She tried not to show it and asked: “why is it so important for you?”

Echo looked straight into her eyes and Lexa could tell, she was sincerely. “Because Mrs Griffin helped me to save my son, and she's promoting us.” Lexa carefully: “if your tricking me…” Echo shook her head and said immediately : “I won’t, but you have to do me a favour.” Lexa blinked: “I don't have to do anything. Thank you for telling, I’ll see what I can do. Now leave.” Raven and Octavia grabbing Echo's shoulders and tried to pull her out of the cabine.

“Please Lexa!!” Lexa looked up and Raven and Octavia were pausing their actions. “keep me safe, Ontari can't find out what I’ve done, please.” Lexa swallowed, but she felt sorry for Echo. Nevertheless she's Iceclan. “you aren't Trikru Echo. I can't promise you that, I’m sorry.” Now she was gone and Lexa took a deep breath. She has to inform the Officers about the plan. But at first, she'll take a hot bath.

The day pasts fast and Raven, Octavia and Lexa decided to inform Lincoln about it, because Octavia was aware of the fact that Lincoln knew how to breaking locks of lockers, since he told her, he often lost his keys. When Station 1 was close before bedtime, while Bellamy made his final round with Officer John Smith, since Clarke wasn't here anymore cause she had an appointment with the foster cares, which are working with the Prison.

All three of them came to the main spot and Lincoln looked up. Octavia started: “Lincoln, Smith and Ontari are planing something against Griffin. You have to do something!” Lincoln didn't understood a word and he was looking at Lexa, searching for help. She put her serious face on and said: “It’s true,” she looked around and said quieter now, that’s why Lincoln came closer to the lattice: “both of them want to get rid of Clar…Mrs Griffin. They made a plan. Tomorrow there will be a control of the changing room of the Officers, and Smith will deposite drugs in Clarke’s locker. You have to get them out there.” Lincoln was laughing shortly, because he couldn't trust his ears at the moment. Octavia hit the lattice, that’s why he was shocked shortly. Lincoln: “do you know what your talking about? You are suspecting an Officer. I don't know what to think about it.” Raven: “come on Keen. It’s not like you haven't thought about it also. Make sure they won't find anything.” 

Lincoln also thought about, that an Officer was coworking, if he was honest: “if you’re right, I have to tell her. But she'll show up late tomorrow , because she has late shift. I don’t have access to her locker.” Octavia smiled: “I’m sure you'll find a way babe. If you find it, make sure it finds the way back to the owner of the drugs. You know what I mean. And be careful that you fingerprints aren't anywhere on the package and the lockers.”

Lexa coughed loudly and signed that Bellamy and Smith were on their way back to them. Before Lincoln could answer something Bellamy said: “Ladies, please go into your cells, it’s time.” Lincoln was eyeing Smith. He didn't trust him either, because he was the Officer, Ontari has the most contact to. “good night to you, and thank you for informing me.” He said to them and winked at Octavia. Smith closed the cells. Bellamy came in and asked with furrowed brows: “what was that about?”

Lincoln looked over to Smith and said: “I'll tell you later. Make sure we'll end the shift after him.” Bellamy didn't asked more and Smith came back. He asked friendly: “what were they informing you about?” with a smile. Lincoln laughed and replied: “oh nothing, just the small talk to delay the cell entrapment.” Smith raised his chin up and forced a smile: “oh I see. If you don't need me anymore, I’ll go and change myself and end the working day.” Lincoln and Bellamy were saying their goodbyes and were alone until the Night Officers came. Lincoln informed Bellamy about the plan and both of them wanted to make sure, that nothing won't happen as they planned.

When they entered the changing rooms, they were all for themselves. Lincoln went into the locker room for the female Officers and searched for Clarkes. “how do you want to open it?” Bellamy asked, and looking around like a criminal. Lincoln was working on the lock and said quietly: “Let it be my worry.” The lock went open and he whistled : “It’s open. Let’s find out.” He opened the locker door to find… nothing but Clarke’s personal stuff. Bellamy looked at him: “I never knew you were good at opening locks without a key.” Lincoln closed the door again and turned the hair clipper to lock it. Lincoln: “It’s weird, they really were sure about it. I also don't trust Smith, Bellamy.”

Bellamy had a serious face and agreed to him. “I don't know, Linc. I mean, you've seen it yourself. There is nothing but her personal stuff. But don't get me wrong, I don't trust him either. I saw him often around Queen.” Lincoln nodded and said: “ok than, let’s change, it was a long day. By the way, do we have late shift together tomorrow with Clarke?” Bellamy said: “yep, the dream-threeam.” Both were laughing and changed into civil clothes. Lincoln couldn't forget the conversation. He asked: “do you know, in which shift Smith is working tomorrow?” Bellamy pulled his jacket over his shoulders. “um he said that he has a early shift tomorrow. Oh wait, do you think he'll do it tomorrow?” he asked with an unsure expression and lightly worry in his voice.

Lincoln breathed out loudly and shook his head: “I don't know, Bell.” With that they made their ways home and both were trying to get some sleep, which wasn’t easy for Lincoln. When he tried calling Clarke, he realised that her phone was off. He played the situation in his head over and over again. He decided that he’ll drive to the early shift tomorrow, and check out her locker again, just to be sure.

 

_**Next Morning** _

Lincoln drove to the Prison early in the morning, it was a short night. When he came into the changing rooms, Officer Smith came out off the female area. Lincoln looked at him with a serious expression. “Hey Lincoln, is everything ok? I just lost my purse, and wanted to look if it’s in here.” Lincoln just stood there and waited. He saw how nervous Smith was. “I… I have to go now, we will see later.”

Lincoln looked and waited until he left the corridor. “shit.” He whispered and went into the female changing room. He tried to open the lock but it wasn't as easy as yesterday. He turned the hair clipper to open the lock but it won't open. “come on…” he said quietly again. He don't know how many minutes past.

His radiophone made a noise and soon he heard the voice of Smith: _“Officer Smith to Mrs Sky? I found something in the changing room, you may take a look at and better bring colleagues to control the lockers . I may have find out the drug deliverer.”_ Lincoln got nervous. “shit come on, open!!!” there was a click and the door was open. He looked with horror in his eyes and saw 8 packages of white powder in Clarkes locker. He remembered Octavia : _If you find it, make sure it finds the way back to the owner of the drugs._ He nodded as if Octavia was seeing him right now. _Damnit the fingerprints._ He pulled out the gloves from his uniform, grabbed the packages and closed the door.

Someone radioed again, this time it was Mrs Sky: _“I'll be there in 5 minutes.”_ Lincoln sweated and went back into the male changing room. With shaking hands he tried to open Smith’s locker, it was easier as Clarkes, because no one tried to open it that often with a hair clipper before. He deposited the packages in his locker and closed the door, just in time, because he already heard the heels of Mrs Sky and a barking dog.

Lincoln pulled off his jacket and shirt again, thats why it looked like he was just changing into his uniform. He laid the gloves onto his locker and hoped, no one would care. He calmed himself down and concentrated on his breath. The door wasn't closed and he heard Smith saying: “I saw her yesterday when she gave something to Mrs Queen. I'm sure it were drugs.” Lincoln got angry when he heard it.

Mrs Sky hasn't answered to his suspicion, but said to another person: “please check the lockers with the dog.” Lincoln stepped out of the changing room and looked to Mrs Sky. “What is this about, Mrs Sky?” he asked as if he didn't know. She smiled at him: “oh it’s just a little inspection of the lockers, don't worry about it.” Smith looked uncomfortable and nervous. She also said: “by the way, what are you doing here? I'm sure you'll work in the late shift today with Griffin and Blake?” Lincoln raised his hand to his forehead: “oh dammit you're right. I guess I had the wrong day in my mind. But no problem, I’ll change back and enjoy my free time.”

He smiled politely. She nodded and before he was gone she said: “but wait a minute, we also want to check the male changing room, if there is something in your locker you can show us what’s in it.” Lincoln swallowed and nodded, he felt his mobile phone vibrating and took it out to see it was Clarke trying to call him back. He picked up and said: “Hey Clarke, I’ll call you back in a few minutes okay?” before he could hung up, Mrs Sky came to him and said: “the dog’s behaviour in front of Clarke’s locker is strange, ask her if she has a problem with it, if we take a look into her locker,please.”

Lincoln didn't have to repeat it, because Clarke already heard it. She said: “no of course I don't have a problem with that. Lincoln what is happening? Should I come to work?” Lincoln looked to Mrs Sky and said: “you can open it, she don't have a problem with it.” Becca smiled and went into the changing room again. He heard when they opened the lock and the door. “don't worry about it Clarke, I’ll tell you everything, you don't need to come here before your shift is starting. I’ll come to your place okay?”

Lincoln asked and Clarke replied: “ok. Call me when you’re here.” She said and they were saying their goodbyes. He looked to the door and saw two Officers, including Mrs Sky and Smith, who were controlling Clarkes locker. Smith said: “this can't be. I know she has something to do with drugs.” Lincoln said in a serious voice: “watch your tongue. You don't want to spread lies about an colleagues, right?” he asked in a provocating tone and saw that Smith became paler. He shook his head. “It’s clear. No drugs to be found.” Stated an Officer.

Mrs Sky: “I wasn't expecting anything different. Now let’s check out the male changing rooms, so Officer Keen is able to went home again.” When they stepped into the male changing room, the dog went crazy in front of Smith locker door, he jumped and barked endlessly . “who's locker is it, there is definitely something in it?” the Officer asked. Their eyes were on Officer Smith when he said: “it’s… my locker.” Mrs Sky's face became stoic. With a cold voice she commanded: “open it, now.” He went to the lock and opened it slowly. Lincoln just stood there with a satisfied smile. The Officers gabbed the packages and handed them Becca.

Afterwards he rewarded the dog for a successful search. “Mrs Sky it’s not…” Smith started defending himself, but Mrs Sky just said: “I don't want to hear it. You are under arrest for drug smuggling. Your problem with Mrs Griffin, is non of my business, but be sure, I’ll encouraging her that she'll tell the Police Officers about the wrong suspicion. I'll send you your files plus the notice of withdrawl.”

She looked to Lincoln: “have a good time before your shift starts, we'll meet later at a meeting.” She turned around and left the changing room area. Lincoln nodded and smiled at Smith, when the Officers were handcuffing him. Then he was gone, led away by the Officers. Lincoln changed back, left the Prison and drove immediately to Clarke and told her about everything. She just couldn't believe what he was telling her and was glad for Lincoln’s help. “Without you I wouldn’t be able to work in Mount Weather anymore. Thank you Linc.”

She said and hugged him tightly. Lincoln hugged her back and said: “I wouldn't have done it without Lexa, Raven and Octavia. They informed me, without them I wouldn’t know anything about it.” It made Clarke emotional, when she thought about the fact, that they broke their Number 1 rule, to keep her safe and to make sure, she could continue her job as an Officer. When they arrived work, they met with Bellamy and told him about it and Mrs Sky called for an emergency meeting and informed all the Officers about the event from the morning.

All were shocked, they never thought it would have been one if their own. When Mrs Sky finished the meeting she said: “Mrs Griffin? I have to talk with you for a minute.” Clarke stayed and waited. “firstly, I’m sorry for opening your locker, I’ll organise a craftsman to repair it as soon as I can.” Clarke just smiled at her and was about to respond something, but Becca continues: “why I wanted to talk to you is: the hospital called. Mrs Woods sister just brought into the hospital. I organised a secured execution, and I want you to secure her. The hospital worker weren’t able to reach her adoptive parents that’s why they called us, as Woods is blood-related to her.”

Clarke was worried, even though she didn't know what exactly happened. “oh god is she alright? I… have to tell Lex… Mrs Woods about it.” Mrs Sky nodded and said calmly: “as far as I know she's okay. Talk to Mrs Woods and bring her to me, and I’ll tell her everything. Afterwards you'll drive her to the hospital and keep an eye on her.” Clarke felt sick in her stomach. _Me? All alone with Lexa??_ She was overwhelmed, but made her way to inform Lexa…

 

_**Tbc…** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will the secured execution turn out for Lexa and Clarke? Being around each other without Officers and the prison rules?
> 
> Will Ontari get her revenge?


	6. Reunion Day/ Secured execution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion Day 
> 
> Finally Lexa is able to see Madi. and someone she and Clarke didn't wanted to see. 
> 
> The whole secured execution will reveal new informations for both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :)  
> As always, thank you for reading and leaving kudos on the previous chapters! :)  
> Have fun with chapter 6!

_**In the Common Room** _

The rumours already reached the women, that Officer Smith got arrested for drug smuggling. Ontari was raging because she knew she had a traitor in her own clan. Everyone was eating their meal, as Ontari rushed through the doors with furious eyes. She went straight to Echo, grabbed the back of her head and pushed her down to the table. “I know that you are the one who betrayed me…” she hissed angryly. Echo, with fear in her body: “Ontari please I…” but Lexa intervened, by asking in a loud but calm voice. “what is this all about Ontari?” Ontari looked up but continued to held Echo down to the table.

She snorted: “we have a traitor. She broke our number one rule, to not to work with Officers. She needs to learn the rules with an Iceclan treatment.” Everyone was silent and looked to one woman in the background of Iceclan, with a burned ‘T' on her forehead, who looked down to the floor. Echo had tears in her eyes, as she knew she will also get a burned 'T'. 'T' for traitor. “I informed the Officers about your little plan.” Said Lexa and looked into Ontari's eyes. Everyone started murmuring words, Ontari let go of Echo and stormed to Lexa with furious eyes. “YOU?! YOU BROKE YOUR OWN RULE? WHAT KIND OF LEADER ARE YOU?!”

Trikru members stood up and were ready to defense Lexa, but she raised her hand and everybody waited. “It’s also a rule to not to get rid of Officers, just because they try to get the station free from drugs. Which is, by the way, the next rule you broke. 3 people had to go to the hospital because of the shit your selling. 2 of your own Clan.” Ontari shrugged her shoulders and said aggressively: “It’s none of my business, if those junkies aren't able to stop right in time. Plus it’s not the topic at the moment. Echo told you my plan, she became rebellious against my orders, since Griffin started her little psycho project, to brainwash all of us for a better and harmonic living together.”

She spoke in a flash, and hadn't finished yet, because she mimicked Clarke: “don't matter which Clan you belong to, you are just women who are working together… overcome your clan issues. My ass!!” she came closer and said dangerously quiet: “I don't get why YOU were breaking the rule in the first place. Just to save Griffin? Do you have a weak spot for her?” She asked with a provocating smile on her face. She just can't show, that she is caring for Clarke. Especially not to Ontari. “Enough Ontari. I don't care about Griffin, but it was about time, that someone ended your drugstore. And be aware of what I say next: You'll leave Echo alone, she hasn't betrayed you…”

Echo looked to her with relieved eyes and let out the breath she was holding in. Lexa continued: “you better watch out to your drug friends, they were talking about your plan when they were high.” She stepped closer and quieter now: “be sure, when Echo will get hurt, even when she’s ‘accidentally’ slipping in the bathroom- I might think that you're responsible for it. And you don't want to find out what I’ll do in that case.” Ontari started laughed: “Oh of course I want to know it. Because you can't do anything , since she's a member of my own Clan.” Lexa in a stoic face: “you better not testing me Ontari.” Before Ontari could respond anything, Bellamy clapped his hands and said: “ok Ladies, the show is done for today,” he came closer: “Ontari Queen? You'll be arrested until Officer Smith made his statement at the trial. He already told the Police Officers, that you were working together. Until you get to see your lawyer, you'll get time to think about everything in isolation.”

With that Bellamy took her arms behind her back and handcuffed her. Clarke and Ontari were eyeing each other while Ontari was guided by Bellamy out of the common room. Everyone sat down again and continued like nothing happened. Echo stood up and came to Lexa, still with relieved eyes: “thank you so much Lexa.” Lexa just nooded shortly. “but still be careful. No one should see us together, we are quit now.” Echo smiled slightly and went back to her chair. Her Clanmembers were eyeing her waryly, but she felt better, now that Ontari was gone for a while now.

Octavia: “wow, finally the station will be calmer now.” Lexa just looked to her, without answering. Octavia asked: “Hey, what’s wrong?” Raven also looked curious and was waiting for her answer. Lexa sighed and said: “I’m so tired of the little power games between Ontari and me. I just want to live my life in peace, without constantly empowering eachother.” Octavia didn't understood a word, she came closer: “Lex. It’s not your fault. She's always the one who's doing some forbidden stuff, someone has to show her, that everything she does has a consequence.”

Lexa just continued to stare down on her food. Raven intervened: “Hey, don’t forget that she robbed a bank on purpose, just to get imprisoned to take revenge on you for her mother. She tried to kill you Lexa! Several times! You can't be serious right now.” Lexa looked straight into Ravens eyes and replied: “exactly, she wants to take revenge for her mother, which I killed.” Before she could continue, Raven cut into her sentence: “by accident, Lex. We didn't plan to kill her.” Lexa blinked and said: “I'm not sure about it. I mean we organised a weapon. And to be honest I felt relieved when it happened.”

Octavia shook her head and said: “I’ll never understand that you took the main punishment without testifying. Because it WAS an accident. You could get out in a few years.” Lexa just shook her head. When she looked up again, Clarke stood at the table beside her and looked slightly uncomfortable. “Mrs Woods? I need to speak with you in private.” Lexa just let her head sink into her hands, it was to much for her. Raven looked to Clarke and winked. “Glad you're still here Griffin.”

Octavia: “I sign that!” she said as she continued to eat her meal. “Thank you guys.” Said Clarke and smiled sincerely. Both of them returned the smile and Clarke said: “It’s important. Mrs Sky needs to speak with you.” Lexa heard the importance in her voice and stood up. “Ok then let’s go.” Both of them were walking down the hallway, without saying word. Close before they arrived the Office: “do you know what this is about?”

Lexa asked eventually and sensed that Clarke was nervous. “um… it’s about Madi, but I don't know what exactly , but Mrs Sky will tell you more.” Lexa became paler, when they arrived the Office. Clarke knocked, looked inside and asked: “Mrs Woods is here. Shall we come in?” it felt strange to use the ‘we' again. Becca smiled: “Sure.” Both stepped into Beccas Office and Lexa sat down. Clarke stood in the background with a stiffed body language. “What about Madi? What happened??” asked Lexa with a worried voice.

Her heart hammered against her chest. Becca informed: “she was brought to the hospital, because she was unconscious and had stomach pain and a fever before. She had an inflamed cecum, but the doctors operated her in time and the operation went well. So don't worry about it.” Lexa heartbeat became slower again after hearing she's okay. She blinked and asked: “can I call her? Please Mrs Sky, I have to hear it myself that she's okay.” Mrs Sky smiled and said: “of course you can ensure yourself. I already signed the papers for an secured execution.”

Lexa was positively shocked, she didn't even thought that Mrs Sky would allow it with her legal sentence. She was watching her with unbelievable eyes: “are you sure?? I mean…” Becca nooded: “I’m sure. You have an exemplary behaviour here in prison, plus the hospital workers aren't able to reach her adoptive parents. So I guess it’s good for her to see you after the operation, and the other way around. Now go, before I change my mind.”

Lexa was smiling brightly: “thank you so much, Mrs Sky! I don't know what to say.” Mrs Sky looked to Clarke: “Officer Griffin will drive you to the hospital.” Lexa swallowed and looked to Clarke who had an indifferent facial expression. She stepped closer and said: “Yeah, ok let’s go then. I'm gonna make sure that you won't run away.” She said jokingly, because she absolutely didn't know how to deal with Lexa when Mrs Sky was around. Lexa stood up and left the room, with Clarke following her.

 

_**In the Car** _

Clarke started the car and drove from the prison yard with fast wheels, that’s why Lexa looked for something to grab to stabilize her sitting position. But the handcuffs which Clarke gave her made it harder to grab something. The situation between Clarke and Lexa wasn't good at all. “Clarke why do you have to do the execution?” Clarke looked to her with knitted eyebrows: “what do you mean? Do you think I’ll do it on purpose? It’s an offer from my boss.” She stepped on the brake aggressively at a red traffic light.

Lexa was nervous, grabbed the handle and said fearfully: “Clarke, could you please drive a little bit calmer? I know you hate me, but killing us both with your driving manner won't make it better.” Clarke breathed out annoyed. She hated driving, especially with someone beside her. She stepped onto the gas pedal to continue the drive without answering. After a while of driving and nearly 5 accidents, she heard Lexa whimpering and whispering words of fear all the time. She looked to a scared Lexa and said: “Lexa!! Can you just stop whimpering? I am able to drive a car, I have a license.”

Lexa was eyeing her suspiciously: “are you sure about it? You're driving like you're playing the racing game which we played back then. Plus I don't whimper!” Clarke rolled her eyes and focussed on the street and thought: _of course she's referring to that time._ Clarke tried to calm herself, she really didn't want to fight as long as they didn't know Madi is alright. She heard Lexa heavy breathing but she stopped whimpering as Clarke wished. After a while, Clarke stated : “I don't hate you.” Lexa looked to her but didn't know what to say. Clarke didn’t dare to look to Lexa so she’s holding the steering wheel tightly and continue to stare on the cars in front of her.

She took a deep breath and said: “that doesn't mean that I’ll forgive you either. I thought about it so often, but the sad thing is: I don't think I would have decided differently. But it doesn't ease the pain, you know?” Lexa looked down to her hands and closed her eyes. She understood. But hearing the tone in Clarke’s voice troubled her. She just sighed and she knew Clarke had to speak it out loud at least one time. Clarke knew it wasn't the right time to speak about those kind of things. Everytime she's alone with Lexa, she just couldn't help it. It was important to her to say one more thing. “But… Lincoln told me about your mission against Ontari and Smith. Thank you for backing me.” With that she parked the car in front of the hospital and looked to Lexa. Lexa looked directly into her eyes, nodded shortly and replied: “no problem.”

There was a different tension in the car now, not aggressive like it was in the beginning, more melancholic. It was like they were communicating with each other through their eyes. And both of them seemed to find again what both lost years ago.

Lexa was the one who broke the eye contact and said: “I need to see Madi now.” Clarke nooded and stepped out of the car. She came around to the passenger door to let Lexa out. When Lexa stood in front of her, Clarke looked down to Lexa's handcuffed hands and groaned: “give me your hands, I’ll take off the handcuffs.” Lexa wasn’t sure: “are you sure Clarke? You might get into trouble.” Clarke shook her head and responded: “who is gonna tell anyone?” with that she already took them off and completed her sentence: “plus, I know you won't runaway.” She was sure about it and just wanted to make sure that Madi won’t see Lexa with handcuffs. A little smile escaped Lexa’s lips: “thank you.” Clarke couldn't help herself, but returned the smile briefly.

Both of them went into the hospital. Lexa didn't know how to find Madi, that’s why she went to the information spot and asked for Madi's room number. Both were heading to the room, as they heard a voice behind them: “Clarke?!” someone asked. Clarke just stood still without turning around, Lexa saw that she was rolling her eyes and her body stiffened. She heard footsteps coming closer and someone grabbed Clarke by her shoulder to turn her around. “Clarke, Sweety why aren't you returning my calls? Is everything alright? What are you doing here?” _Oh god please not Clarke's mother,_ was the only thing Lexa thought.

Clarke looked at her with a cold face and spoke with an unwelcoming voice. “I have much to do, don't worry everything is fine.” Lexa heard Abby snorting: “oh I see , so there is no spot in your timetable for a family dinner? You could invite Finn, maybe both of you will get together again.” Lexa looked fastly to Clarke to her, which Clarke noticed. Clarke with a strong voice, nothing compared to the way she spoke to her when they were teens, Lexa could tell. “Mother? Firstly: Finn and me were never a thing, secondly: it’s non of your business, thirdly NO ONE would love to be together with me after a dinner with you. and last but not least I’m here because of work.”

Lexa turned around now and Abby looked like she had seen a ghost: “Lexa? Lexa Woods?” she asked with big and unbelievable eyes. “So we met again Ms Griffin. If you'll excuse us? I need to see my sister.” With that both turned around on their heels and went down the corridor. Clarke always admired Lexa for her self-control. After Lexa told Clarke about what Abby did in the past, she felt that angry and betrayed from her own mother, that she couldn't bring herself to overcome the anger.

Lexa took a deep breath, when they stood in front of Madi's room. She raised her hand to knock, and with a little hesitation she did. She looked to Clarke, who smiled at her genuinely, when she heard a small “Come in!”. As Lexa opened the door, she saw Madi, sitting at the edge of the bed. Madi with unbelievable voice: “Lexa??? Oh my god come here.” Lexa rushed inside and hugged a crying Madi tightly now. Clarke stood in the doorway and smiled, because it warmed her heart to see both of them happy and relieved.

Clarke and Madi hadn't seen each other in ages now, but she looked so much like Lexa.The same haircolor, her eye colour is slightly different from Lexa's, cause Madi has a mix of blue and green eyes, Madi even braided her hair like Lexa. She heard Lexa's trembling voice: “shh don't cry baby, I’m here.” Lexa caressed Madi's hair and hold her in place a few moments longer. When they let go of each other: “Madi I was so worried. Are you in pain?” she just looked at Lexa and shook her head, still can't believe her eyes that Lexa is right in front of her: “not anymore. I wanted to see the doctor after my exam, but yeah here I am now.”

She laughed, but hold her stomach because of the muscle tension. Lexa laughed in disbelieve and wiped her forehead with her hand: “I told you to take care of yourself. You're so stubborn Madz.” Told Lexa and Clarke thought: _yeah but she isn't the only stubborn in the Woods family._ When Madi looked up to Clarke , she said: “Clarke?” Clarke was surprised that Madi's still remembering her after all these years. Clarke smiled and came a few steps closer: “Yeah it’s me Madi. Good to see you again and well.” Madi looked from Lexa to Clarke and back lost for words. Lexa: “Yeah today is a reunion day. What about your Will and Cassandra? They told me , they were nowhere to be reached, that’s why they allowed me to come and visit you.”

Clarke noticed that Madi looked uncomfortable: “ I guess they are on business holidays. But I’m so happy they are, because either way you wouldn't be here.” Lexa smiled and asked: “so you passed out before your exam? Should I call your professor and explain the situation? So you can get a test rehearsal soon??” Lexa asked so many questions at the time and Madi just shook her head and smiled: “No worries, I already called him,” she told up her phone, “they realised that this was an emergency and I just have to show them the hospital papers in return, to get the test rehearsal soon. They better hurry, I can't wait to get you out of there.”

Lexa smiled sadly and Clarke listened curiously. Lexa played with the cover and replied: “It’s not that easy, you know? The most important thing is that you'll get well soon and don't stress yourself. And afterwards we'll work out everything else.” She caressed Madis cheek. Clarke watched them and was stunned, how soft and caring Lexa is around Madi, it reminds her of old times when both, Clarke and Lexa took care for Madi. Before she could stuck in the past and it become to much, Clarke intervened: “okay you know what? I'll wait outside the door and let you two catch up some time. Lex…” Both were looking to her because she used her nickname again. She coughed and continued: “sorry, Lexa? We need to get back in around an hour, keep it in mind.”

Lexa nooded and focused on Madi again, who smiled at Clarke sincerely. Clarke returned the smile and exited the door. When she was outside she took a deep breath, because everything today was like an alternative universe to the real situation. Her phone vibrated in here pocket and she had several messages of Lincoln and Bellamy, which asked how the execution was doing and if she was alright. And she felt alright. At least she needed to try to have a stable and professional relationship with Lexa in prison. Nothing more, nothing less. If she would be honest, she felt good to have Lexa around again, but she wouldn't admit it. She didn't know how much time passed until she heard a “Clarke?”.

She was lost in her thoughts until Abby brought her back to reality. She felt abruptly angry again. “What do you want?” Abby stood there in her medical clothes and showed to Madi's door: “what is this all about? What do you have to do with Lexa again? hasn't she hurt you enough?” as she said it Clarke stepped closer with much built up rage in her stomach. _How dare she pretend it was all Lexa’s fault what happened back than?!_ Sadly she can't drama here in hospital, that’s why she said with gritted teeth: “I told you, I’m doing my job…”

Abby snorted: “Yeah you told me. So you wanna tell me that Lexa is a prisoner now or what?” Clarke didn't gave her an answer and Abbys look changed now. “She… she's a prisoner?” She asked again shocked. She never thought that Lexa would end up in Prison one day. “I… I didn't knew.” She stated sympathetic. Clarke quieter now: “it’s none of your business and don't act like you feel sorry for her. You never cared about her… or me.” Abby raised her voice, since she felt caught: “that's not true Clarke, you know…” Lexa opened the door and both of them were looking at her with surprised big eyes. Lexa knew that both of them were in a heated conversation right now, but she looked to Clarke who looked troubled. She was eying Abby carefully: “is everything alright here?” Abby blinked her eyes but didn't respond. Clarke in a strong voice: “everything is okay.”

She looked to the ground, because she was aware that Lexa knew she was lying. Lexa didn't wanted to make Clarke more uncomfortable that’s why she said: “okay, we have to go back now, or we'll be late.” Clarke looked to her clock: “You're right. Than let’s go.” Without sharing Abby a single word she wanted to go, until she heard a “Clarke?” inside Madis room. Clarke looked to Lexa, who was smiling and watched inside. Madi was waving her and said: “Goodbye, it was good to finally see you again. Watch out that my sister won't get into trouble until I passed my exam, please!” it warms Clarkes heart.

Lexa rolled her eyes playfully and Clarke said: “I'm sure she can take care for herself, but I'll keep an eye on. It was good to see you too Madi. Be careful and good luck for your exam.” She waved a final time and closed the door. Abby, Clarke and Lexa stood in front of the door and everyone felt uncomfortable. Clarke was the first one who spoke: “Ok let’s go.” Lexa looked between Abby and Clarke, but she knew Clarke was stubborn. She sighed: “ok. Have a good day Ms Griffin.” She said politely and Clarke turned around to go with saying goodbye. Abby unsure: “Thank you Lexa. You too.”

Lexa followed Clarke with fast steps, because Clarke nearly ran. When they were outside Clarke realised she was holding her breath. She stood still and took a shaky and irritated breath. Lexa stood right beside her and touched her shoulder gently. “Clarke are you alright?” she asked worried. Clarke looked to Lexa’s hand and felt calmer again. But she needed to remind herself that she's still angry at Lexa. But the last few hours were an emotional rollercoaster for Clarke.

She nodded: “I’m fine. Let’s go. Plus I have to handcuff you again.” Clarke said, back to Officer modus. When they arrived the car, Lexa showed her her hands and Clarke handcuffed her again. Clarkes driving behaviour was calmer than the former trip. They drove back in silence until Lexa asked: “who is this Finn your mother talked about? Is he your ex boyfriend?” she couldn't help it, but she needed to know. Clarkes grab on the steering wheel became tighter.

“Finn is one of the guys my mother like to have as her son-in-law. We met a few times and he was nice and everything. But it doesn't felt right.” She paused shortly and focused on the street. “when I celebrated my 21th birthday, everyone was drunk but he embarrassed me with his behaviour. And than I quited it finally, even when my mother wasn't happy about it.” Lexa looked to her and asked: “what has he done to embarrass you? It looked like a good party at all.”

Clarke laughed shortly and didn't catch what Lexa just said: “he acted like I was his personal property and like he would own me. He was jealous and started to attack a good friend of mine. It just didn't felt right. With nobody since you were gone.” Lexa looked to her hands, played with the handcuffs and felt uncomfortable. Both fell into silence again until Clarke asked: “what about you and your love life after me?” she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know.

Lexa thought about Costia, but she wasn't in the mood to remember everything again: “it’s complicated.” Clarke looked to Lexa and saw that she was struggling. Clarke asked further: “What does Madi meant back in the hospital? Why does she wants to fight against your judgment?” Lexa sighed and looked out of the window. She saw the stressed driving cars, people who are in hurry, but she also saw freedom.

“I didn't shot her on purpose… it was an accident. The shot broke loose while fighting. I never told it to the judge and my lawyer didn't care.” Clarke couldn't believe her: “Lexa are you serious right now? It could change the whole process. You could be free after a few years!” Lexa didn't answer anything, she just stared through the window. “Lexa are you listening? This is a chance for you! We have to do something.” Lexa looked to her abruptly. “WE won't do anything. I don't want it. I killed someone. It’s none of your business.”

Clarke was clenching her teeth. _How the hell can someone be so stubborn._ “What about Madi? She needs you. She needs her sister outside! You'll miss her whole life Lexa!” answered Clarke and Lexa became quietly,deep in her thoughts. “as I said. It’s none of your business.” Clarke just shook her head and they finally arrived the prison yard again. Right in time. Clarke realised something and looked to her with furrowed brows. “Wait, how do you know my 21th birthday looked like a good party?” before Lexa could answer, an Officer came and opened the passenger door to take Lexa out. Lexa smiled at her and said: “don't worry about it, it doesn't matter now.”

With that, the Officer grabbed Lexa and guided her to the Main building. Clarke just stood there and watched her go. Still thinking about what Lexa meant. She closed the car and went back to Station 1, where she was welcomed from Bellamy and Lincoln. “was everything okay? You’re looking troubled.” Bellamy asked. Clarke: “everything is fine. How is the station after Ontari is in isolation?” she asked back. Lincoln: “the station is quiet. Nothing happened, the women are fine for now.” _Finally…_ was Clarkes thought.

She looked over the Station, but Lexa was nowhere to be found. She saw Raven and Octavia who slipped into Lexa’s cell, that’s why she was sure that Lexa was in her cell. “GET READY LADIES, IT’S BEDTIME. PLEASE FIND YOUR CELLROOMS!” Lincoln shouted in a loud voice. “I'll go and close the cell doors. Be back in a few.” He said and stood up. Bellamy asked: “You wanna drink a beer with us after work? Catch up a little? I'm sure today was different than the other days right?” Clarke closed her eyes and answered: “That would be cool yeah. I spend a round.” She felt much lighter now that Bellamy and Lincoln knew about Clarke and Lexas past. She thought to go to Lexa's cell and ask her what she meant, but she decided that it was enough input for today. That’s why they waited for the colleagues of the night shift and enjoyed their evening in their favourite bar.

What a day…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a day...  
> will Lexa stuck on her guiltiness or will she overcome herself and let Madi help?  
> Will Clarke find out what Lexa hinted in the car?


	7. Buried emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Jake have dinner together until a guest showed up and destroyed their evening badly. But there was one good thing: Clarke was finally able to let out some buried emotions.
> 
> Lexa is having a hard time, and struggling with herself, but Clarke just don't want to leave her alone.   
> Both sharing an intense moment together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me some time to write this chapter, because of a small creative blockade, but I finished it today :)   
> Thank you for leaving kudos on the previous chapters! :)  
> Have fun on reading chapter 7! :)

The last days were much easier for Clarke and Lexa, after their execution together. But still Clarke wasn't able to got go knew what Lexa meant, back in the car. She had a day off today and was glad to have time for her own. Her mother is getting on her nerves slowly by calling her every day. At first she refused to pick up the phone, but when she does she told her several times that she didn't want to talk about it when Abby asked her about Lexa. She just made sure that Madi was alright.

After sleeping long this day she woke up close before midday, she continued to lay in the bed and checked up her phone. Her mother, as always tried to call her. She just didn’t wanted to talk to her, not after everything she had done. Her phone vibrated one more time and she got a notification that her dad also called her. Since Abby and Jake were separated, she spent more time with him as before.

She dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. “ _Hello sweetheart.”_ Spoke Jake into the phone. Clarke started smiling immediately by hearing his voice and replied: “ _Hey dad. How are you doing?_ ” she asked, stood up and walked to her wardrobe, searching for clothes to pick on. _“I’m fine, how about you? How is your new job? Are you still happy about it?”_ he asked and Clarke hesitated. _“hm I’m good so far. I met mum. She wanted to force me into a family dinner. Do you know something about it?”_ Jake on the other side of the line: “ _Yeah she also invited me. But I told her many times before, that there is no point of return of our divorce. But I guess, she just can't let go of everything.”_ Clarke nodded when he spoke: _“I guess you're right. But I have to ask you something. And I need you to be honest, it’s important for me okay?”_ she stated and was nervous upon the upcoming question.

Jake with a serious voice: _“Sure. Just ask me.”_ Clarke took a deep breath and began: “ _I… met Lexa. Do you remember her? She was a former… friend of mine and now she's an inmate at my station and she told me something._ ” Jake: “ _Of course I remember Lexa, I’m sorry to hear about it. Is she alright? What happened?_ ” he asked curiously and worried at the same time and Clarke became more and more nervous. Jake always had a big heart and back in times she knew that he absolutely adored Lexa. Especially talking about politics with her. Clarke: “ _she messed up big time, but I can't say more for now. We'll catch up when we have dinner okay?_ ” Jake: “ _I understand. What exactly do you wanted to ask me?”_ Clarke calmed herself, took a deep breath. The next answer will decide if she'll also lose her dad or not. _“Lexa told me that mum made her leave the city. Because she wanted her to stay away from me. Did you knew about that?_ ” Clarke hold her breath and waited for his respond.

After a while, he said: “ _I didn't knew from the beginning. She told me a few years later. I couldn't understand how she could have done this. We had a big fight and this was the start for me , that she isn't the person I felt in love with anymore. I… I'm so sorry Clarke. I know she was your best friend. And I’m sorry, that I wasn't there for you.”_ Clarke swallowed hard. She wasn't mad at him, because she believed him. She decided that she'll be honest with him now. With a raspy voice she responded: “ _Lexa… she wasn't just a friend. She was my girlfriend. And I loved her. She saved me from myself and I was so heartbroken when she left me you wouldn't believe. I knew it’s nothing mum would support, that’s why I was afraid to tell you. Please don't judge me…”_ she rambled and her voice became shakier. She was afraid.

But Jake just replied in a calming voice. “Sweetheart. We live in the 20th century, there is no way I would judge you because of your feelings. The most important thing for me is that you're happy and it doesn't matter if you're with a man or a woman.” Clarke smiled and was relieved. Jake continued: “by the way, I’m aware that you two weren't just friends. The only time I saw you that happy was with Lexa. I'm just sorry I couldn’t be there for you, when you needed me.” Clarke smiled and closed her eyes. “Thank you dad, you don't know how much it means to me. And don't worry, you don't have to feel sorry about it. Do you want to have dinner with me today? I have my day off, that's why I’m free.” She looked around her flat and said: “I could come over and cook something for both of us.”

Jake laughed: “oh I see, I guess you don't want to clean the dishes right? Just come to my place and we order something?” Clarke was more than happy with that, because she didn't wanted to cook either. “good Idea. I'll come to your place later. I'll send you a message. See you soon, love you.” Jake: “I’m glad, see you later!” with that she hung up the phone and went to the shower. It felt so good, that her dad reacted that way, because she always was afraid how her parents would react, that’s why Clarke and Lexa had a hidden relationship. When she finished showering, she went to the couch and laid down again. The weather was pretty shitty today, that’s why she was so tired and wanted to stay in bed all day. Since she missed to pay the bill for television, she wasn't able to watch TV either. She turned the radio on and she couldn't stop herself to think about Lexa and how everything turned out. She remembered the very first time they met.

 

_**Flashback**_  

_Clarke locked herself into a toilet cabin and let the tears fall freely down her herself. She was afraid to go home, after she got a D- in physic. She knew her mother will definitely be pissed and she'll probably get house arrest again, so she'll have enough time to study for physic, until she memorized every formula of the book. She just had enough of all the pressure her mum putted on her. She wasn't bad in school, but she had a few escapades now and then. In her mother opinion Clarke should step into her footsteps and become a doctor, that’s why it’s so important to have perfect grades in school, especially in science. A sob escaped her and she raised her hands to her mouth to silence herself. There was a knock at the door. “excuse me? Is everything alright in there?” asked a soft voice. Clarke closed her eyes and tried to swallow the knot in her throat, which made it harder to speak and answered with a shaky voice: “it’s alright. Go away please.”_

_The person on the other side of the door, with a peaceful voice: “I'm sorry but I can't do that. You're clearly not alright.” Clarke inside the cabin rolled her eyes and sighed: “it’s none of your business. Leave me alone.” The other person, sounded defeated: “I’m sorry I didn't mean to bother you. I'll go away. Have a nice day.” Clarke heard footsteps and the door opened and closed again. She waited some seconds longer until she opened the door of the cabin. She saw a person in the mirror and rolled her eyes. “I told you to go away.” The person came closer with an unimpressive facial expression. “It’s a public restroom. I don’t think your able to decide if I have to go or stay.” Clarke was just eyeing her through the mirror, without answering. “why are you crying?” she asked directly._

_Something about the strangers voice made her calm down, but she just wanted to be for her own. Clarke snorted and said: “it’s none of your business. You would laugh anyway if I would tell you.” She turned around to look into her eyes shortly. She wasn't able to hold the look, because she was ashamed of herself for crying in a public restroom in school. “Try it. I promise I won’t laugh. It must been something serious when you're crying.” The person said in response. Clarke laughed shortly and wiped her forehead, she just couldn't believe that she's talking with a stranger about her problems. But something was different about her. She never saw eyes like that before._

_Her eyes were mesmerizing her, that’s why she didn’t had a chance to not trust her. “I got a D- in physics. And I don't want to go home, because I’m afraid that my mother will freak out about it.” The other woman frowned and instead of speaking about Clarkes mum she asked slightly confused: “how do you get a D-?? I mean it’s physic? It’s an easy school subject.” Clarke watched her with disbelieving eyes and laughed: “are you serious right now? You were listening to my problem right? It’s not about physic, it’s about my mum.” With an annoyed voice, Clarke asked: “who are you anyway? Don't you have anything better to do than instructing strangers?” The person smiled shortly and answered: “I’m Lexa. Lexa Woods. You're Clarke if I'm not wrong?”_

_Clarke frowned: “how do you know? Are you kind of a stalker or something?” she asked insecurely. A little smile played Lexas lips: “I thought you might be the person, the people on the hallway are searching.” Clarke looked to her clock: “shit I’m running late. Forget what you saw, I just had weak moment. Don't tell anyone okay? Please. I'm already a loser because of the D-.” Lexa didn't understand, but Clarke continued her way to the door in a rush. “I could help you, you know?” Lexa stated before Clarke was gone. She stood still and turned about to watch her. “and how do you want to help me? You don't even know me. And I don't know you.” Lexa stepped closer and held her hand to Clarke with a smile: “You're right, but we could get know each other. Give me your phone, I’ll type in my number. So you're free to text me whenever you want to. I could give you private tutoring in physic. Or general science.” Clarke hesitated but something inside her, made her pull out her phone and asked: “why are you so eager to help me?” Lexa grabbed her phone and saved her number in Clarkes contacts before Clarke could complain._

_Afterwards Lexa said: “because I don't understand how people are hating and don't understand physics. It’s one of the best school subjects. And I want to help you to fall in love with science.” Clarke snorted and shook her head. “You're a dork Lexa. But still: thank you. I'll come back to your offer eventually. I need to go now,bye.” With that she turned around fast and headed to the door to her next lesson. From this moment, Lexa was often in her mind. She fascinated her, but Clarke wouldn't admit. But she definitely needed to know more about her. And little does she knew that Lexa would fail with her plan to make Clarke fall in love with science. She made her fall in love with her._

**_Flashback end_ **

 

Clarke smiled when she remembered that time. Memories were the only thing, what she had left and Abby wasn't able to take away from her. The Memories of happy times. By remembering these, it became much harder for her to keep the distance to Lexa, especially since Lexa is more open to her, now that Ontari was in isolation. She just shook her head, because she didn't wanted to feel that way, putted on her clothes and get ready to do groceries. 

**Later the day**

She rang the doorbell at her dad’s place, he opened and hugged her tightly. “Come in sweetheart.” He said and Clarke went inside. Her dad had a small flat as opposed to their house when he lived together with Abby. But he didn't care. He don't need much space to be happy. They ordered some pizza and waited. Meanwhile she told him everything about Lexa and Jake was so caring. She also told him, that Lexa didn't plan to kill Nia and he said: “But this would mean that she could come out of prison right?” Clarke nodded: “Exactly , but she won't do a retrial. I just don't understand her, dad.” Jake sensed how much Clarke is bothered from Lexa. That’s why he asked: “Sweety? Are you done with Lexa? I mean I know you’re a good Officer but aren’t you a little bit over committed?” Clarke felt caught. “I… dunno to be honest. I just feel sorry for her. She don't deserve to be in prison for Life, for something she didn’t do on purpose. She is the purest person I know. She cared for everyone.”

Jake smiled knowingly. “you still care about her right?” Clarke looked down on the table and respond: “I hated her so long for what she did. But when she told me the circumstances I felt different. She wanted the best for Madi and me. I always ask myself how my life would have been, when we stayed together and what have been different if I earlier had the balls to tell the truth about our relationship.” Jake nodded, he understood totally. He felt sorry for them, because he wasn't able to help and ensure them. The doorbell rang Clarke was glad for the interruption. She stood up fastly and said: “I got it, finally something to eat.” And went to the door.

She opened it and Clarkes face fell, right in front of her stood Abby, with disbelieving eyes. Behind her the pizza delivery. “Oh god please…” Abby stormed inside and Clarke wished she wasn't glad about the interruption before. She paid for the pizza and thanked the deliverer. She closed the door in a hurry and went after her, Abby and Jake were already fighting. Jake: “what are you doing here? I didn't invited you.” Abby looked from Clarke to Jake and back: “oh I see, you two are tricking me? Working together against me? That’s why none of you picked up the phone. I can't believe you are betraying me that much.” Clarke just snorted but couldn't say anything. Jake: “I don't pick up the phone because you are clingy since I signed the divorce papers.” Abby: “yeah because you're not clear in your mind. I know you don't want a divorce! Look around you! This small flat. You can't be happy with that.”

Jake just laughed, she haven’t understood anything at all. “See, this is why I want a divorce. The most important thing for you is money. Nothing else. You just care about reputation, and you didn't gave a damn about me or Clarke in the past years.” Abby was shocked: “you can't be serious right now! I worked hard for our prestige! Of course I had to cut some things And made decisions for what is the best for the family! But I made everything for our perfect life!”

this time, Clarke intervened, because she was so angry. “PERFECT LIFE?! Look how you perfect life turned out now! You have nothing left except for your money. Was it worth it? You ruined my Life!” it felt good to speak it out loud finally. Abby became nervous and asked: “what do you mean by that? I gave you the chance to become a doctor! I invested a huge amount of money in your future! I also tried to search you a good guy because you weren't capable of your own lovelife! And you are telling me that I ruined you life?!” Jake just couldn't believe his ears and shook his head in disbelieve. He felt more and more sorry for Clarke, because there were so many incidents he didn't knew about. He was always away because of work, but also because he fled from Abby. Clarke stepped closer and spoke in a quiet voice. She had tears of anger in her eyes: “and when was the one time, you asked me if I wanted everything you did? You never asked me. You always made decisions for me. Lexa informed me of what you did. I was happy with Lexa. She made me feel special and loved! She gave me the feeling that I was enough! A feeling that you couldn't give me one damn time. And you took everything away from me! I'll never forgive you that.”

Jakes heart broke, when he realised how much Lexa meant to her. Abby’s heart raced in her chest. Clarke never dared to speak with her in that way before. “I let Lexa stay in my house, even if I knew that there was something going on between you. Don't you remember how heartbroken you were after she left? And who was by you side? It wasn't your dad, IT WAS ME! And when she showed up at your birthday, I was the one who send her away, because you were finally able to smile again because of Finn! I prevented you from your next heartbreak!” Clarke blinked and closed her eyes, because she tried to processing what Abby have said. “you did what? Please repeat it.” Abby nodded and said: “yeah back when you turned 21. She stood in front of the door and I told her that you’re better of without her. Everything I’ve done was to protect you Clarke.”

Clarke breathed in deeply and tried not to slap her in the face. Tears of hate were leaving her eyes now. When Abby raised her hand to wipe away the tears, Clarke moved backwards. She wasn't able to form a word and was just staring at her with dangerous eyes in disgust, that’s why Jake said: “Abby. The best thing for you to do now is to go away. You already made enough damage. And don't you dare come to my place again, until you aren't that self-satisfied person anymore.” Abby wasn't aware of what she had done wrong this time. She came closer to Clarke, but she said: “Leave this place. I don't want to do have anything to do with you anymore. Now go, before I lose my patience.” Abby stood there and tried again. But Clarke screamed: “GO!” and Abby did. Her chin high, like nothing happens and she left without turning back.

When the door closed, Clarkes body started shaking uncontrollably because it was to much for her. Jake came closer and pulled her to his chest and she broke down. He caressed her hair and whispered soft words to her. Apologized and was just be there for his daughter. Clarke was finally able to let it all out. All the hidden anger, the sadness, everything that buried deep inside her. Jake just continued to be there for her, the whole evening. Nobody was hungry anymore, and Clarke stayed by her dad the night. She never thought that her evening would turned out that way. With a lack of strength she finally felt asleep on the couch. Jake pulled the cover around Clarkes shoulders, so she wouldn’t get a cold. He also had tears in his eyes, seeing his daughter so broken and he went into his bedroom and tried to get some sleep.

**The next day**

Clarke left her dads place early in the morning, because she needed to make herself ready for work. She had a horrible night. She felt like a bulldozer just hit her. When she showed up at work Lincoln and Bellamy also don’t looked happy. She sat down and watched to her clock. Just 5 min before they opened the cells for the inmates. Lincoln asked: “hey Clarke, you look like you had a rough night. Is everything ok?” She forced herself into smiling, but it never reached her eyes. “yeah I had. I definitely need a huge amount of coffee today.” After chatting a little longer, they made their ways to open the cells. When Clarke stood in front of Lexas cell, Raven ran to her and said: “Morning Griffin. Do you had a party night? You don't look like you slept a single minute.” Raven tried to lighten the mood, but she was also different. Clarke smiled: “no nothing like that. Let me say family problems. What about you? You don't look happy at all.”

Raven just smiled and said: “it doesn't matter. Can you open the cell please? But don't mind her if she's a bit grumpy today.” Clarke frowned and before she opened the lock Raven continued with a short laugh: “grumpier as the other days.” Clarke opened the cell and Raven rushed inside to jump onto Lexa, who still laid on bed. “Lex wake up. It’s time. Do you want anything special for breakfast?” she asked. Lexa pulled the cover over her head and said annoyed: “Reyes! Just leave me alone, please.” Clarke found it suspicious, and wondered what’s wrong today. She didn't wanted to disturb more and said: “Good morning.” And left the cell door. She continued to open up the other cells and overheard Raven and Lexa arguing. Both came outside and she heard Lexa saying: “just leave me alone and everything is fine.” Raven went behind her and said: “no way Lex. We are together in this. Don't forget it.”

Lexa stayed silent and they went to the common room to eat breakfast. She looked over the women and was glad that everyone was calm. She definitely didn’t needed more drama today. She noticed that Lexa haven’t eat anything and seemed to be in a really bad mood. When they finished breakfast, they stood up to leave the common room. When they passed Clarke, Lexa didn't even shared a glance with her. Raven noticed and smiled apologetic look. Clarke sighed quietly and saw that Bellamy stopped Lexa. She heard: “The psychologist is here to see you.” Clarke frowned. Lexa was eyeing him and replied: “Send him away. I don't need a foreign person who wants to tell me what I have to think. Thank you for your offer, but I’m not interested.” Without waiting for reply she made her way back to her cell followed by Raven and Luna. Clarke needed to knew what’s wrong.

After breakfast she went directly to Bellamy. “hey, whats wrong with Lexa? Why does she need to see a psychologist?” Bellamy smiled glumly: “I wish she would see the psychologist. But she's refusing it.” Clarke sat down with a serious face. She didn't understand a word. “yeah okay but why?” Bellamy: “today is the day when the accidents happened. 4 years ago. Lexa saved Raven and Octavia. But she wasn't right in time to save their other friend. She died when the car hit her. The driver was drunk and is the the reason why all of them are here. But I’m aware that you know, because you read the files.” Clarke was shocked. She didn't knew about it. In the files is just written down why they were imprisoned. She was lost of words: “why didn't you tell me about it earlier?” Bellamy shrugged his shoulders: “I wasn't in contact with O when it happened. But I’ll be forever grateful for what Lexa did. Without her, O wouldn't be here anymore. That’s why I want her to get help. It could be positive for a retrial. But she just don't want it. Mrs Sky tries it every year, but Lexa never accepted help. She’s fighting her battles alone.”

Clarke was stunned. Lexa had so many people behind her and she just won't let anyone help. Now she understood why everyone was acting strange today and what Raven meant before. She got goosebumps all over her body when she tried to sympathize how everyone might feel today.   
“GET READY FOR WORK LADIES!” everyone assembled in front of the main spot and waited to be brought to the working places. 

Time passed and when Clarke drank her coffee in her break she picked up her phone and searched in the internet for news. She searched for an article 4 years ago. She finally found it and her stomach turned around.

  
_**Car drove into waiting people** _

  
_**A drunk driver drove into crowd of waiting people in front of a party location. It could have been a good evening, but it turned out into a horror movie. 6 people were injured, some of them life-threatening. Also 1 person died because of her injury. Her girlfriend, who was also injured, was right beside her, when the victim took her last breath. The driver stepped out of the car completely uninjured and tried to ran away in shock, but the Police Officers were faster and catched her right in time. The Medicals, Police Officers and Psychologists worked together to help the victims of the accident.** _   
_**We know from safe sources, that the driver often had contact with the police , because of drunk driving in the past.** _

_Girlfriend? The girl who died was Lexas girlfriend? Oh God…_ was Clarkes thought. The past two days gave just gave her to many informations to processing. Back at the station, when the women came back from work, Lexa immediately fled into her cell, and Raven sighed dejected when Clarke stepped closer. “Mrs Reyes? Can I have a word with you in private?” Raven turned around to face Clarke, after looking questionably to her Clanmembers. She shrugged her shoulders and winked: “sure Griffin. Let’s go into my cell.”

With that both were gone and Clarke closed the door behind her. Raven sat down and let her guard down, finally she showed the normal Raven. And not the Clan-Raven. She looked worried, because she liked Clarke, since she knew how much she meant to Lexa. “what is it? Can I help you with something?” Clarke sat down in front of her and said: “I know about the accident. Do you know why Lexa won't see the psychologist? Isn't there any chance to make her go and search help?” Raven shook her head with a sad smile. “Me and O tried it so often to convince her, but she won't hear us out. I want to help her, you wouldn't believe.”

Raven looked down to the floor, and Clarke saw how much she struggled with the topic. Raven continued: “She's my best friend, I owe her my Life. But I don't know what to do anymore to help her. She has massive guilt feeling issues. She thinks she's responsible for every bad thing that happens.” Clarke raised her eyebrows and said: “but she has to see someone professional to work it out. Or the guilty feelings will destroy her. We have to do something!” Raven smiled at her and stated: “she's still important to you right?” Clarke nodded shortly. “maybe I can help. I could try to talk to her. Maybe she'll listen to me.” Raven: “I don't know if it’s a good idea.” Clarke nodded and looked defeated. “maybe your right. She said several times that I should stay out of her business.” Raven: “yeah she's acting that way, because she cares for you. And she's scared that something might happen to you too. The past years changed her, especially here in prison. You can't trust anyone, you just have a hand full of trustworthy people. But in the end everyone could turn out to be your enemy, particularly when you're a leader, like Lexa is.” _She's afraid that something might happen to me? She still cares about me?_ Clarke nodded and stood up. She smiled at Raven softly and spoke: “Thank you for your time. I’m glad Lexa has friends like you. Nevertheless I’ll try to speak with her. We may be have a difficult past, but she don’t deserve to destroy herself.” Raven smiled and nodded, without responding. Clarke left the cell.

The rest of the day was long but more because the lack of sleep she had. Raven tried several times to cheer Lexa up, since Octavia was in the nurse station of the prison because of an influenza with a high fever. In the evening , close before cell inclusion, she saw Raven hugging Lexa. Lexa just looked exhausted and defeated. She didn't eat the whole day and was tired. Clarke started to lock up the women until she heard Raven saying: “Lex, never forget that you saved us. Without you we wouldn't be here anymore. Have a good night.” With that she made her way into her own cell and Lexa also slowly walked inside hers and waited to be locked in again.

  
Clarke looked inside and didn't know what to say. Lexa just laid on her bed, as in the morning and stared at the ceiling without saying a word. “Good night Lexa.” Said Clarke and waited for her respond, but nothing came back. She closed her eyes, sighed and closed the door behind herself. She went back to Bellamy and Lincoln who also finished. Lincoln looked restless and Bell said: “Hey Linc. How about you check up on my sister? I'm sure she would be happy to see you today.” Lincoln stood up fastly, as Bellamy looked down on her clock. “you have 30min left.” Lincoln smiled and rushed out of the door to head to the nurse station. Clarke was relieved that at least Lincoln was able to help Octavia on this day. Raven has Luna and Lexa was just all alone. Bellamy asked: “How is Lexa? I saw you talking with Reyes, did she told you something?” Clarke just nodded her head and told him. “I tried to talk to her, but I didn't knew how to start.”

She looked desperately. Bellamy shrugged his shoulders: “than let your heart speak. Don't worry to much.” Clarke was lost in her thoughts. Bell grabbed her shoulder and said impressively: “you have 27 minutes left.” Clarke looked up and saw him smiling at her. She stood and went to Lexas cell. She was really nervous and knocked at Lexas door with trembling hands, before she opened the door. Lexa laid ther, the back to the door and didn't turn around either. “Lexa?” asked Clarke with her raspy voice and stood still with the closed door in her back. After a while she heard Lexa breathing in deeply. “Go away Clarke.” Instead of going away, she overheard it and stepped closer. “I… I'm sorry about your girlfriend Lexa. I can't imagine how you feel about it.” Lexa turned around quickly and asked in a aggressive tone: “How do you know? I told you to stay out of my business Clarke!” Lexa looked so lost, like an abandoned puppy, it made Clarkes heart wrenching a bit.

She decided to go for it now, even if Lexa will get angrier. But the last evening made her realise, that you just have to let it all out sometimes. “I read an article of the accident. But Lexa…” Lexa sat up and raised her hand to her forehead. She wasn't aware of being confronted with the accident that spontaneous, without preparing. “you have to talk with an psychologist about it. Trust me, he'll show you ways to compensate your buried feelings.” Lexa hadn't responded yet. Clarke continued: “do you think she would be happy, if she knew that your destroying yourself with your guilty feelings?”

Lexa looked up, her eyes are glistening different now, somehow Clarke couldn't describe. Clarke just looked deeply into her eyes. Lexa: “It’s not just about Costia. why would you care? I don't need a psychological centificate where is written down that I’m sick. It’s weakening me, don't you understand that?! I told you several times that you better just stay away from me!” She said in a strong and hurtful voice. Clarke shook her head in disbelieve: “you aren't weak because of it Lexa! You had to go through so many awful things, and people are worried about you Lexa! We are here to help! When it’s not about Costia, what is your problem.”

Lexa was silent at first. Clarke knew she was fighting herself at the moment. “you need to talk to someone about it Lex. When you don't want to talk with a psychologist, I understand that. At least tell me what’s bothering you. And stop to shove everyone away from you, especially Raven and Octavia.” Lexa looked up and Clarke saw the tears which are building up in her eyes.

She waited patiently and her heart hammered inside her chest. After a while, Lexa started talking with a shaking voice: “I… this is hard for me,” a little pause again. Clarke sat down beside her and placed her hand on Lexas knee. Lexa looked down on her hand and continued: “I don't want to put anyone in danger. This is my problem. And when people are invested with me, they die. My past taught me that. It started with my parents. They were out to a theater. Madi was so small, and I became sick. Our Nanny didn't know what to do, because I cried for my parents.” She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears with shaking hands. Clarke also head a knot in her throat, Lexa never talked about it before. Lexa: “and she called them because of me. That why they wanted to come back. Close before they arrived our home, a drunk driver drove into their car. Both died because I made them come home earlier. They died because of me.” Her voice broke in the end and a sob escaped her.

A tear ran down Clarkes cheek when she closed her eyes. She laid her arm around Lexas shoulder and spoke softly: “but it wasn't your fault Lexa. You didn't…” Lexa silenced her ask said in a small voice, after she stabilized herself again. “Let me finish please. Then years later I met you Clarke. And you made me happy and smiling again. I felt so safe around you, Madi also loved you and everything finally made sense again. Until I had the meeting with Mr Ground. I choose a future for you and Madi and it was the wrong decision. You told me how much I broke your heart, I still see you in my head, how broken you stood there when I left you. and Madi… she was all for herself with her adoptive parents. I could met her rarely and even if she never told me directly, I knew that she had the feeling I wasn't be for her anymore.” Lexa is talking like she was in trance, she stared to the wall and talked monotone. Silent tears are running freely down her cheeks.

Clarkes heart broke more and more, by hearing how lost Lexa sounded. Lost in her own guilty world. She kneed infront of Lexa, grabbed her hands and tried to make Lexa look at her. But she continued to stare to the wall. “Lex I didn't knew about the circumstances. I wouldn't have decided differently if I would had to make this choice. You…” but Lexa cut her sentence and continued in a cold and emotionless voice. “I went to university and met Raven and Octavia. I focused on learning, because I realised that feelings were weakening me. Raven and Octavia had a hard time until I trusted them. Later Costia stepped into our lifes. All four of us were a good team. Costia felt in love with me, but I couldn't. I was afraid I could hurt her or worse. We kissed one time at a party but nothing more. I informed her that she was important for me like a friend, and she told me that she'll give me time until I’m ready. Of course I had feelings for her, but I wasn't in love. Then the accident happened. I nearly lost all of my friends. I pushed Raven and O out of the way, but I didn't came close to Costia. She laid there, in a pool of her own blood and told me that she loved me and I made her happy. But how? She died! Raven and O got hurt and I wasn't there for them, because I was busy with myself.”

She paused and took a deep breath, fresh tears in her eyes. She finally looked deep into Clarkes eyes: “and then you came back. Here in prison and I don't want you to also get hurt or worse because of me. I can't… imaging… if you…” she couldn't finish the sentence, because she was lost in Clarkes eyes, until she broke down. She was sobbing and her body was shaking uncontrollably. Her breathing was like a panic attack Clarke was also crying now, because she never saw Lexa like this before. She came closer and caressed Lexas face. With a trembling voice: “Lex… look at me. Please.”

Lexa forced herself to look into Clarkes eyes again, and had a hard time to breath. Clarke continued to caressing her face. “nothing of everything that happened was your fault. Nothing will happen to me! You won't get rid of me that easy.” She tried to lighten the mood, and smiled slightly. Lexa was still crying and wasn't definitely in a mood for a joke. Clarke wiped away the tears and moved forwards. Her forehead was touching Lexas and both were enjoying the moment of physical connection with closed eyes. “take a deep breath Lexa. Try to focus on breathing. It will help you to calm down.” Whispered Clarke softly and Lexa tried.

Her quick and shortly breathes became more calmer and deeper again. Clarke was reassured when Lexa calmed down. She opened her eyes slightly and saw that Lexa was also looking at her. Both looked deep into each other’s eyes and no one dared to speak a word. As if they were pulled by invisible strings, both came closer until their lips were millimeter apart. Lexa looked down to Clarkes lips and Clarke was afraid her heart would jump out of her chest. She hold her breath and leant in.

Then it happened! It felt like a firework, when their lips finally met each other. It was a soft and passionate kiss with many buried feelings and emotions. How much Clarke missed those plumb lips. A knock at the door, interrupted both and Lexa pulled her head back again with shocked eyes. Clarke also didn't knew how to reacted, that’s why she stood up and said: “I’m coming!” she knew if must have been Bell, who signalized her that the time has expired. She looked back to Lexa and said: “I have to go now. We'll see us tomorrow. Good night!” she said and left the cell without waiting for a response. She was overwhelmed and hoped, that Lexa won't shut out herself again now. She had much to processing and was happy to be free of work. She just talked with Bellamy shortly and thanked him, before she changed herself into civil clothes and went home. When she laid down in her bed she fastly drifted into her dreams, where she met Lexa again.

**The next day**

Clarke didn’t know how to deal with Lexa after their kiss, she hoped she haven't crossed a line. It just felt right and she was overwhelmed by her emotions. She was nervous when she arrived Station 1. “GET READY FOR WORK LADIES!” said Lincoln loudly and the women were coming to the main spot. Raven was smiling broadly and Lexa nodded and a small smile was also playing her lips. Close before they left for work, an Officer came closer with someone, but no one recognized it.

“I'M BACK BITCHES!” Ontari screamed and stood infront of them. She was cheered by her girls and Clarke saw how the faces of the rest of the women fell down. Ontari with a sweet smile to the shocked women: “ what’s wrong? Aren't you happy to see me again?” she asked with a provocation in her voice.

Clarke looked to Lexa, who stood there with her stoic face and stiffed body language, like she was alerted and ready to fight. Lincoln stepped forward: “you're banned from work. You'll locked into your cell.” The Officer nodded and led the way.

Clarke thought: _Why is she back again so soon? The station was so much calmer when she was gone. Hopefully she won't plan anything again. I have to keep an eye on her…_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will the situation turn out for Clarke and Lexa after their kiss? 
> 
> Ontari is back again and had much time in isolation to plan something to bring back some action to Station 1. She already has a plan how to test Echo's loyalty. Will Echo be loyal to Ontari or will she test her luck ?


	8. Trust your heart/ Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa are having a heart to heart conversation after their kiss.
> 
> Ontari is discovering something which leads her into a new idea on taking revenge for her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos on the previous chapters! :)
> 
> Here comes chapter 8! :)

Since Ontari was back, everyone changed their behavior back to Clan rivalries again, inclusive Lexa. Iceclan is against everyone because Ontari told them to, she allowed no contact to other clans if it's not necessary. Also Lexa is back to her old behavior , which means she tried avoiding Clarke the best she could. Clarke didn't knew how to cope with it, that’s why she thought it was about the kiss. She was aware that she was crossing a line, but she couldn't help herself, because she still had the feelings for Lexa, which were buried deep inside her. And by seeing her this broken, her heart broke also. When Clarke was supervising the women by working at the laundry , she tried to search contact with Lexa again, but Lexa constantly rejected her.

She sensed that Raven and Octavia were eyeing Lexa seriously, but didn't dare to say anything. Lexa continued to be a professional inmate who’s obligated to the Officer. Little does she knew, that she was observed by other inmates too.  
When Lexa went to the laundry warehouse, Clarke took her chance and followed her quietly. Lexa placed the finished laundry into the shelf, turned around and frightened shortly, because she hadn't heard someone following her. She raised her hand to her chest and breathed out: “God Clarke, do you have to frighten me?”

Clarke just stood there and said: “can you please explain to me, why are you acting so strange around me again? Have I done anything to you? I really thought we would get along with each other after everything.” Lexa looked around as she would be afraid of something. In a quiet tone she spoke and came nearer: “believe me, since Ontari is back, it’s better for you, if you would just stay away from me.” Clarke shook her head: “ You're always taking the easy way for yourself Lexa. Ignoring me won't make it better. Are you acting like this because I kissed you?” Lexas eyes became wide and horrified: “shhhhh… don’t spill it out that loudly. you don't know what you are starting when someone will find out about it. That’s why I tell you now once: this kiss never happened. Plus I’m aware that it doesn't meant anything, that you were just trying to cheer me up and make me feel better, because I had a weak moment.”

Clarke felt triggered, she came closer: “This is bullshit and you know it! I haven't kissed you, because I wanted to make you feel better! I kissed you because it felt right! I know what I feel and if you would be honest to yourself you'll know that you're feeling the same! You kissed me back Lex. You can't just act like nothing happened!” Lexa just stepped back, looked to the ground and had problems to keep her voice stable: “it was a weak moment. I shouldn't have given you false signals.” she lied but wasn't able to face her. After a while of silence she looked up into sad and desperate eyes of Clarke and continued softer: “I can’t let feelings distract me from my duty Clarke. The duty to my women comes first. They have my whole attention.” Clarke blinked: “so you're admitting that you still have feelings for me.”

Lexa was caught. She shook her head quickly in denial: “it doesn’t matter now.” Clarke came closer with slowly steps, still focusing on Lexas eyes. Lexa went back until she reached a table behind her and looked nervous. “I know how hard it is for you to trust someone, especially here in prison. But you at least should trust yourself. Trust your heart.” Lexa swallowed hard by having Clarke this close in front of her. She was looking down to Clarkes lips and back into her eyes again. She felt dizziness in her head when she smelled Clarkes perfume. It would have been easy for her just lean in to kiss her. But she can't put Clarke in danger, that’s why she denied to look at Clarke again. “I… just want to keep you safe Clarke.”

Clarke came a bit more closer, with a soft voice: “I am safe. I'm capable to keep myself safe. Trust me…” Lexa looked up, she definitely wanted to trust Clarke on that, but her anxiety issues made it harder to believe it. They were close in front of each other, and there was no way to escape for Lexa. She asked in a small voice: “Clarke let us be honest: even if I would have still feelings for you. what are you expecting? A hidden relationship again? Holding hands after cell inclusion? We can't be together in this situation. You're an Officer and I'm an Inmate. You’re risking your job. There isn't any way we could work this out. We just don't have a chance.”

Clarke swallowed hard, because she knew Lexa was right. But her feelings for Lexa can't be erased that easily. Tears were threatening her eyes slowly. She sighed defeated, because she didn't knew either: “I dunno.” She closed her eyes. Lexa raised her hand and placed it on Clarkes cheek to caress it softly. Clarke enjoyed this moment and leant into Lexas hand, because she needed the physical contact from Lexa at the moment. When Clarke heard Lexas shaking breath she looked up again into Lexas eyes, which were glistening with deep sadness. “we met again in the wrong place. I'll stick here for the rest of my life. If I had known before, that we would meet again, i wish it would have been under different circumstances.” The tears were watering Clarkes cheeks now, which Lexa tried to wipe away softly. 

It’s hard for Clarke to hear that Lexa completely gave up herself, so she whispered: “Then take your chance to do a retrial, as Raven and Octavia have done… I’ll… organize an lawyer. We can work this out!” she still grabbed desperately onto the last chance she had. Before Lexa could respond, both heard something rustling in the back of the warehouse. Both were looking at each other alerted and Lexa went back to look after the rustling sound. Between some of the laundry packages laid Trisha, an Iceclan member. She looked to Lexa and mumbled: “don't mind me, I’m good. I just woke up. Damn those drugs are totally blowing.”

She laughed and Lexa’s stomach swirled around, because she hoped that she seriously just woke up and hadn't heard something more of their conversation earlier. “Get your shit together Trish. You're getting paid for working not for sleeping.” Lexa stated and came back to Clarke with a shaking head. In a loud voice: “thank you Mrs Griffin. I'll try to do better next time.” She acted like she'd done something wrong. Clarke just nodded wiped away the rest of the tears and left the warehouse with Lexa. Lincoln eyed her suspiciously when she went straight to the bathroom. Trisha stepped out of the warehouse with a knowing smile. She whispered to herself: “maybe I’ll get the next shot for free, when i'll inform Ontari about the news.”

 

_**Back at Station 1** _

  
Echo was trying to hide away from Ontari, but it’s not that easy, when she's the leader of your clan. Echo made her way to the common room, when Ontari came behind her, followed by her closest members and laid an arm around Echo's shoulder. Echo froze and looked around for help, because she knew they still had an unresolved difference. Lexa wasn't near to be found, and the rest of Trikru clan didn't care much about Echo. Luna was the only one who looked alerted, she stood up from the stairs, but haven’t said anything. “Echo sweety. How come you didn’t welcomed me as the others were doing? Aren't you happy to see me?”

Ontari asked with a playful pout. Echo tried to move out of her grip and said with a insecurely laugh. “Haha of course I’m happy you're back.” Ontari noded: “you know. I had a little bit time to think about everything. And I decided to give you a second chance.” Echo just smiled, as she recognized Ontari was grabbing her harder, that it slightly hurt. “I haven’t betrayed you. Lexa told you so.” She tried to defense herself but Ontari replied: “you know, I don't care what Lexa says. She's also a traitor and sold me to the cops. Tell me, how is Sam doing? I guess I missed much since I was in isolation.” Echo was eyeing her suspiciously: “since when do you care about Sam?” Ontari smiled crazily: “since I know, you don't want him getting hurt. Just imagine if his father will find out in which foster care he is. Wouldn't it been sad if something would happen to him?” Echo stiffened.

She watched Ontari with hatred eyes: “you’ll leave Sam alone. He haven't done anything to you!” she stated with a trembling voice. Fear and hate are shaking her body when she tried to free herself from Ontari. “of course. If you prove me that you belong to my clan. If you prove me: little Sam has nothing to fear. Are we clear?” Tears were building in Echo's eyes, she haven't responded yet. Ontari grabbed her arm and turned it to her back harshly, it hurt and felt like her shoulder is dislocated. Ontari came closer and whispered in a angry voice: “are we clear?! And don't you dare tell anyone.” Echo's knees were giving in because of the pain and she stuttered: “we…are clear.” Luna stood right before them and asked: “Hey! Is everything alright here?” Ontari let go of Echo and said lovely and innocent: “Of course. Isn't it, Echo?”

Echo nod forced but couldn't look into Luna's eyes, tried to smile and said: “Yeah everything is ok. Thank you.” How much had she wished someone could help her. But she couldn't risk to put Sam in danger, not after everything he had been through. “Come on let’s go.” Ordered Ontari and passed Luna. Echo was the last one who began to move and Luna grabbed her arm and said: “Hey Echo. Tell me, what’s wrong?” Echo struggled but answered: “Don't worry. I'll work it out. But thank you again.” Echo finally looked up and Luna saw the desperation in Echo's eyes. Ontari shouted from the common room: “Echo! Don't forget where you belong to. Come on.” Without sharing another look, she went to Ontari and Luna continued looking where she left. Sadly she couldn’t force her help as long as she belongs to Iceclan. She felt sorry for Echo.  
Trisha followed Ontari with a goofy smile on her face, Luna could tell that she was high. Luna just shook her head, sighed and went into Ravens cell to wait for her.

 

**_In the common room_ **

  
Trisha came in and found Ontari placed in the middle of her women. She came closer and mumbled: “Hey boss. I have information’s for you.” Ontari rolled her eyes and said annoyed: “Trish you're so high you can barely move or speak.” But Trisha continued: “I have information’s about Woods and Griffin.” This made Ontari keen of hearing, even Echo looked to her and listened carefully. “Speak.” Said Ontari with curious eyes. Trisha slumped down on a chair in front of Ontari. “What about a reward. Next round for free?”

Ontari: “Depends on your information's. Now speak.” Ontari slowly lost her patience. Trisha: “Lexa and Griffin have a thing. Griffin kissed Lexa.” Ontari blinked and started laughing furiously at first, but became serious again soon: “they what? How do you know.” Trisha: “I laid in the laundry storage because I was high…” she paused, reflected herself again and started laughing: “I AM still high,” Ontari slammed her hand hard onto the table: “SPILL IT OUT NOW!” Trishas eyes went wide: “they didn't knew I was laying there, that’s why they were talking about it. I heard it by myself. They seems to be together before, they were talking about stuff like that.” Ontari couldn't believe what she had heard. Echo was also shocked, because she never expected something like that. “This little bitch…” whispered Ontari to herself. Trisha: “what about my reward?” Ontari breathed out annoyed and grasped to a secret place at her sole, and pulled out a package of white powder. She threw it to Trisha and said in a derogatory tone: “you better split it up. It’s not that easy to get it anymore. Now go, I can't look into your high face any longer.” Trisha stood up and left the common room happily, ready for her next round of drugs.

  
One of Ontaris closest members, her name was Xana, asked: “what are we doing now?” Ontari: “I'll think about it… Maybe this time I finally get my revenge.” She told with a dangerous glistening in her eyes.

 

_**Later, close before cell inclusion** _

  
Ontari was on her way to the open telephone area and passed Lexa and her Clan with a bright smile on her face and said: “Hey Woods. Have a nice evening!” she winked and earned suspicious looks from everyone. Octavia: “what was that about?” Lexa just continued to stare after Ontari and said quietly: “I don't know, but I fear we'll find out soon.” Ontari grabbed one of the phones and dialed the number of the person she wished to speak to. There was a free tone until she heard an uncertain: “Hello?” Ontari looked around and when she was sure she wasn't bugged she answered shortly: “ Hey brother it’s me. Don't talk much, just listen to me. I don't have much time.” The person on the other line said: “Okay but why are you calling on my second phone?” Ontari: “Because I'm not sure if someone is bugging me. You need to bring me something. Listen carefully now.” He was listening that’s why she continued: “I would love to have something typically Queen style. Because I wanna say ‘thank you’ to someone special…” Her brother: “Ontari. Are you sure about it? How am I suppose to get it inside?” Ontari looked around and spit angrily: “I don't care how you do it. You have to figure something out.” Clarke in loud voice: “GET READY FOR CELL INCLUSION LADIES!” Ontari with her eyes to Clarke, who was slowly coming closer: “I have to hung up now. It was good to hear you again Roan.” She hung up without waiting for a reply. She smiled at Clarke and said: “I'm already on my way boss!” she moved along Clarke, who didn't trusted her at all.

All the women where closed into their cells, and Clarke was glad that its finally over. After her heart to heart conversation with Lexa, she had mixed feelings. On one hand she felt relieved that Lexa still had feelings for her, which was important for her to need to know, on the other hand she felt sad because Lexa was right about their situation at the moment. She just wished Lexa hadn't gave up herself and would be open to accept the help Clarke offered her.

  
Clarke enjoyed the end of the shift with Bell and Lincoln at the bar they used to go often after work. They were talking about everything and nothing at the same time and both of them always had advises how to handle Lexa. But deep inside her, Clarke knew that she still knews Lexa better than the rest of everyone. She was aware that she shouldn't jump into conclusions but she couldn't let go of Lexa, as much as she wished she could. Lexa was the one for her and nothing or anyone would change it.  
When she went back home later the evening, she let her emotions out when she was drawing. She just drew without thinking and got lost into her own creative world. How much had she missed it to stick in there, without problems and negative thoughts and feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Ontari and her Clan are aware that Clarke and Lexa had a former relationship.  
> Will Echo be able to fight against Ontari or will she just accept her fate to protect Sam?


	9. Day of Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday is the day of Visitors, some are planned, some are unexpected.  
> Ontari also gets a visit from her lawyer, but not the one she was expecting.  
> Lexa and Madi are having a phone call, after Madis exam.  
> Lexa, Luna, Raven and Octavia trying to figure out a plan to help someone.  
> Echo and Bellamy are having a moment, which leads Echo into making a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading and liking the previous chapters! :)
> 
> Have fun on Chapter 9! :)

Days passed and Ontari felt stronger than before, since her perfect plan was finished. She just had to wait until the time is up for her. Nothing and no one will be able to step into her plan, she just hoped Roan will be able to bring her what she'd ordered. It was Sunday , which means the women are free from work and are able to get visitors.

Early in the morning Lexa went to the open phone area and tried to call Madi, who was back out of the hospital for sure, but she haven't talked in a while to her. She dialed her number and waited until Madi picked up the phone. “ _Hello_?” Lexa smiled and replied: “Hey it’s me. How are you feeling? Does your stomach still hurt?” Madi, more than happy that Lexa finally called: “ _Lexa!! I'm so happy you called! I have to tell you something! I passed my written exam, which means I can focus on your case as your defense lawyer! I just have to absolve a last practical exam and I want to take your legal case if you let me.”_  
Lexa blinked and felt lighthearted: “Oh God Madz I’m so proud of you! I knew you would pass it!” She furrowed her brows and asked: “What do you mean you want to take my case?” Lexa heard Madis smile in her voice: “ _We are able to pick one case to do a retrial when there are circumstantial.”_ Lexa closed her eyes and let out her breath loudly without answering. Madi again: “ _This is a chance Lex. I promise I’ll help you getting out of there. Plus you could help me in my exam, because your case is the only case I want to work with. Please if you won't do it for yourself, than do it for me?”_  
Lexa was uncertain, she felt as if she was pushed into a corner. Should she really do a retrial so Madi will pass her exam? “Madz I told you in the beginning, you shouldn't have become a defense lawyer just because of me. You were suppose to live your life in happiness, not just to get me out of prison.” Lexa wasn't aware that Clarke stood nearby and listened to what Lexa said.  
Clarke had to force herself not to intervene and bring back some sense into Lexa. It’s was more and more clearer to her, that Lexa definitely had a mental issue. Madi: “ _I’ll live in happiness when I know that you'll come back to me in a few years. Please Lexa, let me help you. You don't deserve to be in prison forever. You already done penance.”_ Lexa stayed silent and had an inner discussion with herself. She sighed weakly: “Okay Madi, listen: I'm sorry for being that harsh to you. I'll think about it okay? I just need time to think about everything. Now answer my question: does your stomach still hurts?” Madi: “ _No not anymore. Clarkes Mum made sure that everything turned out without any complications.”_  
Lexa laughed uncertainly: “Clarkes mum made sure of that?” Clarke in the background dropped her keys to the floor, because she wasn't expecting that also. Lexa turned around to see Clarke picking up her key again, with an caught and nervous smile on her face. “ _Yeah what’s wrong with that?_ ” asked Madi confused, but Lexa just shook her head: “nothing is wrong with it. Do you have plans for today?” They chatted a little longer and Clarke observed her in a respective distance.

When she saw that Lexa hung up the phone, she came closer and said: “What about my mum?” Lexa just smiled knowingly: “oh I’m sorry, I guess I should have spoke in a louder voice for you, to catch up everything of my PRIVATE call right? Your mum just made sure that Madi was alright in hospital.”

Clarke shook her head immediately: “I wasn't listening to your conversation!” Lexa hasn't answered yet and waited with a knowing smile. Clarke, embarrassed of herself, with hot and glowing ears: “ok you caught me. So how is Madi doing?” Lexa smiled and nodded: “she's doing fine! She passed her exam and has practical exam in the end.” Clarke was relieved: “I bet you’re proud of her, I'm also proud! Tell her next time!” Lexa felt so light at the moment, that she had problems to keep her professional distance, especially when she realised that Ontari was observing them constantly. “I will.” She smiled one last time and wanted to pass Clarke, but she grabbed her arm so she had to interrupt her movement. “Wait… you know I heard it. Are you really willing to let her help you?” she still had her hand on her arm and Lexa didn't really have the nerve to talk about it. “I have to think about it.”  
Both hadn't realised that Ontari passed them and she said playful sympathetically : “Hey you lovebirds, trouble in paradise?” she winked and continued her way. Lexa frowned and looked after her, Clarke sighed, because she wasn't happy about Lexas answer but at least it wasn't a clear ‘no'.

Without speaking anything more, Lexa made her way back to the others and Clarke called after Ontari: “Mrs Queen, I nearly forgot: your lawyer is here. I'll bring you with the women who also get visitors and then you have private time in the lawyer room.” Ontari turned around with raised eyebrows and asked: “My lawyer? I didn't plan to see him.” Clarke just shrugged her shoulders. She didn't really cared about it: “I’m just following orders to inform you about it. Then it seems that it was your lawyers wish to see you. Prepare yourself, we'll to the vistorsroom soon.”

With that she made her way to Echo, who sat on the stairs and read a book: “Hey, you have a visitor today!” Clarke told her with a bright smile on her face. Echo looked up from her book and looked lost because she hadn't expecting anyone. She looked around herself but she was the only one nearby. “Me?” she asked perplexed. Clarke with a encouraging smile: “Yes! Sam is here.” Echos eyes were shining with happiness. “But… but it’s not a foster care meeting today right? Have I forgot about it??” she was confused. Clarke shook her head: “no it was his wish to visit you. He's here with a co worker of the foster care.” Echo understood and felt happier than before.

Clarke turned around said in a loud voice: “IT’S VISITOR TIME. MEET ME AT THE MAIN SPOT!” All the women were moving and gathered at the main spot.  
When everyone arrived Clarke lead the way in the front and Bellamy in the back. Echo was nearly the last of the group and Bellamy whispered happily with a big smile on his face: “Are you happy?” Echo ran her hand through her hair and answered: “you knew? Why didn't you tell me? I wasn't prepared and possibly look like shit today.” Bellamy touched her hand unobtrusively and a shy smile on his face: “you always looks beautiful.” Echo blushed, because she wasn't good at accepting compliments and answered shyly “Don’t do that, you know I can't cope with it.” Bellamy just continued smiling at her with loving eyes: “accepting the truth?” Echo didn't knew what to answer, Bellamy always made her feel so good. Bellamy made her feel things she didn't knew she could feel anymore. The feeling of being loved.

 

_**Visitorsroom** _

  
Clarke always loved it to bring the women to visitors, seeing the happy faces of everyone made her heart warming.  
When Echo saw Sam, tears were immediately streaming down her face when Sam came running to her with a joyful: “Mommy! Mommy!” she hugged him tightly and never wanted to let him go anytime soon. Until Ontari went down to her knee and asked in a typically child voice: “Hey little man! You're Sam right? Your Mommy is talking constantly of you!” Echo just closed her eyes and hugged Sam tighter. But Sam moved around and asked openly with happy eyes: “Really??? And who are you?” Ontari continued: “I'm Ontari and a good friend of your Mommy, we hang out often!” Sam looked like he was thinking about something, laughed and replied: “you have a strange name. Do you come from Ontario?” Echo looked to her with an hateful look. She wanted her to go away, but she also didn't wanted to give Sam a bad feeling. Ontari ruffled through his blond fuzzy hair and said: “you’re a smart boy Sam.” Clarke stepped beside her and said: “Mrs Queen, your lawyer is ready.” Ontari highfived him and stood up and with a provocating smile on her face, she said to Echo with a wink: “Have fun with your sunshine.”

  
Bellamy came closer and asked whispering with a serious voice: “Hey is everything ok? You’re looking uncomfortable.” She stood up and smiled: “it’s fine now.” Sam looked up to him and said loudly: “Hey mommy look, he has also fuzzy hair just like me! On woooooahr look at that!” he showed to the Officer equipment, like handcuffs and stuff. Echo smiled lighthearted and Bellamy went down on his knees: “Fuzzy hair is the coolest kind of hair.” They started chatting and Bellamy explained the equipment to him in a child-friendly way. Echo never felt that happy before, even though she didn't wanted Sam to know all those things, because she was afraid that Sam would get scared because she also is an inmate. Sam, instead of her fear, was excited about everything and said: “Wow I want to be an Officer too, I could be always around my mommy and keep her save.” Hearing that was emotional for Echo, because she knew how much Sam noticed in their past.

Clarke brought Ontari into the lawyer room, and Ontari didn't knew this person at all. Clarke said: “I'll come later and pick her up again.” With that she left them alone.  
Ontari stood there without moving and looked to the man in front of her. He had longer hair and a well-kept braided long beard. He was wearing a suit and looked good, Ontari had to admit. But she asked warily: “You're not my lawyer. Who are you?” the other person smiled: “Roan send me to bring you something. He told me that you would be suspiciously.” He lifted a suitcase onto the table and opened the locks. Ontari again: “How do I know you’re not a spy?” The man smiled one-sided. “If I would be a spy, I couldn't bring you what you ordered. ‘Something typically Queen style’ to thank someone?” Ontaris eyes went wide, she came closer with fast steps and sat down in front of him. “I guess I shall trust you. Now tell me your name. How come that my brother hadn't introduced us before?” she winked. He replied: “My name is Atohl. And let me say, Roan and me aren't friends in the first place, but I owed him something. “  
Ontari smiled: “what a shame. Now show me what’s inside the suitcase.” Atohl nooded and opened the suitcase and turned around to show it Ontari. There were papers and… “a toothbrush?!” she asked stunned and raised her hand to her forehead in disbelieve. Atohl laughed shortly and ensured her: “Of course not silly one. It’s a prepared toothbrush. You can remove the toothbrush head and inside is a sharp blade with some ingredient on it. That’s why you better not cut yourself or someone you don't want to hurt. If that happens: it’s over for you, wouldn't it be a pity?” She was overwhelmed, Roan understood everything she told him. “Amazing! But explain who were you able to get it through the floodgate? Aren't the Officers controlling the visitors anymore?” Atohl responded with a knowing smile: “Of course their controlling visitors. But I’m not a visitor. I’m a lawyer and have a appointment with my client. I just have to show them my official lawyer pass.”  
Ontari was lost of words: “Wow. You’re a clever head. I‘ll keep it in mind for the next appointment. Maybe you could bring me something I can sell at my station?” Atohl: “Depends on your conditions.” Ontari sensed that he's a tough guy. “you'll get 30 percentage of the profit.” Atohl laughed: “what a joke. 50 for everyone.” He hold his hand to her and she took it. They had a deal. She grabbed the toothbrush and hide it into her shoe. They were planning the following meetings and time goes fast.  
There was a knocking at the door and Clarke looked inside. “Okay the time is over.” Ontari: “Thank you so much for your help.” He nooded and Ontari left the room.

Everyone said their goodbyes and Echo didn't want to let go of Sam again. She felt the tears which are wetting her cheeks and Bellamy stepped closer, because she was the last one who hasn't finished yet. “Echo I'm sorry but we have to go now.” Echo kissed Sams forehead and whispered: “I love you so much Baby. We'll see each other soon.” He nooded and looked sad to Bellamy: “Can I stay here please?” Bellamy shook his head with a sad smile: “I’m sorry but sadly you can't.” Sam ran to him and grabbed his hand to pull him down. He said quietly: “Watch out for my mommy please.” Bellamy smiled and said: “I promise.” Sam nooded happily and everyone left the visitorsroom.

 

_**Back to Station 1** _

  
Echo was so happy about the former events and how Bellamy and Sam got along with each other. She was searching for Lexa, who played table football with Raven, Luna and Octavia. Observated from Lincoln who was cheering on them. She took a deep breath and stood behind Lexa, who had just made a goal. She high fived Octavia and laughed, because Raven was annoyed: “Okay yeah, congrats. Now let’s continue.” The next one was for Octavia, Raven said to Luna: “Babe what are you doing? We're losing!” Luna stunned: “Rave? Firstly calm yourself it’s just a game. Secondly: I'm the one who made the goals.” Raven just rolled her eyes, continued whining and earned laughter from Lincoln, Octavia and Lexa. She looked up to Lincoln: “YOU better be quiet. You should be impartial!” she complained.

Luna just shook her head and rolled her eyes now. They continued playing, until Luna had enough of Ravens complaining, that’s why she said: “Raven if you won't stop acting like a child now, we'll never play again and be the losers forever.” Raven pouted, but couldn't hide her smile. “You're so cute when you're angry Babe.” Stated Raven and Luna was smiling again after giving Raven a short peck on her lips. Finally Echo could bring herself to intervene: “Lexa? Luna? I have to speak to you.” Lexa was eyeing her shortly but continued to play the game until the others were stop playing. Lincoln saw that Echo was having a hard time that’s why he excused himself and winked at O before leaving. Luna smiled at Echo. “what is it?” asked Lexa and turned around.  
Echo: “I don't want to belong to Iceclan anymore.” Lexa frowns and also Luna came across the football table with furrowed eyebrows: “How come?” asked Luna. Echo is switching to look from Luna and Lexa and continued: “Ontari is putting me into situations I don't want to be a part of. I have to think about my son. I don't want to get in trouble because of her craziness anymore.” Luna worried: “is she blackmailing you? How can we help?” Lexa stayed quiet but looked at Echo warily.

She let Luna handle the situation because she was always more understanding with Iceclan members than Lexa herself. Echo took a deep breath: “I wanted to ask if I could belong to your clan.” Lexas eyes went wide: “WHAT?!” She asked in a loud tone. Echo looked desperately at her: “Please, I know I messed up big time. give me a second chance, let me prove you that I changed. I already gave you the information’s to protect Clarke. I wouldn't have done this if I want to trick you.” Lexa closed her eyes. She knew she owes Echo, before she could answer, Luna did: “the problem isn't about trust and chances Echo. You know the rules. You pick a Clan and you stay with it, if not to you'll be outlawed. Even if we would pick you into one of our Clans, I really don’t want to know what Ontari will do then. And we won't be around to protect you 24/7.”

Lexa nooded. Echo: “isn't there a chance?” Lexa: “Sadly there isn't. I am responsible for my women, and I can't promise to keep you safe. I'm sorry Echo.” Echo saw, that Lexa was honest with her, and she also understood the problem. Luna after a while: “we'll figure something out to help you Echo. I promise. But you have to understand that it’s not a decision to take in a few seconds.” Echo nooded and felt a little bit more hopeful. “Thank you. And Lexa?” Lexa looked into her eyes: “I'm really sorry for the times I was with Ontari when she tried to kill you. She brainwashed me, and I was menial. But this is over now. I won't let Ontari rule my life anymore.” As she spoke, she felt strength in her body. She wanted to be a good guy. For herself and her son. Lexa was stunned about the sincerely apology. “I respect your courage. Thank you Echo. As a tip, try to stay away from Ontari as much as you could.” Echo smiled shortly and turned around to leave.

Raven breathed out loudly and said: “wow hard decision to make. She should have a chance.” Lexa breathed out annoyed: “Its not that easy Raven. There is only one chance but it’s complicated.” Octavia asked curiously: “what is it?” Luna sighed: “We could ‘buy' her. This means she belongs to us, but firstly: Ontari don't have to take the deal and secondly: she'll be handled as outlawed by the clan which bought her. The one good thing is: the clan where she belonged earlier, aren't able to harm her anymore, because they were already ‘paid’.” Raven frowned: “But what’s the problem with that? I mean yeah it’s really complicated but at least she would be save from Ontari.” Lexa shook her head: “Echo won’t have any rights in Trikru and Flower Clan. And when she gets attacked by one of the members, we can't punish them, because she was bought for it. Do you understand?” Raven slowly understood. “So you buy her as a punching ball for the clan?” Lexa nooded slowly and Luna said: “Exactly.”

Octavia: “But we don't have Clanmembers who would do something like that.” Lexa laughed: “Oh believe me, we have several who would rather be in Iceclan because they are cold hearted.” Ravens eyes went big and she intervened: “That’s the idea: we do an onetime open round, where everyone can change or stay in the Clan. We could get rid of the ones who aren't loyal to you and we're giving some of the women a new change.” Luna with a smile: “That’s a good idea Babe!” Even Lexa found nothing wrong with it. “Sounds like a good idea. But Ontari also has a say. We have to plan more, before we give her an opportunity to decide. As much as I feel sorry for Echo, but Ontari is her leader and also gets a say for these kind of decisions. And we need to find good arguments if we want to get Ontari interested.” Everyone nooded and all of them were heading into Lexas cell.

Ontari, meanwhile in her own cell, was handling her weapon and looked into the mirror. She whispered: “Tomorrow. Finally I’ll get my revenge. In honor of my mother.”

_**Tbc…** _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Ontari is close before going crazy.  
> What is she planning and what is the special ingredient Atohl was talking about?  
> we shall find out soon! :)


	10. Everything changes Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Lexa are giving their Clanmembers a new opportunity to change their life in prison.   
> Clarke will get new informations which will change her way to think about Ontari.   
> Raven and Lexa have a chat which will change Lexas way to think about something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me some time but here comes chapter 10! Thank you for reading and giving kudos at the previous chapters! I never thought I could pass 100 kudos with my story, so thank you so much!!

_**The next morning** _

It took them some time to figure out a plan, but they haven't really found a reason why Ontari should accept the offer. That’s why they decided just to go for it. The Officers opened the cells in the morning and gathered the women for breakfast. Clarke opened Lexas cell and greeted her: “Good morning. Do you had a good night?” She asked. It was good for Clarke that she have a chance to be real around Lexa again. She just hasn't took it personal anymore when Lexa was a little bit grumpy and harsh, since Lexa kind of admitted that she still had feelings for her. Lexa looked up and stepped closer with a light smile on her face. “Sure, how about you?” She sensed that Clarke wanted something else but she played the game. Clarke also smiled and said: “yeah sure I slept like a baby.”

Then she was silent but Lexa saw that she was trying to figure out what to say next. After a few seconds: “hey by the way, have you overthought to do the retrial?? I mean I’m sure Madi needs to know soon, you know?” Lexa sighed: “I told you yesterday that I have to think about it. But things turned out differently yesterday that’s why I had more important stuff to figure out.” Clarke frowned: “what could be more important than getting out of prison?” Lexa became harsher again: “things which are affecting the women here in prison. I can't tell you more for now.” Before Clarke could answer, Luna stood beside her and asked uncertainly: “Hey Lex it’s time. We have to start now, before breakfast.”

Lexa nooded and Clarke didn't understood a single word. She said: “Hey what’s going on here? What are you starting? Tell me.” Luna smiled politely and said: “We'll update you as Officers as soon as it’s done. But we need to arrange something as leaders before. If you'll excuse us now?” Lexa didn't looked at Clarke anymore and passed her without saying anything. Clarke looked after them and both were heading to Ontaris cell. Lexa and Luna were unsure how to start and no one moved when they stood in front of Ontaris door. “Okay. I let you precedence.” Said Lexa and looked to Luna with big puppy eyes. Luna shook her head immediately: “No I don't want it. You can go first.” Both were acting like teenager who are having an appointment with a teacher. Lexa shook her head again and the door opened. Ontari stood there and said: “Oh look who is visiting me today. Are you lost or what is it?” Lexa took a deep breath and said: “We need to talk about something with you. It’s about the Clans. We're here as leader”

Ontari realized how uncomfortable Luna and Lexa were. She looked back to Xana who was eyeing her suspiciously. “Ok cut it short. I want do have my breakfast.” Lexa and Luna stepped inside the cell and Lexa said with pointing at Xana: “You need to leave. It’s nothing for your ears.” Ontari closed the door and said: “She stays. You're two people and I’m alone. How do I know that you're not tricking me?” Lexa and Luna looked into each others eyes and communicated without words. Luna nodded and sat down. “Fine. We wanted to talk with you about the clan members.” Ontari sat down besides Xana and asked in reply: “Okay what about it?” She was annoyed to have a professional conversation right after waking up. Lexa stood nearby the door and said: “We want to make a onetime open round. Everyone can decides again where they belong to.” Ontari started laughing: “Are you serious? Why should I accept those kind of bullshit? My women will stay in my clan.” Lexa: “Because we know that you want to have the biggest clan. This is a chance for you to get it.” Ontari with narrowing eyes, still doubtfully: “what’s the use for you then? I doubt that you'll give ME a chance to over vote you.” Luna: “If you're so sure that everyone will vote to be in your clan you don't have to worry about it right? We just want to get rid of disloyal people in our clans.”

Ontari smiled and asked provocating: “So they better belong in my clan, is it what you're saying?” Lexa sighed and replied annoyed. It just don't made sense for her to discuss something with Ontari which she isn't interested in anyways. “Ontari. We just don't want to force the women into a clan where they don't want to belong to anymore. We made our choices long ago, people change. Maybe they would prefer another clan. That’s all. We don't want to trick you, we just want to get an okay from you, because you're the leader and sadly you also have a say in our coalition.” Ontari smiled because she thought about the day and her plan. She stood up, came closer to Lexa and touched her shoulder. “You know what? Let’s do it. Because I’m sure that no one of my clan will leave me. They're all martial. Make an announcement for the open round Lexie.” She loved it to call her that, because she knew that Lexa didn’t liked it to called with nicknames especially from Ontari.

Luna stood up and came to Lexa who stepped a little bit back from Ontaris touch. She took a deep breath and answered with a strong voice: “Fine. I'll announce it when we are having breakfast, everyone has time to overthink about what they'll choose.” With that both, Luna and Lexa, left Ontaris cell followed by Ontari and Xana. Clarke was eyeing the situation suspiciously, because she wondered what they were doing in Ontaris cell.

 

_**Breakfast** _

  
Most of the women took their seats and Luna nodded at Lexa, that’s why she stood up and spoke in a loud voice. Clarke and Lincoln were observing them and listened carefully. “May I have your attention? I have to announce something important for all of you.” Everyone turned around to face Lexa and was silent. Echo looked to Luna who smiled at her relieved. “Since much time past since we decided which clan we belong to, Luna, Ontari and me want to inform you that we'll give all of you a onetime open round and everyone is able to choose to stay in the clan or change it without fearing to getting outlawed.” Echo breathed happily, she couldn't believe what she just had heard. Ontari recognized it also and wasn't happy about it. Lexa continued: “we are starting to vote at lunchtime, that’s why I’m announcing it now, so you'll have time to think about it until then. Thank you that’s all for now. Enjoy your breakfast.”

Afterwards she sat down again and most of the women were applauding, many of Iceclan members too. Ontari started to be pissed more and more. She spoke in a quiet dangerous voice: “don't you dare think about changing. I'm warning you, you belong to me!” Echo smiled and replied: “We'll see how many people you will have left in your clan after the vote.” Xana, who sat beside Echo punshed her shortly in her ribs and hissed: “you better be quiet now.” Echo grabbed her ribs and moaned in pain. She made her choice already and no one can convince her otherwise.

  
Clarke looked at Lincoln and frowned. She also thought about Echo, who will be free and in a more calmer clan soon. Lincoln: “Wow nothing like that happened ever before. I don't know what to think about it.” He said quietly to Clarke. She answered: “I think it’s a good thing. As I know Echo wanted to change the clan long ago.” Lincoln nooded and looked warily over the women, he stated: “You're totally right, but I know that Queens won't accept it that easily. I'm wondering how she could accept it in the first place.” Clarke, after making sure that there isn't any trouble by the women, turned around to look at him directly: “What do you mean? Every leader of the clans should want the best for their members. Echo stated something similary too. Why is everyone so scared of Ontari?” Lincoln laughed bitterly and said: “Ontari and Lexa are always fighting, some are saying she's blackmailing her Clanmembers to stay in her Clan. She wants the dominance here in prison and has a personal wish to see Lexa dead. She tried to murder her several times now, but Lexa was always able to survive. That’s why I'm wondering why she agreed to it.”

Clarkes breath hitched, she haven't known about all of it. Of course everyone gave her hints all the time but no one said it directly until now. She instantly remembered the scars on Lexas body and it became clear to her now that it has to be from Ontaris attempts. Plus that everyone warned her about Ontari. “Why didn't you told me earlier? Don't you think it’s important for me to know? Especially that she tried to murder Lexa?!” she hissed angrily. Lincoln sighed and said: “We wanted to tell you. But you had a impartial way to think about the women, and we didn't want you to become partial because it’s about Lexa. Lexa is able to fight her own battles. She is the bravest I know.”

Clarke shook her head, it is not like she is calmer now. It made her even more furious, because she was more worried. “I can't believe Bell and you were veiling it from me.” She looked to Lexa and swallowed hard.   
When Lexa and her crew finished breakfast, she stood up and went out of the common room again. She stood in front of them and looked at Clarke, clearly realizing that something was bothering her. “Okay you heard it. We'll inform you about the decision after it’s settled.” Clarke didn't answered anything, but she was boiling inside, because she thought: _Why is Ontari still here if she tried to murder Lexa? Shouldn’t she be in a high security prison or something?_

Lincoln said: “sure, just make sure Ontari isn't planning something to convince the others.” Lexa nooded and smiled, Lincoln always respected her. Deep inside her she clearly liked Lincoln and respected him too. He was a good man for Octavia and Lexa was glad that O would be safe around Lincoln when she will come out of prison. They were passing them by and went to their cells, afterwards showering. 

After a while they heard a:“GET READY FOR WORK LADIES!” Bellamy spoke in a loud voice. He looked to Clarke who was scaredly quiet. “Is everything ok?” he asked. Clarke bite her inner cheeks hardly. “Sure.” Bellamy frowned, but hadn't time to ask something else because everyone was already there, ready for work. Clarke stood up and went to the women, followed by Bellamy. They brought them to their working places. Echo hurried up to walk beside Lexa and said: “Hey Lexa. I just wanted to thank you for the offer for us to changing the clans. I can't form any words to express how happy I am.”

Lexa looked over her shoulder and smiled slightly. “Don't worry about it. It was about time to give the women a chance to change. You deserve it. You need to think about your son and I understand it. That’s why we figured something out.” She said and Echo returned her smile. Echo: “Let me know if there is anything I can do.” Lexa answered: “Just be careful until it’s done.” Echo nodded and before she could say anything, Ontari grabbed her by her arm. “Echo. I think I made myself clear, haven't I?” Echo closed her eyes and answered: “you have.” Ontari smiled sweetly: “Good. Make sure the others won't leave me clan and you can be promoted to one of my closest.” Echo frowned because she didn't trusted her at all. She smiled uncertainly: “I keep it in mind.” Raven behind them overheard everything, that’s why she intervened: “Hey Ontari. Already scared that your members will leave you?”

Ontari stopped and turned around to face her: “I'm never scared. And still I know that I can over vote Lexa's clan. You wanna know why?” She asked quietly. Raven retorted: “No I'm not aware.” Ontari: “Because everyone knows my importance here. And is fearing me.” Raven started laughing loudly: “You're importance?! Are you high or something? You’re not more important than everyone else in here.” Clarke stepped up behind them, still annoyed mostly of Ontari now: “So what about you guys? It’s time to work, not to chat in the middle of the floor. Move we have a tight schedule today.” Raven looked at her with raised eyebrows. She hadn't seen Clarke this annoyed long time. That’s why she decided to stay silent and just move. Something was off with Clarke but she didn't knew what exactly. She needed to inform Lexa about it.

 

_**After work, lunchtime** _

  
All of the women gathered in the dining room to make their choices. Lexa stood in the middle and : “Ok everyone. I hope you made your choices.” Luna, Lexa and Ontari stood in front of the women. All off them were observated by Bellamy, Lincoln and Clarke because every single women attended the open round. Plus they also were curious how the results will turn out.

  
Trikruclan started. Everyone was totally nervous and kind of excited how it will turn out. The seats were separated in each clan. Who wanted to change the clan could stand up and move to the clan where they wished to belong to. Lexa: “Ok let’s start with Trikru. Change the seats if you want to.” Lexa was really nervous even though she tried to play it down. But she wasn't sure how many women had a problem with her leading ways. Everyone was silent and 4 women stood up and moved to Iceclan. Lexa blinked shortly but didn't change her face. Raven whispered to Octavia: “It could have been worse.” Octavia nooded and answered: “personally I haven't thought that anyone will go to Iceclan. Thank god they weren't one of our closest.” Raven: “Lexa was right. We really had disloyal people in our own clan. I didn't realized before.” Octavia looked to Ontari who smiled satisfied: “we shouldn't forget that we're in prison. Trust and loyalty are high standards.”

  
Luna: “Let's continue with Flowerclan. Change the seats if you want to.” Lexa watched over the women and nobody stood up. Luna smiled satisfied and grateful and the Flowerclan clapped their hands for Luna. Her easy way to handle the women was probably the best. Raven also stood up and clapped. Afterwards O and the rest, inclusive Lexa who smiled at Luna proudly.   
Clarke calmed down a bit the last hours and was also discussing the result quietly with Bellamy and Lincoln. Both were glad that Clarke at least talked to them again. “Ok calm down. We aren't finished yet.” Spoke Lexa loudly and everyone became quietly again. She nooded to Ontari, who had a self-conscious smile on her face. “And last but not least: Iceclan.” Nothing happened at first, Luna and Lexa were watching each other alerted. After a while one women stood up… followed by the second, third and so on. Ontaris eyes became more furious woman after woman. She felt like a tiger in a cage. 

Echo also stood up, with a relieved facial expression, finally free- minded. Echo plus 7 other women, mostly who attended Clarkes project, stood there ready to change the clan until Ontari screamed: “STOP IT! I withdraw my decision! No one is gonna leave my clan.” Clarke was alarmed because she already felt the changed tension in the room. It was more aggressive abruptly. Ontari moved across the room to Lexa and stood dangerously close in front of her: “I get it. This was your plan. You were influencing them to leave my clan. I saw you talking to Echo before.” Ontari pushed her by her shoulders backwards, but Lexa was looking at her still calmly, but with a unemotional face. “This is bullshit. I told you about our circumstances. It was your free will to accept it, there is no way to withdraw now.”

Ontari stepped closer again, but Octavia intervened and pushed in between them for Ontari to back of again. “Don’t start anything you will regret.” She hissed angrily. Lincoln was close before interfere but Lexa said untroubled: “It’s okay O. Calm down, we don't accept physically treatment in our clan.” With that statement the Iceclan members were more confirmed to change the Clan, because everyone feared Ontaris physical punishments. Octavia looked at Lexa over her shoulder and realized that Lexa was completely relaxed. Lexa continued: “Go back to your seat, I’ll work it out.”

O nooded and looked into Ontaris eyes one more time carefully, but she respected Lexas order of course. Bellamy, Lincoln and Clarke were highly alerted and ready to interfere. Clarke said quietly, when Ontari stepped up slowly closer to Lexa again: “We have to do something it turns slowly out of control.” Lincoln observated the situation in front of them with a serious face and shook his head.   
Lexa, eyeing Ontari with a hard look in her eyes unimpressed of Ontaris actions. “You made your choice. With my 4 women you still have 10 members in your clan. The minimum of members to rule a clan. Be grateful for that.” She stated calmly. Everyone was tensed and ready to fight. Ontari laughed: “you know what I’m grateful about? I'm grateful to introduce my fist to your face!” Afterwards everything went fast. Ontari moved closer to Lexa with a raised fist, ready to punch her, Clarke screamed in the background: “NO STOP IT!!!” which irritated Lexa when she heard the fear in her voice, but still she was quicker to move out of Ontaris way. Ontari just punched into the air and Lexa grabbed her arm fastly to turn it onto Ontaris back.

Ontari vented forward, still in Lexas hold and hissed: “Get your freaking hands off me.” Clarke was right beside her, relieved that Lexa was uninjured. She was stunned about her reflexes but still shocked about the situation. Lexa looked at Clarke with more softer eyes now, as if she was telling her without words that Clarke don't have to worry. Luna stood beside them, also troubled. “Let her go Lex.” to Ontari: “You better get your shit together and act like a leader.” Lexa let go off her and Ontari stepped back with pure rage in her eyes. “You will regret it. I promise you that.” Ontari turned around on her heels and stamped out of the dining room. Everyone started breathing again, Xana followed Ontari quickly and also Lexa took a deep breath.

Clarke, still worried: “Are you alright?” Lexa smiled and said: “Sure, don't worry. It’s not the first time at all.” This hit Clarke again, because now she knew about everything she didn't understand how Lexa was that calm. Luna took over: “Okay let’s continue. Iceclan members choose you new clan please.” 5 member inclusive Echo went to Trikru and 2 went to Flowerclan, but most of them just for record, because Flowerclan and Trikru were ruling together. Echo came to Lexa and said relieved: “Thank you so much, and I'm sorry that it turned out that way.” Lexa: “I’m glad we could help. Hopefully we have a peaceful solution for everyone now.” She turned around to Clarke who smiled at Echo with a honest smile. “You should think about the new cell constellations because of the changes.”

Clarke nooded and felt the strain leave her body slowly. Lexa and Luna went back to their seats and all started to have lunch before the second work time. Clarke went back to Lincoln and Bellamy and took a deep breath. Lincoln: “See? That’s what I meant earlier.” Clarke answered: “You were right about Ontari. We have to keep an eye on her, more than before.” A smile played Lincolns lips and he continued: “I also was right about Lexa. She had everything under control.” Clarke rolled her eyes and denied to answer. Of course he was right, Lexa was strong and tough and survived prison without her protection anyways.

  
After a while, Xana came back into the dining room and headed straight to the Iceclan table. She said quietly: “Welcome new ones, and I'm sorry about the rough start. you have to prove your loyalty to us in the evening. We'll meet after work and inform you. Am I clear?” Everyone nooded and continued their meal.

 

_**At work** _

  
Lexa and Raven were working on the bedsheets to fold them and finish the order for today. They were folding the bedsheets and piled them up. “have you seen Ontari after lunch? She still looked pissed.” Lexa: “Yeah I bet I would be dead already if looks could kill. But you know her, she's always that furious but after a while she will calm down eventually.” Raven raised her brows and laughed shortly: “You're right but it was different this time. She looked like she completely lost it . We have to be careful.”

Lexa agreed: “Totally. But now let’s talk about something else. How are the things between Luna and you?” She remembered that she hadn't spoke about it long ago. Raven was shining instantly: “She makes me so happy. It’s something to look forward to into future, you know?” Lexa concentrated on folding the bedsheet and thought about Clarke. How happy she was when she was with Clarke and how her heart started racing again when Clarke kissed her in the laundry storage. Many memories were in her head and she got lost in her thoughts with a smile on her face. “Lexa. Hey are you sleeping?”

Raven brought her back to reality. Lexa looked up with a lost face and asked: “I'm sorry, what did you say?” Raven winked and said: “did you just make out with Griffin in your mind? Just joking relax. I asked if you thought about Madis exam.” Lexa shrugged: “yeah I thought about it.” Nothing more. Raven rolled her eyes: “aaaaaand?” Lexa: “annnnnd it’s none of your business." Lexa smiled playfully. Raven pouted: “Lex come on. Just think about it. We could be together outside. All of us. You know you can't live without me.” She winked but got seriously afterwards. “We're going to leave the prison Lex. And I don't want you to stay here all by yourself.” Lexa never thought about it that way before.

Raven was right. Luna, Raven and Octavia would be released in a few years. All of her friends would be gone and build a life outside of prison. She sighed and thought about it too. She could be with Madi and be there for her. And Clarke? She didn't know how it would work out, but there was a better chance to work something out, at least. After a while, Lexa looked up again and respond: “You're right Rave. I'll talk to Madi and inform her before cell inclusion today.” Raven had a big smile on her face and stepped around the table to hug her tightly. “We're a family Lex. Love ya." Raven whispered relieved. Afterwards they finished their shift until they brought back to Station 1.


	11. Everything changes Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short summary: 
> 
> Ontaris revenge will change everything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and giving kudos for the previous chapters! 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone! :)

_**After work** _

  
Clarke hurried to walk beside Lexa and whispered: “We need to talk.” When they brought the women back to Station 1. Lexa frowned and asked quietly: “About what?” She slowed her walk down and let the women pass them, in a louder tone: “Of course we can talk about the cell constellations.” Clarke smiled professional to Bellamy who returned the smile knowingly. “I'll bring her back to station in a few minutes.” Bellamy nooded and continued their way back to Station 1. When both were alone, Clarkes smile faded away fastly. Lexa asked again: “What’s bothering you, Clarke?”

Clarke laughed shortly and looked to Lexa with disbelieving eyes. She shook her head. “It’s about your conflict with Ontari.” Lexa rolled her eyes and answered stubbornly. “I don't have a conflict with Ontari.” Clarke: “Fine, but clearly she has a problem with you! Why are provocating her? Do you want her to kill you?” Lexa sighed, she was worried that Clarke would become overprotective by time here in prison. She looked deeply into worried blue eyes and said: “I'm not provocating her. It was a normal situation earlier. We have a coalition together and sometimes decisions need to be done plus it’s not my problem if Ontari turns everything into a personal fight.”

Clarke wasn't feeling better at all, because she didn't want anything happen to Lexa. She answered: “But it will become your problem if she’s attacking you! How come that not a single attempt of her is written down in her file? Someone has to work for her and deleted it or something! We need to do something about it Lexa!” Lexa shook her head and ensured Clarke. She looked around to make sure nobody might come. She took her hand softly which helped Clarke to calm down again a bit. “Nobody is working with her, don't worry. It’s not written down because I didn't report the offence. We are here in prison, there is no way to report others, especially when she don't succeed to kill me.”

Clarke had problems to cope with Lexas light mood, but she also knew that things might be different when you're an inmate. She sighed in defeat and realized that she was caressing Lexas hand with her thumb without thinking. It just felt good to feel her, she felt so much better again just because of the small physical contact between them. “Ontari was threatening you earlier, how are you this calm?” She got lost in Lexas green shining eyes and never wanted to come back into reality again. Just looking into them gave her the safety she needed right now. Lexa smiled slightly and answered: “because I have something to fight for. And with this in my mind, nothing will be able to take it away from me.” Clarke wrinkled her forehead and asked: “What do you mean?” Lexa hold her hand tighter and stated: “I'm gonna help Madi with her exam and will benefit from it to take a retrial afterwards.” Clarkes faces changed from worried and desperate to happy in seconds, when she was processing what Lexa just had said.

Clarke was excited and happy at the same time: “That’s amazing Lex! I'll organize a lawyer. I promise I will do the best I can to get you out of here. Just tell me what you need and I’ll organize it. ” Lexa laughed shortly and responded: “Stay calm Clarke and remember: it takes as long as it takes. But you have to promise me one thing: You need to stay away from Ontari. Promise me, that you will watch out for her.” Clarke nooded: “I promise. But you have to promise me the same.” Lexa: “I will be careful. Now let’s go, before someone is searching for us.” Their hands lost the contact and both of them went back to Station 1. When they arrived, Lexa said her goodbye and searched for Raven and the crew. Clarke headed back to the main spot, still feeling much lighter already.

  
Everything was back to normal again at the first glance, Ontari and her crew gathered in cell, because she knew no one will eavesdrop them in her personal space. Ontari stood in front of the women and said friendly and forcefully at the same time: “Thank you for coming. I have a plan and I want you to prove me your loyalty. I don't need traitors here, so if you're planning to be disloyal to me, feel free to go now.” No one dared to move because most of them didn't care about trouble or hoped for a free shot of drugs. Ontari looked to Xana and smiled pleased. She continued: “Perfect, hear me out.” And she told them her plan. In the end Ontari stated: “I will get my revenge and I want you to help me.” Everyone nodded and agreed to her.

They went to exit Ontari's cell and placed themselves at different places. Everyone had their special location and waited for offers. Clarke, Bellamy and Lincoln sat behind the bars of the main spot and figured out a plan to split the women and find new cell constellations after the new memberships of the women. Bellamy already told Mrs Sky about the changes and she agreed to it as long as no fights because of the results from the new constellations.

  
Echo was on her way to her cell, after playing table soccer with a few girls, to pack her stuff because she was more than ready to change the clan and the cell. She realized that Trisha, her cell mate until now, was nowhere to be found, luckily. That’s why she slowly grabbed her stuff until something hard hit her head. She felt dizziness and turned around to see two Iceclan members smiling at her. Each of them grabbed an arm from Echo to hold her still. One of them said: “Lovely greetings from Ontari, she's not pleased that you betrayed her. Now come with us.” With much of fighting against them they guided her out of the cell to the bathroom. One of them nodded to Ontari, who waited on the top of the stairs for them to bring her to the bathroom. When they disappeared inside, without someone noticing, Ontari nodded shortly to Xana who waited at the pinball with some members for a sign.

Xana nodded back at her and they started a fight into their own lines. “YOU WERE STEALING MY CIGARETTES AND I WANT YOU TO GIVE THEM BACK TO ME!” said one Iceclan in a loud voice so everyone can hear it. She started to push the other away and more members of them intervened their scrimmage. Ontari smiled pleased, because her plan finally began. She went after the women in the bathroom, and one of them secured the door and made sure nobody would follow. In the middle of the shower area sat Echo on the floor and breathed heavily.

She probably was hit in her stomach already, Ontari stood in front of her and grabbed her by the hair and raised her head up to speak with her. Echo hissed in pain and Ontari said in a calm voice: “do you really thought you could get out of my clan because Lexa decided it?” Echo responded with a painful and stuttering voice: “What do you want from me. I don't belong to your clan anymore.” Ontari agreed and said: “I gave you several chances to prove your loyalty to me. And you thanked me with nothing but disloyalty. You're my bait for Griffin. If I remember right, she thinks highly from you." She turned around to another member and said in trigedasleng : “dula yu job ob." And she hurried away to leave the bathroom.

She hurried to Clarke and said desperately: “Ms Griffin?? Echo needs you, something is wrong with Sam and she needs to see you!” Clarke looked up from her papers and watched Bellamy alarmed. She stood up fast and hurried out of the main spot to reach Echo as soon as she could. When they disappeared in the bathroom, the situation turned slowly out of control. The women who tried to ease the fight between the women also get punched and it turned out into a mass brawl. Iceclan attacked different members from the other clans and Bellamy and Lincoln tried to separate them, but they were to many, that’s why Bellamy said into his radio telephone: “We have a mass brawl at station 1! We need additional Officers here asap!”

 

_**Back in the bathroom** _

  
Clarke hurried into the bathroom to see Echo laying on the floor crying, all alone. When she arrived her and went down on her knees, Ontari and 2 of her members stepped out silently of one of the shower curtains. Clarke grabbed Echo's face and said: “Hey what’s wrong with Sam, talk to me.” Echo watched her with regretful eyes and said still painfully: “It’s a trap, watch out!” she tried to warn her and before Clarke could asked more Ontari was faster and overwhelmed Clarke. Her head hit the wall hard and everything went black.

Lexa stepped out of the cell with the crew, worried about all the screams. Everyone was fighting and she saw that Bellamy and Lincoln were clearly overwhelmed. When they were able to separate two, others started fighting again. She was searching for Clarke but she was nowhere to be found. Luna ran to the mass and shouted: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! STOP IT, ALL OF YOU!” but the women couldn’t care less, because everyone was able to let the anger out which was boiling in them. Octavia ran to help Lincoln and Bellamy and also get punched but countered back. Raven looked at Lexa, alarmed and asked: “What are we doing now?” Lexa stayed silent and continued to search for Clarke, until her look stopped at the secured bathroom door. “Something is wrong. It’s a trap.” She breathed out heavily. Raven followed her look and said with startling eyes. “Ontari isn't here. Let’s go we need to hurry!” They made their way to the bathroom with fast steps.

Clarke woke up after a few minutes and felt blood dripping from the middle of her forehead. She looked around and wasn't able to move because her arms and legs were tied up with bedsheets. She sighed and looked to Echo who also was tied up. Ontari came closer with a big smile on her face, in the background stood two of her clan. Clarke had a massive headache and closed her eyes. Ontari came down to her and sad: “Do you slept well? Sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, but it was an clearly an invitation for me.” Clarke spat: “What do you want from me? Are you taking me hostage?” She laughed and continued: “Mr Blake and Mr Keen will recognize my missing and will come and find my anyway.”

Ontari smiled politely: “ You know what? I also thought about it. That’s why I organized a little party for them so they'll be distracted. Plus, I don't want them to save you. I need someone else coming to your rescue.” Clarke thought about Lexa. Of course she staged everything, how could she be so blind. She looked to Ontari, defeated: “Of course you staged everything. I should known better since Echo isn't Iceclan anymore.” She looked to Echo who sat there tied up and gagged, but her apologizing look said it all. Ontari stood up and went to Echo again, caressing her hair and said: “Our beloved Echo fought so hard.” Echo tried to avoid the contact with Ontari and tried to move her head away from Ontaris touch.

She came back to Clarke again and said dangerously quiet: “But in the end, I always win, you will see.” Clarke asked provocating: “You're hoping for Lexa to come and rescue me?” Ontari blinked shortly and stated self-conscious: “I'm not hoping. I know she'll come in in a few seconds. You know why?” she didn't waited for Clarkes response: “because I know she won't let me hurt you. I bet she don't want to burden the guilt if something’s happen to you.” She was rambling now and pulled out the toothbrush with the blade out of her shoe and showed it to Clarke: “How do you think she'll react when I’m threatening you with this blade?” Outside of the door were voices to be heard. Someone fall to the door from the outside and people were rushing in. Clarke closed her eyes when she saw Lexas horrified face. Ontari smiled at her and punched her into the stomach one last time which made Clarke cough badly.

Lexa ran closer and tried to intervene but Ontari stood up and turned around with shining eyes and a playful smile: “It took you some time to find us right?” she took a step back to Clarke and embraced her to hold the blade at her throat. Clearly keeping an eye out not to cut her. Lexa stood a few steps away and breathed herself calmly. Raven was massaging her fist, because she must have been that person who punched the securing woman to get into the bathroom. Lexa: “Ontari… Let her go, your fight is with me.” Clarke cought her breath again and said with tears of pain in her eyes, because she remembered what she promised Lexa before: “everything was a trap, I didn't kn…” but she couldn’t finish her sentence as Ontari screamed: “SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOUR EMOTIONAL SPEECH RIGHT NOW!” Everyone was silent in the bathroom, no one dared to say anything except for Lexa. She stepped closer slowly and said in a unruffled tone: “Ontari. I know that I’m your archenemy and you know what? You're completely right, I deserve it. I deserve all the hate you have inside yourself. But everyone here inside has nothing to do with it. Let them go and you're free to get your revenge.” The two members of Ontari stood beside her, that’s why no one noticed that Raven slowly walked to where Echo sat, tried to free her and indicated her to stay silent.

Clarke shook her head and looked desperately to Lexa. “Lexa stop this bullshit right now!” Lexa looked deeply into her eyes and said calmly: “It’s okay Clarke.” Secretly Lexa hoped to gather some time for the Officers to storm inside the bathroom, because she knew that Ontari completely lost it and was not responsible for her actions. But even less she didn't wanted someone getting hurt. Ontari stood up and let go off Clarke to come closer to Lexa with a raised blade again. Lexa moved backwards because she knew she wouldn't had a chance without a weapon for herself. At least she was able to lure Ontari away, she raised her hands up defeated. Ontari asked: “should I be thankful for that? For your heroic behavior? You wanna know why I picked Griffin? I waited for years to finally find someone to show you the pain I felt! I’m aware that you care about Reyes and Blake too, but I know that Griffin and you were lovers! I know everything, losing her will drive you crazy!”

Lexa looked to the background and saw that Echo and Raven were ready to fight. She nooded shortly. Afterwards everything went fast, Echo and Raven attacked Ontaris crew from the back, which caught Ontari shortly, that’s why she turned around to see what’s going on and this was the moment when Lexa tried to grab for the blade. Ontari turned around again in rage and with furious eyes and cut Lexas forearm slightly. Its was just a small injury and Lexa didn't even realised it. Ontari fought against her and when Lexa was close before grabbing the blade Ontari was extricating herself and kicked for Lexas leg, which gave in. Both were wrangling on the floor and Ontari was on the top of Lexa, trying to bring the blade to Lexas throat but Lexa held against it until her muscles burned.

Clarke was screaming for help, because she couldn't do anything more than that. Lexa bundled her last strength and pushed Ontari off her, that’s why Ontari fell and the blade slid over the floor to her crewmember. Even now she looked to Lexa with a smile and a bloody nose, she laughed: “Yu gonplei ste odon Woods!” Lexa was ready to crawl to her again but didn't get why Ontari said it, because Lexa was clearly still alive and breathing at the moment.

There was a bang and the door blasted open, several Officers came in and Clarke breathed out relieved. The Officers overpowered the women and held them to the ground. No one was moving anymore. Officer Pike held Lexa down and she hissed in pain. He shouted: “EARLY CELL INCLUSION! I DON'T CARE IF ITS BEFORE DINER! TOMORROW WE DECIDE THE PUNISHMENTS!” Lincoln rushed in and freed Clarke. He also had a cut nearby his brow, but he was looking over Clarke, searching for more injuries, with shocked eyes. “Are you alright?” She was relieved when she was finally free and nooded. The women were brought to their cells already, and she asked: “where is the weapon?” Lincoln frowned: “What kind of weapon?”

Clarke was agitated and said with a nervous voice: “Ontari!! She had a weapon, it was a manipulated toothbrush with a blade! We need to find it Lincoln!” Raven breathed in pain when the Officer pulled her onto her legs again. Clarke with a serious face stepped closer fast and said: “Hey! Don't be so hard to her, she didn't do anything!” to Raven softer and worried: “Are you alright?” Raven nooded and tried to smile at her. “Yeah it’s just my leg, nothing to worry about. You better search for a doctor.” And showed to Clarkes forehead. The Officer brought her out and Clarke heard Becca's hurried high heels steps getting closer. She came inside with a shocked expression and stood in front of Clarke: “Ms Griffin, are you alright? I already called the medics for the women who are more injuried. Do you also need them? I could order more!” Clarke shook her head and said: “I'm fine. But we have a bigger problem, Queens had a weapon and it’s gone now.” Becca nooded still shocked but professional: “We have to do a cell search. Now!”

  
The results of the cell search were negative. The blade was nowhere to be found. Which made Clarke more nervous, because she knew that someone had a weapon or hided it. It means that the danger for the women was still there, even though Ontari was closed up in isolation until everything was figured out. Clarke needed to see Lexa but she couldn't go to her cell because of all the Officers and Becca. She was just wondering why the medics weren't checking her as well. Bellamy hugged Clarke spontaneous and tightly and sighed relieved. “I'm sorry we were failing you. We should have known it was a trap.” Clarke returned the hug and and said: “Don't worry, I also fell for it. How is Echo?” when they let go of each other Bellamy looked at her scar on her forehead and said: “She's at the nurse station at the moment, she has some bruises, but nothing serious. What about Lexa?” Clarke shook her head and looked to the ground. “I dunno. I haven't seen her afterwards and Mrs Sky told me she refused to see the doctor, because in her opinion: everything is fine.” Bellamy smiled a little: “I hope she's right. Let’s get out of here Clarke, it was a rough day.” Lincoln stepped closer, clearly looking exhausted from the day. The medics disinfected his injury and sewed it, like they also treated Clarkes injury before. With mixed feelings they left the prison. 


	12. Lexa is sick/Clarke Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pike is doing his best, to make the life of the women harder than before. 
> 
> Lexa is sick, and everyone is worried but no one has an answer why. 
> 
> Clarke has a flashback of times when she took care of Lexa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I'm finally on holidays, I'm finally able write and post more than before, that's why I already finished chapter 12 before I planned to.  
> as always: have fun and thank you for reading! :)

_**The next morning** _

  
Clarke woke up with a massive headache. She laid in the bed and touched her forehead carefully. She grabbed her phone and checked it for news but to her surprise, there weren't any new messages. She clearly wasn't interested in the new day, she has late shift and Mrs Sky told her yesterday that Police Officers will come today to take the report of offence against Ontari. She had to make a statement that’s why she wasn't curious to work today. The whole night she was tormented from nightmares of the former day. The scenes were playing in her mind over and over again. _How can one person be this manipulative?_ She asked herself. She was shocked that Lexa really offered Ontari to take her revenge without fighting against it. She couldn't even imaging it, if Ontari succeeded her plan.

  
She shook her head slightly and tried to forget about the nightmare, stood up to grab some painkillers against her headache. When she looked into the mirror her eyes went wide, by seeing the scar and the area around in deep blue colors. “Perfect… as if the scar isn't enough.” She breathed out annoyed. Clarke went to the shower and enjoyed the hot water, which was washing away her bad thoughts. Wrapped up in a big towel, she looked again into the mirror and said to herself: “Ok makeup. I need you to do your job now!” and started to over-makeup the colors around the scar. Later she was proud of herself, because the blue color wasn't seen anymore, just if you take a close look.

  
The painkillers were doing the rest to make her feel better again. She prepared for work and send Lincoln a picture before and after makeup, and asked if she also should do his makeup today. He send a pic back and luckily because of his taint there wasn't more to see than the suture. They arranged a date with Bellamy to have a coffee before work. It was a strange situation because all three of them were outside of prison and the 3 persons they were caring about the most were inside prison.

 

_**Station 1** _

  
The women already finished their first shift at work and had problems to reach the minimum limit, because many women couldn't work because of yesterday’s events. Additional to this, Officer Pike took over the Station and treated the women with a hard handling and tone. Ravens leg was still hurting and she had problems with walking fast, as Pike wished. Luna was helping her as much as she could but Pike didn't let her and stopped every contact. Lexa also didn't felt good, it was like her whole body was reacting to something. She felt dizziness and had a massive headache. She asked to see the doctor because her visions get blurred, but Pike didn't allowed it, because they needed to reach the limit.

  
When they were back at Station, no one was allowed to speak, they just were allowed to pick the lunch and eat at their cells, to prevent an accident with the lost weapon. Octavia was angry when she heard it. She came to the main spot, punched against the bars and shouted: “I want to talk to Mrs Sky about your ways of handling the situation. You can't deny us to see the doctor and having personal interactions!” Pike looked at her with a satisfied smile. “I know you're always thinking highly of your precious Mrs Sky, but I don't care about that. And what do you think what times are coming if she isn't here anymore?” Octavia was uncertain now. She asked back: “What do you mean by that?” He came closer to the bars and replied: “I might have overheard that she got an offer for an higher position.”

  
Octavia swallowed hard, that’s why he continued: “And can you imagine who will be the new boss? I'm positive it’s none of your Station 1 softies. The new boss needs to be someone tough and I am the best for it. I am able to handle you little criminals. And Mrs Sky will realize it too. Especially after your little show yesterday.” Octavia was lost of words, she couldn't imagine a new prison headmaster, especially not Pike in this position. The two other Officers also looking at each other with raised brows. They knew that Pike speculated long to get the job as boss. Octavia blinked and he said: “And now, grab your damn food and go into your cell.” She walked back into the empty dining room to grab her food, she couldn’t believe a word what he said, if this is true it would be the end for them.

  
She needed to tell the crew about it and they needed to find out the truth. When she walked into her cell, she saw Raven sitting on her bed massaging her knee. “Hey Rave, are you okay?” she asked worried and sat down beside her. O placed her hand on her knee and it was overheated and swollen. “Hey can I bring you something to cool it down?” Raven just shook her head moved her knee. “Don't worry, its from yesterday. Tomorrow its hopefully better again. Damn I hate Pike so much, it’s about time to change the shift again.” She stood up and headed to the door. O said: “Wait where are you going?” Raven sighed and watched out of the door gab to see if the Officers are carefully observing the Station at the moment. She closed the door one more time and turned around. “I need to see if Lexa's alright. She wasn't feeling good but those assholes didn't let her see the doctor.” O was alarmed and stood up too, “I'm coming with you. I also got new information’s to share.” Both of them sneaked out of the cell with silent steps and before the reached Lexas cell, someone grabbed her shirts from behind. “Hey you two. Here is a reminder for you: wrong cell and personal interactions aren't allowed.”  
They heard Pike telling with a malicious smile.

That was enough for Raven, she turned around and said angry: “You know what? Fuck you! Are you even a human? She needs help and if you aren't allowing this, at least she needs someone who watches out for her!” It doesn't changed anything for Pike, that’s why he answered: “bring me the weapon and you're free to go and meet your friends.” Raven was clenching her teeth. She hissed: “It’s your fucking job to find the weapon, and it WAS your fucking job to care for that a weapon isn't here at the station in the first place!!” She can't remember a time when she was that angry. Octavia tried to calm her down, but she was too furious.  
Her leg, being separated from Luna and not able to help Lexa were enough for her. Everything combined with Pike was a nightmare for her. She came closer and said: “You know what? I hope the person with the weapon will come for you, so we get rid of you forever!” Pike blinked unimpressed: “So you're threaten me? Maybe I could change the place with you and Queen. I bet she would be happy about it!” Raven laughed and raised her hands: “Sure of course! That’s the best you can do, putting everyone in isolation who dares to speak against you!” Pike grabbed to his handcuffs and said: “That’s enough yo…” but he couldn't finish, because Clarke, Bellamy and Lincoln came to take over the Station.

  
Clarke with a serious voice: “What is this all about Officer Pike? Where are all the women?” Pike rolled his eyes and said: “The inmates are in their cells. I decided it as long as the weapon is missing.” Raven laughed in disbelief: “He's a sadistic asshole, nothing more! Several women asked for a doctor today, but he didn't allowed it. But I don't care about it anymore. He will put me into isolation at least i don’t have to deal with this bullshit anymore.” Lincoln with serious eyes: “Is this true Mr Pike?” Pike moved his head to a yes: “It’s true. Because of the incident yesterday we can’t carry more less people. We can't reach the limit at work and maybe lose our sponsor.” Clarke heard it and just shook her head in disbelief. Bellamy intervened: “Nothing of this is a reason. The safety and health of the women comes first. We need to inform Mrs Sky about your ways to deal with it.” Lincoln: “You can go now, we take over station 1. Have a good day.”

  
Pike huffed, laughed in disgust and turned around to grab his stuff from the main spot. The other Officers were already finished and all of them left the station. Clarke took a deep breath and said: “Are you feeling okay?” she asked Raven and Octavia. Raven was still pissed and snapped: “Sure. Now bring me into isolation.” Lincoln and Bellamy were talking to Octavia and Clarke just shook her head rapidly: “Of course not silly. No one else than Ontari deserves to be in isolation. But he was right with one thing: we need to find the weapon.” Raven calmed down again a bit. “We'll see what we can do, I need to go to Lexa now!” just like Clarke, because it was also the first thing she wanted to do today. But she needed to prepare the main spot for the shift at first. That’s why Clarke agreed and when Raven went away, she recognized that she was limping.

  
Bellamy, Lincoln and Clarke were going into the main spot and Bellamy spoke through the speaker which is connected with every cell: “Everyone is free to leave the cells, enjoy your free time before your second shift and behave, we don't accept situations like yesterday again.” All cell doors opened and the women were happy and relieved. Clarke waited for Lexa to come out, but she was probably happy with Octavia and Raven around. After a while the door opened and Raven came out with a worried face expression. Clarke frowned as she saw her searching for Luna and both of them disappeared in Lexas cell again. Clarke became more nervous, especially when Raven and the crew hurried out of Lexas cell and she heard Lexa shouting: “LEAVE ME ALONE!” Raven was still limping and Luna was caressing her back, probably telling her soothing things.

  
Raven looked up, directly into Clarkes eyes and stepped closer as fast as she could because of her leg. Clarke came toward Raven and met her in the middle of the distance. Raven looked horrified and afraid. She said: “Lexa can't work today anymore. She wanted to see the doctor earlier, but it’s getting worse nearly every minute.” Lincoln already gathered the women for their second shift in the background. Clarke asked with worried eyes: “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?” Raven just shrugged her shoulders: “I dunno, she didn't ate lunch and shouted at us to leave her, she must be in pain.” Lincoln from the back: “Reyes? You're also ready?” Raven turned around and nodded shortly. Clarke looked after her and went to Bellamy and whispered: “Something is wrong with Lexa, I need to check up on her.”

  
Bellamy nooded and overlooked the women. Everyone is alarmed since the lost weapon. Clarke hurried to Lexas cell, as the others brought to work. She knocked at the door, but no one replied, that’s why she sneaked in and asked: “Lex?” she saw her laying in her bed and heard shaky breathes. She closed the door behind her and came closer and was terrified. Lexa looked sick as hell, she was pale like a white wall and had thick sweat beads on her forehead. Clarke went down on her knees to caress Lexas hair softly, since she realized that Lexa was sleeping. She tried again: “Lexa hey wake up.” Lexa opened her eyes quickly and looked into Clarkes loving blue ones, which calmed her down again. She looked up to Clarkes forehead and spotted the scar. She raised her hand and she caressed her forehead gently, she asked with worried eyes: “Are you in pain? I'm sorry I couldn't prevent you from Ontaris madness Clarke.” Clarke was clearly enjoying the touch but was more concerned as she sensed how much strength Lexa needed to raise her hand. She was clearly in pain. “Don't worry about it. It was my fault, because I fell for her trap. What’s wrong with you Lex? Raven told me you wanted to see the doctor earlier?” Lexa breathed out loudly and replied: “I don't know what’s wrong with me. I might have an infect or something.” Clarke continued to caress Lexas hair and it felt like as both of them were teens again.

 

_**Flashback** _

  
_Clarke came from school and waited patiently for Lexa to pick her up, because both of them wanted to go to the zoo today. Finally the doorbell rang and Clarke hurried to open it. Lexa stood in front of her, with a red nose and coughing before she could tell Clarke ‘Hi'. With glassy eyes, she looked up finally and said with a nasal sound of her voice: “Hey beautiful, ready for the zoo?” Clarke stepped closer to kiss her but Lexa moved backwards with shocked expressions. Clarke furrowed her brows and Lexa said: “I'm sorry, but I don't want you to get sick because of me.” Clarke laughed out shortly and grabbed her hand to pull Lexa inside. Lexa had a social project from school today that’s why she haven't seen her the whole day. She missed her every second and didn't care if Lexa is sick. When she closed the door, she pulled Lexa into a tight hug and sighed: “I don't care if you're sick, your virus is mine, and now stop worrying and kiss me.”_

_Lexa still wasn't convicted but Clarke grabbed her face softly and kissed her gently. She smiled a little into the kiss as she felt that Lexa gave herself in and finally kissed her back. When they let go of each other their foreheads were touching and Lexas eyes were still glassy. Lexas forehead was glowing, that’s why Clarke asked worried: “Babe you probably have a fever. What about we delay our trip to the zoo so I can take care of you?” Lexa looked at her with a sad face and shook her head rapidly: “No way! You were so excited. We need to go!” Clarke denied and said: “But it doesn't makes fun when I know that you're not feeling well. We have plenty of time, we can go another day.” Lexa looked at her still sad but she didn't say anything against it. Clarke smiled and sad satisfied: “Go to my room, I'll watch if mom has something useful here.” Lexa nooded and rushed down the hall to Clarkes room. Clarke giggled, shook her head and went into the kitchen._

_She grabbed some fruits and brewed Lexa a tea and followed Lexa into her room. Lexa already laid in the bed, shaking from fever and the ague. Even though it was a hot day, Lexa felt really cold. When Clarke stepped inside Lexa pushed herself up into a sitting situation and looked at her with big eyes like a child. Clarke placed everything on her bed table and handed Lexa some fruits after she slipped under the bedcover. She said: “You need some vitamins and make sure you drink the tea when it’s still hot.” Lexa rolled her eyes playfully because Clarke knew that Lexa mostly let hot drinks cool down until they are cold again. Clarke grabbed her phone and dialed her father’s number, after a few time he picked up. “Hey dad, it’s me. Just a short question: Do you know if mom has some of her soup bunkered?” Jake answered: “Uh good question. Are you okay?” Clarke looked to Lexa who was fighting to drink the tea without burning herself. Clarke caressed Lexas back and said with a smile on her face: “I’m okay, but Lexa has a cold and a fever.” Jake answered caring: “Oh I’m sorry to hear. Wish her well from me and that she has to be healthy again next week when I come back. We still have an open round of monopoly to play. Sweetheart, look into the cooling chamber, it’s the only place I could imagine some of Moms soup. I need to hang up again, we'll talk. Say greetings to Lexa, bye!” With that he hung up and Lexa started coughing again. Clarke hurried to grab the tea so Lexa can cough without fearing to burn herself or Clarke with tea. When Lexa finished, she fall backwards directly onto the pillows and Clarke caressed her forehead softly._

_She said: “Dad wants to play monopoly with you again. And I should tell you to get well soon again.” Clarke loved it when Jake was home and Abby was working. They used to play games the whole night until Clarke slept because Lexa and Jake couldn't find an end. “I'll see if I find some soup okay? I'll be back in a few.” Lexa was totally clingy now, before Clarke could stand up she swung her arms around Clarkes stomach and impeded it for Clarke to stand up. Lexa muffled: “Don't leave please. I guess I will freeze to death when you're leaving me.” Clarke turned around in her arms to embrace Lexa. Lexa snuggled closer onto Clarke and places her head into her neck, her arms tightly around Clarke. Clarke smiled because Lexa was totally in her sick modus now. Even though Lexa was always a tough one, when she's sick, she was just a kid which needed more love than usual. And Clarke was totally happy that she was the one who was able to give Lexa the love she needed. Clarke was stroking her back gently and tried again: “We need to find something to cool down your fever Babe. At least you need to drink your tea.” But Lexa just sighed and muttered: “You're the only thing I need.” Clarke smiled and closed her eyes. It felt so good to hear it, even though Lexa made always sure that she she loved her and was the one for Lexa. Clarke kissed the top of her head softly and continued to stroke her back. She whispered: “I love you Lex. Now sleep, regain some strength.” Lexa was already half asleep but she returned: “I love you too.” Quietly, but loud enough for Clarke to hear. She didn't knew when, but Clarke also felt asleep soon after Lexa._

_**Flashback end** _

 

Clarke smiled, closed her eyes shortly and shook her head to come back to reality. “I could call the doctor if you want to?” she asked and Lexa shrugged her shoulders. She was close before falling asleep again, when Clarke was caressing her this gently. She lost the strength to hold up her hand any longer and it fell down onto the bedcover again. Clarke looked down to her arm alarmed and also Lexa was terrified. She fought her body into a sitting position and Clarke stabilized her with a tight grip. Lexa felt the dizziness in her head again, that’s why she grabbed the edge of the bed hard and swung her legs above the edge.

  
Clarke didn't knew Lexa could became more paler than before but to her surprise she did. She made sure that Lexa didn't lose her conscious and grabbed for her radio phone. “I need to tell Mrs Sky to delay the appointment with the police officers.” Lexa took a deep breath and asked: “What appointment?” Clarke answered: “I need to report the offence from Ontari and I want you to give also a statement.” Lexa looked at her, her visions blurry, her head hurting and the dizziness. She get uptight and said with heavy breathes: “Clarke I… I told you…” and she had a massive headache, as if someone stumped a knife into her head. Her hands went to her temples and she was screaming in pain. Clarke was horrified, her whole body was shaking as she asked Lexa: “I'm calling the doctor now. Everything is okay Lex.” She grabbed her radio phone with shaking hands and pushed the button: “I need a doctor here at Station 1. Its… it’s an emergency.”

  
She said with an appealed shaking voice. She looked to Lexa again, who was still struggling with the pain. She breathed heavily and still pushing her temples. Clarke laid her own hands on Lexas and tried to sound calmly: “Lex, I ordered the doctor. Tell me what’s wrong please!” Seeing Lexa in pain made her heart breaking into thousandth pieces, but she need to be strong now. Lexa stuttered: “My head… and my… whole body is burning.” Tears were running down her face and Clarke was trying to calm her down again by telling her soothing things. She sat down beside her like she was in trance and stroked her back gently. A tear escaped her own eye, but she couldn't care less. She whispered: “Help is coming soon Lex. Just hold on.” After a few minutes, which felt like hours Lexa became calmer again, but she didn't say any word. Clarke was busy with soothing and stroking her and whispering calming words.

  
When she thought Lexa was feeling better, she screamed again in pain and passed out. Her body went limp and Clarke was able to catch her from falling down to the floor. Clarkes heart stopped the second Lexa fainted and she placed Lexa down on the bed. She tried to feel Lexas pulse and was glad that it was still there, that’s why she slapped her cheeks softly and begged her to wake up again. More and more tears were leaving her eyes. “you need to wake up, Lexa! Please don't do this to me.” She shook Lexas body desperately: “Don't you dare give up now! I won't allow it.” More tears: “You owe me Lex! Remember the bracelet I gave you? Its written down: Forever ∞ C.‘ and forever isn't finished yet!“

  
She heard hurried footsteps and someone called: “Where is the emergency?” Clarke cleaned her face from the tears and shouted with a crackling in her voice: “Here! In Woods cell.” The doctor and Lincoln came in and Lincoln looked worried. Clarke didn't wanted to let go of Lexa but she let the Doctor do his job. With shaking legs she stumbled to Lincoln, who laid a arm around her back to stabilize her. The doctor was checking up on Lexa and asked: “What happened?” Clarke explained with a shaky voice: “I dunno, she wasn’t feeling well all day. I looked after her and she had massive pain in her head and said it felt like her whole body was burning.” He nooded and ordered an ambulance.

Finally he found Lexas little cut on her forearm, he asked: “What is this?” Clarke and Lincoln moved forward to take a closer look and Clarkes breath hitches. She answered in a monotone voice: “She had a fight with Queen yesterday. She also had a weapon, specifically a blade but it’s missing. Maybe it’s from yesterday.” The doctor was stunned, he never saw anything like that before. Lexas injury on her forearm was dark red with black veins around it. He disinfected the wound and waited for the ambulance.

  
As the ambulance arrived, they lifted her up and brought her to the exit of Station 1. Clarke stood there, still shocked and lost of words. Lincoln sensed what Clarke needed to know, that’s why he asked the medicals: “Where are you bringing her?” One of the medicals looked into the files and said: “Into the nearest hospital. How dangerous is she? Does she need a guard?” they asked as if Lexa was just a patient. For everyone she was nothing more, but for Clarke she was everything. Clarke nooded and said: “She definitely need to be guarded. I'll come with you.” She stated as she found her words again.

She didn't realised that Mrs Sky also was there, until she heard her saying: “No you'll staying here. I send another Officer. I need a whole crew here at the Station after yesterday.” The medicals nooded and brought Lexa out, still unconscious with Clarkes helplessly looks on their backs. She shook her head and turned around to Becca, with tears in her eyes as she lost it now. “Please I need to know if she’s alright!”  
Becca stepped closer and whispered serious: “Ms Griffin. I need your professionalism now. I'm sure it was terrified to see an inmate this way. But for now you need to do your job.” She said impressively. Clarke blinked back her tears and swallowed hard. “Of course Mrs Sky. Excuse my behavior please, I guess I just was overwhelmed from the whole situation. I'm fine.” Mrs Sky smiled now. “Good, I'm glad.”

With that she turned around on her heels and left the Station. Lincoln and Clarke were alone again, but Clarke stood still on her place where she stood. When Lincoln heard Clarkes call, he sneaked away to help, that’s why he came closer and placed his hand on Clarkes shoulder. She started shaking as if the physical contact pulled her out of her trance. He turned her around and hugged her as Clarke broke down shaking and crying in his arms. “Shhh… It’s okay, Let it all out.” He also had tears in his eyes as he saw the tears on her face. After a while Clarke calmed down, her eyes still puffy and red but no tears left her eyes anymore. Lincoln was gone to grab her a glass of water, as he knew how terrified she was. She felt sick and more worse when she thought about telling Raven and Octavia about Lexa. "Oh God, Madi..." Clarke whispered to herself.

 


	13. I'm good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke needs to find Lexa, but it's not that easy as she thought.  
> Thank God nurse Margret is there to help her.  
> Clarke and Madi are glad to have each other and Clarke will meet someone who seemingly wants to earn her trust back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, It took me some time! As an apology it's a long chapter :)
> 
> Have fun reading and don't forget Clexa is endgame!

Clarke sat in the main spot and tried to focus on the files in front of her. But she couldn't distract herself from the image of Lexa in her head, when she fainted. Her breath hitched and her hands started shaking uncontrollably as she thought about it. She watched to the clock and counted the hours until her shift ended. Clarke didn't realize the women, who just came back from work and Raven and Octavia who headed straight into Lexas cell. Bellamy stepped inside the main spot and touched Clarkes shoulder carefully. With a sympathetic look he said: “Are you alright? I heard you call for the doctor, what happened?”

Clarke looked at him and opened her mouth for an answer, but no word left her mouth, but her eyes were watering again. She heard a “Lexa is gone. Where is she, Griff?” from Raven. She turned around again to face her and swallowed hard. Raven looked alarmed as she sensed by the look in Clarkes eyes, that it had to be something serious. Bellamy looked at Clarke patiently, but was curious to get to know what happened. Raven looked into Clarkes lost eyes and tried again quietly but a shaky voice: “Griff hey.What.happened?”

Clarke closed her eyes as she saw Octavia behind Raven, she looked between Clarke and Bellamy. Clarke took a deep breath and was finally able to say: “She… I… I went to look after her and she wasn't feeling well.” She stopped shortly, because the scene was playing in her head at the moment. She was afraid to speak it out loud, as if it’s not true until she said it. Raven was impatiently now: “Clarke! Spit it out!” Clarke looked at her, irritated as she heard her first name. She continued, with more tears building in her eyes: “She had a massive headache and a burning pain in her body. I… I called for the doctor but…” she needed to stop, because her own headache of the scar is slowly coming back again also. Octavia: “but what?!” Bellamy hold his breath, because he hadn't expected something Lexa related. A tear rolled down Clarkes cheek without realizing it. “she… it became worse and worse and she fainted. I caught her and checked for her pulse and… when the doctor arrived, he called for an ambulance. They brought here into a hospital, I don't have any information’s for now.”

Everyone was shocked when Clarke finished. Bellamy said softly: “Everything will be okay, the medics taking good care of her.” Clarke just nodded and looked down onto the papers again. She was in her own world and wiped the tear away fast. Raven looked lost and said: “But how… I mean what’s wrong with her? What did the doctor say? Does he has a suspicion or something?” Clarke shook her head and answered monotone: “He wasn't sure but he found an infected wound on her forearm. I guess it is from Ontaris weapon.” Raven was lost of words, she fought herself not to freak out. She looked at Clarke with helpless eyes: “Griff, let me know when you know more okay?” Clarke nooded and forced a smile, which doesn't reach her eyes.

The rest of the day was a hell of a ride for Clarke. She needed to know if Lexa was alright, she asked Mrs Sky several times if they were any news, but the weren't. It was a depressing and quiet mood at the station, the news of Lexa spread in seconds and everyone hung in their thoughts. Bellamy, Lincoln and Clarke started to close in the women into their cells at time of cell inclusion. Raven was still in Lunas cell as Clarke opened the door. She said in a defeated tone: “Reyes, it’s time. Let’s go to your cell.” Raven stood up and kissed Luna softly good night. Clarke smiled at both of them, but Raven saw that she was exhausted.

Both of them went to her cell and Clarke asked: “Can I organize you something for the pain in your leg?” Raven: “I'm good. Do you heard anything about Lexa?” Clarke shook her head. The station became quieter as more women were closed in their cells. Clarke couldn't wait for her shift to end. They stood in front of each other and before Clarke could say something, Raven looked around and hugged her shortly but tightly. Raven whispered: “I'm sorry you had to see her like that. Thank you for saving her. Without you…” she paused. She couldn't bring herself to finish these words. Clarke had her eyes closed while the embrace and felt relieved as she heard Ravens words.

When they separated again, Raven smiled slightly: “To bad you’re an Officer Griff. You would fit perfectly in our clan. We could rule the station with Luna, O and Lex…” She laughed shortly and Clarke saw the tears which glistened in her eyes. It was a desperate laugh to cover up her sadness. Clarke smiled and agreed: “I would prefer to rule the world with all of you outside of prison.” She winked and said: “have a good night Reyes.” Raven smiled: “Good night Griff. And please, let me know about Lexa as soon as you can.” Clarke smiled and closed the cell door. She breathed in deeply and waited for Bellamy and Lincoln to end the shift.   
Instead of heading to the changing room, she went straight to Mrs Skys anteroom and asked her secretary into which hospital Lexa was brought. With that knowledge she hurried to arrive there. 

 

_**The Hospital** _

  
Clarke stood in front of the hospital and sighed: _Amazing. We'll see how long it will takes for mum to find me_. She took a deep breath and headed into the hospital to find the information desk nearby the emergency waiting room. A young nurse smiled at her behind the desk. “Hey, may I help you with something?” she asked. Clarke looked around and stepped closer with a slight smile. “Hey, yeah I am searching for someone. Her name is Lexa Woods. She was brought in here earlier.” The nurse typed onto the keyboard of the computer and Clarke became more nervous each second passed. She looked up again with a serious face: “I'm sorry, but are you a relative to her?” Clarke blinked and thought: _Why is she asking me something like that? She just needs to tell me her room_. “I'm a friend of her.” The nurse with a apologizing smile: “I'm sorry, in that case I'm not allowed to tell you information’s.”

Clarke panted, she placed her hand onto the desk and tried again. She forced herself to smile: “Excuse me Ms…” she looked for the nameplate. “Ms Amy. I had an exhausting day and got the information that my friend brought into hospital. And believe me, I would love to drive home with the knowledge that my friend is alright. So please: tell me her room.” Amy looked at her apologetic but shook her head: “I'm sorry, I just following strict rules. Plus the visiting times are long done.” Clarke closed her eyes. If she don't want to tell her, she'll find her on her own. She blinked and smiled forcefully. “Thank you. Have a good night.” She turned around and stumped out of the entrance again.

She needed to sort her thoughts and her headache was killing her. Clarke went to the main entrance and looked at the signpost and thought: _She is guarded. There will be probably an Officer in front of her door. It's my only chance._ With that she started her search.

  
Half an hour later she stood outside again. She was looking for an Officer in every Station but couldn’t find one. Clarke moved her hand up to her forehead and sighed : _Where the hell is she…_ She looked down at her clock and recognized it was nearly midnight. She was desperate but it doesn’t made any sense to search with no clues. That’s why she decided to went home again, even though she knew she couldn't rest, she needed to take a shower and regain some strength.

 

_**The next morning** _

  
After a restless night, early in the morning, Clarke called Mrs Sky and reported herself sick, because of her head. The real reason was: she had a horrible night, plagued with nightmares and hours awake. She had dark eye bags and felt dizziness because the lack of sleep. Her hair looked messy but she didn't care. She needed to see Lexa, especially after her nightmares. When she arrived the hospital, she took a deep breath and moved inside again, like yesterday she stood at the information desk and waited for a nurse to talk to. She was impatiently and tapped with her fingertips onto the desk.

“Clarke?” she heard a voice in front of her. She looked up and looked into the face of an older nurse. Clarkes face lightened up and she smiled: “Hello Mrs Margret! How have you've been?” Margret looked at her with a worried face, without answering she said: “Clarke your forehead! Let me take a look…” Clarke shook her head and smiled politely: “Don't worry about it, I'm good. I already saw the Doctor at work. It’s just an ugly scar.” Clarke known Margret from the past. She was like an aunt for Clarke when she was a kid. Clarke spend much time in hospital because of her mother. Margret was still the loving and caring nurse, who watched out for everyone. Margret: “Clarke honey. There is nothing what could change your cute and perfect face of yours. What are you doing here? Shall I call for your mother?”

Clarke opened her eyes widely and answered quickly: “NO! Not my mum please. We aren't in good terms at the moment. I'm searching for someone: Lexa Woods! She was brought in yesterday.”   
Like Nurse Amy yesterday, Margret typed and looked onto the screen of the PC. Clarke saw how she swallowed. Carefully she looked up to Clarke again. She coughed shortly and asked: “Are you a friend of her?” Clarke didn't knew how to answer but she sighed, it was easier for her to tell the truth to Margret, at least half of the truth: “She… I'm a correctional Officer and she is an inmate. We knew each other before and we were… friends. Kind of I guess. It’s hard to explain.” Clarke rambled, because she feared that she won't get any information’s again. Margret smiled politely and said: “You know the rules Clarke. In that case I’m not allowed to give you information’s.” Clarke didn't understand and respond: “Yeah I know that, but I’m also aware it’s just in case the patient is in an critical constitution.”

Margret simply looked into her eyes and didn't respond. After a few seconds Clarke furrowed her brows and said uncertainly: “Wait… she isn’t, right? Please tell me she's okay.” Tears were building in her eyes now and the fear overwhelmed her body. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably and she tried to steady herself by gripping the desk harder. Margret stood up from her chair to step around the desk to Clarke. Clarke shut herself out and whispered: “This can't be real… it has to be a nightmare again…”

Margret grabbed her shoulders softly and said calmly: “It will be okay Clarke, she's in good hands. Now take a deep breath and calm down.” Clarke had problem to focus on her breath, but Margrets presence helped her. After a few minutes, she recognized that Margret brought her into one of the nurses rooms. She looked at Margret with helpless eyes and couldn't understand what she was saying. Margrets lips were moving but Clarke didn't heard a word, her own thoughts were louder than anything around her. _She can't be in a critical constitution. Not now. It’s my fault that she’s here. She got hurt because she wanted to protect me. I need…_

“CLARKE!!!” Margret shouted at her. Clarke looked up confused, her visions blurry from tears, but none left her eyes. Margret again, much softer and careful: “She's alive Clarke. We'll figure out the rest. You care much about her, right?” instead of answered, because Clarke didn't trusted her voice at the moment, she closed her eyes and breathed out loudly. “I need to see her. Please Margret.” She was exhausted. Margret: “Ok. I'll bring her to her if you calm down. We need to be quiet in the ICU.”

Clarke opened her eyes again and furrowed her brows: “ICU?? But what… Oh my God.” She raised her hand to her forehead, always forgetting about the scar. She nodded and said: “I'm good. Bring me to her please.” Her blood turned cold and all her emotions left her body. She didn't dare her emotions to define her.   
Margret made sure one more time that she was alright and both of them headed to the ICU.

 

_**The ICU** _

  
As they walked down the floor, Clarke had problems to breathe. There was a massive tension and by each step to Lexas room it became more oppressive. “Excuse me? It’s not allowed for you to be here!” Said someone behind Clarke and Margret. Both halted and turned around. It was nurse Amy again. Margret rolled her eyes and said quietly: “She's allowed to be here.” Amy shook her head: “No. She was here this night and asked to see Ms Woods. Friends of patients aren't allowed to be here.” Clarke stayed quiet and looked to Margret. Margret stepped closer and answered: “She's her fiancée. She has a right to see her.” Clarke swallowed hard and her stomach turned. Amy blinked: “why didn't she told me this earlier?” Margret: “She was shocked about the situation. It doesn't matter now, what matters is, that she's allowed to be here. Now go back to your work, I got it. Plus: I'll keep in mind that you’re taking your job very seriously!”

Amy smiled as Clarke and Margret turned around to continue their way to Lexas room. “Her fiancée??” Asked Clarke. Before Margret could answer her pager started to make a noise. She checked it and saw it was an emergency. She halted and said: “Her room is at the end on the left side. We sent the guard away because of the rules as long as she's in ICU. I have to go now, we see each other around.” She smiled at her one more time, turned around and left the ICU with hasty steps. Clarke looked after her and continued her way to Lexas room.

She was nervous and afraid at the same time, part of her didn't want to continue her way. Without realizing it she stopped her movement and turned herself to a window on the left side. All the patients had private rooms separated by huge glass panes. Clarkes breath hitched as she saw Lexa connected to different tubes and especially a big tube in her mouth which guaranteed her breathing. Her heartbeat line on the monitor was the only calming thing Clarke could find. Lexa looked pale but peaceful sleeping at the same time.

Madi was already there, tightly holding Lexas hand, her head down the mattress probably sleeping from exhaustion. Clarke couldn't bring herself to step into the room, she just couldn't move and didn't wanted to wake up Madi. After a while she felt a presence behind her. “She… has a sepsis. We gave her several antidotes but nothing is working until now. Her body is reacting to something but we aren't able to find what exactly by now. We took several blood test and waiting for the results at the moment.” Clarke swallowed and tried to calm down her pulse. Everything felt like a bad dream and she wanted to wake up so badly. She hasn't answered, she just didn't know what exactly. She just stared at Lexa and Madi and tried to sort her thoughts. Someone touched her shoulder softly.

“Clarke. We are doing our best to help her. I promise you that.” Said Abby softly. It irritated Clarke to hear those words from her Mother after everything. After a while Clarke said whispery: “Stop lying to me. I know you don't care about anyone else than yourself.” Abby turned her around to face her. Clarke expected her to scream as always but Abby looked at her with apologetic eyes and said: “I know you don't trust me after everything I did. But I want to do better. I'm sorry I didn't realized how happy Lexa made you. I started to see a therapist. I'll prove it to you that I want my family back.” Clarke blinked. And didn't said anything in return. Abby raised her hand to caress Clarkes scar softly. “Does it hurt?” Clarke just shook her head. “I'm good.”

She didn't knew what to say to Abby, she wanted to believe her but she was still hurt. “If you ever cared about me, than save her.” Abby smiled slightly and moved her hand to her pocket. She pulled out a bracelet. Carefully she gave it to Clarke and her blood turned cold as she saw what it was. “She wore it around her ankle. I think it the best for you to take care of it until she's awake again.” With shaking hands she grabbed it tightly. _It's the bracelet I gave to her. Did she wore it the whole time?_ Tears are building in her eyes again as she read it: Forever ∞ C.

Abby laughed out shortly and said: “It’s the bracelet you gave to her right? I still remember how you tried to hide it from me, that you bought it for Lexa. She seemed take the ‘forever' really seriously if she still wore it.” Clarke closed her eyes and said with a shaking voice: “Please stop talking in past about her.” It was to hard for Clarke. Everything inside her hurt. She had the feeling she needed to scream and cry but she couldn't. She needed to be strong. Clarke looked to Lexa again with lost eyes, tightly grabbing the bracelet as if it is the only thing what’s grounding her at the moment.

After a while, Abby said: “You can go inside you know?” Clarke shook her head immediately and answered: “I can't. I'm good.” Madi raised her head up slowly and started talking to Lexa again. It broke Clarkes heart one more time as Madi started crying again. In a monotone voice she said: “She was attacked with a blade. It was probably poisoned. I’m gonna find the weapon if it helps to find a cure.” Abby nooded as she saw that Madi looked to them with a teary face. She stood up and moved to the door to come out. “Clarke?” she said with a teary voice. Abby: “I'll leave you two alone.”

Without answering, Clarke rushed to Madi and hugged her tightly, which made Madi crying even harder. She tried to whisper soothing words but it doesn't reached Madi neither Clarke. “It will be okay Madi. We'll figure something out.” Madi, clinching to Clarke: “She haven't woke up yet… She isn't reacting to me… I can't lose her too.” She was sobbing. Clarke hugged Madi tighter and looked over her shoulder to Lexa. Tears were threating her eyes but she couldn't cry. It was like her body was just functioning at the moment. “you won't lose her. I make sure of finding the cure.”

They sat down onto the chairs in front of Lexas room and supported and soothing each other. After a while, after both calmed down a bit, Clarke asked: “Madi can I do something for you? Should I bring you to your parents or something?” Madi looked uncomfortable to her hands which were placed on her lap. Clarke sensed it because she remembered her reaction when she and Lexa visited her because of her appendix. Madi: “They… they aren't here anymore. They moved to Hongkong because of work. Of course they asked me to move with them, but I didn't wanted to. I can't let Lex here in prison. That’s why I'm all by myself again.”

Clarke grabbed her hand and said: “I'm sorry, I didn't knew about it. Shall I drive you home? Or do you wanna come to my place?” she definitely didn't wanted to let Madi alone. She was aware that Madi was already a young adult, but she needed to made sure Madi was okay, because she knew it was important for Lexa. Madi just shook her head and said sadly: “I don't want to leave her.”

Clarke understood, she didn’t wanted to leave her either. That’s why she nooded. She didn't realized how much time passed but her Mum checked in now and then and Clarke couldn't bring herself to step inside Lexas room, as much as she wanted, she mostly stared on the Monitor which showed her heartbeat lines. She sat in front of the room and Madi was inside from time to time. A nurse showed up and said: “Excuse me? I'm sorry but you slowly need to leave. Mrs Griffin made sure you can stay longer than allowed. But Ms Woods needs to rest.” Clarke nooded.

She felt empty and exhausted, she decided to pick Madi and drive home to regain some strength. She tapped at the window and Madi looked up to her. She stood up and came to the door and said: “why don't you come inside?” Clarke shook her head and said: “I'm good. But we need to leave slowly, a nurse talked to me. What about you come to my place?” Madi looked sad and tired. She didn't answered at first, that’s why Clarke continued: “Look, I now you don't want to leave, but I'm sure Lexa wouldn't be happy if you also pass out. I could bring you here again before I start my shift okay?” Madi nooded slowly. “Okay. I'm gonna say goodbye.” Clarke smiled at her and agreed. She waited and sighed. She still couldn't believe everything was happening right now. She needed to find the weapon as soon as possible.

Madi arrived and both headed out of the hospital and Clarke was finally able to breath again. As they sat down in her car, she switched on her phone again with a huge amount of messages and missed calls. She sighed. As she looked to the passenger seat, Madi sat down and looked like she would pass out of exhaustion any minute. Before answering the messages she drove home. They sat beside each other in silence, everyone deep in their own thoughts. Clarke said after a while: “Are you hungry? We could pick something up?” Madi shook her head. Clarke: “I promise you it will taste better than everything I cook.” Madi smiled. “ I'm really not hungry.” Clarke nooded. “Ok the delivery service already knows my address. We can order something if you're hungry.”

 

_**Clarkes apartment** _

  
As they stood in front of the door, Clarke looked slightly uncomfortable and said: “I didn't expected a visitor, I hadn't had much time for cleaning these days.” The first time this day Madi laughed and answered: “Don't worry about it, you should see mine! Since the exam I'm not in the mood for extra hours of cleaning!” Clarke nooded and felt better. When they stepped inside, Madi saw the painting of Lexa. She stepped closer immediately and breathed out loudly. She raised her hand to touch and move above the colors carefully. “It's not finished yet…” Said Clarke and was nervous. Madi turned around and said: “It's fantastic Clarke! I always loved your pictures. I still remember when Lexa and me visited you and I was watching you while you were painting.” Clarke went into the kitchen to grab two glasses and a bottle of water. She smiled as she remembered these days and sighed: “Yeah I'm remembering it. By the way, are you preparing for your final exam?” and sat down onto the couch.

Madi came closer and slumped down beside her. “Not really. I don’t think Lexa want me to use her case.” Clarke furrowed her brows and said: “Sure she wants! Hasn't she told you?” Madis eyes went wide. “She does?? I didn't knew! Oh God I have to prepare. I'll just starting tomorrow." Finally she felt a little bit happier.

  
Clarkes phone started ringing and she remembered her messages. She looked onto her phone and said to Madi: “I'm sorry, I need to answer it .” Madi nooded and checked her own phone.  
An unknown number was calling her. She pushed the green button and said: “Hello, it’s Clarke!”

the other one on the line: “ _Griff! Dammit! I tried to call you about a thousandth times!”_ It was Raven. Clarke furrowed her brows. “who gave you my number?” Raven: “ _Lincoln of course. I guess I was getting on his nerves, because I forced him several times to calling you. Why aren't you at work? Are you good? Do you know something about Lexa?”_ Clarke smiled and closed her eyes. “I understand. I’m… good. And I found Lexa.” She couldn't finish. She looked to Madi, who returned her look sadly. “ _Ok and? How is she?_ ” Clarke swallowed hard and breathed in deeply. “Don't freak out ok?” Clarke heard in the background: “ _Get ready for cell inclusion Ladies!_ ”

Clarke continued fast: “She's in the ICU. The wound on her forearm has brought her into sepsis. The medics need to find a antidote.” Raven with a shaking voice: “ _But how? Have you talked to her?_ ” Clarke had the image of Lexa in her head. She closed her eyes. And turned herself away from Madi. “ _Reyes come on it’s bedtime_.” Clarke heard an Officer say. Clarke fast: “I'll explain everything to you tomorrow. Take care of you and tell your girls that we need to find the weapon.” Raven wasn't able to answer, because the line went dead. The Officer probably cut the call. Clarke sighed and looked carefully to Madi, who had tears in her eyes again. Madi: “Who was it?” Clarke swallowed hard: “a good friend of Lexa.” Madi: “O or Raven?” Clarke furrowed her brows and then she realized it. Of course did Madi knew them, they were good friends even before Prison.

Clarke smiled: “It was Raven. Everyone is worried about her as well.” They chatted a little longer until everyone drifted in their long needed sleep. Clarke woke up abruptly, as Madi cried out loudly. Clarke stood up from her side of the couch to hurry to Madi. She shook her softly and whispered: “Hey Madi, wake up. It’s just a dream.” She tried several times, until Madi sat up fast and shouted: “LEXA!!” and looked to Clarke in panic. Clarke took her hand and said calmly: “Shhh it’s okay. It was just a bad dream.” Madi looked around with panic written down her face. Clarke: “hold on a moment, i'll bring you a glass of water.” Madi nooded and tried to calm herself down again.

As Clarke came back it was a little bit better again. Madi sighed and said: “I dreamt that the medics called and said she didn't survived it. Afterwards I was in her room and all the tubes were gone. She… She…” She couldn't finish it and Clarke wasn't eager to hear it too. Madi started crying hard and sobbed badly. Clarke pulled her into her arms and closed her eyes. Denied herself to cry. She whispered: “It was a dream. There wasn't a phone call. She will get through it.” Clarke looked at her clock, it was 5am. Her shift started at 7am this day. She said: “Ok look. I'll head to the shower and afterwards I'm doing some breakfast for us okay? I need to start at 7am and I'll bring you to Lexa before I start okay?” Madi nooded and Clarke hurried to the shower.

 

_**A little later** _

  
They stood in front of the hospital and Madi said her goodbyes to Clarke and thanked her. Just before Madi could get out of the car, she halted and said: “I nearly forgot.” she picked out her cellphone and continued: “Give me your number. I'll update you about Lex.” Clarke smiled and gave her number to Madi. Before Madi stepped out, she hugged Clarke tightly and breathed out with closed eyes: “Thank you for everything. Have a good day, Clarke.” Clarke returned the hug and answered: “Take care of you Madi.” She left the car and waved her hand again and hurried into the hospital. Clarke looked after her, until she was disappeared.  
Clarke continued her way to work, with a clear mission in her head.

  
She needed to find the weapon.


	14. Where is the weapon? Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is desperate to find the weapon, but it's not that easy.  
> At least she has a lot of co-worker to help her.  
> She has a conversation with Ontari and things threathen to escalate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no read, but here is chapter 14 Part I :)  
> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos and your patience! :)

As Clarke arrived the prison, she was nervous. She didn't knew why, but she can't stop herself to think about Lexa and wished to feel her, but she couldn't bring herself to go inside her room. Something held her. She was afraid. Everything felt like a strange movie, totally unreal. Seeing Lexa this weak and vulnerable was a thing she couldn't cope with. She was used to have Lexa as a strong person. It scared her, that even Lexa was able to get hurt. She needed to find the cure. She needed to get Lexa back. Even if she didn't knew how it will work out between them, at least she needed her alive to find it out.

She parked her car in front of the prison and checked her phone, if Madi messaged her already. But there wasn't any new message. She sighed. Her biggest wish was to be with Madi right now, to be together at Lexas side… or at least in front of her room, where she could see Lexas heartbeat on a monitor. But sadly she needed to do her job and find the weapon. Clarke stepped out of the car and moved to the main entrance of the prison. As she authorized herself at the floodgate, she went to the locker rooms and changed herself into her uniform.

“Clarke?” she heard a male voice. It was Bellamy. She answered: “Coming!” Even though it was banned, she stocked her cellphone into her pocket and moved outside. Bellamy looked relieved to see Clarke again. He moved in to hugging her and sighed: “I'm glad you’re okay. We were worried about you. Are you ok?” she returned the hug tightly but as they separated, she answered: “I don't know to be honest. I found Lexa in the hospital. She's in the ICU. I was lucky to meet a nurse who knew me that’s why I got entrance to the ICU.” Bellamy took a deep breath, he wasn’t aware that Lexas condition was that critical. He furrowed his brows and asked: “but why is she in the ICU? What’s wrong with her?” Clarke looked to the floor and answered: “She has an infected injury on her forearm. Probably from Ontari's weapon which is nowhere to be found.”

Bellamy with a serious look: “I'm sorry Clarke. Lincoln and me will do our best to help as much as we can.” Clarke looked up and nooded with a sad smile. “I appreciate it. Thank you Bell.” Bellamy returned her smile and both went to station 1. Lincoln was already there and waited for them. As he asked Clarke the same Bellamy asked before, Bellamy stepped in and said: “I'll explain everything to you later. Let’s free the women before.” Clarke was glad, because she also needed to explain everything to Raven and O too. That’s why she decided to free them at first. She stuck the key into the lock and opened the door to find a desperate Raven in front of her. As she saw it was Clarke, her face lightened up and she said: “Griff hey. I'm glad you're back. How is she? Is there anything new??” she asked fastly and Clarke looked around and stepped inside the cell to close the door behind her.

She started telling: “Ok let me start. As I told you on the telephone: I found her but she's in a critical constitution, that’s why she's in the ICU. The injury of Lexa's forearm turned septic. The doctors aren't able to find the cure yet. That’s why I need your help.” Raven and O eyed each other with a worried and serious expression. Clarke continued with a strong voice: “We need to find the weapon, afterwards the laboratory can work on a cure.” Raven closed her eyes and sighed. Everyone was silent, until Raven looked up and asked with tears in her eyes: “What if we won't find it?” Clarke blinked, swallowed hard and shook her head imperceptible. “We need to find it. This is a prison. There is no way a weapon disappear completely without noticing.” O looked apologizing and answered calmly: “As you said. It’s a prison. And nobody wants to get caught with illegal stuff. It will be tricky to find it.” Clarke took a deep breath. Raven stepped closer and said calmly: “We'll find it.”

The door opened and Bellamy looked inside. He was worried about Clarke, because she looked exhausted. Clarke turned around to face him and said: “We need to control the cells again. Maybe we missed out something the last time.” Bellamy nooded. “Okay. Even though the women won't be happy about it.” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and answered coldly: “We're in prison, not in a spa.” Bellamy furrowed his brows because he didn't knew this cold side of Clarke. O and Raven were looking at each other with raised brows and meaningful looks. Clarke turned around to Raven and Octavia again and said: “I’ll keep you up to date, if there is something new.” With that she turned around and head to the main spot.

  
Clarke was annoyed and slowly out of strength. She tried to remember the situation in the bathroom, but she was just focused on Lexa in that moment. She was moving around the station, without knowing to go. She heard Lincoln: “PLEASE HEAD TO THE COMMONROOM TO GET YOUR BREAKFAST. MEANWHILE WE'RE DOING A CELL CONTROL!” The women were scowling but followed the order. Lincoln ordered additional Officer who could overwatch the women while breakfast, when they're searching for the weapon. Clarke were watching the women and Luna smiled at her sadly, her arm around Ravens waist, who also looked like she was deep in her thoughts. At least Raven wasn’t limping anymore and more women were back from the nurse station. The search started and Clarke searched specifically in Xana's and Ontaris cell, but as the cell search before, she haven't found anything either. It made her desperate, but she couldn't give up now. She kept searching until she felt her phone vibrating. She grabbed it and saw a message from an unknown number.

  
_**‘Hey Clarke, it's Madi.**_  
_**I just wanted to let you know, that Lexas constitution got worse. She had a massive fever this night and she cramped. The doctors putted her body into a artificial hypothermia to save her, until the blood results are back. I'm afraid, Clarke.**_ ’

  
Tears were building in Clarkes eyes and her visions got blurry. She was overwhelmed and her body started shaking hard. _This can't be happening_. She was angry at herself that she wasn't by her side. That she couldn't overcome her fear and didn't went into Lexas room and gave her the feeling to be on her side. She raised her hands to her face and rubbed her eyes. She hasn't cried since her breakdown after the medics took Lexa away from her. She looked around the cell and searched for secret hiding places, but she couldn't find anything. As she stepped out of the cell, she looked lost.

Lincoln hurried to her side and grabbed her arm, since she was pale. “Clarke are you ok? What is it?” Clarke looked into his eyes with blanked expressions and mumbled: “we need to find it.” Lincoln nooded calmly and said soothing: “We'll find it. It may take some time but we'll find it.” Clarke responded with a shaking voice: “But we don't have time!” Lincoln swallowed and looked to the ground. “I'm sorry Clarke. Bell told me. If there’s anything I can do, tell me.” Clarke heard high heel steps and a voice: “What’s happening here?” Lincoln turned around and Clarke faced Mrs Sky. She came closer and asked slightly angry: “Why is here a cell search without my knowing?” she asked again. Lincoln: “I'm sorry Mrs Sky. I guess it was my fault. I didn’t thought we need the permission because of the missing weapon.” Clarke stayed silent and tried to look professional and not devastated as she felt. “Of course you need to inform me. We don’t have the enough Officers at the moment to decided those things of your own.” Lincoln looked down. She stepped closer to Clarke and asked: “Ms Griffin aren't you feeling well?” Clarke: “I'm fine. I'm sorry that we didn't informed you. We just wanted to clear the situation to make it a save place again.” Becca nooded and her facial expressions became softer again. “Keep it in mind for the next time.”

She turned around again to go as the women finished their breakfast, Clarke hurried after her and asked: “Mrs Sky? I have one more thing.” Becca stopped again and turned around to face her, Lincoln furrowed his brows. Clarke: “Maybe I could interview Ms Queen about the situation.” Mrs Sky looked uncertainly: “Let me be honest, I don't think she will tell you about it. But, nevermind. Good luck with that, you know where to find her.” She turned around again and was gone. Lincoln stopped up close behind Clarke and said: “What are you planning?” Clarke shrugged her head and said: “She prepared the weapon. Maybe I could at least get to know something about the poison.”

 

_**Isolation section** _

  
The section was depressingly silent. There were 4 high security cells observed from usually 4 Officers and one in a separate room to observe the cameras of the cells. Because of the high sickness rate of the Officers, there were only 2 Guards there at the moment.  
3 times a day, the inmates of the Isolation will get their meals, half an hour per day, they brought to the yard at times the other women were inside. That’s why they didn't had any communication at all. One cell of isolation has a bed of concrete, a toilet and a washbasin. The camera in each cell is behind armor glass, that’s why it’s impossible to use something from this cell as a weapon.  
Being isolated from everything.

  
The Officers eyed Clarke and she explained: “I need to see Ms Queen. Mrs Sky allowed it.” The Officers nooded surly and one Officer went to one door to unlock it.

  
She stepped inside slowly and looked around to find Ontari laying on her bed. She looked desolate and sat up from her laying position. A smile played her lips. “Ms Griffin, what a pleasure to see you. Do you want to take me out of this hole?” Clarke returned her smile forcefully and said: “According to me, you would stay here until your last breath.” Ontari laughed and stood up from the bed to come closer. She just had a white clothes on and said: “Griffin so grumpy today? Are you still pissed about that little scar on your forehead?” Clarke snorted and answered: “You still feeling superior, am I right? I wonder how it will be, when you’re send into a high security prison.” Ontari blinked, that’s why Clarke continued: “Tell me where the weapon is.” Ontaris eyes glistened dangerously: “The weapon is lost? Oh how sad. I bet you want to know the cause of Woods death, am I right?” Clarke smiled and used her pokerface. “Oh Lexa isn't dead. She's in a hospital, yes, but she's pretty much alive.” _I wish it was true._ Ontari stepped closer and was dangerous close to Clarke. “SHE WHAT?? How have she survived it?” That hit Clarke. “Survived what exactly?” Ontari stayed silent and smiled at her angrily. Clarke was annoyed, she grabbed Ontari by her collar and pushed her to the wall.

“Tell. Me. Now.” Ontari laughed and looked to the camera. “Come on Griffin. Punch me. We'll have everything on tape. It will cost your job. A physical attack without a reason.” Clarke pressed her tightly to the wall and clenched her teeth. She would loved to punch Ontari right into her provocating smile. “I won't ask you a third time. Where is the weapon?!” Ontari annoyed: “Why should I tell you? Without the weapon you don't have any proof to send me to a high security prison.” Clarke let go of her and puffed in annoyance and head to the door again until Ontari stated: “She isn't that alive as you told me right? I bet she's sick or already dead.” Clarke stood in place without moving a single muscle. And tried to focus her breathing. Ontari continued: “You heard it yourself Griffin. It was her wish to pay the price. She deserves to be dead.” Clarke turned around fast, pure hate in her eyes and just before she arrived Ontari, an Officer stepped inside and held her back. Ontari laughed and the Officer said: “Enough for now. You better don't anything you regret.” Clarke looked at him without answering and rushed out of the cell.

As he followed her outside and locked the door again, she shouted at him: “Why have you intervened? It’s non of your business.” The Officer shook his head and stated: “It was to your best. Everything is on camera. We can't let Queen destroy us as Officers. She's able to get into your brain and make you do things you might regret later.” Clarke didn't say anything in response. He passed her and sat down on his chair again. She was angry and hissed: “you don't understand anything.” he continued: “yes I do. You wouldn't believe how many times I was about to punch her. Especially her dirty and superior smile.” Clarke eyed him and calmed down again slowly. He was right. She could help with being suspended. After a while she said quietly: “Thank you.” He looked up again and smiled: “No problem. By the way I'm Murphy, John Murphy.” He stocked out his hand and Clarke returned it. “Clarke Griffin.” He laughed and said: “Yeah I already heard from you. You’re getting on Pikes nerves. I like that.” Clarke laughed shortly. Even though she didn't knew him, he was a smart guy. “I need to head back. We see each other around.” She said and left the isolation section.

 

_**Laundry** _

  
She went to the laundry, where Bellamy and Lincoln were observing the women who were working. The mood of everyone was still suspicious. Especially Raven had problems to cope with Lexas constitution. Clarke feared to update her about Lexas health. Lincoln asked: “Clarke, were you able to find out anything?” she sighed and slumped down onto the chair besides Lincoln. “No… I nearly lost it and was about to punch her. She… was sure that Lexa is already dead.” And looked down to her hands in her lap. Bellamy’s hand hit the table and he said through gritted teeth. “Where the hell is this damn weapon?” the women turned around as they heard him hitting the table. Raven looked alarmed and tried to hear something. She stepped closer and knocked. Clarke looked up and went to the door. “Is everything okay Reyes?” she asked and tried to sound as normal as she could.

Raven eyed her and sensed Clarke was hiding something. “Why aren't you telling me? Have you found the weapon?” Clarke felt caught and swallowed. She closed her eyes and tried to form any words. “No we haven't. The weapon has to be somewhere else. Have you found anything?” She asked back. Raven shook her head. “Nothing.” Clarke swallowed hard and looked to the ground. Raven: “Are you hiding something from me?” Clarke closed her eyes. “Lexa is in a critical constitution since this night. If we don't find the weapon soon…” She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. She didn't needed to, because Raven knew what she meant. Ravens face became stoic and she said: “I promise you, we'll find it. Lex can't just… not this way.” Clarke looked up and saw the fighting spirit in Ravens eyes. She turned around and went to the others. Clarke didn't knew what it was about but Raven was talking eagerly and everyone nooded.

Clarke turned back to Bellamy and Lincoln. Lincoln smiled and said: “I love how everyone is working with each other. It would be so easy if it always would be like that.” Bellamy and Clarke agreed and Clarke asked: “Murphy was the one who held me back from punching Ontari.” Bellamy: “Wow I didn't knew he's in isolation section. And especially that he was the one who held you back.” Clarke furrowed her brows and said: “Why?” Lincoln: “He also has a personal problem with Queen. I bet he wants to see her dead.” Clarke was curious now. “what happened?” After checking the women, Bellamy sat down too and started talking.

  
“ Okay I’ll give you the short story. Murphy worked with us at Station 1 3 years ago. He felt in love with Emori, an former Iceclan member.” Clarke tried to remember but she didn't knew a Emori. Bellamy continued: “Emori was an inmate because of drug addiction and selling, but she got clean because of John. Until the day Ontari found out about it.” Clarke listened carefully and recognized that he spoke of Emori in past tense. Bellamy: “In the beginning, she blackmailed her, to use Murphy to bring her drugs inside. She didn't played her game and afterwards it escalated. Ontari made it official and Emori was seen as a traitor. She was outlawed and Murphy was banned of working on Station 1.” Clarke was shocked, she didn't expected this.

But now she understood why he said that he could knows how she felt. “What happened next?” Bellamy looked to Lincoln and took a deep breath: “She was found dead, with a injection in her arm. She died of an overdose. But as she was outlawed you never knew what happened seriously.” Clarke breathed out loudly and couldn’t believe it. She remembered the time as Echo told her about the 3 people who died while being outlawed. Lincoln said: “Afterwards the rules were changed slightly. Of course it’s not allowed to have feelings for an Officer, but if they proof their loyalty to the clan, it’s accepted as long as it won't step inside of the Clans.”

Clarke nooded, because she understood now more and more. That’s why nobody told Mrs Sky anything about the relationships by now.  
There was a knock at the door again, it was Raven again. Bellamy opened it and Raven said fast: “We've had an idea. Talk to Echo and ask her if she knows typical Iceclan places to hide something.” Bellamy's eyes went wide and he turned to look to Clarke: “Of course! Echo is a former Iceclan. Why haven't we thought about it?” Raven smiled and nodded. “And we will search the Station again. Let me know as soon as you talked to Echo.” Everyone nooded and the bell rang for lunch break.


	15. Where is the weapon? Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is working together to finally find the weapon.  
> Echo needs to overcome her fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun on reading Part II :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and giving kudos on the past chapters!

Clarke, Bellamy and Lincoln brought the women to the dining room. Everyone gathered new hope because of the new plan they had in their heads. “ _Nurse station for Station 1 please._ ” said a voice through the radio. Bellamy grabbed his radio and voiced back: “Officer Blake here.” The radio crackled again and someone said: “ _Ms Azgeda is ready to come back to Station again. Please pick her up soon._ ” Bellamy looked to Clarke and said: “I'll go and pick her up. Can you observe the women by yourself for a short time?” He asked Lincoln and Clarke. Lincoln nooded, smiled and whispered: “Go and get your girl back.” Bell nooded and said: “I'll ask her about the secret hidings and if she knows where the weapon could be.” and went out of the dining room again.

 

_**Bellamy’s POV** _

  
He hurried through the corridors to get Echo back. As he entered the nurse Station, Echo already sat in front of one of the medical rooms, ‘guarded’ of an Officer. He was reading a newspaper and didn't dare to care about Echo. Echo's face lightened up as she saw Bellamy, who had his serious face on. “I'm here to pick up Ms Azgeda.” The Officer nooded sullen and drove his look back to the newspaper onto his lap. Echo stood up and stood in front of him, unsure how to react, with a smile on her lips. She missed him the time she was on nurse station. Bellamy smiled shortly and stepped to the side a little, so Echo could move along him to the next lattice door. “Come on, I'll bring you back to the Station.”

He said in a serious tone, not to make the other Officer suspicious. Together with Echo he walked over the corridors and whispered: “Are you alright?” Echo looked at him with a smile: “I'm fine. How is the situation at the station?” she asked. Bellamy ruffled his hair and scratched his head. He searched for the right words and halted his movement. Echo turned around and looked at him worried: “Hey what is it?” Bellamy looked around if someone was nearby but couldn't see anyone. That’s why he grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. He kissed her forehead tenderly and said: “I'm so glad your okay. I missed you.” Echo smiled with closed eyes and responded: “I missed you too.” Both of them enjoyed this short moment of silence and softness between them.

As they broke off each other again, Bellamy took a deep breath and said: “The situation is bad Echo.” Echo furrowed her brows and asked: “What do you mean? What happened?” Bellamy looked to the ground and didn't knew where to start. “Woods is in a hospital. She's in the ICU and has a sepsis.” Echo was shocked: “what?” Bellamy continued with worried eyes: “Yeah she got a cut from Queens weapon. Echo was searching for words, she was afraid to get Ontaris revenge without Lexa. And she was worried about her. She looked at him with worried expressions and asked: “How bad is she?” Bellamy looked down to the floor and answered with helpless and unknowing gestures of his hands: “Pretty bad. If we don't find the weapon, it could be the worse.” As Echo didn't answered, Bellamy continued: “That’s why Clarke asked for you to help us finding the weapon.” Echo furrowed her brows: “What can I do?”

Bellamy said: “You're a former Iceclan member. Do you know any places where to hide a weapon without knowing us?” Echo shook her head in fear: “I… They'll kill me or Sam if they catch me in Iceclan territory.” Bellamy swallowed. Echo in slight panic: “I need to protect Sam, I'm sorry but I can't risk to put him into danger. You need to understand it.” Bellamy fought inside himself, of course he understood Echo, but the situation is complicated now. He nooded and smiled a little bit. “I understand. But if you hear anything let us know okay?” Echo smiled and agreed: “Of course I will.” Bellamy raised his hand to touch Echos cheek, which was still had the bruises. She leant into the touch and came closer to kiss him softly, but both were interrupted because they heard keys. Bellamy looked around, coughed, stepped back and said in a loud tone: “Azgeda! You better do what I say, or you'll end up in isolation.” Echo looked to the floor and played the game, she answered: “I'm sorry Officer Blake, this won't happen again.”

An Officer came through one of the lattice doors, greeted him and passed them. Both of them breathed out relieved, because it was close before getting caught. They continued their way to the station, as they arrived, the women were already there after lunch. Echo realised the strange mood at the Station, Trikru members weren't to be found anywhere which wondered Echo. As Clarke spotted them, she went to Echo and Bellamy with hopeful eyes until Bellamy shook his head slightly. Clarkes face fell and Echo looked at her with apologizing eyes and said: “I'm sorry Ms Griffin. But I can't help you. I need to think about Sam, Ontari threatened me before and I don't want to think about what will happen then.” Clarke swallowed hard and forced to smile. She answered: “I understand. Don't worry, everything is fine.” She went straight away along them and disappeared into the common room. Bellamy looked at Echo with an encouraging smile and whispered: “Take care of yourself, the weapon is still here.” Echo nooded and went into her cell.

 

_**The common room** _

  
As Clarke stepped inside, Raven and the girls were already searching for the weapon. Raven tried to find secret hiding places in the TV. Luna’s hushed voice: “Rave watch out or you'll get an electric shock.” Clarke furrowed her brows and stepped closer to see what Luna meant. Raven was a mechanic genius and was about to unscrew the screws with a knife of the back of the common television. Clarkes eyes went wide and she said: “Reyes. What are you doing?” Raven looked up to Clarke with a cheeky smile and answered: “Looking for places to hide something.” Clarke nooded with a sad smile. Luna touched her back softly and asked: “Have you already talked to Echo?”

Raven continued to control the TV as Clarke sighed and shook her head: “She… she’s afraid about her son. She won't risk it to put him in danger.” Raven stood up in rage: “What?!” Clarke nooded. Raven: “She can't be serious… We'll talk to her.” Clarke shook her head and said defeated: “No, it’s okay. I understand it.” Luna said in a calm voice and with a light smile: “Don't worry, we'll handle it.” Raven was about to storm out of the common room but Luna grabbed her by her arm and made her halter the movement. “I will take care of it.” Raven furrowed her brows: “But…” but Luna interrupted her: “No buts. It’s a topic for the leaders. You are mad at the moment and your temper won't help at all. I'll figure it out.” Raven puffed and looked at her unbelievable. Clarke sensed that she was pissed, but she didn't want to intervene into their relationship because she understood both of them.

Raven: “I am mad for a good reason, don't you think?” Luna nooded: “Of course, I also want Lexa back here, and I know how hurt you are not to be able to help. But you need to trust me with this. If I’m not able to convince her, it’s your turn.” Raven blinked and nooded shortly. She needed to calm down and felt sorry for being that harsh to Luna. Luna stepped closer to Raven and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek and rushed to Echo's cell. Clarke breathed out loudly as she realised that she held her breath the whole time.

 

_**Echo's cell** _

  
Luna stood in front of the door and knocked at it. Echo: “Come in!” Luna went inside and closed the door behind her. Echo sat on the bed and looked questionable to Luna. Luna sat down in front of her and asked: “Echo, how are you doing?” Echo smiled and answered: “Much better. Thank you. Where have you've been earlier?” Luna looked straight into her eyes and said: “We were searching for the weapon.” Echo looked down to the ground and said: “I heard about it.” Luna: “Echo… we need your help.” Echo sighed: “I can’t! Ontari threated me because of Sam.” Luna moved closer: “I understand you. But if we find the weapon, Ontari will send into a high security prison. You and everyone will get rid of her.”

Echos eyes lightened up and she asked: “Are you sure about it?” Luna nooded. But Echo caved in again. “If not she will kill Sam, if she knows I helped you! By the way, I talked with Griffin and she also understands my reasons. ” Luna got short-temperedly slowly and rolled her eyes: “I understand you, believe me. But Sam is save in a foster care. Griffin ensured it. Lexa changed the rules of the coalition, to give you another chance for Sam. And for your safety for a new life.” Echo looked to the ground and closed her eyes. She knew Luna was right. But she wasn't able to answer, because Luna said in a loud tone: “Lexa will die if we don't find the weapon. And you won't survive prison with Ontari and without Lexa.” Echo looked up and blinked: “Are you blackmailing me?”

Luna shook her head and smiled: “I'm telling the truth you don't want to hear.” Echo stayed silent. Luna: “I know you're afraid. But don’t misunderstand me: you are not alone in this. We stand together as a clan. You don't have to worry about it. You are protected as a clan member of Trikru.” Echo was overwhelmed. She wasn't used to treated with respect from a leader. Luna was able to gave her a save feeling, that’s why she said: “You're right, I help! I owe it to Lexa and Griffin.” Luna smiled and hugged her relieved.

 

_**Later the day** _

  
Clarke and Madi stayed in contact the whole time, both nervous about Lexa's constitution. Echo started her plan to find the weapon, that's why she heard around by her former Iceclan members who also changed the clans. She had an idea ass she remembered the day of the incident. Echo looked up from the floor of the bathroom, a nervous Raven beside her and Octavia and Luna who guarded the door. She searched for the bathroom tiles and found one which was loose. She pushed against it and it went open. “Can you see anything??” asked an impatient Raven. Echo shoved her hand inside and searched if there was the weapon but there wasn’t anything. Echo sighed and pulled her hand out of the hole. “Nothing… Dammit.”

Raven shoved her away and said: “Let me take a look.” She pulled her hand inside and didn't found anything either. “Dammit.” She breathed out loudly and looked at Echo with furrowed brows. “she was hiding the drugs in there right? Anything else?” Echo shook her head and said: “I don't know. We weren't allowed to look inside.” Raven looked at the back of the tile and found something: “Hey look. It’s dried blood on there!” Echo took a closer look and also saw it, but it didn't satisfied her. “It could be someone’s blood. It doesn't mean it’s Lexas.” Raven smiled and said: “That’s true, but for now, it’s the only hint we have. There WAS a weapon inside. We need to find who took it out. The person probably has the weapon at the moment.” Echo nooded and also O and Luna overheard anything. O said: “We need a bait to lure the person from the reserve.” Everyone nooded. After a while said Echo: “I could do it. I'm a former Iceclan.” Raven looked at her proudly and hugged her: “You’re on the best way to become employee of the month.” Echo was surprised and said: “Ok but you have to promise that I'll be guarded all the time.” Everyone nooded and they started.

  
Raven and O went to the main spot and informed Clarke about the plan, finally she felt a little bit better to have new hope. Luna was nearby Echo but not so close that anyone would notice. Echo went to her former members and asked if they knew anything about the weapon. But she always got negative responds because no one trusted her anymore. Echo looked to Raven and shook her head. Raven was annoyed and spotted someone who spotted Echo. It was Cece. Raven knitted her brows and thought about it. _Of course, Cece was one of the women who were with Ontari in the bathroom_. She went to Echo and whispered quietly: “I'm pretty sure it’s Cece. She observed you. I have a plan.”

Echo nooded and saw to Luna who also spotted Cece. Raven went to Clarke and said quietly : “We might have the person.” Clarke looked happy to Lincoln and back to Raven. “You need to fake a Cell control. She will get nervous and tries to hide the weapon behind the tiles again. Then the trap is striking!” Lincoln: “Mrs Sky needs to give us permission to do a cell control.” Raven shook her head: “You aren't listening. I said ‘fake'.” Lincoln understood and Raven turned around. She started spreading the news about the upcoming cell control. Some reacted unimpressive, some nervous and some started hiding illegal stuff. Cece rushed down the stairs and headed to the bathroom.

Echo walked after her after a while, but Cece was nowhere to be found in the bathroom. She went down on her knees and opened the tile, but as before it was still empty. “Searching for something?” she heard someone asking. As she turned around, she saw Cece standing in front of her with the weapon in her hand. Echo laughed out nervous and went backwards. “Cece… you had the weapon all the time?” Cece was furious and didn't thought about answering: “you thought you could trick me right?” Echo tried to calm her down. “I know you won't do it.” Cece: “Are you serious? I will become Ontaris right hand if I kill the traitor, don't you think she'll be happy about it?” Echo shook her head and moved further backwards. “Ontari will be send to a high security prison.” Cece was close before her and she answered silently: “But just if they have the weapon which is burden her.”

Before Echo could answer, Bellamy grabbed her arm from behind and pushed her to the tiles and the weapon fall down to the ground. Echo saw to the background were Luna, O and Raven stood, with wide smiles on their faces. Clarke said: “Gladly we have it now!” grabbed the weapon with shaking hands and whispered: “The weapon. Finally!” she putted it into a bag and stood up. With cold eyes she said: “Isolation.” Bellamy brought her away, she screamed and fought and Clarke looked at Echo with tears in her eyes: “Thank you for your help!” Echo nooded and Clarke turned around. Raven made hurried gestures with her hands and said: “Hurry up!” Clarke nooded and rushed out of the station to Mrs Sky.

  
She rushed through the Office of the secretary and knocked at Beccas door until she heard: “Come inside." Clarke held up the weapon and said without breath: “We found the weapon! We need to bring it into the hospital for the cure.” Becca furrowed her brows and said: “How do you know about the sepsis in the first place?” Clarke didn't know what to say. “I… I searched for her… because of her Sister.” Becca didn't understood. She was very calm, but it just took Clarke additional time. Becca: “Ok but what do you have to do with her?” Clarke shook her head and lied: “No I… I felt sorry. And I thought it was important for her to know about Lex… Ms Woods.”

Mrs Sky raised her left brow and said: “Ms Griffin. I just want to inform you again, that it’s not allowed to favor inmates over others.” Clarke shook her head fast and said: “No it’s nothing like that, I know the rules.” Becca didn't answered anything at first, but after a while: “I’m aware that Ms Woods is important for Station 1. We will talk about it again Ms Griffin. Now head to the hospital.” Clarke nooded and rushed out of the Office and shouted fast: “Thank you, have a nice evening!”

She drove to the hospital in full speed, she didn't knew how many red traffic lights she hadn't recognized.  
Clarke rushed inside the Hospital, straight to the ICU into Margrets arms: “Honey, Honey what is it? Slow down!” Clarke was out of her breath and said: “I… I have the weapon to produce the antidote.” Margret took her pager and texted Abby 911. “Perfect Clarke! I already paged your mother! Come let’s go to Ms Woods!” Clarke was relieved and gave her the bag with the weapon.

  
They went into the ICU and Madi sat in front of Lexa's room. As she spotted Clarke, she stood up and went to her to hug her tightly. “I'm so glad you're back.” Clarke returned the hug and breathed over her shoulder, her eyes focused on the slow heart rate of Monitor: 

“Everything will be fine now." 


	16. Spending time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a Flashback of her past relationship with Lexa.  
> Clarke has a conflict with Mrs Sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with the next chapter of the story :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos! 
> 
> I'm more than grateful! :)

_**A few days later** _

The doctors have done their best to find the cure against Lexas sepsis and were successful, but Lexa hasn't woken up yet.   
Clarke laid in her bed, the last day of work before she had her day off. She was exhausted, was pale with dark eye bags and felt dizziness. She can’t remember when she ate the last meal. But she wasn't hungry at all. The whole situation with Lexa, not being able to help, not being able to tell some good news about Lexa to women, everything at all made her weaker. Madi started working for Lexas retrial again, but couldn't focus also. She slept at Clarkes place every now and then but couldn’t rest.

  
Clarke was by her side when she had her nightmares which kept her up at night, told her soothing things, dried her tears and was there for her.   
Madi wasn't there today, because she spend the night at her place, probably working on her last exam without sleeping. Clarke laid in her bed was already awake for hours and looked at Lexas bracelet. She sighed and grabbed it tighter and closed her eyes. She still remembered the day she gave it to Lexa.

 

_**Flashback Lexas Birthday** _

  
_As Lexa was in school and Clarke had a cancelled lesson, she was finally able to look for a present for Lexas birthday. Of course Lexa hadn't any wish for a gift but Clarke wanted to make sure her birthday was special. She went through the city and was looking for a gift and found a jeweler who had limited prizes. She found a bracelet for 98$ and the engraving was for free this day. “Puh 98 $ are a huge amount of money.” She grabbed into her pocket and picked out 25$ and sighed._   
_She turned around and went to visit the hospital where her mother worked. Of course she didn't wanted to ask for money, especially her mother, but her dad wasn't there that’s why she didn't had any other chance._

_As she stepped inside the hospital Margret was rushing through the station with a smile on her face. As she spotted Clarke, she stopped and waved to her. Clarke waved back and Margret came closer to asked why she was here. “Hey honey, what’s wrong? Are you searching for your mum?” Tiny 15years old Clarke nooded her head and smiled in response. Margret grabbed her hand and guided her to Abby's Office. She was at her writing desk and looked up, as she saw Clarke coming in. She looked stressed and forced a smile: “Hey girl. Is everything okay?” Clarke didn't knew how to answer, because she didn't wanted to lie, but she knew her mum wouldn't give her some extra money for Lexa. “Yeah I nearly forgot. I need money for a school project tomorrow. And I didn't knew if you would come home this night.” Abby sighed and answered: “How long did you knew about the school project?”_

_Clarke looked to the ground and shrugged her shoulders. Abby furrowed her brows and asked: “Wait it’s Lexas birthday today right? Is the money for a gift?” Clarke looked up with big eyes and said immediately: “No!! I just need the money for school.” She wasn't feeling good about lying but she didn't had another chance at this point. Abby was looking at her with controlling eyes and said: “Good then… how much do you need?” Clarke breathed in deeply and looked straight into her eyes with a serious face: “90 $.” Abby nooded shortly and grabbed for her purse. She pulled out 100 $ and slid it over her desk to Clarke. Without looking at her: “have fun tomorrow, I’ll come back probably at midnight. We'll see tomorrow.” With a happy feeling, she grabbed the money and was glad that her mother didn't asked any more questions. She thanked and said her goodbyes to rush to the jewelry again._   
_She stepped inside of the jeweler and greeted the seller friendly. He smiled back at her with soft eyes behind his glasses. He was an old man with a white beard and blue eyes. His hair was gone except for a few thin hairs at the sides of his head._

  
_“Welcome in my shop young Lady. Are you looking for something special?” he asked and Clarke started: “Hello, I’m looking for a bracelet with a engrave. I saw the offer outside.” He smiled knowingly and grabbed a box with several bracelets. “I have a few here, but they're expensive. It’s original silver and the engraving is for free today.” She looked through the bracelets and grabbed one. She was shocked as she looked down at the prize: 130 $. She swallowed hard and looked at it silently. The seller said: “Have you chosen this one?” Clarke smiled sadly and said: “Yeah I would love to buy this one. I thought it was 98$? I guess I don't have enough money at the moment.” She looked down and sighed. The old man smiled compassionately at her and asked: “How much money do you have?” Clarke looked up and grabbed for the money in her pockets and showed him._

_He smiled and nooded: “It’s a gift for someone special, am I right?” Clarke nooded her head repeatedly and said: “Yeah it’s a birthday gift for someone really special. The Person showed me the feeling of being loved. And I want to give something back, you know?” the old man agreed: “I understand. But you know, sometimes it’s not material to give something back.” Clarke smiled: “You’re right Sir, but I want something eternal, something special for someone special.” He didn't answered immediately and after a while he sighed: “Okay I guess I can't step in-between something special. How about: you'll give me 100$ and we're fine. As a gift, because you're my youngest costumer here.” Clarkes face lightened up and she said unbelievable: “Oh my God thank you so much Sir! You're the best!” He smiled satisfied and turned around with the bracelet to a machine. He asked over his shoulder: “what do you want me to engrave for you?” Clarke thought about it shortly and answered: “Forever, an infinity symbol and a C. Please.” he nooded and started to engrave the signature. "You can go and come again in a half hour. It will take sometime.” Clarke: “Okay thank you, I’ll come back later.” She went outside to the streets and walked through some shops. She used the time to buy some more stuff, as she had 25 $ left to buy additional birthday stuff. Clarke knew how much Lexa loved candles, that’s why she bought several ones to surprise Lexa._

_She knew Lexa hated her birthday, but Clarke loved birthdays, that's why she wanted to do her best to make Lexa fall in love with birthdays too. The next stop was a shop where she could printed a picture. She picked a picture of Madi and Lexa when their were cuddling, chose a picture frame and headed back to the jewelry. When she walked inside the old man already smiled at her softly. He gave her the bracelet and Clarke was stunned. “It's so beautiful!” she breathed out and looked up with shining eyes. She pulled the 100$ out of her pocket and said: “Thank you so much for everything!” He took the money and said: “I hope it will last forever for you! Have a nice day little Lady.” She said goodbye and headed home as soon as she could. She sent Lexa a text:_

  
**_‘Hey Babe, meet me at home after school, missing ya Xo'_ **

  
_She smiled as Lexa replied:_

  
**_I'll hurry up. Miss you and love you, but promise: no surprises._ **

  
_She laughed out shortly and just replied:_

  
_‘ **Love you too ;) can't wait for you to get home. Xo'**_

  
_She prepared everything for Lexas arrival. She placed the candle onto the table in a heart form, the picture in the middle. She felt facilitated to knew that her mom will not be back before midnight, this meant much time for Lexa and her._

  
_The bell rang and she hurried to open the door. She opened it and pulled Lexa inside to kiss her softly. After they were separated again, both catching their breath, Clarke gave a peck on her lips and smiled as she whispered: “Happy birthday again my love.” Lexa smiled shyly and stated: “You already said that this morning. But thank you anyways!” She kissed her softly again and both of their lips were fighting for domination. After a while, their foreheads rested against each other and Lexa whispered: “You’re the only gift I need for my birthday. You're more than enough for me.” Clarke smiled bashfully with butterflies going wild inside of her stomach and said: “Close your eyes.”_

_Lexa sighed slightly stressed, because she didn't liked it to be in focus, but closed her eyes like Clarke said. Clarke grabbed her hand and guided her to the living room in front of the table: “Open your eyes.” Lexa stood in front of the table, overwhelmed of her feelings. Clarke saw the tears which built in Lexas eyes. She whispered: “Clarke…” But Clarke shook her head with loving shining eyes. “Stretch out your arm Babe.” Lexa looked confused stretched her arm out and Clarke pulled out the bracelet to put it around Lexas wrist. Lexa looked down, stunned with big eyes and drove with her fingers above the silver. “Clarke. It must have cost a huge amount of money. I… I dunno what to say.” Lexa was lost and continued: “I… could pay it back if you want me too.” Clarke laughed out loudly, which earned more confusion from Lexa. Clarke: “You're such a sweet dork Lex. It's a gift. Just… take it.”_

_Clarke was aware that Lexa was unable to take gifts because she wasn’t used to it. In the foster care nobody celebrated birthdays, that’s why Clarke wanted to make it special for Lexa this time. She looked at Clarke with big eyes and went closer to the table. “Wow look Clarke, it’s a heart of candles, I love it! And the picture is so beautiful!” She was like a child now and if warmed Clarkes heart to see Lexa this happy. She turned around again with a big smile on her face. She came closer to Clarke, hugged her tightly, lifted her up and swung her around a few times. Clarke was laughing, same as Lexa and they were enjoying this moment of love and happiness between them. When Lexa let her down onto her feet again, she kissed her passionately and deepened the kiss fast. Their bodies tightly pressed against each other and never wanted to let go of the other. Lexa whispered with a soft voice as they broke apart : “I take you by the word and love you as long as you let me! Thank you Clarke!” enjoying the time together was one the main things they’ve done the whole afternoon and evening this day. Much of kissing, cuddling and more._

_**Flashback end** _

 

Clarke sighed deeply and carefully laid the bracelet back into the coffer . She missed those times of happiness. Still overwhelmed that Lexa still had the bracelet. She stood up slowly and made herself ready for work. Lincoln and Bellamy also recognized that Clarke changed. They were worried about her, but didn't knew to help either. That’s why they tried their best to make her at least eat, which she denied most of the time. 

 

_**At Station 1** _

  
She had early shift today and Lincoln and Bellamy were already there when she arrived. “Good morning Clarke.” Said Lincoln friendly as he spotted Clarke who arrived Station 1. She smiled at him weakly and stepped inside the main spot. Lincoln stood up to hug her, which she returned softly. Bellamy was probably already opening the cells and started with Echos. He always tried to use the time for them to be alone useful as much as he could. “How are you feeling Clarke?” asked Lincoln and she answered: “I don't know to be honest. I'm feeling weak. It’s hard to know that I can't do anything to help.” Lincoln nooded. “I can imagine this. Are there any news about Lexa?” Clarke shook her head: “No… she hasn't woken up yet. My mum don't know what’s wrong, she always tell me be to be more patient, nothing more.” Clarke smiled and continued: “It’s about Lexa now to wake up when she's ready.”

Lincoln smiled sadly: “She will wake up. She's a fighter. Don't lose hope.” Tears were building in Clarkes eyes and before they were ready to drop, Bellamy came inside with a smile on his face, until he saw Clarkes eyes. He went down on his knee so he was at the same eye level as Clarke. “Is everything alright?” Clarke forced a smile and replied: “it will be. “ Bellamy smiled and agreed. They started to open the cells and freed the women. They placed themselves into a line for the morning call. Clarke recognized a missing Raven, that’s why she ask O: “What about Raven?”

O shrugged her shoulders and said: “She isn't feeling good. She don’t want to come out.” Clarke furrowed her brows and gave Bellamy a sign to start without her. She went into Ravens and O's cell and Raven laid onto her bed. “Reyes what is it? Do you need a personal invitation?” Raven rolled her eyes and answered: “I don't care. I won't come out until I know how Lexa is doing.” Clarke stepped closer and sighed. “I already told you about that yesterday. It’s not my fault that she hasn't woken up yet. I promise I will tell you immediately when Madi is texting me.” It hurt Clarke to see Raven this way. Raven was usually a tough and strong young woman with her heart on her tongue. She sat down onto the chair nearby and Raven pushed herself up into a sitting position. She looked at her desperately: “Have the doctors really tried everything to bring her back? Have you talked to her? Has she reacted to your voice or something?”

Clarkes face went down to the floor. She felt inhibited to answer and closer her eyes when she was searching for words. Raven saw her struggling and after a while said Clarke: “I still wasn't in her room. I… just can't. I'm afraid something will happen and I can't help.” She was finally able to speak it out loud. Raven furrowed her brows: “What? Griff. If it would be Luna I would spend every second with her, to let her know I’m right beside her.” Clarke sighed and shook her head, with glistening eyes she answered and looked down onto her hands in her lap: “I know that! And I know that I am failing her. I should have known better…” Raven grabbed her hand softly and squeezed it, which made Clarke look up into Ravens eyes. “You aren't failing her. It’s okay to be afraid Clarke. I'm also afraid! It don't make us less strong.” Raven smiled at her slightly and continued: “It's not over yet. You can still be there for her and use the time to be with her. She will know.” Before Clarke could answer anything, they heard noises outside of the cell.

“WHERE IS GRIFFIN?!” shouted somebody. It was Pike. Clarke stood up and Raven also, until Pike stormed inside and said: “What is this all about?!” Clarke was annoyed and answered: “She wasn't feeling good and I wanted to make sure she's ready for work. What can do for you?” He had a mischievous and devilish smile on his face and said snootily: “Ms Sky asked for you and it’s my pleasure to bring you this information. Mr Murphy is also there. Have a nice day Mrs Griffin.” And turned around to leave the Station again. Clarke grabbed the chair because she felt dizziness surrounding her head. It was clearly to much for her. Raven touched her shoulder and asked: “Is everything okay?” Clarke smiled: “I'll work it out. Now let’s go, you need to eat breakfast.” She nooded and both of them left the cell, the morning call was completed and the women went to the common room for breakfast.  
Clarke informed Lincoln and Bellamy about Mrs Sky and made her way to the Office. 

 

_**Mrs Sky's Office** _

  
She knocked at the door and stepped inside to see Murphy and Ontari sitting in front of Mrs Sky who clearly looked pissed. Clarke swallowed hard as Ontari turned herself to her and winked. “You asked for me Mrs Sky?” she asked unimpressive. Becca nooded shortly and showed to a chair for her to sit down. Clarke sat down between Ontari and Murphy and no body said a word for a little while. Murphy started in a annoyed voice: “Ok Mrs Sky, why are we here?” Becca started quietly: “You are here because…” more louder: “I don't understand why Mr Pike have to inform me about an incident in Isolation! He showed me the video from the security camera. What happened there?” Clarke looked down, Murphy swallowed hard and Ontari looked straight into Mrs Sky's eyes smiling. Nobody answered. Mrs Sky more forcefully: “What.happened.in.there?!”

Murphy started and looked shortly to Clarke: “In my opinion there wasn't any to inform about. It was just a disagreement.” Clarke was glad he was partying with her. Ontari laughed shortly and rolled her eyes. Becca stood up, angrily and moved through her Office. “DISAGREEMENT? An Officer grabbed an Inmate without a reason of threat and pulled her to the wall. You don’t think you need to tell me this?!” nobody dared to speak, she came to Clarke and asked: “Ms Griffin what was that about?” Clarke looked up and said: “I lost my temper. She was non-cooperative. And I just lost it because I wanted to find the weapon.” Mrs Sky stayed silent. She sat down again and asked Ontari: “Ms Queen, do you have anything additional to say?” Ontari smiled and said: “Nothing happened. But maybe Ms Griffin is a little bit to sentimental when it comes to special inmates.”

Clarke looked to Ontari and clenched her teeth but didn't say anything. Becca: “ I already sensed something like that.” Murphy stayed quiet and Clarke closed her eyes shortly. Becca again: “Mrs Griffin, I’m asking you one more time to practice professionalism. Is there something going on between you and the inmates?” Clarke looked at her caught, her emotions were unbearable. She took a deep breath and lied: "No Mrs Sky. There is nothing going on.” Ontari laughed out and shook her head. But she didn't said anything, which surprised Clarke. But then she remembered the rules of the women.

  
Becca nooded and said: “We are finished then. Head back to your Station please. Ms Queen, you'll come out of isolation tomorrow, until the facts are figured out.” Clarke looked at her unbelieving. “Are you serious?” Becca with challenging eyes: “Are you questioning my decisions?” Clarke swallowed, shook her head and said: “No I won't Mrs Sky. Have a nice day.” With that she left the Office and head back to the laundry room, where the women already were working. She told Bellamy and Lincoln that Ontari would come back tomorrow and was glad when she was able to finish her work today.

 

_**After work** _

  
Clarke drove to the hospital as always after work and went into the ICU. As always Madi was by Lexas side and told her different things and Clarke stood in front of her room and took a deep breath. Her whole body was shaking and she stuck out her arm to the doorknob and opened the door slowly and stepped inside with insecure steps. Madi looked up and her face lightened up: “Clarke! Hey! I'm glad you’re here.” Clarke stood in the door and forced a smile. “Yeah I'm here. And I won't go away. You can drive home and sleep.” Madi smiled gratefully and kissed Lexa on her cheek: “See you tomorrow Lex.” Stood up and hugged Clarke tightly. “Take care of her.” Clarke nooded and was alone with Lexa. She breathed in deeply and stepped to Lexas bed slowly and with shaking legs. She sat down, took Lexas hand carefully and said with a shaking voice and tears in her eyes:

“Hey Lex… I'm here.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is finally able to be at Lexa's side, we'll see if Lexa will react to her. :)


	17. Clarkes Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a Nightmare and in the end something will happen, something she wished for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a new chapter! :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and kudos! You're the best!

“Hey Lex… I'm here.”

  
She grabbed Lexas hand tightly and was overwhelmed of her feelings. Seeing Lexa this close, smelling her scent, touching Lexas soft skin. More and more tears were building in her eyes as she looked into Lexas peaceful sleeping face. She always checking on her heart rate monitor and how slowly Lexas heart beat. She looked like she would just wake up any minute. “Lexa?” Clarke started as she caressed her hand and continued: “I'm… so sorry I wasn't by your side. I…” Her voice broke and she started crying. Finally cried out all the emotions which where luring inside of her for the last couple of days. “I…” she tried again, but instead of words, she sobbed loudly and clinched Lexas hand desperately and let the tears fall free.

She didn't knew how long, until she calmed down again but she needed to let Lexa know she was there. She dried her tears and started again: “I was so afraid to come inside your room Lex, I stood always in front of it. I couldn't help. But I was here as much as I could.” Lexas heart rate increased a little bit and Clarke looked at the monitor with furrowed brows. She talked further: “The women are worried about you Lex. Especially Raven is having a hard time.” As she thought about Raven she laughed out a little bit with a teary voice: “She unscrewed the television in the common room with a knife, I didn't knew she was a mechanic genius.”

  
Lexas heartbeat increased again for a little time. Clarke moved closer to caress Lexas cheek softly. It calmed her down to feel her again, to feel that she was still alive. She continued: “I told Madi that you want to do the retrial, because it came into my mind that you probably weren't able to tell her. She's such an angel Lex, you owe her heart.” She took a deep breath and cleaned her face from the tears: “She’s positive that you have a chance to release of prison, like Octavia and Raven.” She felt a knot in her throat slowly building again: “But you… you need to wake up for the retrial.” A tear ran down her cheek again and she continued with a shaking voice: “You need to wake up for everyone. We are waiting for you to wake up.” Clarke looked to the monitor and didn't saw a changing. She probably just imaginated her increased heartrate earlier. She held Lexas hand and raised it to her mouth to kiss it gently: “You need to wake up for me. Let me see those beautiful green eyes of you again.” Clarke felt a movement at her lips, which made her crying again. Beep…beep…beep… beep.beep.beep. Lexas heartrate increased from slowly to fast again shortly. Clarke closed her eyes and let the tears fall free. She grabbed tightly to Lexas hand and sobbed: “I already lost you one time… I can't bear it to lose you again.”

  
She didn't know how long she cried and begged Lexa to come again, but eventually she fell asleep. Her eyes tired from crying, her body weak from the lack of eating and sleeping. 

 

_**Clarkes Nightmare** _

  
_As always she went to Station 1 and everything was quiet. She wasn't able to find anyone, no Officer, no inmate, that’s why she went to the common room. She found some women, bitterly crying. She furrowed her brows and went closer to spot Raven who was hugged by Octavia. Luna stood beside her and spoke soothing words. One woman looked up and clapped her hands, as she saw Clarke moving closer. More and more women were looking at her, until Raven watched her with hateful eyes and Octavia turned around. Octavia ran to her and packed her by her collar and hissed: “Are you happy now?” Clarke wasn't able to fight against her and asked back : “What do you mean?” she spotted Bellamy and Lincoln who were watching her with sad eyes, but didn't intervened. Raven stepped closer, her makeup hazy probably from crying._

_Raven: “We are asking if you are happy now?!” Clarke furrowed her brows more and raised her hands to fought against Octavias grip, but she wasn't strong enough. “Don't touch her O, you know what happens if people get closer to her.” With a disgusted look, O let go of Clarke and stepped back from her. Clarke shook her head, overwhelmed of her feelings and asked Raven: “Rave what happened? What is this all about?” Fresh tears gathered up in Ravens eyes and she spitted with rage in her voice and raised up her index finger as a warning: “Don't you ever use my nickname again. Lexa died because you didn't listened to her. She's dead because of you!!” The pain in Clarkes heart was unbearable. It felt like someone plunged in a knife into it and turned it around 180 degrees. She had the feeling as if she had a thick rope around her throat, which made it hard for her to breath. She whispered weakly: “No… no… I never meant to. She can't be dead.” Raven: “Yeah she is. I’ll never forgive you for taking her away from me! She was my best friend!!” Raven broke down crying in pain. Someone stepped up behind her and said: “Enough with the crying here. The Station is mine now.” Clarke turned around and looked into Ontaris satisfied and smiling face. Clarke had problems to catch her breathing, hyperventilated and passed out._

  
**_Next Dream_ **

  
_Clarke woke up in a city with huge buildings everywhere around her. She looked around and tried to figure out where she was. It looked like ‘The City of Lights'. The city of which Lexa told her about when Clarke had problems to get to sleep when they were together years ago. Lexa always used to tell her stories of the City and Clarke was in her own world. In a world of happiness, lights and peace._

  
_But Clarke couldn't find any light now. All the people looked stressed, angry and sad. The buildings were in a monotone black and grey tone, no lights were shining through the windows. The sky was also dark, because thick grey clouds were hanging deep down the city. Every now and then she could see light grey fog which blurried the visions more. All the trees had lost their leaves and the only thing what was left was the skeleton of boughs. Clarke looked around and started walking down the streets, as she spotted someone who she had missed so much. “Lexa?!” but she didn't halted her movement and went straight to the rushed people. Clarke tried to catch up with her, but there were to many people between them, until Clarke lost her view again._

  
_She continued her way, still trying to figure out, which way Lexa chose, but in the end she sighed deeply and raised her hand to her forehead desperately. “Shit…” she whispered. She looked around and saw closed stores around her. In her imagination it was a City full of Life, but now everything was gone, everything looked dead. As she moved forward again, she saw Octavia standing at a wall on the street. Clarke hurried, because she was afraid that O will also disappear like Lexa. She stopped and O looked at her with an unemotional face and dark eye bags. “Hey O, have you seen where Lexa went?” asked Clarke, but O didn't looked up to her. O answered: “She's gone. And soon the city will be gone too.” Clarke didn't understand. She answered: “No I just saw her walking down the street.” O continued in a monotone voice: “ everything is gone and it’s not coming back again.” Clarke furrowed her brows. O was scaring her. She said: “Okay Octavia. Take care of you, I'll find her on my own.”_

_O looked up, Clarke smiled at her and continued her way. She didn't knew how long she walked and the City looked more and more like a ghost town, until Clarke saw Lexa crossing a street again, she cried out loudly: “LEXA!!! WAIT PLEASE!” Everyone was looking at her with unbelieving eyes, as if she said something bad. She murmured a quiet: “Sorry!” and ran after Lexa, but just like before, she lost her. Clarke stood in front of a shop with a newspaper at the store and read a big headline: “Yu gonplei ste odon, Heda.” She didn't knew what it meant but she stared down at a picture of Lexa. She grabbed it tightly and took a deep breath in. **What is happening here?** Was her thought but she needed to find Lexa. She remembered, as Lexa told her that the people of the City of Lights are speaking their own language to be invulnerable for other people. _

_When she wanted to pay for the newspaper, the old female seller said in a sad tone: “Take it, you don't have to buy. Money means nothing compared to a Life.” Clarke furrowed her brows and didn't answer anything, until the seller looked into her eyes and said: “You need to hurry, once the city is destroyed there is no coming back for her.” Just before Clarke was able to answer anything, the earth was quaking and there was a panic mood for everyone. That’s why the seller left the store to run into a building as fast as she could. The quake was short but intense, just for a few seconds, but enough to worry the people, especially Clarke after the words of the woman. She stabilized herself after the quake and moved forward again with the newspaper in her hand._

_She came to a grey park and spotted Luna and Raven. She stopped and Raven asked: “Griff what are you doing here?” Clarke answered breathlessly: “I'm searching for Lexa.” Raven blinked and stood up from her sitting position: “You're to late.” She simply stated, unemotional as the others. Clarke was slowly losing her temper and said: “What do you mean?? You're clearly the first person who’s talking TO me without… I don't know just talking.” Raven also had black eyes: “Because you're the reason… you're the reason why the City of Light will fall apart into ashes.” Clarke swallowed hard and answered desperately with wet eyes: “But I don't know what I’ve done. Tell me, so I can work this out.” Luna was barely looking at her, like she was afraid. Only Raven said: “If Lexa is dead… the whole city is. The city of lights are or were Lexas safe place. And she invited you by telling you stories about the COL. But she died while protecting you.” Clarke swallowed hard, nearly about to cry and answered: “This isn't real. I just saw her!” She looked down at the news paper and showed it to Raven with shaking hands: “What does it mean?” Her voice was shaking and she realised that she was probably the only person here who can feel emotions. “Your fight is over, Commander. Is written there.” Clarke looked at her shocked and couldn’t believe her ears. “No… I won't accept it.” Raven just shrugged her shoulders and said: “Of course you can. You’re responsible.”_

_Something caught Clarke in this moment. She looked up into Ravens eyes with fire and said: “I saw her here. She isn't dead. The city is still here. You're still alive. If Lex is gone, the city would be destroyed.” As she finished, she spotted Lexa again, and didn’t wait for Raven to respond. She hurried after Lexa and found her slipping into a building. **This is my chance.** Was Clarkes thought and followed her inside. _

_She found herself in a kind of gallery. Everywhere were drawings of Lexa. Clarkes drawings. Lexa stood in front of Clarkes newest, with her back turned to the door. Clarke stepped inside carefully and asked: “Lexa?” But she didn't answered immediately. That’s why Clarke stepped closer and tried again: “Lex?” she saw Lexa, who raised her shoulders by taking a deep breath. But finally, she turned around and Clarke was able to look into her green wooden like eyes again. Clarke breathed out loudly and moved forward to grab Lexas face and kissed her desperately. Tears were streaming down her face, but she didn't let go of Lexas lips, especially as she felt that Lexa was returning her kiss willingly. She felt Lexas hands on her body, from her hips to her shoulders. As Clarke broke away from Lexa, she leant her forehead to Lexas and she stated in a shaky voice: “I thought I lost you Lex.” Lexa smiled at her sadly and answered: “It's to late Clarke. I'm not here anymore…”_

_Clarke moved her head back from Lexas forehead and asked nervously: “What do you mean? You’re here. I'm here. I… I can feel you Lex. We are real.” Lexa just shook her head and broke away from Clarke. “I'm sorry to put you through this. I'm gone. It's to late…” Tears were streaming down Clarkes face now. She tried to grab Lexa , who was slowly moving backwards. Her body more and more invisible. Clarke moved her hand through the air, where she saw Lexa and cried: “Please Lexa! Come back to me! I need you! STAY!!!!” but Lexa was gone, and Clarke still could hear her words: “I'll always be with you!” Clarke looked around to spot where the voice came from, tears of desperation streaming down her face and she cried out loudly emotional from her whole chest: “Don’t leave me Lexa!! I'm begging you!” Lexa’s voice again, but much quieter now: “I'll never leave you! I'll always be with you.” Clarke broke down onto her knees, crying and shaking with the feeling like her heart was ripped out. The drawings from the wall were slowly falling down and Lexas face faded slowly from the drawings. Clarke crawled to the drawings and held them in her hands, tears were dripping down and whispered: “No… don't leave! LEXA!!” Lexas voice: “I'm here, Clarke!”_

  
**_Clarkes nightmare end_ **

 

Clarke sweated while sleeping and moved around wildly. She constantly mumbled Lexas name, until she cried out: “LEXA!!” and woke up to see into some worried green eyes, she missed so much. Lexa looked terrified and raised her hand to caress Clarkes cheek softly. “I…” Lexa coughed shortly, because after all the time without speaking, her throat was dry. Clarke looked at her with big teary eyes, still can't believing that Lexa was awake. “I'm… here, Clarke.” Clarke shook her head, her face still wet from crying.

She raised her hand to touch Lexas face unbelievable and carefully: “Lexa…” she breathed out her name. Lexa looked exhausted and still pale, but her eyes were shining from love. Fresh tears built into Clarkes eyes and she whispered, still overwhelmed: “I thought I’d lost you!” And started crying. Even though, Lexas was weak, she pushed herself from the bed and grabbed Clarkes hand to pull her to her bed. “I'm here Clarke. It was just a nightmare, calm down.” Clarke laid her head onto Lexas chest, hugged her tightly and felt save again as soon as she felt Lexas arms around her. “I'm not leaving you.” whispered Lexa and caressed Clarkes back, while she grabbed onto Lexas shirt tightly.   
Clarke raised her head from Lexas chest and deeply looked into her eyes. She came closer and overcame the last centimeters which separated them and kissed her softly. Finally, after so much time of worrying and desperation, she finally felt Lexas lips on hers again.

  
Lexa breathed. Lexa was alive. Lexa kissed her back.

  
Clarke felt relieved.

  
Maybe finally, everything will be fine again.

 


	18. Fears and big News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is struggling with nightmares and is afraid that one of them will become true. 
> 
> Big news will change the situations for the Inmates and Officers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me some time and the chapter might be not of the bests, but I hope you'll still like it. 
> 
> Have fun with the new chapter! 
> 
> Thank you for your patience, reading and giving kudos! You're amazing! :)

_**A few days later** _

  
The days were passing by and Lexa felt better day after day. Clarke was relieved because it was her highest priority that Lexa was feeling better. That’s why she was send to a normal station soon, which mean, she was guarded by an Officer and Clarke wasn't able to visit her anymore, at least unseen. The days until then, she spent much time with Lexa, as much as she could. It calmed her to see Lexa smiling and alive again. Observing the interaction between Madi and Lexa made her happy and satisfied. But still, she was hunted by nightmares. Every night she dreamt that Lexa was dead and it was her fault. Even though she knew it wasn't her responsibility, she felt guilty. Lexa almost died by protecting her. It slowly drove her insane. Especially when she dreamt of Ontari and Lexa fighting.

  
She slowly didn't knew how to act around Lexa anymore. Obviously, the critical situation taught her, that she still had strong feelings for Lexa, but her dreams made her vulnerable. And weakened her. They didn't kissed since the the time as Lexa woke up and Clarke had more and more guilty feelings.   
She laid in her bed, most of the night awake and thought about her last dream. She dreamt that Ontari and her had a fight until Ontari pulled out a weapon. Lexa heard the shouting, stormed inside the room and when Ontari pulled the trigger, Lexa pushed her away and got hit by the bullet. Clarke tried to stop the bleeding, but she wasn't able to save her, as always in her dreams before. She closed her eyes and tried to shake the thoughts away.

  
4 days past since she saw Lexa the last time face to face. 4 days of missing. 4 days of fighting her own battles against her fears and feelings. Of course she missed her, but she couldn't risk her job by getting caught of an Officer, that’s why she wasn't able to see her. Her phone rang: Madi is calling.  
Clarke blinked and answered the call fast with a hint of fear.

  
“Hey Madz! Is everything ok with Lex? Does something happened?” she spoke nervous and fast and held her breath until she heard the answer: “Hello Clarke.” Clarke closed her eyes and breathed out relieved. She would recognize her voice out of 1000 different voices. “Hey Lex. How are you feeling?” She heard Lexas smile in her voice and she answered: “I'm much better. If I’m lucky I can soon get back. I seriously can't wait. I bet the station is silent as hell without Ontari and me. ” Clarkes stomach turned around slightly because she didn't wanted Lexa anywhere near prison at the moment, especially since Ontari tried again to gain some members. She knew Lexa would be restless by knowing it, that’s why she didn't told her that Ontari was back until her trial. She needed Lexa to be completely healthy again, or her fear would drive her crazy. She answered after a long pause: “I guess you're the only one who wants to be back in prison again, Lex.” Without talking about Ontari. She heard Lexas soft chuckles: “I know. But I miss my girls you know? And I miss a special Officer.”

Clarke felt her ears started burning like fire, because of the wild butterflies in her stomach as soon as Lexa told her. She felt like they’re in their old times together again. She played with the hem of her cover and answered: “And I miss a special inmate too.” Madi in the background: “Stop it you lovesick idiots. I'm also here!” Lexa started laughing and Clarke too. Its was a lighthearted moment, until Lexa coughed shortly and said: “Yeah, so… we'll see eachother I guess?” she asked hopefully and Clarke sighed: “Sure… but first of all you have to be healthy again.” There was an entered silence between them, because no one wanted to finish the call. After a while, Lexa said softly: “Take care of you Clarke.” Clarke swallowed her hard and answered: “You too Lex. Bye.” And pressed the red button to end the phone call. Of course it wasn't easy to not tell her the truth, but she couldn't risk unnecessary stress for Lexa. She talked with her Mum about Lexas constitution and she told her, that Lexa is stable, but shouldn't exaggerate herself, because her body was still weak, even though she felt better.   
She stood up and got herself ready for work, still sore because of the lack of sleep, but feeling better, because Lexa was fine.

 

_**At work** _

  
Clarke changed into her Uniform until she heard Lincoln calling: “Hey Clarke, are you ready for work?” through the closed door. She checked up herself and closed the door to the locker to hurry outside. Lincoln smiled at her with his warmest smile and hugged her tightly. While embracing, he said: “Its Bell's day off today and I got a message for a team meeting with Mrs Sky. Do you also got the message?” Clarke furrowed her brows and let go of him: “I didn't checked up my mails a few days ago. But thank you for letting me know. When is it?” Lincoln looked down on his clock: “In about a half an hour. I'm curious what it’s all about. Are there any news about Woods? Is she feeling better?” Clarkes face lightened up and she answered: “Yeah much better. She can't wait to get back.”

Lincoln laughed and said: “That’s the Woods I know. Hopefully Queens will stay out of her way.” Clarke nooded and replied serious: “I will make sure of that. It’s important to avoid unnecessary stress.” Lincoln agreed as he sensed her change in her body language. “WE'LL make sure of it. It's not long anymore until her trial, afterwards she'll send away for the best for anyone.” Clarke smiled at him and it felt good to know that it’s possible in near future to let go of her fears of Lexa getting hurt. After chatting a little longer about common stuff, they made their way to the meeting. They stepped inside the meeting room of the Officers and most of them were already there. Pike stood in front of Mrs Sky's lectern with a nasty smile on his face. Clarke and Lincoln sat down in the background and soon Mrs Sky stepped inside. She stood behind the lectern and started with a smile on her face: “My dearest Officers. Thank you for coming to the meeting, I have important news for you.”

Clarke saw Pike, who's smile went wider by every word she said. It made her feeling uncomfortable. Mrs Sky: “The past weeks were very stressful for many of us. Drugs selling and using, mass brawl, many injured women, an attempted murder at one of the inmates, threatening Officers.” Her eyes laid on Clarke with a soft smile. She looked down on her lap because she interconnected every word with Ontari. Ontari was the main reason for everything that happened. Officers whispered words and Lincoln put his hand onto Clarkes knee encouragingly. She looked up into his warm eyes and saw his smile and felt calmed soon again.   
To disturb the whispers, Mrs Sky cleared her throat and continued, since she had the attention of everyone again. “I’m sure you already heard the rumors, that I got offered to get a higher position…” Clarke swallowed hard and looked to Lincoln, shocked. She whispered: “So it was true what O told us.”

Lincoln agreed with horrified expressions. Mrs Sky: “This means I will take a position in the justice ministry and have to step back from my position here.” Shocked murmurs were heard and the only one who was happy about it was Pike. He already saw his chance to take Mrs Skys position. She turned to Pike with a knowing smile. He smiled back at her. She looked to the crew again and continued: “I see shocked faces, I really feel flattered. Prison Mount Weather is my baby. I was the first boss here in prison. Time is passing and I need to give up responsibilities.” Everyone was silent, stunned and waited for what may come next. After a long dramatic pause she said with a smile: “I may need to give away responsibilities… but I’ll never give away my position as the boss.”

Pikes face fell down the second she told it. She could hear relieved breathes, because she knew everyone was afraid that Pike will become the new boss. It’s not like she didn't recognize how respectfully he treated her, since he heard about the news of a possible free job as the boss. But she also didn’t forgot the discomfort he putted most of the inmates through. And female Officers, by treating them as they were nothing without a say. She smiled into Pikes dumb face and said politely: “I know some of you were hoping to take my job, but I’ll give you the chance to prove your loyalties anyway.”   
Pike was angry. Everyone could tell, because he looked like he would attack her any minute. Pure hate in his eyes and a forced smile on his face.

  
Mrs Sky came around the lectern and stood in front of Pike. “Officer Pike. You deserve to be the Officer for professionalism. Inmates and Officers aren't allowed to get closer with each other than necessary. But just a reminder: don't think you can take advantage of your position.” She was looking to everyone again and halted shortly by looking into Clarkes eyes. She nodded her head shortly, so Clarke take in the information. Lincoln and Clarke held their breath. They needed to update Bellamy as soon as they could. With Pike walking around like a watchdog, thing won't get easier for the pairings. “Mrs Griffin. As always you'll be responsible for the foster care project, as you doing all the time anyway. But you're able to decide the meetings, special appointments and stuff like that. I trust you with that, to not to disappoint me.” Clarke nooded and smiled at her. “Thank you for your trust Mrs Sky.” She continued and said: “Each Station will get an de- escalation Officer. Your free to choose who it will be.” Everyone nooded and she said: “Last but not least: I'm happy to tell you, after much of talking with the Doctors: Mrs Woods will come back again tomorrow. I want Mrs Queens to stay away from her, as much as possible, until the trial.” Everyone agreed and Clarke recognized Pike still seemed to be shocked. “Thank you for your attention. You're free to go to your Stations. But don't forget, you can always come and find me. Face to face in my Office or just call me if I’m not there. Thank you.”

Everyone clapped their hands, some moved forward to congratulate her, Lincoln and Clarke stood up to leave, until they heard Mrs Sky calling for Murphy, who was already on his way to leave. “Mr Murphy? Hold on a second please.” Murphy stood still and turned around to face her with a tense body language. “Mrs Sky?” He asked, as she reached him. She smiled and said: “I would love if you could guard Mrs Wood back to prison tomorrow.” Murphy nooded and smiled: “Of course. Congratulations to the new job offer. But promise…” he came closer and whispered: “Please don't let Officer Pike take over your job. It will end up in a mess.” Mrs shook her head and smiled understandable: “Don't fear. I know he wants my job, but there is no way I'll give up my prison. Have a nice day Mr Murphy.” And went straight ahead to leave the Officers meeting room.

He turned around to Clarke and winked at her with a cheeky smile. Griffin wait sec.” he shouted and moved forward to her. He took a deep breath and said: “I may guard Mrs Woods back to prison tomorrow. So if you want to have a little bit more time for two, you should visit me.” Clarke looked at him with big eyes, because she was shocked about what he said and silented him. She looked around if anyone heard him, but nobody seemed to care. “Shhh. What are you talking about?” Asked Clarke with glowing ears, because she felt caught. Murphy didn't wanted to force her and make her uncomfortable. He smiled at her with a sassy smile: “Ok sorry Griffin. Just think about my offer.” He raised his hand to say goodbye and left Lincoln and Clarke. Clarke looked up to Lincoln who shrugged his shoulders. “If it would be O, I’ll take the offer.” Clarke shook her head and sighed. “How does he know?” Lincoln started his movement to walk to the Station and Clarke followed him. Lincoln: “Don't worry about it. He's a good guy. He probably added 1 and 1 together, after your confrontations with Queen.” _Of course. I need to be careful now. Especially when Pike is responsible for professionalism. Shit…_ was Clarke thought after processing the meeting.

 

_**Later the day** _

  
Raven was excited when Clarke told her the news about Lexas return tomorrow. She sprang of her bed and stormed to Clarke. With big hopeful eyes. She grabbed Clarkes hand tightly and asked: “Are you sure? She'll come back tomorrow for sure?!” Clarkes heart fluttered as she saw how relieved Raven was. But Raven also sensed that Clarke didn't seemed to be completely satisfied. Clarke forced a smile and clasped her hand firmly: “Yeah Raven I'm sure. She WILL come back tomorrow. And she's missing everyone. But I bet she's missing you the most.” Raven blinked and asked with a complete change in her face, she was serious and questioning: “Ok Griff. What’s wrong?”

Clarke looked to the floor with a shaking head and tried to play it down. She let go of Ravens hand and moved to the cell, to watch out of the window. The bars in front of her gave her a feeling of being locked up. It was a good metaphor because that’s what she felt: locked up in her own world of fears and insecurity since the nightmares started. “Its nothing.” Said Clarke and Raven heard her sighing. She followed Clarke and asked carefully. “Spill it Griffin. Shouldn't you be happy that Lex is coming back?” Clarke turned around quickly and answered: “I am! Of course!” Raven saw her struggling for the following words, Clarkes mouth opened and closed, but no word was heard. Clarke closer her eyes and shook her head wildly. Angry that she couldn't bring herself to be honest. Raven saw tears building in Clarkes eyes and she smiled at her compassionately. Clarke: “Nevermind. It’s just Officer stuff which also will affect you.” Raven frowned and listened carefully, Clarke continued: “Mrs Sky got a new job offer, that’s why she will retire a little bit, to focus on her new job. Pike is responsible for professionalism between Officers and Inmates now. I don't know how it will turn out, but we need to be careful.”

Raven was terrified: “Dammit why these asshole? Shit.” Clarke: “I don't know. That’s why I fear he will test out his power.” Raven raised her hand and ran over her forehead. “By the way Griff. You need to take care of Ontari. Luna and me assume she'll working with drugs soon again. We already had one member who acted strange again as if she was high. How long will she stay here? Wasn't Lexa pissed as she heard that Ontari came back?” Clarke looked to the ground, playing with her fingers and didn't answered. Raven: “Clarke?” She looked up again as she heard her forename, but didn't answer again. Raven appaled: “Don't tell me you didn't told her?!” Clarke in a louder and desperate voice now, like she needed to defend herself: “ I wanted to! But Lexa was still weak and stress isn't good for her constitution! I… I just couldn't.” Raven laid her hand on Clarkes shoulder and said calming: “Hey it’s okay Griff. I understand. But it’s for her best to know. She'll be stressed tomorrow, when she thinks Ontari is gone but surprise Ontari is still here, don't you think?” Clarke swallowed and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and said: “I know. You're right. I'll tell her before she'll arrive.”

The door busted open and Pike stood inside the cell. Raven jumped a little because she was frightened, and turned around alarmed. “MRS GRIFFIN. IS THERE A REASON WHY'RE YOU'RE HERE?” He shouted at her and Clarke breathed out loudly. Raven turned back to Clarke and said: “Thank you Officer Griffin, I’m feeling better now.” Clarke smiled at her and nooded her head: “No problem Reyes. I'm looking forward to take care of your matter of concern.” She passed her and eye leveled Pike with a serious face. “Mrs Reyes has a personal request and I will take care of it. If you'll excuse me now.” And passed him. _This will be a ride of a hell…_ was Clarkes thought and she couldn't wait to finish her working day.

 

_**After work** _

  
Clarke was still struggling by the thought of telling Lexa. She laid on her couch and zapped through the different channels until her phone buzzed. She picked it up and saw it was a text message from Madi:

  
**Hey Clarke. Are you already sleeping?**

  
Clarke laughed shortly, because she didn't knew anymore the feeling of sleeping. She replied:

  
**Hey Madz. No I’m awake. Is everything okay? Why aren't you sleeping?**

  
Clarke waited for her response and wondered if Madi was still with Lexa. The bell door rang and Clarke sighed and pulled herself up from the couch. As she opened the door, Madi stood there with a big smile on her face and two boxes of pizza in her hand. “I hope you're hungry?” Clarke ran her hand through her hair, overwhelmed because she didn't expected any visitors. “Madi hey. Good that you're here. Come in.” She stepped to the side to let Madi slip in. Madi looked around and placed the pizza boxes onto the table and turned around to asked carefully: “Is everything okay?” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and tried to fade out the mess of her flat. She shrugged her shoulders: “Sure. Is there a reason why you're here? I mean, not that I’m not happy. But is something wrong with Lexa or something?”

Madi smiled and took plates out of the cupboard. “don't worry, nothing is wrong with Lex. I just wanted to check up on you.” Said Madi, brought the plates to the couch table and sat down. Clarke followed her and Madi said with soft eyes: “I brought you favorite pizza. Have you eaten something the last days?” Clarke looked down onto the pizza and said feigned: “Of course. Everything is ok.” She took a slice of pizza and bite into it. She sighed: “It's delicious!” and this was true. Her stomach rumbles and she ate fast.   
When they finished, both of them laid backwards and sighed satisfied. Madi looked to Clarke and said: “I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you. I didn't saw you the last days and i wanted to make sure you're fine. You were there for me when I needed you the most and I was worried about you. And I want you to know that I don't want lose contact, just because Lexa is fine again. You're important to me.”

It warmed Clarkes heart to heard these words, she also looked to the side to face Madi. “Thank you Madz. You can't even imagine how much this means to me. I couldn’t come and visit, when Officers are around. It’s not allowed, you know?” Madi sat up again and nooded: “Yeah I know, Lexa told me. But I wanted to let you know, that I’m always here for you. You know that right?” Clarke smiled warm heartedly and replied: “You can also count on me, whenever you need me.” Madi smiled. “I know. And I should tell you greetings from Lexa. What’s going on between you two now?” Clarkes eyes went wide and she sat up too. “Nothing! I mean… I don't know. Had she said something?” Madi furrowed her brows and shrugged her shoulders, because she realised the topic made Clarke uncomfortable. “No she haven't. I… ok look it doesn't matter. But she was finally happy again to have you around. It’s like she’s a different person, not the serious and stoic one.” Clarke laughed shortly and replied: “It’s the same when you're around her Madi. You should see her in Prison. The women are calling her ‘the Commander' because she’s ruling the Station.”

Madi: “I wish to see her in Commander mode.” Both were laughing until the laugh stopped and Madi sighed: “I wish she could stay outside.” Clarke thought: It's my biggest wish too… and said: “I know. But maybe if the retrial is done, there is a chance to have her outside again. By the way, how is it going?” Madi sipped on her water: “Its okay so far. I'm searching for a second lawyer at the moment. I would love to work with a impartial lawyer, to help to not give the feeling of being biased because Lexa is my sister.” Clarke understood. “I'll see if I can help out. I might already have someone in my mind.” Clarke yawned, laid down again and pulled the cover up to her chin, Madi does the same and laid down again. And soon both of them drove into sleep.

  
Clarke missed it to have Madi around and the spontaneous sleepovers.

  
Clarke had an uneasy sleep, because her nightmares were hunting her again. She was moving wildly while sleeping and mourning. Which made Madi wake up, she looked around and heard Clarke murmurs: “Lexa… no… don't leave.” Clarke voice was broken and her face wetted from tears. Madi stood up, terrified and grabbed Clarkes shoulder to shake her awake softly. But Clarke just became more and more wildly until she sat up and screamed: “LEXA!!!” and looked around horrified. She didn't knew where she was and Madi grabbed her hands soothingly and whispered: “Shhhh it’s okay Clarke. Lexa is alright.”

Clarke looked into Madis eyes, with tears streaming down her face. Madi realized that Clarke couldn't think clear at the moment. She tried again: “Calm down Clarke. It’s me, Madi! Hold on, I’ll grab you a glass of water.” She stood up and hurried to the kitchen, as she remembered when she dreamt that Lexa was dead, Clarke also gave her a glass of water. She hurried back and found Clarke in a sitting position, with her head in her hands, still a fast breathing but she finally came to senses again. When she heard the footsteps she raised her head and cleaned her cheeks from the tears with her sleeve. Madi held the water to Clarke and asked: “Are you better? You had a pretty bad nightmare.”

Clarke laughed out shortly in desperation. “Yeah. I always have the same dream, that’s why I refuse to sleep much at the moment.” Madi sat down and laid her hand onto Clarkes back and caressed it softly. “You need to sleep Clarke. You need your strength.” Clarke sipped the water and focused on calming her breath. Madi tried again: “Lexa always told me a story back when I used to have nightmares.” Clarke looked up with puppy eyes and asked: “About the city of lights?”

Madi laughed softly and shook her head. She stood up to went to her side of the couch and said: “lay down and close your eyes.” Clarke does as Madi told her and took a deep breath. Madi yawned and started the story: “ _This is the story of the badass Commander of the 12 clans and how she fell in love with a beautiful women blonde angel, who fell down from the sky and changed the world for everyone. She showed the commander what it’s like to love. She showed her, that **life is about more than just surviving**. It’s a story of two strong women, who ruled the world together…_”

  
Madi told her a part of the story and Clarke finally drove into a deep sleep, without nightmares. She dreamt of Lexa and her, ruling the world and no one could hurt them, because they were together. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa will come back next chapter :) 
> 
> Short question:   
> Do you want Ontari to be gone or to stay? Because I love/ hate her :D


	19. Welcome back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is helping Madi out, by arranging a meeting with a befriended lawyer and Madi.
> 
> As she wants to talk to Lexa in the Hospital, things turn out different than expected. 
> 
> Lexa is back at Station 1 and Clarke is struggling with her thoughts of the nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos on the former chapters :)   
> Have fun with the new chapter! :)

_**The next morning** _

  
Clarke woke up and she felt much better than the last days. She had a peaceful night since forever and was able to finally regain some strength. Madi was still asleep and mumbled sleepy words. Clarke stood up silently and went to the kitchen to grab a big cup of coffee. Her phone blinked and she read a text message from Bellamy who was shocked about the changes at work. After answering him, she sipped her coffee and scrolled down her contact list and stopped as she read a name and pressed the green button to dial the number.

After ranging 3 times, someone picked up and answered: “ _Johnson_?”

Clarkes face lightened up and she said: “Hello Indra! It's Clarke Griffin. How are you?”

Indra answered: “ _Clarke nice to hear you. It's been long. What can I do for you? I bet you aren't calling to this day of the time, without a reason, am I right_?”

Clarke snorted shortly and answered lightly embarrassed: “You caught me. A friend of mine needs legal assistance. She has her last practical exam and needs a impartial lawyer.”

There was a short silence on the other side. “ _What’s the case? I have a lot of clients too.”_

Clarke closed her eyes and said: “Madi… I mean my friend’s sister is in prison and she want to do a retrial to shorten the punishment.”

Indra: “ _Is there a possible chance? Or is it a desperate movement?_ ”

Clarke said hastily: “Oh there is a huge chance! It’s also a psychological problem. The parents of Madi and her sister died also by in an car accident with a drunken driver. And she almost got killed by a drunken driver. Which one died by accident later.”

Indra: “ _It's… are they the Woods sisters? Madi and Lexa?_ ”

Clarke blinked. Shocked because she didn't expected that Indra knew them. She answered unsure: “Yeah they are. How did you know?”

Indra: “ _I… it’s a long story. Tell Madi to meet me in 2 hours. I'll wait for her in my Office.”_

Clarke was lighthearted: “Sure!!! I'll tell her and give her your address. Thank you so much for your help.”

Clarke heard Indras smile in her voice: “ _It's my honor to help them out. Have a great day. I have to hang up now, the next client is already waiting_.”

Clarke said her goodbye and hung up the phone. When she went back to the living room, she spotted Madi, who was already awake. Madi was just rubbing her eyes and looked to Clarke with sleepy eyes. “Good morning.” She yawned. Clarke smiled and said: “Morning Madz.” And sat down beside Madi to give her a new cup of coffee. Clarke: “I talked to a friend of mine. She's a lawyer. And she would like to hear you out about Lexas retrial.” Madi's eyes lightened up. “Oh my god Clarke, you're amazing! Do you have a number where I can call her?” Clarke nooded and answered: “She said you could meet her in two hours in her Office, to talk about everything. Her name is Indra Johnson.”

Madi came closer and hugged Clarke tightly and whispered: “Thank you Clarke. You're the best.” Clarke smiled and looked down to her clock. “I'll give you her address and you'll meet her 10am. Meanwhile I’m gonna visit Lexa and talk with her about the situation at Station 1.” Madi nooded and hurried to the bathroom to refresh herself. Later, Clarke done the same. She was nervous to see Lexa finally again. 

 

_**In the Hospital** _

  
After driving to Indra's Office to let Madi out, she drove to the hospital and searched for Lexa in the Station were she stayed the past days. Like Murphy told her yesterday, he sat in front of Lexas room and guarded her. She laughed, when she spotted him playing with his mobile phone and made her way closer to him. He looked up, smiled and stood up to greet her. “Hey Clarke. I'm happy you took my offer…” Clarke answered: “Yeah, thank you for that. I didn't wanted to come, but still there are several things I need to talk about with Lexa. And I’m missing her.” Murphy looked behind her with shocked eyes and spotted someone.

He grabbed her hands and whispered: “I'm sorry but you need to join me now.” He hugged her tightly and kissed her on the cheek. Clarke furrowed her brows and wanted to push him away, but he didn’t let her. He spoke in a loud voice: “Hey sweetheart. How nice of you to visit me.” Clarke wanted to ask what his problem was until she heard Pikes harsh voice: “Officer Griffin, what are you doing here? Have I interrupted a secret meeting with Woods?” Clarkes eyes became wide and Murphy nooded imperceptible. Clarke took his hand and turned around slowly. “Officer Pike.” To ease the whole situation, Murphy took over, because he sensed that Clarke was clearly overwhelmed from the whole situation. He laughed playfully and looked to Clarke: “Secret meeting with Woods? Is there something you need to tell me babe?” Clarke cringed shortly as he betitled her as ‘babe’.

She shrugged her shoulders and joined the game: “I don't know what he's talking about.” And laughed nervously. Pike wrinkled his brows and looked unsurely. Murphy: “I'm sorry Mr Pike. I know it’s not allowed but she just missed me. That’s why she stopped by to visit me. But tell me: what are you doing here? I thought I would guard Woods back to prison this afternoon?” Pike clearly didn't believed them. Without answering the questions, he asked right away: “So you wanna tell me you two are a couple now?” Clarke swallowed hard and couldn't answer. Murphy said: “Yes. Do you have a problem with that? Plus I find it very inappropriate to make presumptions of these kinds. ”

Pike stepped closer and watched them carefully. Finally he answered: “I guess It’s not my case to care about.” He was looking at Clarke and she looked down to the floor, breathing in and out deeply. She felt sick in her stomach, but she also knew that Pike would had revealed Lexas and hers relationship, if she hadn't joined Murphys game to trick him. Murphy: “So… what are you doing here?” he asked again and waited for Pike to answer. Pike moved around them and said: “it was just a random sample survey. You know, I’m responsible for professionalism. And I knew about your former relationship with one of the inmates. Plus Mrs Sky's wish is to make sure that Griffin and Woods aren't closer than allowed.”

Murphy swallowed hard and Clarke looked at him with apologetic eyes. Pike smiled his devilish smile and continued: “But I’m glad you overcame your loss that fast.” Murphy looked straight into his eyes and Clarke felt his uneasiness. She saw the hate in his eyes and felt worse because she knew, he just had done it for her. Pike continued: “Woods will come back to the Station earlier. You can inform her and guide her back to prison, as soon as the doctors gave her the dismissal papers.” Clarke became nervous and thought: _Dammit. I need to leave without even talking to her._ She felt sick in her stomach and looked at Murphy: “Look, I need to go, we'll see each other at work.” She gave him a quick peck on cheek and hurried to leave the Hospital. Clarke hurried to leave without catching anyones attention. She was angry, because she wasn't able to tell Lexa about the whole situation at Station. And she was angry because of Pike. He was one kind of the worst. 

 

_**Later the day** _

  
Many Officers stood in the yard, as they saw the Prison van who drove in fastly. Of course Clarke was also in the first row. Mrs Sky in the front, high heels, red dress and waited patiently until the van stopped. The women were on their break and looked to the van curiously. No one wanted to miss Lexa's return. Two Officers stepped out the van, greeted Mrs Sky and handed her some papers to sign. Afterwards they moved to the doors and opened them. Clarke held her breath and grabbed her own hands tightly until Lexa stepped out of the van.

A little paler than before, but still she was back again finally. She looked into Clarkes eyes deeply and Clarke nearly melted away and smiled softly. She let out her breath, she didn't knew she was holding, until Lexa smiled at her shyly and emotional. Mrs Sky stepped in front of Lexa and said with a light smile: “I'm glad your well again Mrs Woods. Welcome home.” Lexa smiled and nooded her head. “Thank you Mrs Sky.” Answered Lexa with a bitter sweet touch in her voice. The Officers separated and moved to the side to let Lexa pass them. The women were standing close to the lattice and started clapping their hands, shouting and whistling to welcome back Lexa again. She stood there and raised her hands with a big smile and waved them. Raven shouted: “I missed you Lex!!” Clarkes heart warmed up until she saw Lexas frozen face. She spotted Ontari, who smiled playfully and waved.

Lexa let her hands sink slowly and turned around to look into Clarkes eyes, who returned her look apologetically and a sad smile. “Come on Woods, I'll bring you back to your Station.” Said Murphy and grabbed her elbow to guide her to the Main block. The Officers followed them and she was brought back to the Station.

  
The women were also brought to the Station, later, after their break and Raven and O rushed inside to greet Lexa in her cell. Raven pulled open Lexas door to her cell and stood there breathlessly. Lexa looked at her and it passed 1 second until Raven hold Lexa in her arms finally again. She breathed in her scent deeply and whispered: “I'm so glad you're back again. Are you feeling alright?” Lexa closed her eyes and hugged her back tightly. “I missed you Rave. I'm okay. How about you? Is everything alright?” she opened her eyes and looked at O when they separated again. O came closer and hugged her shortly also. They never had such a deep emotional relationship as Raven and Lexa, but the small moments, when O was emotional , the moments were pure. “You're back finally. Raven already became more and more insufferable the longer you were gone.” Raven rolled her eyes and slapped her shoulder. “Shut up. I wasn't insufferable. I never am. Or am I?” she looked at Lexa playfully angry. Lexa laughed and shook her head. “Of course you’re not Rave. I missed my two idiots.” They were catching up the time they were separated until Lexa asked: “What is Ontari doing here again?” Raven and O looked at each other and Raven answered carefully: “She'll stay here until the trial against her. Will you also make a statement against her?” Lexa shrugged her shoulders and said: “I guess. I don't know if I’ll get summoned.”

O crinkled her brows: “Of course you will. She nearly killed you. Nearly the whole trial is because of the incident. Griffin made sure to accuse her to the police after everything that happened to you.” Right before she could answer, someone busted the door open and said with an clapping hand: “Look who's back again, the Commander well and alive.” Lexa stood up from her chair, followed by Octavia and Raven. “Aren't you happy to see me?” asked Ontari. Behind her back were staying 4 women of her clan. Lexa sighed and asked: “I bet you're not that happy as the other ones right?” Ontari stepped closer slowly and looked around. “You're right, sadly I already had plans to move in your cell.” Raven stepped closer: “Go away devil. Nobody is interested in speaking with you.”

Ontari raised her eyebrows and asked: “ Oh look who became rebellious again, now that your lost friend is back.” She looked to Lexa again and continued: “You need to know, she acted like a puppy since you were gone.” And shrugged her shoulders. Before anyone could answer, Lincoln showed up behind them and said: “Ladies? What’s the matter of this meeting? Shouldn't you be somewhere else?” Ontari turned around with a bright smile on her face: “Oh Officer Keen. We were just welcoming back our Commander. Nothing to worry about.” Lincoln answered with a serious face: “I asked you to leave now. In 20 minutes you need to head back to work anyway.”

Ontari passed him and went out of the cell without discussing more. Raven spit: “I could cut her head off. She's so annoying. How can you be this calm?” she asked Lincoln. He smiled politely as always and answered: “Because it's my job. But believe me I can feel you.” He winked at Octavia and looked to Lexa afterwards. “Are you feeling better again Woods?” Lexa smiled and said: “Sure. You know I survived worse.” Pike shouted from the outside: “COME TO THE MAIN SPOT EVERYONE!” Lincoln rolled his eyes. Pike observed Station 1 often now and no one was able to fought against it, as long as he was not offending the rules. Lexa asked: “What is he doing here?” Lincoln sighed: “He's responsible for professionalism now. And since he always didn't like Station 1 and our ways to handle the women, he's looking closer now.” Pike again: “I WON'T SAY IT AGAIN!” Raven, Octavia and Lexa followed Lincoln out of the cell to head to the main spot.

  
Everyone stood in a row and waited for what came next. Clarke walked through the entrance lattice and furrowed her brows as she saw it. Pike started: “Mrs Woods gave us the honor to lighten our mood with her presence again.” Lincoln and Bellamy looked at it other annoyed. Lexa stayed calm and silent and simply returned his look. Clarke slowed her steps and stood beside Bellamy and looked at him with a questionable look and he just shrugged his shoulders. Pike: “Don't think that you’ll get extra treatments here, Woods.” Lexa challenged his look and answered: “I didn't expected anything like that. That’s why we would love to know what’s this about here.” He smiled at her and looked down onto his tablet. Clarke looked at Lexa like she tried to communicate without words but Lexa just stared at Pike. He continued: “How I missed your cheekiness. You'll work in the laundry again…”

Clarke looked at him shocked and intervened: “No way!” Pike looked to her and also Lexa. The women were mumbling words. Clarke continued in rage: “She can't work so soon. She needs to rest! Her body needs to regain strength after she almost…” but Lexa cut her sentence off and said in a loud tone: “THANK YOU for your concern about my health Officer Griffin. But I’m capable to estimate my health level. And I'm able to work.” Clarke looked at her with big eyes and closed her mouth slowly. She knew it wasn't a good move. She questioned Lexas strength in front of everyone. But since her nightmares , she was constantly afraid that something might happen to Lexa and next time she won’t be there. She nearly dreamt every possible way of Lexa being dead or getting killed. It drove her crazy.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Forcing her mouth to stay quiet and looked down to the ground. Pike said: “See Officer Griffin? Nothing to worry about. Now let’s start.” Everyone moved to the main lattice. Ontari stepped closer to Lexa and whispered: “Oh Woods. Are you sure you're feeling well enough? Ms Griffin seemed to be very serious about your condition.” Lexa turned around with a serious face, but Luna grabbed her shoulder and smiled at her. “I'm glad you're back Lex.” She hugged her tightly and moved herself between Ontari and Lexa to change Lexas focus. And it worked. 

The rest of the day went smoothly, Ontari tried to provoke Lexa several times, but she was more focused on her own health than falling for her little games. She felt weak and may had overestimated herself. But happily she had her friends who helped her out. Clarke wanted to talk to Lexa in private but it turned out harder than she thought. Everytime she had the chance to meet her, someone was watching them. It made Clarke more and more angry because she didn’t had the chance to speak with her the whole day. 

Close before cell inclusion, Clarke couldn't stand it anymore, so she slipped into Lexas cell to meet the crew and Lexa. Everyone turned around questionably and Raven said: “Griff finally! I never thought you would finally show up.” Clarke answered smilingly: “yeah it’s not that easy with that watchdog around.” She looked to Lexa and got lost in her eyes. She moved closer slowly and asked: “Are you feeling alright?” Lexa smiled and nodded her head: “I'm okay Clarke.” Clarke got goosebumps by hearing her saying her name and became more and more nervous around her. Luna stood up from the chair and said conclusively: “Hey guys, how about we let them talk in private and go to our cells?” Octavia agreed and Raven winked at Clarke: “Good night Officer Griffin, be careful to not weaken her more!” Clarke felt the heat burning in her face and she felt embarrassed.

After saying their goodbyes, Clarke and Lexa were finally alone and stood in front of each other without saying a word. They simply looked into each others eyes. Clarke didn't knew were to start, until Lexa said with a soft smile on her face: “Still worried about my well being?” Clarke looked down and played nervously with her hands. “I… I'm sorry.” Lexa moved closer and answered: “I accept your apology. But please be aware, you can't underestimate my strength in front of everyone ever again, okay? Especially not in front of the women.” Clarke nooded and said with a shaking voice: “I'm… just scared. I’m afraid that something might happen to you especially with Ontari around. I'm sorry I lost my temper in front of everyone. It won't happen again, I promise.” Lexa looked into teary eyes and rushed forward to grab her face tenderly to caress it soothingly. She shook her head and said urgently: “You don't have to worry about it Clarke. Nothing will happen to me. I will be more careful from now on , ok?”

Clarke looked at her and couldn’t focus, because she zoned out and had visions of the nightmares. It was the same sentence Lexa told her in her dream. Afterwards Ontari rammed a knife in Lexas back. She heard Ontaris voice: “She’s dead because of you. You are her weakness.”   
“Clarke! Clarke! Hey what’s wrong?” Clarke visions stabilized again and she looked into worried green eyes of Lexa. “Hey what is it? You're sweating. Tell me what’s wrong.” But Clarke shook her head with horrified eyes and moved backwards and mumbled a weak: “Good night.” And hurried out of Lexas cell. She rushed out of the Station to the restroom. Clarkes breathes stuck inside of her throat and her heart raced like hell. She had a panic attack, like she often had the last days.

  
Pike, Lincoln and Bellamy sat in the main spot and Pike looked into the direction where Clarke just left. He turned around to Bellamy and said: “You know it would have been easier for everyone, if Mrs Sky had known.” Bellamy looked up from his papers and asked slightly annoyed: “Had known of what?” Pike laughed and said: “About Griffin and Murphy. You don't need to be secretively. I caught them in the hospital by doing a little control visit . How long are they together?” Bellamy looked at Lincoln helplessly, who looked completely lost. Bellamy coughed shortly and said: “Not long. But you know what? I think it’s none of your business.” He focused on his papers again, glad to get distraction. Pike stood up and looked around the station and continued: “You know why I had become Officer of professionalism? Because there were rumors of Griffin and Woods having something going on. Seems like false alert. Mrs Sky will be happy about the news.” Bellamy and Lincoln were looking at each other with concerned eyes.

Pike shouted: “CELL INCLUSION FOR EVERYONE NOW. GO TO YOUR CELLS!” he stepped out of the main spot and saw Ontari who stood right beside the bars. She smiled at him widely as she processed the news she just had overheard. “Queen what are you doing here? Go to your cell now.” She nooded and said: “Thank you Officer Pike. You saved my whole evening!” she smiled at him and went with Xana to their cell.

  
After being closed in, Ontari whispered: “Murphy and Griffin. I bet Woods won't like to hear the news.” And she laughed from her whole chest.

**_Tbc…_ **

 


	20. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ontaris focus is to weaken Lexa, now that she heard the rumors she takes her chance to complete her plan.   
> Lexa and Clarke are having a difficult conversation which might cause misunderstandings after Ontaris hints.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being late on updating, I had a surgery and needed time to regain some strength.  
> Have fun with chapter 20, I haven't thought I would write so many chapters on this story, but here we are!   
> Thank you for reading and giving kudos, it means so much to me! :)

Clarke drove home, right after work and avoided to have contact with anyone. Her panic attack still stuck in her body and she was shaking. Lexa looked so worried about her, but still she couldn't bring herself to tell her the truth, because Lexa might have worried about her well-being, and Clarke didn't wanted to cause any trouble for Lexas health. Her phone vibrated in her pocket around 2 times. When she stood in front of her apartment, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence for a little while. She focused herself on her breathing, because she was aware that she might have nightmares again if she won't stop thinking about it constantly. After a while, she grabbed her handbag and went inside her dark apartment. She lightened a few candles, which reminded her also of Lexa and sat down on the couch to look at the painting of Lexa and sighed.

_Lexa is alright. She's alive. She's breathing_.

This was the only thing who stabled her. Afterwards she stood up again to went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. She needed a glass… or maybe a few today, plus she had high hopes it will drive her into a peaceful sleep. The phone vibrated again and looked through her messages. 1 from Madi, 1 from Bellamy and 1 from her dad.

  
Madi's message: ‘ _Hey Clarke! The meeting with Ms Johnson was good, you'll not guess what she told me!’_   
Clarke furrowed her brows and opened her bun to let her hair fall freely down her back and tipped the reply:  
‘ _Hey Madz! Tell me, I’m curious!’_

  
Next Message was from Bellamy:  
‘ _Hey C! Where have you've been this fast, we didn't had the chance to say goodbye. Are you ok?’_  
She answered:

‘ _Hey Bell, sorry, I wasn't feeling well. But I'll be good tomorrow again.’_

  
She sipped at her glass of wine and felt the warmth in her body and opened the Message from her dad:

‘ _Hello sweetheart, we haven't heard in a while, is everything ok? Your Mum told me about Lexa, I hope she's feeling better now? How about dinner with mum and me next week to catch up?’_  
Clarke smiled, because it made her happy to see that her mum and her dad slowly getting along with each other again. She typed fastly:

‘ _Hey dad, it’s a good idea to have dinner together next week, I’m looking forward to it! I'm ok so far, how about you?'_

and sent it. She didn't reacted to what he asked about Lexa.   
She didn't realised that she already emptied a glass of wine and filled it again until her phone vibrated.

  
Madi: ‘ _Indra told me, that her first case of her career was the process against the accident of my parents. She has a personal interest to win the retrial for and with Lexa. Thank you so much for your help Clarke. Lexa always told me you were special and she was right: you‘re amazing.'_

 Clarke blushed and smiled after being shocked about the news, because she didn't knew it, but it would explain Indras reaction when she called her earlier.

Answer: ‘ _Wow I didn't knew! You don't have to thank me, I'm happy if I can help. Good night Madz and sweet dreams.’_

  
She already said her goodbyes because she felt how heavy her eyelids became at the Moment. She didn't knew how long she sat there, because some of the candles were already dissolved and the bottle of wine was emptied. Her mind zoned out every now and then thats why she decided went to the bathroom and to bed afterwards and drifted into a restless night with the same dreams as always.

 

_**The next day** _

  
“Good morning Ladies! A new day arrived! Get up and grab some breakfast!” shouted an Officer and Lexa rolled her eyes. She was already annoyed and wasn't motivated because she had a restless night and dreamt strange things of Clarke. Something was wrong with her and she needed to find out, what was in Clarkes mind. She stood up, grabbed her stuff and headed to the bathroom to shower herself. Later on , she went to the common room to have breakfast and sat down at the table of her crew.

She recognized Ontari who was eyeing ever step she made, but Lexa didn't care. She just wanted her peace after all. Echo smiled at her brightly and asked: “Hey Lexa, do you had a good night now that you're back again?” Lexa nooded and smiled softly: “I had. And before I forget: Thank you for your support last time against Ontari. I didn’t had the chance to thank you earlier. “ Echos smile was widely and replied: “No worries. It was about time.” Ontari stepped closer and laid her hand onto Lexas shoulder. O was already in attack mode until Ontari said friendly: “Hey commander. Do you had a good night? You know? First dreams are coming true.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and moved back from her touch. She said: “It's none of your business, now leave me alone.” Luna grabbed Ravens arm as she sensed that she was about to stand up to calm her down. Ontari: “Hey do you wanna hear the latest trash talk here in prison? I know you were gone for so long but it's my personal wish to update you.” Lexa didn't pay attention to Ontari and continued to eat her breakfast, until Ontari said: “I bet you want to know. It’s about Griffin and I’m sure you aren't aware of.” Lexa blinked and thought: _Don't let Ontari get into your mind, she's playing you._

Raven looked at her with furrowed brows and Ontari said: “I heard that she and Murphy are a thing. Do you know something about it? “ Raven started laughing, like everyone else. Ontari looked around clearly pissed but realized that Lexa was the one who didn't laughed. Lexa said: “Bullshit. Now go and leave us alone.” But something felt strange inside her. Something she haven't felt a long time ago. It was jealousy, even though she knew that Ontari was simply playing her, because Clarke was the topic which caught her. Ontari went to her table, without saying anything else, but felt satisfied in her guts, because she knew she said something which caught Lexas attention.

  
After finishing breakfast, everyone sensed the change of Lexas mood. While moving out of the common room , Luna grabbed her by her arm and whispered: “Lex, you don't believe Ontaris bullshit right?” Lexa laughed out playfully and replied: “Of course not, we all know Ontaris mind. Everything is fine.” Inside of her it looked different especially after Clarkes strange behavior yesterday.   
Luna knew, Lexa was lying but she had knowledge that it does not work to force Lexa to speak about her feelings, that’s why she accepted it. Everyone went to work and Ontari continued to provoke Lexa with the story. Everytime she had the change to talk to her, she brought the topic up. Lexa was annoyed more and more and had slowly problems to act uninterested until she couldn't bare it anymore and answered: “You know what? It doesn't matter to me. She has her life, I have mine. End of the story and now, get the fuck out of my way!”

The door opened and Clarke stepped inside the laundry room. She looked alarmed to see Ontari and Lexa close in front of each other. “What is this all about?” she asked in a loud tone, and Ontari stepped back and shrugged her shoulders and said: “Nothing to worry about Ms Griffin.” And passed her. When she was eye to eye to Clarke, she whispered: “Congrats by the way.” Clarke furrowed her brows and looked after her. Pike showed up beside her and said: “What’s wrong?” Clarke looked at him slightly angry and said: “We are supposed to separate Queens from Woods until the trial! I wish from now from you to look after this case!” Pike nooded and didn't discussed. Everyone was watching them, but Lexa couldn't bring herself to look at Clarke. The things which Ontari told her were creeping inside her. Pike in a loud voice: “Enough of the show! Get back to work now!” and everyone moved. Pike and Clarke went into a separate room to watch over the women, even though Clarke simply had eyes for Lexa. Still unsettled of her nightmares, but seeing Lexa breathing calmed her down. But she recognized Lexas sad eyes and wondered why.

  
After a while, Lexa and Raven went into the laundry storage to prepare the finished clothes for the next delivery. 

Raven asked: “Lex, what’s bothering you?” Lexa simply shrugged her shoulders and answered with a serious face and without looking at her: “Nothing? Everything is fine.” Raven smiled softly and came closer to disturb Lexa from merging the clothes together. “You don't really believe what Ontari tells right??” Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes and finally looked at her offended: “I don't believe it, okay? But you haven't seen Clarke yesterday. She nearly had a panic attack when I was near to her. She completely zoned out! Something is wrong with her.” Raven smiled at her tenderhearted: “I understand. How about I’ll ask her to come to see you here? You can talk and afterwards it might be better for both of you?”

Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head. Raven: “Ok it’s an order now. I'll ask her. Hold on a second.” And she went outside to Clarke. Lexa sighed deeply and calmed down a bit and distract herself with the clothes. Raven went to the observing room to ask for Clarke, who was deeply in her thoughts of Lexa. Raven knocked at the glass door and Clarke looked up. Pike annoyed: “What is her problem.” Clarke stood up without paying attention to him. She opened the door and asked: “Is everything okay?” already worrying about Lexa. Raven saw the fear in Clarkes eyes and answered fast: “Yeah everything is alright, there is simple a problem with the delivery and Ms Woods asked for your advise.” Raven smiled at her knowingly and Clarke became nervous, because she didn't knew what to tell Lexa if she would ask her about yesterday. She wanted to spare her.

But she forced a smile and turned around to Pike: “I'll take a look and be back in a few.” Pike didn't noticed her and focused on his magazine in front of him. With shaking steps she made her way to the storage. She opened the door and watched directly into hopeful green beautiful eyes. After closing the door, she stepped closer with slowly steps and asked in a shaking voice: “Hey Lex, are you feeling alright?” Without answered, Lexa came around the table and laid her arms around Clarke to hug her tightly. She whispered: “I missed you so much Clarke. Are you feeling better?” Clarke returned the hug, closed her eyes and breathed in her scent deeply. “I missed you too. And I shall tell you greetings from Madi.” Again, she avoided the question. Even though she didn't wanted to lose the touch with Lexa, she feared someone would come inside, that’s why she separated herself from Lexas touch. Lexa knew Clarke was right, without speaking it out loud. Lexa smiled and said: “Have you met her?”

Clarke nooded and couldn't resist and grabbed Lexas hand, to play with her fingers and answered: “Yeah, she stayed overnight the day before yesterday. I organized a meeting with a lawyer yesterday, because of your retrial. You might know her, it's Indra Johnson.” Lexas eyes went wide and she asked overwhelmed: “Indra Johnson will help out with my retrial? Oh my god.” Clarke nooded and smiled at her proudly: “Yeah I know her from my work in foster care. I didn’t knew, you knew each other.” Lexa told her the story shortly and asked in the end with a knowing smile: “Don't think I didn't realize you're avoiding my question, if you're feeling better again.” Clarke looked down to the floor and closed her eyes. She said: “Because it’s more important for me to know that you're alright.” Lexa stepped closer again and Clarke felt the heat which was rising inside of her body. Her breath hitched inside of her throat. “Look at me Clarke.” She looked up and was mesmerized of her eyes like always. Plus when she saw Lexas soft smile, her whole world made sense again. “I'm good Clarke. Now tell me what is bothering you please.” And Clarkes face fell again and she felt uncomfortable. She looked to the ground and stuttered: “As long as you're good, I'm too Lex.”

Lexas heart almost melted when she heart Clarke saying her name, but she was aware that Clarke was still avoiding her question. That’s why she tried again, in the back of her mind the rumors from Ontari: “Clarke please, talk to me. There is nothing we can't solve out, you just need to talk to me.” Clarkes body started to shaking again, mad at herself that she couldn't bring herself to tell her the truth. “I… I'm…” and sighed. She recognized a hard knot inside of her throat with inhibited her breathing. She felt trapped and tried to free herself from Lexa, her eyes filled with panic. Lexa watched her helplessly when she heard Clarkes fast breathing and saw her unfocused look of horror in her eyes. “Baby please, let me help you.” Was Lexas last try, but Clarke just whispered: “I… I can't. I need to breath.” Turned around and rushed out of the storage. Lexa stood behind her, all alone by herself and murmured “Dammit." And raised her hand to wipe above her forehead. She followed Clarke outside, after stabilizing herself and looked around to find her, but she was gone. Ontari showed up beside Lexa and said: “Had she told you the truth? She looked really devastated.”

Lexa turned around to face her and pushed her away at her shoulders. It caught Ontari by surprise and she fell backwards without getting hurt and laughed out: “Woods, I don't know you this aggressive!” Lexa looked at her angry and shouted: “Can you just shut you mouth just one time?!” Pike ran to them and shouted: “Back off each other right now! Woods! Your punishment will be cleaning the floors and Officers rooms in your freetime! Now get your shit together and stay away from each other.” Raven grabbed Lexas shoulder carefully and pulled her away from Ontari. She whispered: “Lexa! Hey calm down, what’s wrong?” she looked concerned but Lexa simply shook her head and went to the dryer to focus on something different. She just wanted to be for herself and didn't wanted to talk to anyone. The rest of the day was quiet, but Lexa constantly thought about Clarke and the rumors, Clarke constantly thinking about Lexa and her nightmares And the former situation between them.

The women brought back to Station 1 after work except for Lexa. Pike ordered to clean the floors and the Officer rooms as a punishment for the little incident, but she just functioned and didn't had the strength to fight more , especially against Pike. Clarke was nowhere to be found for the rest of the day and it made her worrying more and more. Cleaning the floors was a welcoming distraction for her.

 

_**Meanwhile Officers common room** _

  
Clarke sat at the big table, grabbing her coffeepot tightly and didn’t realized a tear which ran down her face. The door opened and Murphy came in. Clarke looked up and looked lost. He furrowed his brows and said: “I'm sorry, I didn’t knew someone was here. Is everything ok?” Clarke laughed out and looked back onto her coffee again. She wiped away the tear and said: “Yeah of course! What do you think?” He lean against the counter and eyed her warily: “You don't look like you're fine.” Clarke sighed and said: “Do you know that Pike asked Bellamy how long we are together?” Murphy: “Fuck, I should have known he'll talk about it. I'm sorry Clarke, I didn't meant to turn you into trouble.” She just shook her head and stirred into her coffee. “You were trying to protect Lexa and my relationship. Plus it’s not what is bothering me.” Murphy also got some Coffee too and said: “What’s bothering you instead?” Clarke laughed again: “You'll probably think I'm a freak.”

Murphy sipped his coffee: “Try me. And just for record, I already think you are. So you won’t surprise me.” This made Clarke laugh a little and she took a deep breath to finally speak it out loud. “Since Lexa passed out the day and was in hospital, I'm always dreaming of her. That she dies on my watch. I can't help her. And it’s my fault. Every night it’s my fault. And now?” Her voice went high and became shakier: “Now I can't even face her and tell it to her. I get panic attacks everytime she comes closer. I hear voices in my head who are telling me that she'll die because of me. And I’m to weak to tell her.” Murphy swallowed hard. After a while he answered: “You aren't a freak Griffin. Your reaction is naturally. You're afraid to lose her, especially since she was in hospital. You're not responsible that she got hurt Griffin.” Clarke closed her eyes and stood up upset and said loudly: “But she got hurt because I fell for Ontaris trap. If I wouldn't be that dumb… she was protecting me and nearly died Murphy.” He nodded and said: “Do you know how many times I told myself that it was my fault that Emori died? I wasn't there for her. Everything was my fault. But you Griffin. You have the chance to be there with her! You have a chance for a future together. Don't let your nightmares and fears ruin this for you.”

Clarke blinked and saw his eyes getting wet more and more. He was still in pain when he talked about Emori. She stepped closer and hugged him tightly and whispered: “Thank you Murphy. And I’m sorry for your loss, but it wasn't your fault.”

  
The door opened and Pike said: “Last room to clean for you.” Clarke looked to the door and saw into horrified eyes of Lexa, with a hint of anger in them. She stepped backwards and let go of Murphy who looked at least shocked as everyone else. Everyone was eyeing each other but no one said a word until Pike said: “Oh I’m sorry, we didn't wanted to interrupt. Woods lost her temper today, and her punishment is to clean the Officer rooms.” Clarke couldn't let go of Lexas eyes and the disappointment which was written inside of them. But Clarke didn't know why. Lexa started to clean the room silently and angry, Clarke could tell. She said to Pike: “Why does she have a punishment? I already told you she has to regain strength and…” but Lexa said in a cold and emotionless voice:

“It's none of your business anymore.”

Clarke went pale and didn't know how to answer. Seeing Lexa this cold towards her hurt like thousand knives in her heart.


	21. Escalation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation escalates slowly after Lexa had a night full of nightmares and Ontari is doing her best to provocate her more and more.   
> Clarke and Madi are working on the retrial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos on the story! You're amazing! I'm really happy about it! :)

“It's none of you business anymore…” were the last words Clarke heard personally from Lexa, because the situation in the Officers common room was really tensed. Clarke had problems to reach out for Lexa and ask her what she meant after she recognized the coldness in her voice. Pike was around them everytime and made specific hints and Lexa tried her best to avoid her. She simply cleaned the floor until Pike said: “I meant it, we didn't wanted to disturb you.” Clarke just turned around and grabbed tighter onto the counter with one hand and dried her face of tears with the other hand. Murphy was clearly very uncomfortable and tried to ease the situation, because he also sensed the mood of Lexa. She mopped the floor and hit different chairs, and he said: “There was nothing to disturb. Everything is fine, I was comforting her.”

But Lexa didn't care. She had problems to ease her anger and tried to not to recognize it, but couldn't help and snorted shortly until she hit one chair hard. Pike said: “Woods, you better watch out to leave the chairs in one piece.” And laughed devilish. Lexa gnashed her teeth and continued with her back to Clarke and Murphy. Clarke didn't had a chance to ask her what was wrong because her two days off were ahead of her now. Without looking at Clarke, Lexa said: “I'm finished. Can I go back to my station?” Pike observed her work and said: “I'm overwhelmed Woods. Maybe it’s a new job for you. I'll bring you back.” She left the Officers common room without more looks or words and Clarke stood in the background, staring at her, shocked with a hanging open mouth. And then she was gone.

She felt terrified as she finished her shift and asked herself what was wrong with Lexa, without knowing of the rumors of Ontari.   
She drove home and was glad to be there, even though it drove her crazy to not to know why Lexa was this cold to her.

 

_**The next day** _

  
Clarkes doorbell rang and Clarke hurried to open the door. She was exhausted because the last night was a hell of a ride as always. She didn't expected any visitors, until she opened the door and Madi stood in front of her with a big smile and breakfast. Madi said: “I thought about having breakfast together.” Clarke smiled and stepped aside to leave her inside. Madi turned around after placing the bread rolls and cold cuts with marmalade onto the table in the kitchen, which she brought to surprise Clarke. Clarke followed her and was in awe. “Madz it’s so nice of you, how did I deserved it?” Madi winked at her and smiled brightly: “You gave me a chance to get Lexa out of Mount Weather!” Clarke sensed Madi's happiness and euphoric behavior. Madi stepped closer and hugged her tightly, which returned Clarke surprised. Madi continued: “I met Indra today and she said we have a good chance to get her out in a few years!” it warmed Clarkes heart, she couldn't wait for a future with Lexa without prison and especially Ontari.

Madi raised her bag onto the table filled with many files for the retrial. After sorting it, she said: “If you want you could help me to sort it out earlier than planned. If we're working on it we could apply for the retrial in the following next two month. Indra said, she'll be able to free herself to help us.” Clarke was overwhelmed, because she didn't expected the retrial THIS soon. She knew Lexa had a weird behavior towards her at the moment, but she thought it was about Ontari. And she was aware that she had done the rest with her strange acting because of her nightmares. But still Clarke looked over the files and started to work it out with Madi, meanwhile breakfast. To work for a future. With Lexa and the crew outside of prison… because THIS was her biggest wish.

 

_**Meanwhile Station 1** _

  
Raven was worried about Lexa, because she recognized her changed behavior. Lexa tried to avoid everyone and wanted to be on herself. But Raven didn't accepted it. She searched for her inside of her cell, after Lexa didn't attended breakfast.   
Raven knocked at her door and Lexa sighed deeply, laid onto her bed, without answering. But Raven didn’t care, that’s why she stamped into her cell and said: “Ok Lex, tell me what is it? You didn't attend breakfast and you love breakfast.” Raven was right, because breakfast was the most important meal for her. Lexa closed her eyes and answered disinterested: “I'm not hungry.” Raven sat down on her bed and furrowed her brows and asked worried: “But why? What is it? I know something is wrong.”

Lexa played with her blanket and focused on everything but Raven. Raven grabbed her blanket: “Does something happened with Griff?” Lexas facial expressions went serious and angry and she stated: “No… I'm done with her.” Ravens eyes became big and she asked shocked: “Ok I guess I found your problem. What is it?” Lexa shook her head and moved herself into a sitting position to avoid eye contact with Raven. She stated simply: “I just realised she might be better off without me.” Raven started laughing and watched her unbelieving, which caught Lexas expression. Raven saw she was annoyed, thats why she became serious again. “Don't you see what a love fool she is around you?” Raven asked in a unbelieving tone. Lexa knitted her right brow: “I don't think so. I caught her today with Murphy. Pike said weird stuff about not disturbing them… I guess Ontari was right.”

Lexa had her problems to say it out loud, because she NEVER said that Ontari was right ever before. Raven looked at her with incredulous eyes: “You can't be serious right now. YOU ARE believing Ontari is right? Don’t mind me but it's obviously a trap. She trying to playing you two against each other! She’s using your jealousy to weaken you.” Lexa was pissed and answered: “I’m not jealous!” nothing more, nothing less. She knew Raven might be right. Raven smiled at her loving and answered: “Of course you are. I know it and she does too.” Lexa just clenched her teeth without answering. Raven continued and grabbed her hand soothingly: “Trust me. Trust her. She cares about you. A lot. And no Ontari nor Murphy or anyone else will change it.” Lexa looked softer now, because she finally calmed down. Without forming words, she hugged her tightly and closed her eyes. She whispered: “Maybe you're right.”

Raven returned the hug with a calming feeling in her stomach. Raven said: “You need to focus on your retrial and Ontari is probably just provoking you, to lose your chance to win the retrial.” Lexa nooded without answering, because she needed to sort her own feelings out. Raven was hopeful that the whole situation might end better than she thought, in the end. But if she had been honest, the rumors were also scaring her and made her become uncertain, even though she knew how much Clarke loved Lexa and the other way around. But if she thought about the situation, if it was her personal case and Luna would act strange towards her plus someone’s spreading rumors- she probably would have acted the same way like Lexa.

  
The rest of the day went quietly, Ontari tried to get into Lexas mind again and again but she didn't cared about it, at least she didn't seemed to care about it. But Lexa felt uneasy, because she wanted to talk about the situation between her and Clarke, but she wasn't at work anymore. That’s why she tried to work out her anger inside of her mind for until she would see Clarke again. Lexa's night was horrible. She sweated, felt uncomfortable and had nightmares of Clarke being together with Murphy. She also dreamt that Clarke was pregnant with Murphy's child. Afterwards she woke up and sat up in her bed with panic in her eyes. Her breath was shaking and her heart raced as if she ran a marathon one minute ago. When she looked around, she realized that it was simply a bad nightmare. She was in her cell and not outside of prison.

To cool herself down, she drank a whole glass of water which stood beside her bed and tried to get back to sleep afterwards. But of course, her whole night was filled with nightmares. Nightmares of Clarke cheating on her, nightmares of Clarke where she was together with someone else, nightmares of Clarke who’s quitting her job and leave her alone. She was devastated in every dream. And every dream made her realize more and more how much she still loved Clarke and she didn't wanted to lose her again. She decided to stay awake, because she didn't wanted to dream to lose her again and went to her secret place in her wardrobe and searched for a bottle homemade brandy from one of the girls who worked in the kitchen.

She stood in front of the window, opened it, took a deep breath of fresh air and closed her eyes while enjoying the silence. Her eyes went down to the bottle in her hand and she opened it to take a big sip and screwed u her eyes, because the alcohol level was really high. After swallowing it, she needed to take a deep breath of air again and thought: the first sip is the worst, afterwards it will taste better. And that was practically her whole night until the morning sun fought her way through the heavy clouds in the morning. She just sat there, had a drink and was deep in her thoughts.

  
“Wake up everyone! New day, new fun!” called Lincoln and started to open the cells. She grabbed her stuff to went to the shower as soon as the door was opened. She felt good but also a little tipsy because of the alcohol. Lincoln opened the door and greeted her: “Morning Heda, how was your night?” he smelled the Alcohol and furrowed his brows as she smiled at him: “Wonderful, how about yours?” He stepped closer with a serious face and whispered: “Woods you're drunk. You know the rules of consuming alcohol, it might cause isolation!” He raised his hand to his forehead and looked out of the door if any other Officer was around. Lexa said: “You're right, I don't care. Bring me into isolation. I don’t want to put you into anger.”

He blinked as he sensed Lexas mood. He stepped closer again: “You know I don’t put you into isolation. Go and have a cold shower and become sober again.” Lexa nooded and wanted to pass him but he grabbed her forearm and hold her. She looked at him questionably and he asked with caring eyes: “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” she looked down on his hand and he let go of her. She didn’t answered and he tried again: “Shall I call Clarke?” Lexa looked up with furious eyes and answered: “No you shouldn't. She don't need to know about this okay?” Lincoln swallowed and nooded: “As you wish. Now go and clear your mind.” She smiled at him and both left the cell.

 

_**Later the day** _

  
Lexas mood was good half of the day, until she overheard a conversation from Pike and Murphy at the yard. Bellamy, Lincoln, Pike and Murphy were observing the women at the yard in their break. She barely understood anything, but the things she heard were enough for her to get angry again. She wasn't herself anymore. Raven and Luna were right beside Lexa and didn't recognized the change of her mood.

  
Pike to Murphy: “How is your girlfriend? Is she enjoying her day off?” Murphy sighed deeply and rolled his eyes: “Officer Pike. I'm aware that you're clearly interested in our relationship but I ask you to keep it in private. You didn't care about us before, you don't need to care about us now. Stay out of it.” Pike started laughing. Lincoln and Bellamy were looking at each other with meaningful eyes and Bellamy intervened jokingly: “We don't ask about your relationships too, right?” Pike looked at him and said: “I already told you, Ms Griffin was already a thorn in Mrs Sky's eyes, and I want to figure things out. IF it’s TRUE love, it’s nothing to keep in secret.” Murphy just shook her and laughed bitterly: “That’s why we kept it secret. We wanted to avoid all the interrogations, because. Its. Private.” It was hard for him to lie about it, and he was angry about himself to put Clarke through this.

  
Lexa went further and didn't heard any more of the conversation, but it was enough for her. Ontari was right. She heard it herself now. She couldn't believe it. Her head started swirling and she felt the dizziness in her head and needed to sit down onto one of the benches. Raven also heard the conversation and was worried because Lexa looked pale: “Hey Lex, is everything alright?” Lexa nooded and focused on her breathing. Raven caressed her knee: “Do you want to drink something?” Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head: “I'm fine.” In her inner eyes were her nightmares playing again and again, which made her even more dizzy. Octavia said in a serious tone: “You better stay away.” Lexa looked up and faced Ontari who stood in front of her with her crew with a smile on her lips. Octavia blocked the way with Luna. Luna said: “Get away from her.” Lexa stood up and stepped closer. “Its okay girls, just let’s go.” Ontari was shocked. She said: “I can see it in your eyes Woods.” This caught Lexas temper and she shook her head with angry eyes. Luna, Raven, Octavia and Lexa made their way away from them to avoid senseless anger.

  
There was a shouting on the other side of the yard and Pike made his way towards two fighting women. Murphy, Bellamy and Lincoln overlooked the situation of Lexa and Ontari. Bellamy said, while focusing on Octavia: “When are you planning to enlighten the situation?” Murphy sighed: “As soon as possible. I need to talk to Griffin about it how we want to handle it.” The situation became serious and they were alarmed.

Ontari and her Iceclan moved behind Lexa and her crew and said: “You can't run away from it Woods. You know I was right.” Lexa slowed her steps and didn't answered. Luna grabbed her shoulder and whispered: “Don't let her enter your mind.” Raven and Octavia discussed with the Iceclan members and Ontari just focused on Lexa. “what were you thinking? You know you're in prison. You can't treat her like a man can outside of prison.” Lexa turned around and said: “EM PLENI!” and attacked Ontari. She hit her pine and Ontari hit her stomach. Luna tried to pull them apart, but she was also attacked by Iceclan members like Raven and Octavia too. Ontari kicked Lexas legs and both fell down to the ground and fought each other. Until there were screams to stop but Lexa didn't care, she was so in rage that she didn’t realised the Officers who tried to pull them off each other.

Murphy grabbed Lexa and said: “Hey calm down Woods.” As Lexa heard his voice she turned around fast and pushed him away while shouting: “Get your fucking hands off me!” It caught him by surprise that’s why he fell backwards to the ground and hurt his hand because he tried to avoid falling. “WOODS!” shouted Bellamy shocked and Lincoln grabbed her from behind, meanwhile Bellamy shoved the other women away. Lexas breathing was close before hyperventilating and Lincoln whispered: “Ok Heda, focus on your breathing and calm down. Don't jeopardize your retrial now. You're almost done.” Luna went to Murphy and helped him to stand up again. Pike ran to them and shouted: “Enough! Woods you’ll be isolated, congrats.” Raven: “Why!? Ontari was provocating her! You are suppose to separate them! It’s not her fault!”

Octavia was also defending her. Pike said: “The fight with Queens is one thing. But physically attacking an Officer is the other thing.” Lincoln weakened his grab around Lexa when he realized she stabilized her breathing again. Murphy said: “She wasn't attacking me. I…” Lexa looked at him with furrowed brows and waited what he might continue: “I stumbled and lost my balance. My bad.” Everyone could feel the tense situation. Pike raised on side of his lips and nooded: “Well… in that case: I don't care. We need to separate them, so one needs to leave. And you don't need to lie to me, I saw that she pushed you. I'll bring her on my own. I might be the only one who's able to handle anyone here.” He came to Lexa and grabbed her hard by her arm and pulled her with him. He didn’t care about the complaining of Bellamy or Lincoln or Raven.

 

  
_**Later** _

  
Lexa laid on the bed in isolation and sighed. She looked around and everything felt cold. The cameras in every corner drove her crazy. _Congrats Lexa… you didn’t just lost Clarke, you might have put your retrial into danger too._

Lincoln and Bellamy tried her best to calm down the women at the Station and they were annoyed of Pike. Raven said to Lincoln angry: “I had high hopes that you would have been different, but you're like the others.” Lincoln furrowed his brows and was agitated. He showed to himself: “I am like the others? Do you know how many times I saved your asses?! Lexa was clearly drunk in the morning and I didn't said anything at all.” Raven had tears of anger in her eyes, she showed to the door: “Then why don't you bring Ontari into isolation and free Lexa?! You know it’s not her fault! She reacted in affect!” Lincoln breathed in deeply and Luna soothed Raven. Lincoln: “Lexa was the one who attacked at first. I can't do anything. I AM your friend, but I’m also an Officer and have to do my job.”

Raven sensed his disappointment in his voice. She sighed and said in a small voice: “I know. I'm sorry. I didn't meant it personally.” She sat down onto the chair and laid her head onto her hands with a big desperate sigh. Luna caressed her back and looked at Lincoln apologetic: “Sorry you was the victim of her anger. It’s just not fair you know?” Lincoln walked around in the cell and agreed: “I know. Maybe I should tell Clarke and she could come back earlier.” Raven looked up fast and said: “No you won't. It’s her fault Lexa is like this.” Lincoln furrowed his brows: “What do you mean?” Raven laughed: “Don't try to fool me. I'm aware you know about Griff and Murphy.” Lincolns eyes went big, he sat down in shock and asked: “Shit… is Lexa like this because of it?” Raven was overwhelmed and said in a loud and angry voice: “Don't you think it’s a reason for her to act this way?!” Luna: “If it’s true it’s a really messed up situation.” Lincoln shook his head: “No no no! You weren't supposed to hear it. Nothing of this is true! They were tricking Pike.” Raven looked at Luna uncertain and back Lincoln again: “What do you mean by that?” the door opened and Bellamy brought Octavia inside who was still pissed and raging about Lexa being in isolation. “O! I'll try my best okay? Now calm down, we'll work it out.”

O furious: “You better get her out of isolation! I swear if you…” Someone behind them: “What is this shouting about? Are there any problems?” Lincoln rolled his eyes and answered annoyed: “We have everything under control Pike. We were just about to leave for cell inclusion.” Bellamy nodded and looked at Octavia serious because she was about to argue again. Lincoln with a smiling look to all three of them: “Have a good night and remember: tomorrow might things don't look as today.” Luna smiled and kissed Raven shortly goodbye to leave the cell to go back to her own. Raven looked at him with confused eyes and Lincoln winked at Octavia. When Raven heard the cell were closed she turned around to Octavia and said: “Have you figured something out? Lincoln was about to explain to me until you came in!” O shook her head and answered: “No I haven’t, Bell said he'll figure something out to get Lexa out of isolation.”

  
After chatting a little longer both headed to bed and drove into sleep fast until the new morning started.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings between Clarke and Lexa will finally be solved in the next chapter :)


	22. I do care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is working with Madi on Lexas retrial.  
> Clarke and Lexa are finally able to solve the misunderstandings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me some time but here is the new chapter! Thank you to everyone for reading, leaving comments and kudos on this story!   
> I'm so happy you like it! :)

Clarke and Madi worked for the day and half of the night and solved it finally around 4 am. Madi already slept with the head on her hands onto the table and Clarke looked at her and yawned exhausted. Exhausted but also feeling good. She was so tired and needed to sleep badly, but she wanted to let Indra know how far they've become and grabbed for her phone. Looking down onto it, she realized that she didn't had any service and sighed. It happened often the last weeks and it annoyed her. She sipped her coffee and restarted the phone but nothing changed. “Alright, I’ll text her later then.”

She whispered to herself and looked to Madi again and smiled satisfied. Having Madi around her, calmed her down, it was like Madi was a piece of Lexa. She stood up quietly and went to Madi to shake her softly awake. Madi grumbled and murmured several words. “Madi hey wake up. Go to the couch, it’s more comfy.” Slowly she woke up and looked at her with tiny sleepy eyes and mumbled: “What happened?” Clarke smiled at her and caressed her long brown hair softly: “Nothing happened, you fell asleep. Go to the couch or you might hurt your neck.” Madi stood up and went to the couch after using the bathroom.

  
Clarke also laid down on the other side of the couch and felt the tiredness consuming her body. She grabbed her phone again but still no service at all and accepted it.   
She drove into a deep sleep without any dreams at all.

 

_**The next morning** _

  
She woke up after 3 hours of sleep because her phone alarmed a few times because she forgot to silencing it. With small eyes she checked it for the new messages.   
Lincoln wrote:

  
_‘Hey Clarke, sorry to disturb your day off but something is wrong with Woods and Reyes talked strange stuff too. Woods is in isolation.’_

  
Clarkes breath stuck in her throat and she was awake in a minute. _This can't be, she wouldn’t risk her retrial_.   
Her heart started racing and she felt nervous and awake and didn't cared about 3 hours of sleep at all.  
Next message was from Murphy:

  
_‘Hey Griff, something is wrong with your girl. She pushed me away and I fell, that’s why she’s in isolation. I fear that she heard about us.’_

  
Clarkes felt adrenalin and fear in her veins. Her breathing became faster and she felt sick in her stomach. _Please god no._ Was her thought and she stood up quietly and headed to the bathroom to refresh herself. Even though it was her day off, she needed to talk to Lexa and she didn't cared if anyone would asked questions, she needed to know what was wrong with Lexa and begged it wasn't about Murphy and her.

  
She left a note for Madi with Indras number and wrote: ‘Hey Madz, I needed to leave that’s why: (Insert a number ) this is Indras phone number. Call her, I’ll write her a message and let her know. We'll see later.’

  
Her hands were shaking and she fumbled the key to open the door and breathed in deeply. She went outside and looked up to the sky. The sky was cloudy, stormy and it rained. She thought: _What a beautiful day to stay inside. Nevermind…_ She grabbed her handbag and ran to the car. Even though she ran fast, the coldness of the water consumed her body when she arrived the car and sat inside and dried herself. 

With a nervous feeling in her stomach she drove to her workplace and parked in front of it. When she stepped out of the car, 2 Officers greeted her because they had their end of the shift. She greeted back friendly and headed to the front gate and rang the bell so the Officer at the gate would leave her in. She signed her name and went inside to change herself. Even though she didn't knew how to explain why she's back at her day off, she tried to go for it. She felt exhausted and scared to see Lexa and angry, because she was jeopardizing her retrial. When she was passing the yard, she saw the women of Station 1 who were brought to their first work shift. With fast steps, she was able to reach them and said: “Ms Reyes? May I talk to you for a second?” Raven turned around and didn't said a word, but Clarke could see in her eyes that she wasn't in a mood to speak with her at all. It gave Clarke a strange feeling in her stomach. The guiding Officer looked at her questionably and she said: “I'll bring her to you in a few minutes.”

He nooded and Raven wanted to leave with the women but Clarke whispered: “Reyes please I need to talk about Lexa.” Raven already had her back turned to Clarke but held her movement. Octavia studied her with raised brows and laughed shortly, Clarke furrowed and didn't knew what this meant. “Come on Rave, let’s go.” Said Octavia in a bitter tone. Clarke sensed something was definitely going off here, she needed to find out what was wrong. She saw Raven was struggling if she moved or should stay, that’s why Clarke tried again: “Please, I need to know what’s wrong. Give me at least a chance defend myself.” The Officer shouted: “Blake come on now!” Octavia shook her head and said directed to Raven: “Rave let’s go.” But Raven turned around to Clarke and she could see the fire in her eyes. “Defend yourself? What about explain yourself in the first place?” Raven was disappointed and angry. Octavia went to the others and Clarke and Raven were all alone now. Ravens body language looked stressed and Clarke didn't know where to start. “Raven please what is this all about? Everything was fine between us the day before yesterday. What happened while I was gone.”

Raven smiled at her and said bitterly: “Oh everything was fine between us? I don't think so. Because you were avoiding us, and the worst thing is you avoided Lexa! You played with her feelings but for what?! Explain?!” Clarke furrowed her brows and shook her head to a no. “I'm playing with Lexas feelings?? Are you kidding? I worked the whole night with Madi on her retrial, do you believe I would do it if I would playing her? She’s the one who is threating her retrial with her behavior. She attacked an Officer, it could cost her the retrial.” Raven didn't cought the distraction, because Clarke was trying to change the topic. She asked again, calmly and dangerous: “Why were you avoiding her? Is it because of Murphy?” Raven blinked and waited for her answer. Clarke stepped closer and looked around: “What has Murphy to do with it?” Clarkes nightmare slowly became true. So Murphy was right, Lexa knew about ‘them'. Raven shook her head and laughed in anger: “See?! You even can't tell me now.”

She turned around and wanted to go, but Clarke overtook her: “No, please wait. I'll tell you.” Raven stood in front of her and waited. Clarke took a deep breath and started: “There is NOTHING going on between us, you need to believe me. We faked it.   
It was the day , when Lexa came back to prison. I drove to the hospital and wanted to speak with her because I didn't told her about Ontari, because I didn't wanted to upset her. I was afraid it could risk her health you know?” Clarke paused shortly and realized how hard it was for her to talk about it. The nightmares were still present in her head. Raven was looking at her patiently and heard Clarkes trembling voice. Clarke continued: “Murphy realised something is going on between Lexa and me and told me, that he would guard her and I could come an visit her without guards and everything.” 

She paused again and became more and more shakier. Raven raised her brows and understood slowly. She didn't knew Murphy would be this supportive. Clarke continued:   
“That’s why I wanted to visit her you know? I greeted him and he pulled me into a hug. I tried to struggle free but he told me that Pike was behind us. He thought he caught me, because actually he just became watchdog because of Lexa and me you know?   
This was the reason we faked to be together. If I had known how fast the rumors would spread I better had been fired.” Clarke looked down to the floor and sighed. She felt clearly uncomfortable. After processing it, Raven answered in a softer voice now: “Damn Griff. Why haven't you told us? Do you know how desperately she needed to know what was wrong with you?”

Clarke looked up with apologetic eyes and answered: “I… I didn't avoided her on purpose but… I…” but she broke off her sentence and looked away to swallow hard. Raven knitted her brow and asked: “but? What is it? Tell me.” But Clarke couldn't. She shook her head and tried to change the topic: “It doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know: the rumors aren't true.” But still could face Raven. That’s why she asked again: “Tell me Griff.” Clarke sighed and looked up and said: “I'm suffering of nightmares okay?! Every night I’m seeing Lexa hurt or dying. And…” Tears were building in her eyes and more came as soon as she saw Ravens compassionate look. “And every night it’s my fault and I can't bare it to lose her. She nearly died while protecting me. I… don't want to put her into danger!” Finally the liberating words left her mouth. Raven smiled at her softly and stepped closer: “Clarke, nothing is your fault. She was protecting you. She was protecting us, but it’s not your fault! Your feelings for her are making her stronger than she already is. You are not putting her into danger! Don't think like that.” Clarke swallowed the knot in her throat and looked at her, but couldn't form words. Raven: “Lexa might be stubborn and hurt, but go to her and tell her everything! She loves you deeply Griff. Go and work it out together!”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders. “But what if she don't believe me? What if she don't want to do the retrial anymore?” Raven stepped closer and grabbed her shoulders and said quietly: “She will. And if not, I’m gonna help you. You can count on me.” Clarke nooded and smiled softly until they heard an Officer shouting: “Hey is everything alright there?” Raven let go of Clarkes shoulders and stepped back. Clarke replied: “Everything is fine thank you!” he nooded and continued his way. Both of them headed to Ravens workplace slowly and chatted a little longer. As soon as they arrived the door, Raven turned around and said: “Hey Griff? I'm sorry about earlier.” Clarke nooded and let her in with a smile.  
 _I'll gonna speak with Mrs Sky and get Lexa out of isolation, than we are gonna talk about everything._

  
And moved to Mrs Sky's Office to have a word with her. 

 

_**Later** _

__

„Ok Officer Griffin, but you'll be responsible if something goes wrong between Woods and Queens.” Clarke blinked, because being responsible is the whole thing of her nightmares. But still, she nooded and agreed: “Of course Mrs Sky, the incident between Woods and Queens shouldn't happening in the first place. I'll take care of it.” Mrs Sky nodded and said: “You're right, they were supposed to be separated. Tell me, how come you're at work at your day off?” Clarke swallowed hard and looked down onto her hands on her lap. “I… misinterpreted my work shift plan. I thought I had to work today.” Becca stared at her and didn't said a word. Clarke sensed she was aware that she was lying. After a while she nooded and said: “Good then. Get Woods out of isolation and get the rest of the day of as planned. Have a nice day Mrs Griffin.” Clarke nooded and looked up to say her goodbyes and left the Office with shaking legs. She was nervous and went straight to the isolation unit.

 

_**Isolation Unit** _

  
She greeted the guarding Officers and said: “Its my Order from Mrs Sky to bring Woods back to Station 1.” The Officer nooded and signed it onto his paper. He showed to one of the doors and she moved forward, right in front of Lexas isolation cell. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Standing inside , she saw Lexa who laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. Clarke closed the door behind her and stepped closer and looked around to spot the cameras in every angle of the room. She took a deep breath and said: “Hey Lex. I'm here to get you out of here.” And forced an unsure smile, because sensed Lexas bad mood.

  
“Thank you, but you can leave without me.” Said Lexa without even looking at her. Clarke looked into one of the camera and tried to focus on a relaxed body language, because they weren't recording spoken words. “I spoke to Mrs Sky, you're free and you're able to head back to the station.” Lexa didn't moved and was stubborn as hell. She sighed and asked annoyed: “I don't care. You don't need to defend me. Why are you even here? Don't you have your day off?” Clarke stood a few meters away and shrugged her shoulders helplessly: “I came back because Lincoln and Murphy wrote my, that something is wrong. I was worried about you Lexa.” Hearing Clarke speaking about Murphy caught her attention and she sat up and looked at her with stoic expressions. “Funny that your mentioning him. Wasn't he by your side this night and told you?” Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She wasn't interested in talking it out while Officers were standing outside and in front of several cameras.

She said quietly: “Can we talk about it in private please?” Lexa laughed shortly and shook her head: “Actually no, I’m not interested.” Lexas green wooden sad and angry eyes were cutting right inside of Clarkes heart. She swallowed hard and came closer and said: “I need to explain it to you as soon as we're back at the station and not surrounded by so many people. I’ll bring you back now, come on.” Lexa eyed her a little time until she couldn't stand it anymore. In her mind were always pictures from Clarke and Murphy. She shook her head without realizing it and stood up too halt her movement right in front of Clarke. Clarke blinked nervously and held her breath until Lexa hissed: “You don't need to explain anything to me at all. I don't care, We're done.”

They were centimeters between them and Clarke got lost in Lexas eyes. “It’s not what you think Lexa. I swear it, at least give me a chance.” Lexa was boiling inside and needed to stay calm. She closed her eyes and pressed out: “If you have at least a little respect for me than bring me back to Station and leave me alone and spare me your excuses.” Clarke looked at her shocked about the coldness in her voice and the words. Her heart broke by every word Lexa said. She looked at Lexa, searching for words, the tension between them was strong and Clarke wasn't able to respond, because an Officer showed up and said: “Is everything alright in here?” Clarke closed her eyes and got herself together and said: “Yeah we're good. I'll bring her back to Station 1 now.” Thoughts and sadness were hanging between them and Lexa teared away from Clarkes blue and pleading eyes and moved to the door. Clarke stood behind her, forcing herself to be calm and followed her without words. She needed to be professional now and respected Lexas wish, but just until she got a chance to explain it. 

 

_**Station 1** _

  
Clarke opened the door to Lexas cell and Lexa passed her wordlessly and went straight to her locker to pick up her clothes to shower herself. Clarke stood in the door and sighed. After checking her watch, she realised there are at least 30 minutes left until the women and the Officers would come back. She stepped closer and tried again: “Lexa you need to listen to me now.” But Lexa continued to ignore her, like she did the whole way from isolation to the Station. It made her slowly angry that Lexa was this stubborn at the moment. “Can't we just have a conversation like adults?” Lexa looked up, still pissed and annoyed: “Like adults? Sure. You know what? Being an adult also means that you need to be honest. But here we are.” Clarke snorted and shook her head: “Being an adult also means to listen! You're acting is jeopardizing everything we're are working on Lexa!”

Lexas eyes went big and her voice became louder: “WHAT do I jeopardizing? You don't need to work out for me anything at all. You don't need to act like you're caring about me.” Clarke became angry now, she stepped closer and replied: “Oh of course, that’s why I worked the whole night with Madi on your retrial, because I don't fucking care about you?! Meanwhile you're attacking an Officer and threating it! But yeah I don't care at all. That’s why I came here at my day off, because I was worried about you. But you're right: I don't care about you.” Lexa clenched her teeth and swallowed hard, because she didn't expected this reaction from Clarke. She didn't knew that Madi and her were working on her retrial. She felt uncomfortable now, because having Clarke this close in front of her brought shivers through her body. Clarke was puffing in front of her with red cheeks and eyes with fire. Lexa broke away from her look and grabbed her bag to leave for the shower, but Clarke hindered Lexa and grabbed her hand to turn her back around: “No Lexa, wait! There is NOTHING going on between Murphy and me. He helped me! He helped us. We pretended the relationship to divert Pike from US, Lexa!” Lexa blinked and processed it and frowned.

She didn't understand a word and looked down to the floor with a shaking head and thought: _So everything was a lie? I fell for it?_ She didn't said a word and Clarke said with a sad voice: “I would give everything to be with you together outside of prison. Like Madi.” She stepped closer carefully and said: “Lexa… please you need to believe me.” But Lexa passed Clarke and sat down again onto her bed, with her head in her hands and searching for words: “But why…” she looked up with desperate green eyes now: “Why didn’t you told me? Why were you avoiding me like that? Can you imagine how worried I was?” Clarke felt the panic starting again. The whole situation was to much for her. Lexa stood up and was the one now who stepped closer. Clarke couldn't stand it to look into Lexas eyes and looked to the ground. She tried to focus on her breathing and swallowed hard. Lexa saw her struggles and tried again to calm her down: “I… I'm sorry I assumed you had something with Murphy, I should have known better… but…” she stopped and blinked away the tears who were starting to built in her eyes. “But I was overwhelmed. Your acting, the things Ontari told me, the things I heard from Murphy. It was all to much and I believed it. I'm sorry Clarke.” She stepped closer again, carefully and fearfully.

Clarke didn't dared to look up into Lexas eyes. Her whole body was shaking and she had problems to keep her thoughts straight. Until she felt Lexas hands around hers, feeling this physical contact brought her back to reality and she looked up into weak and exhausted green eyes of Lexas. Clarke grabbed Lexas hands tighter and found the strength to start to speak with a trembling voice, her eyes full of tears which haven't left her eyes yet. “You. You died Lexa. And you weren't waking up. I needed you…” She looked to the ceiling and blinked away the tears, but it was to late because they were already falling down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and looked back into Lexas soft eyes and continued with a stronger voice now: “I needed you to be save. But still: you keep on dying in my dreams Lexa. You’re dying while protecting me… It’s all my fault!” She stopped and sobbed, because her emotions were overwhelming her. More and more tears were leaving her eyes and Lexa raised her hands to wipe away the tears from her cheek. She whispered: “I'm not going anywhere Clarke. I promise! It’s not your fault.” Clarke closed her eyes and said while crying: “I already lost you, I can't lose you again.” She was sobbing hard now and Lexa’s tears were also running down her face. She pulled Clarke into in her arms and hugged her tightly to calm her down a bit. She caressed her back soothing and softly and whispered: “I'm not going anywhere Clarke. I won’t leave you.”

  
To feel Lexa things close calmed her down slowly. She felt Lexas strong arms around her and she felt herself relaxing a bit again. She didn't know how long, but Lexa continued to sooth her and after a while she wasn't shaking anymore and the tears stopped falling. Her head laid onto Lexas chest and both were harmonizing like an union. Clarke whispered: “I'm sorry I ran away. And didn't talked with you.” Lexa shook her head and whispered with her arm strongly around Clarke: “Don't worry. I understand now. I'm sorry for my assumptions and not giving you the chance to explain.” Clarke raised her head from Lexas chest and forced a smile: “Please… Please don't threat your retrial further, Lex. We are this close to get you out of here.” Lexa got lost in Clarkes blue ocean eyes and answered: “I won't.” and raised her hand to wipe away the rest of the tears from Clarkes cheek.

  
Clarke looked down onto Lexas perfect lips and was mesmerized by their look. She couldn't do anything but leant in forward to touch Lexas lips softly with her own. As she felt Lexa was kissing her back, she moved in more and soon their tongues were touching softly and were battling for dominance.   
Their kiss was full of Love, admiration, desperation and lust for each other.   
After ending the kiss with a sad feeling, both leant their foreheads against each other and looked into each others eyes. Their irises were dilated and they felt the sexual admiration between each other, until they heard keys and voices and broke away with a heavy heart. Both of them were smiling at each other until someone entered the cell…

_ **Tbc…** _


	23. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven is getting emotional about the events and she don't want to lose Clarke.
> 
> Clarke wants to get Madi to know Lincoln and Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting on this fic!  
> Have fun with the new chapter!

Raven stormed into the cell, followed by Luna and was relieved to see Lexa out of isolation again. She stood in front of them and recognized Clarkes tears on her face and Lexas teary eyes and started rambling because she thought they were fighting : “Damn Lex, first of all I’m glad you're back again, but you NEED to believe Griff, she explained everything to me! We misinterpreted everything!”

Lexa looked at Clarke who looked at Raven with confused eyes. Lexa tried to answer: “No, it's n…” but Raven shook her head and stepped closer fast and cut her sentence: “Its true Lex, try to hear her out, you'll will understand.” Clarke needed to hide a smile, because Raven was full in defend modus for Clarke. She didn't recognized Clarke smile, but Luna did, who understood that Lexa and Clarke were fine again. She also tried to stop Raven: “Babe, hey calm down!” and Lexa tried again to grab her shoulders softly: “Rave listen to me…” but Raven didn't care. Lexa didn't realised before how much she cared about everything, how much everything affected her, until Raven said: “No you'll listen: Griff belongs to us. We are a family! You love her and she loves you! We have a chance to have a normal life together outside, and I won't accept to lose Griff because of this misunderstandings!”

Everyone stayed quiet and astonished for a while to process everything Raven said. Lexa looked at her with shocked eyes, Luna touched Ravens back tenderly and Clarke felt fresh tears building in her eyes: tears of happiness. It made her emotional and she understood why Raven reacted this impulsive and disappointed earlier their conversation: she wasn't disappointed just because of Lexa, she also felt betrayed of a family member.

Before anyone could answer, Lexa pulled Raven into a tight embrace and Raven furrowed her brows and looked over Lexas shoulder to Clarke, who was watching them with a warm feeling in her heart. “I didn't knew you would feel so much about my presence Rave.” Said Clarke teasingly with a soft laugh and dried her eyes again. Luna laughed also and Lexa hugged her stronger: “We already solved it out Rave. You won't lose anyone of our family!” Raven looked at Clarke for closure and when Clarke nooded with a smile, she closed her eyes and breathed out relieved. Luna stepped closer and joined the embrace and signaled Clarke to also join them, with a soft smile. Clarke looked through the door, the be sure that no one would see them and stepped closer to hug Lexa, Raven and Luna and finally felt happy and peaceful.

 

_**Later the day** _

Clarke arrived home and was glad everything was solved out. As she stepped inside, she called for Madi but she was gone, probably meeting with Indra, because the files were also missing.  
Clarke texted Lincoln and Murphy to ensure them that everything should be alright from now on and made herself a cup of coffee, as she felt the tiredness which threat her body.

Her phone rang and she picked it up. “Griffin?” someone answered: “Hey its Indra. Madi just left and I wanted to tell you that it’s important to organize a meeting with Lexa and Madi. It shouldn't be a problem as her lawyer, isn't it?” Clarkes face lightened up and answered happily: “Oh no, not a problem at all! I'll organize everything tomorrow when I’m at work.” Indra: “Good. I'm looking forward to it.” Before she could hang up again, Clarke asked nervously: “Tell me. Do you think there’ll be a good chance to win?” Indra waited a moment to answer but said finally: “I think it will worth a fight. The only problematic this is, the trial is from years ago. It get harder from time to time to reconcile everything.” Clarke nooded and answered: “I can imagine. Thank you for helping us Mrs Johnson. I'll try my best to organize a meeting as soon as I can.” And hung up the phone. After a while, she laid down a bit and drove into a short but deep sleep.

 

_** Later the day ** _

Clarke woke up because the doorbell rang. She didn't know how long she slept but it was already dark outside, because it was still stormy and raining. She stood up and yawned and went to the door to open it. Bellamy and Lincoln stood in front of her with beer and snacks in their hands and stepped inside, soaked from the rain. “Hey guys, I didn't expected you.” Bellamy dried his hair and said with a cheeky smile: “Surprise. We missed our female part of our trio.” Lincoln: “It's been a while since we hung out a while.” Clarke nooded and said: “You're right. I missed you too.” Everyone sat down and chatted for a little while and drank a beer together. Clarke picked up her phone, sent Madi a short text message:

‘ _Hey Madz, how is your day so far?'_

Barely a minute later signaled her phone a new message again, Madi wrote:

_‘Hey mama bear ;)_   
_I'm alright, I visited Indra as you told me, and we worked out everything. Thank you for sharing her number! How was your day? Where did you go so fast?’_

Clarke smiled widely while reading ‘mama bear’ and replied fast:

_‘Wanna come over? I'd like to introduce you to two of my friends, plus you could stay over tonight again if you want to.’_

She smiled and took a sip of her beer which was nearly empty now. Lincoln said: “Who are you chatting with? Did you smuggled Woods a phone into her cell?” he laughed.

Clarke denied and shook her head: “Kind of. I texted with Madi, Lexas sister and asked her to come over. We were working on Lexas retrial the whole night yesterday. She’s amazing, that’s why I thought you need to know her.” Bellamy nooded and answered surprised but still happy: “Sure, with pleasure! I heard much positive from Lexa about her from O, but I didn't had the chance to meet her yet.” Clarke smiled and replied: “You should have known her when she was a kid. She was always be a whirlwind and her most important role model was Lexa. Always. What ever happened.”

Lincoln with a warmhearted smile: “You're still absolutely in love with Woods right?” Clarke looked at him with a sincerely smile on her face: “I guess I never stopped loving her. Even the time we were separated, there wasn't one day I haven't thought of her.” Bellamy took a sip of his beer and asked: “Was Lexa your first love?” Clarke went to the kitchen to grab a new beer from the counter while speaking: “I had several boys in my Life, but Lexa… She was the first and only woman I felt attracted to, you know? And believe me, she annoyed me so much at our beginning. But still, she mesmerized me. I never felt this way, the way I felt with Lexa. It felt like she’s my home, you know?” Clarke didn't realized how much she rambled while her speech about Lexa but it eased her to speak about Lexa how she felt. It always made her comfy and she wanted to let them know how important Lexas was for her.

Bellamy smiled at her happily and answered: “I wish you would have told us sooner. We could have told you about Lexa and Mount Weather. Maybe both of you had met again under different circumstances in that case.” Lincoln agreed but Clarke shook her head. “No its okay, it may be hard circumstances but at least I’m the one in control.”  
All three of them laughed and cheered and nobody dared to asked more questions about what Clarke meant, until her doorbell rang. That’s why Clarke stood up to opened the door.

“Hey Clarke!” It was Madi. She hugged Clarke tightly, observed by Lincoln and Bellamy, who had a warm heartedly smile on their faces, and stepped inside. Clarke: “Madi, meet Bellamy and Lincoln. They're two friends of mine and also are my workmates.” Madi looked to Clarke and asked addressed to Lincoln and Bellamy: “Oh hi, I'm Madi. So you also know Lexa? She’s my sister!” and went to them to shake their hands. Lincoln and Bellamy looked at her stunned because she looked the same like Lexa but younger. Lincoln smiled at her and shook her hand and said: “My pleasure to meet you, My name is Lincoln and I’m your sisters favorite Officer.” Clarke coughed playfully, Lincoln laughed and corrected himself: “Her favorite male Officer. You look a lot like her, Madi.” Madi smiled and her ears started blooming because she was flattered. She loved it when people connected her with her sister. Bellamy also shook her hand and said: “Nice to meet you Madi, O and Lexa are speaking highly from you. My name is Bellamy.”

Everyone sat down and Clarke said: “How about ordering some pizza and play monopoly?” Everyone agreed and Clarke searched for a flyer of the pizza delivery service. Lincoln grabbed for a bottle of beer and handed it Madi: “Wanna have a drink with us?” Madi nooded and cheered with him. They chatted and Madi updated about the development of Lexas retrial. Bellamy recognized how cheerful and relieved Clarke finally was and it made him realize that he didn't see her this way ever before.

Everyone enjoyed the evening and had much of fun and they played monopoly until midnight. When they said their goodbyes, Lincoln and Bellamy hugged Clarke and Madi tightly and left. Clarke and Madi prepared themselves for the night and went to their couch sides and driven into a deep and much needed sleep without nightmares the whole night. Clarkes thought about Lexa before she slept away :  
_We'll meet again tomorrow, Good night Love._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)  
> I'm happy about feedback, good or bad, so I can do better in future! :)  
> Thank you!


End file.
